The Morrigan

It's possible since every woman is different - though from what I've experienced it's unusual to get morning sickness this early into pregnancy. Have you taken a home pregnancy test? Are you on any birth control or been using any protection? Are you usually very regular, or occasionally a bit off cycle, or get thrown off when you're stressed or sick? You're late enough to take a test to set your mind at rest, and find out if your suspicions are well founded - just make sure to follow the directions VERY carefully and take it when you first get up in the morning (early morning urine) for the most accurate result.

Massages are what I was gonna suggest as well - but don't neglect things like the legs, feet, and hands, especially if either of you spend a lot of time walking, leg and foot massages are awesome. Typing or writing or computer work/drawing, hand and finger massages are great at the end of the day. And little things like scalp and neck massages are great for tension relief as well as the more typical back massages and rubs. If you have the control, bathing together can be a good intimate experience that doesn't have to involve sex or petting - focus on making each other feel cherished and get acquainted with each other physically on that level if you can If you want to do a little sensual exploration that doesn't involve oral, anal, or intercourse - and he and you have the control to know when to say when - you can do a LOT of very sensual exploration with touch, especially if your partner can keep his/her eyes shut or is willing to wear a blindfold - you'll get acquainted with exactly what feels good to each other, and deepen the trust between you at the same time. The person DOING the exploring can have his or her eyes closed alternatively. I know it sounds strange, but when you can't see - it forces you to rely on your other senses, so smell, touch, taste, hearing is heightened and you'll notice little things you might not when you're looking at each other (the difference in skin texture on the inside of the elbow, the places where the blood is close enough to the skin to feel his pulse, for example) - maybe why people usually kiss with their eyes closed!

I'd talk to him about it - since he's already said he wants to go slow because of past experiences, he may be worried he's going to be closing doors on meeting other people, only to find you weren't what he thought. And I agree with Mahlina as well as far as your instincts - does he seem like a player, or a bit uncertain and cautious? I'd bring it up casually and in a non confrontational way, like "hey, I didn't want to jump to conclusions about this - I figured I'd rather ask you and see if there was some concerns or worries you had about where things are going with us, and not jump down your throat!" See what he says, in person if possible. The way he talks to you about it should give you a better feel for where you stand, and if things continue to go well, you'll be laying the groundwork for being able to talk to each other openly about even more sensitive issues. Good luck and best wishes!

Ok hon, it sounds to me like you've inadvertently gotten yourself into a close friends with benefits situation, which he is VERY comfortable with, and which you want more from. From his point of view, he's not using you, you're close friends, he enjoys your company, cares about you, and not so incidentally enjoys your body as well. You, on the other hand, want to move into more relationship territory, not just "loving" in the caring sense, but passionately emotional to at least a degree - to where you prioritize each other in a wholly different sense. I think you've already come to realize you're not on the same page. He seems to like things just the way they are - he has the comfort and companionship and sexual aspect of a relationship without the emotional turmoil, and what he probably sees as something that would be more demanding than what he's looking for right now. If you're wondering if there's something you can do to change his mind - maybe, though I wouldn't bet the bank on it. Having been in this position and left it, and gone back on the expectation of change - while he might decide to officially say you're in a relationship if he misses both the sex and closeness - he's likely to stick to or fall back into old habits pretty fast - and you'll be in the same position, just with a title to call it. And that's cold comfort when you're giving someone more precedence in your life than they're giving you in theirs. Unfortunately, if he's not ready to give a real relationship priority, there's nothing that can make him ready, his feelings for what he wants out of life have to change, and that tends to take something major in personal growth. Not saying it's impossible - but I wouldn't count on him changing his perceptions in a hurry. And if he's to change at all - what you DON'T want to hear, he's gonna have to miss you to realize what you have, and decide how significant a hole you make in his life without you right there. He has NO incentive at all to think on this right now, because you're there, he has the comfort of your continued presense and friendship and support. I'd sit down and really think long and hard about what you want from a relationship... and if this guy can't give it to you, if you're ready to accept that and find someone who can. If this guy isn't ready for anything else, would you still want to or be able to be just friends with him? I know it's a lot to think about, but there's really only three options here unless you want to let this drag on as is - he decides he wants you in a relationship, he's not ready, but you feel able to keep him as a friend, no benefits, or you have to cut him completely loose and look for someone who can reciprocate what you're willing to invest into them. Good luck, and hope that wasn't too blunt!

