blueangel

I've been reading your posts. You are so incredible lol. Hope I dont sound weird now, but I really like your expressiveness. There's something about it, that's for sure! Great poem.

Are you serious? I wish I could have seen it... lol. Something that resonates with you, maybe you've related at one point in your life? Loss of love is loss. I am grieving

Soul-hurts are scary

Ive never been in this spot before Where I am the weak one Unable to let you go Even after all this time I want you back I look back the years I cursed others' love For making me complete them Who tried to be mine But now I am yours And cant be Im refused each time You dont lean on me Like I want you to I need that goodnight whisper You are my moonlight Even now, though we do not speak As well You are my angel, singing me softly to sleep With that deep impactful voice That I only know to be your own It calls me home Oh God I love you Dont you know? Come home Why dont you dear On this brillliant road From all the years You have lead me So long and Im tired Let's rest And sing a lullaby of fire I knew myself before I knew you I knew myself before I knew you But now I dont know myself at all

Lol HI SIRAF! I was quite strange two years ago!! haha not much has changed

oh gawd...

Aye, but it was just a dream This world going "boom" The darkness settled in As night time begins And to a dream he was led And split in two The girl couldnt make him see What she felt, the things she needs It's not in him She spends day giving him her attention Pushing him away And so it remains The freedom she longs for Stuck in that world His world He holds the key

The sun sets The world spins Their hearts fall in and out again It's the way of things She touched his hand Got his heart instead Unforunate for him Her eyes were distracted By blinking stars and distant lights She tried to act into him too The sun sets The world spins Their hearts fall in and out again Her heart fell in and out again

Your friendship was all I wanted To be close To be heard But you threw everything I had away It was my fault It was all my fault- I let you down I could not let go the ignorance and jealousy in me Childishness indeed I stare at your photos now at the person I knew since a child Whom is anything but these days Always with a smile upon her face Though my heart aches I wish the best for you I hope you wish The best for me too Good luck with him He's the only one you'll love That and new friends The door closes on me To your heart Here it ends Brown hair beauty Hazel eyes Found her way alone achieved responsibilites through strife Angelic face, always tried so hard Never let them see her weak At least not as she grew up I will miss what she meant to me The fun days we had, just connecting My closest friend, I hurt you the most Her parents and sister hurt her for show But now they are all her best friends She truly is a beauty I never believed it would end It hurts to lose you This time we won't make up Dont ever think I used you I just knew nothing else to do But show my emotions, raw and all I'm sorry you didnt understand me I'm sorry I blamed you for this Even now, I wish you did and accepted me dearly As I always have of you and will miss sincerly

LOL this thread was from a long time a go. Omar and I know each other, and recently he was logged in at my house so I wrote that above "I love blueangel" hehe but he's doing better now everyone. And please resist name calling sheesh!!

it's good enough for me

lol I tried.

Sunrise over the hill The day takes its slow time To mount to me its richness To bring to me its light Sometimes I still stay waiting In the moonlight, the light of pain From what suffering can be seen But not the light of day The trees do speak of a soft sadness They are the reaching stillness, like my madness In me, struggling for what's free The sunlight which watches over me Its in human touch, warmth and want The type of love that knows fault not Instead of The type of haunting in the soul That governs your body, makes you feel old It's the pain that makes me cry But it also keeps me reminded of the depth of life Sunrise bring your might Help my tired eyes to open To the hearts around me I am done choking on my own blood My own disastors To my dreams. The falling leaves chant to me As I stand here alone Instead of sun, rain comes And I am still alone.

This is advice I actually try to give myself: if you can open up to one person, or to just being with them without expectation or need of them to make you happy, that itself is all you will need to find this key. It starts with you. That is a scary realization, but it is also the truth.

Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. Og Mandino It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. Confucius Surrender yourself humbly; then you can be trusted to care for all things. Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things. Lao Tsu I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word -- politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. Emma Thompson H e best keeps from anger who remembers that God is always looking upon him. Plato

I called my boyfriend after I wrote that (it was like midnight) and now I feel better. We all have those nights where we just cradle some pain and don't know what to do with it. To get through it...I just endure it. Suffering isn't bad, doesn't matter that much- because when you look back into memories of times you suffered, you only feel love and compassion for yourself rather than relive the pain in your heart. Sometimes that makes it worth it, especially on days when I'm trying to fake it... pretending to be someone I'm not. To remember and feel that love And it makes me take a look at how far I've come if I'm doing better another day...or sometimes just the next morning.