Ok, I'm female lol, but I can tell you what DOES NOT work... Do NOT try and make any reason, excuse, explanation, or justification for what you did. Frankly, in that position, we don't want to hear it. Far better to go with short and simple for that part, ie "I was a bloody idiot and I know I've hurt you and damaged the trust in our relationship by my thoughtlessness, maybe permanently." Male or female, it takes more of a man or woman to simply accept responsibility for being foolish than to try to give explanations the other party is in no emotional condition to hear - and will probably only arouse an even larger degree of anger because they'll see it as an evasion and trying to avoid taking blame. Forget the flowery words and speeches - a heartfelt apology and stated willingness to do whatever it takes, counseling, therapy, lie detectors, anything, is far preferable - but, BIG but, don't give it lip service, be completely prepared to follow through on anything you get taken up on, without reservation. "I know I don't really deserve a chance myself, and it probably doesn't help much now, but I love you, and if there's anything I can do to make amends and try and salvage what we had, please let me know and I'll do my best, because I don't want to lose you." And last but not least, be prepared to listen to a LOT of venom, accept it, do NOT try to defend yourself. Yes, it goes against the grain, but your partner is in the position of lashing out like a wounded animal, responding to deep emotional pain - and arguing is only going to make it worse. He/she might be anything from hysterically tearful to throwing miscellaneous objects at your head - if the first, odds are you're the LAST person they want to try to touch them, if the second, dodge, pray nothing valuable gets broken, and beat a quick retreat. Tell her/him you're going to give them a bit of time and space to think about if anything you've said is something they'd consider, let you know if they want to talk about it, you'll be ready whenever they are, and apologize quickly - and leave them in peace for a while to mourn and be thoroughly pissed off. "I realize you don't want to talk to me about this now, and I don't blame you a bit - but if or when you're ready, I'll be here. I know it does nothing to help the situation, but I'm very sorry for what I did, because you're the last person I'd have wanted to hurt, and I know I did just that." Even after you start talking - the main thing is to avoid confrontation. Be honest - but don't try to evade any responsibility either for actions or for the pain they've caused. No man or woman wants to hear they were partly to blame for someone straying - and realistically, while there may be problems in a relationship, that's certainly not the way to deal with them - and that particular little neuron misfire was all yours. So, you deal. "Yes, I was stupid, selfish, an I'm the lowest bastard on the planet, and you're right, I don't deserve a fair hearing on this." "No, you're right, I didn't have to respond to his/her overtures, it was stupid." "Yes, I'll go to counseling even though you're not sure you want to stay with me, maybe I should go even if you don't, so I don't repeat my mistakes." Responsible and mature and facing consequences is not the same as whipped - and really, accepting consequences maturely is the only way you can get a start on rebuilding something resembling trust. Follow through IMMEDIATELY on anything you say you'll do, and stick to it like glue - actions are all important, while your words may be a long time in having much meaning, actions will speak volumes for you, and you want to prove you can be deserving of a chance to rebuilt trust.

You don't say how old he is - he could be bi, or he could be simply open minded and curious enough to have experimented. If he's sexually aroused by you and straight porn and women in general though, he's definitely not just gay. Is he content in his relationship with you sexually? Bisexual people can be as monogamous as straight or gay as long as they're involved with their partner and wish to be - so unless it really bothers you, I wouldn't worry about it too much unless he seems to want to stray and experiment with guys (or other girls!). Whether he's bi or not for certain he'll only find out if he's strongly sexually attracted to another guy - not just porn. Have you guys talked about it much? More girls than guys seem to go through a "bicurious" phase, but it's far from unheard of for guys to speculate, though not many I know would watch gay porn - if he finds it a real turn on, he may well be bi, but I'd say it's only a real issue if it interferes with the relationship you guys have together and your comfort level about it.

Hmm, maybe instead of traditional high class dates, see about using your car or a rental and going for the "cheapie" fun stuff where he wouldn't be expected to be, an evening picnic, walk on the beach or in the park, not sure how old you are but even something like a carnival where you could get lost in the crowd and dress to blend in. Lots of times people see what they expect to see - think of places they'd never anticipate seeing him, and chances are most people will be more like "you look like so-and-so, strong resemblence except for hair/eyes/whatever" and won't look so closely as at say a high profile restaurant or club.

Don't send flowers for the breakup anniversary lol!!! She'll probably think you're celebrating it! And even if not, it shows very clearly you're counting the DAYS since she broke things off. Making someone jealous can work - or it can backfire. Plus you want to be really sure that you're primarily spending time with someone cause you enjoy their company - you wouldn't want to be just a tool to make THEIR ex jealous, so be careful, better getting a few people together to hang out with and look like you're having a good time. I don't know if you guys ever went out in a group or had a problem with being a bit TOO exclusive, but if you're up to it and really want her off balance, and seeing either what it could be like, or remembering having fun in a group - ask them to join your group if you see them out. I say if you're up to it because you'd have to be able to be fun, and NOT let Mr New Guy of the Moment get to you. For her to reconsider she has to get the overall impression of "fun," not being in the middle of two pit-bulls. Word to the wise - Mr New Guy will know, no matter how casual and fun you are, that you want her back still. DO NOT DO ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING, to reinforce that. Odds are she will be mercifully oblivious as long as you don't give her any longing looks or stare, or say anything that's a giveaway. Let him act like he's being unreasonable in her eyes, don't do anything to reinforce he's right. You've got a bit finer line here since you dumped her, begged her back, then she decided to bail after that. Her stuff - if you send it back to her, include a nice, not lovey, but nice note saying something to the effect that you figured she might feel awkward having to meet to get it, and didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position. Add in some light newsy stuff that might pique her interest or curiosity (not too much, no "see how great I'm doing???" statements, you're not selling a car!) and close it with something like "hope things are going well for you there, take care of yourself!" and leave it at that. Why? 1) you're showing respect for her decision, and that she is seeing someone, not pushing her into a spot or making any conflict. 2) giving her tidbits about things (humor is good here) without tooting your own horn or stating "I'm doing GREAT!" 3) leaves the door open for her to answer, or ask for more, but there's no expectation of it, and closes with "care and consideration" and NO statement of exactly where you stand, once again, no pressure, but can leave plenty of room for curiosity. Stay busy, focus on things you enjoy of give you a bit of stress relief, and give both her and yourself time to recover here. If you don't take care of yourself first, you're in no position to care for anyone else!

I doubt it - but they would have a much easier time targeting the SITE and the administrators, saying it should be shut down for providing assistance in this area. It would be like any company being responsible for someone using company resources to do something illegal - the site itself could be held liable, and even if it was for a CIVIL suit by the families for say, wrongful death, it would be something that could easily shut the site down, not something we'd want to invite trouble with. It's also like any other dangerous information - post it publicly, and you never know who's REALLY using it for what purpose, it's a risk that most people aren't willing to take. This is a public site, and guests can browse at will - would you want to take the chance that someone in a rage wouldn't see your well intentioned advice and use it to harm someone else? There's no guarantee people will ONLY use something you post publicly for the intent you have in mind - and it's something to always be aware of.