My heart won't let me go to bed Nor will my head Nothing will let me sleep And yet I feel so dead. I need supported, loved, and lifted To know I'm never alone Someone...anyone, are you there? For now, I live in the dark Waiting for good dreams That never do get here For no one is around right now I'm stuck feeling alone Can't hold myself up on my own Still I can hear them down below The TV roaring louder than it should But they can't hear me. My heart beating as its bleeding Holding onto my pillow sheets Life is never hopeless though There are many thing I'd still like to see Like to see where life leads Find out what I can be. Life's is disappointing though Every day, I still must go on Push on, keep fighting Trying to be so strong I'm trying to be happy But inside, I know I'm dying There's no one to see me I'm alone in the dark and My heart won't let me sleep

My inspirations are... Immaculee Ilibagiza, the Dalai Lama (his book The Art of Happiness is something I recommend to you), Martin Luther King, Gandi, Neale Donald Walsh inspires me, Cameron Diaz because she's ecofriendly, and Angelina Jole because she travels the globe to help people. Also the band Dir En Grey because they really try to convey emotions through their shows even if the songs they sing are sick and darkly. check out the link in my siggy! That's one of their songs from years a go but it's haunting and beautiful and I love it!! Rihanna's song "Umbrella" I love as well. ^_^ Lastly, the Goo Goo Dolls, U2, and Lincoln Park sometimes inspire me. I remember the first book to ever inspire me. It started me as the person I am when I was younger- "Enchantress from the Stars" by Sylvia Endagle. yup! What do you recommend from these two people you mentioned and I'll check it out. I dont know them so I'm not biased.

so...yeah!

They sound a bit like scifi! But I know what you mean and I've carried those thoughts before. We're all going to die and that's why it's so crucial that we choose to live, really live, while we can. Stand up and smile at the world no matter what happens. Make a choice, 'I am happy' and live with it. Go out into the world with it and you can make positive impacts and changes through the choice to be all that you are, the best of it especially. We have it in us to create magic in the moment but remain guarded because of our boundaries. These boundaries are self made, perceived only in the mind as true, but do not exist. You can reach out to any person, get close to any person, and express yourself to anyone you choose. The first step is choosing, not to hide from what happens to you or what you think is happening to society. we all have what it takes to create happier interactions and that's by caring, by making those closest to us matter. Dont be afraid to rely on someone, or to say simply that you need to. We all pass through this phase...and most do many times in their life. The key is to hold onto what you hope for, to never let the visions you have for your life fade, and most of all, to not fear change or to fear that you yourself may need to be the change, or change. You can reach any goal if enhance your visions and choose not to give up. life consists of conscious choosing but many of us choose unconsciously. You have chosen cynism and that is only digging you into a deeper hole of pain, sorrow and misery instead of enabling to live life to the fullest, while knowing that no day is promised. No years are promised. All we have is now to live. Widen your perception past what's wrong with the world and be part of what's right. be you, the happy you that you can be. I know you can do it. Because I've been where you are before. I understand. I know. I feel it sometimes to. But you have to let pessimism go if you ever want to experience the good. And I know you want to. I know you want to so badly. I'm here for you. -hug- If you haven't been able to tell, we all are.

Every moment of your life is a gift, whether good or bad happens, it's to challenge you to grow. Dont step away from that challenge. Embrace it, always. There are heroes who have before that you can look up to, to the hardships of life (Martin Luther King being on of them) Express yourself. Find yourself. Remember this moment is a gift. Every moment is one, whether it appears so or not. We only get one life to live. Stop placing expectations or boundaries on your own...and just work with the flow for a while. You have people here...strangers here like myself...who care about you.

"The life of a single human being is worth millions of times more than all the property of the richest man on earth." -Ernesto "Che" Guevara There are things we have to find before we can find each other.-» The Wonder Years

I already have found a nice guy. I actually have a boyfriend. I'm not THAT interested in my teacher- just slightly infactuated and I admire the qualities he has as a man. I look up to him and learn from him more than academics because he really cares about knowledge of the world, the world itself (he's an eco man!) and has his own unique teaching methods (believing students can teach themselves if given the tools to experiment.) Most students hate him actually, but I think he's sexy and has interesting viewpoints (even if at times, he presses these on the students- it's cool to me) And I like hearing any type of advice- I'm not the type of person who dwells too long on things she knows aren't right for her. I just express it and move on. Speak your mind, Rozi, yeah!

The only thing pathetic is the pity party you hold for yourself. This corrupts most humans, did you know? You CAN change this viewpoint. It is not your true identity, just a choice you made to behave towards your problems. But no problem has to be a problem if you use it to grow. If you leave now, you will be leaving the answers you've been searching for your whole life. You'll never hear what anyone says to you again- any child asking for help in the future (maybe your own), any lover in the future trying to get to know you and you wont hear yourself speak to others, the unique self expression you may have in this world will be lost. You'll never see your eyes again in your mirror. You'll have no more chances. As of now, you have every chance to turn your life around. It's your attitude which stinks and the self denial that perserveres of which you admit to yourself there can be no change. But let me tell you: there can be every change in the world. You just have to live differently. And this starts with your thoughts about yourself and life. They are a little immature and hopeless, like a teenager's still. The cynical aspect of the mind starts in a teenager the most, did you know? You have not left that stage. It's time you choose to do so. If you give yourself the chance to keep growing, you will gain that strength you always wanted. Unfortunately, now that you've declared "it's too late" you will most likely make it so. Only you can say "Ok, wait a second" because even as we all shout "stop" you will be disappointed since you cant find a good enough answer. This is called Missing What Life's All About. You are choosing My Life Is Only About Me And So That Makes Me Alone. Like I said, like a teenager's still. Give yourself time to grow. A lifetime even and then you can decide in the end if it was worth it to live. But you are too young to make an accurate analysis of what your own life holds for you. All you can do is keep trying.

Short and ironic. Cute.