It's amazing how people who had no time to pick up the phone and dial those digits start finding all kinds of time and excuses to call for the silliest of reasons when you're no longer obviously available, isn't it? Don't let him feel secure knowing you're sitting waiting on his sorry tail - if you feel strong enough emotionally to take some of his calls and keep it short, light, and end on a good note with you saying "gotta run, nice hearing from you, but I need to get going or I'm gonna be late!" Then by all means take some of them - but I wouldn't answer them all either. Wondering if he had his priorities straight and missing being calling on you anytime - and missing being able to - isn't going to hurt him any. If you want him to reconsider - he has to know just what he took for granted and all of a sudden can't be so blase about. If you're not doing anything extra socially over what you did before - get busy. Invest in yourself. When he does run into you, let him see the girl he was initially attracted to - and this was the girl he saw BEFORE you put things aside to spend time on him. Pamper yourself a bit to keep your confidence up, get that haircut you were meaning to try, or highlights, or something you felt was a little more daring than you were sure of then, get a pedicure and get those footsies massaged, take some long hot bubble baths by candlelight with a glass of wine, gourmet hot cocoa, or other relaxing drink of choice. Used to picking up little things you know he'd like from time to time? Pick up something for yourself instead, like that scented body lotion you keep eyeing and putting off figuring it was something you could spend money better on elsewhere. Plan some girl's nights out or in. Keep telling yourself "I'm sexy, I'm beautiful, I'm intelligent, and I'm interesting - and I deserve these things to be appreciated and not taken for granted - and I'm not gonna wait around for him to appreciate it - I'm gonna do it myself!" How you think of yourself comes accross better and brighter than the best of superficial beauty, one of the main things that makes up attraction is usually that inner confidence and shine that no clothing or words can fake.

Mostly agree with Avalon - only thing I would note is that while a woman's breasts won't start to increase in size or change appearance til later, extreme tenderness and soreness is common at about 3-6 weeks pregnant. It doesn't last more than a week and is basically a much stronger version of the tenderness some women experience during the days right before or during their period. It was the first symptom I and many other women I've heard from or or known noted, I couldn't even lay on my side for a few days it was that tender and painful.

I'm going to beg to differ here... Though suicide is no longer illegal in most states, aiding and abetting IS, though not often prosecuted except in cases where physicians assist. The wording tends to read similar to California's: "Suicide is taking one's own life. Suicide and attempted suicide no longer are crimes in California. However, it is a felony for someone deliberately to aid, advise, or encourage another to commit suicide." Technically yes, you could be charged with a felony in most states if it were discovered you had provided information or means for someone to commit suicide knowing that they were using the information for this purpose.

Hey NYC... I don't know if this will help any or not, but as someone who is "starting over" without much to go with halfway through life as well, there's a few things I wanted to say at least, and hope you can get something from them. You're looking at what you had, and mistakes you made, and regretting the choices in your past which led you to where you are now. But there's no point in making mistakes and being human if we don't use those lessons we learned to make something new. Yeah, I know, that's what you've been trying to do, and you don't feel like you're getting anywhere at all. You're still capable of caring about others. You're still capable of wanting more than you have. And while you're probably looking at your life as half over - it's the glass half empty, or half full - that still means you have just as much of it to go as what's behind you. It's been a year for you, and having lived in that area myself, I know the job market frankly sucks. I had to take work that I was technically wayyyy overqualified down there - but it was something, and it helped a little, though I admit when I got my first job offer I bawled seeing the wage! having something to get up and go to each day that produced something - and eventually, though I never got back into my field there, it did get a bit better. Just having a purpose in getting up and having a result at the end of the week, small as it was, was something, and I met some friends as well. One of my big mistakes I've made often is trying to set goals and milestones based not on where I am, but on where I was, and regrets for not having what I once did. It's not a cop out or taking it too easy on yourself to only try to get a bit ahead of where you are, and look at what you now think is important and what you would like to do and be - even if it's FAR from what you once thought of. I used to be in the defense contract industry - and at that time it worked for me; now I'm at home caring for my dad and 2 kids and scraping to start freelancing in graphics, but ultimately as a single mom and caretaker that's the freedom I want for myself, even if it means a HUGE readjustment in what I consider as success for myself, and even if I'm never looked on as being all that successful in other people's eyes. You haven't lost everything yet - and you've gained experience and appreciation for what's important to you it would be a shame to waste. It's no weakness or shame to seek professional help either if it might give you enough of a boost to focus a little better and get a bit of balance back. Take a deep breath and hang on a bit longer, see what you can forge out of adversity, see what you can build that has nothing to do with status and everything to do with you.

link removed[/i]] NYU article &hl=en&ie=UTF-8]Article from an intergender org Some general articles link removed[/i]] Intergender Faq for Parents And some parents faq on the subject, also links on there to general information and specific conditional information. It's generally now thought it's best to do nothing to choose a gender, and avoid surgery unless health or life is at risk, and let the child choose which gender they're more comfortable with when they're mature enough to do so - appearances aren't always an indication of which hormones are prevalent, and there have been quite a large number of children assigned a gender who have had to undergo surgery as adults to be reverted to the other gender.

That one doesn't sound like an excuse to me - she opened it up initially, and when she couldn't make it, still wanted to and offered to do something else. Sounds like she wanted to and couldn't because of circumstances - which sometimes happens - I'd ask again

Not much he can do about his size - and I imagine at that size he doesn't get as much stimulation from penetration as most guys would. What I'd suggest is see if he's open (and if you're open) to a lot of experimentation - oral, toys, even some light roleplaying, and make that the excitement (and something you can get an orgasm from) and focus of sex, instead of what you're probably used to, with most things leading up to intercourse. The precum - honestly he might want to see a doc to be on the safe side, a little drip here and there is normal, but huge puddles would seem a little extreme, and might have some physical cause. Do a little research - there's got to be other women in the same position who might have written out some tips for having a satisfying sex life with their partners

You've already begged and pleaded - she knows. What she has to work through now are her own feelings about it, and about you, and all you can really do is weigh the scales in your favor by NOT doing anything that will reinforce she did the right thing by bailing on you. If she's going to reconsider, it will be by the questions she asks herself, not anything you pose to her, and actions are going to be a lot more influential as to her judgement of you than ANYTHING you can say about yourself. Think of it this way - to you want to sound like a used car salesman? When you talk about things you've seen, self improvement, that's what is going to come accross, like a sales pitch, desperate to MAKE her reconsider. Uh uh. Which car gets YOUR interest, the one sitting off the the side looking good, or the one the salesman is pushing in your face, probably because he hasn't been able to move it for 6 months? So she wants to meet to chat. How can you show her she's important without bringing romance or relationship talk into it? Ask her about things you know were going on and important to her, work, a class, a test, a hobby or other goal. Be attentive when she answers, ask for details. Do NOT, NOT NOT, bring up the relationship. Bite your tongue, run to the restroom, stomp on your own foot, but don't bring it up! If she does, great - but let HER lead as far as what she wants to discuss. She says "I wish you hadn't... (insert something that angered/bothered her here)" DON'T get defensive. "You have a point, I never thought of it that way..." is going to get you a lot further as far as her feeling she can bring things up without having to defend how she feels. Ok, so you might WANT to burst out with "but I never...!!!!" Put a lid on it. Listen, pay attention, ask gentle questions if she seems inclined to say more, she backs off, don't pursue it, let her change the subject. If you're going to get the point accross you respect her feelings and opinions, you have to be receptive and alert to what she's saying - AND to how much she's comfortable saying at this point. Main goal here is for her to walk away from this chat with both a good impression of you and how you respond to her - and to feel GOOD about it. And hopefully to give her something to think about in the time following as far as if her judgement might have been a bit hasty.

You already have a lot of interests in different outdoor activities - why not see if there's any explorer or adventure groups in your area? Common interests to talk about and pursue can be a great way to get to know someone you already know you'll have things in common with, at the least you could make more friends who also have friends with those interests and widen the circle of people you get together with from time to time? The more people you get to know the more of their friends you'll meet as well

If you wait til about 3 days after a skipped period and follow the instructions - they're very accurate for a positive result, as avman said. It is far far more likely to get a false negative from either not using first thing in the morning urine (the concentration of hormones is much higher first thing in the morning) or being overanxious and taking the test before your body is producing adequate HCG (human pregnancy hormone) for the chemical in the test to react. If you're unsure - take a second test a few days to a week later - if the results match and they're positive, you can be pretty damn sure it's correct. If the first was negative and second was positive, same deal, it's extremely rare to get a false positive. If both are negative, and she still hasn't had her period, make an appointment, first, they can do a blood test, which is more sensitive to even a low hormone level, and second, if there's something else that's causing the delay, they can check for other problems.

It's a little uncomfortable, but more in the sense of being a bit embarrassing than much physical discomfort. What to expect: You'll have to undress completely and put on a gown, the doctor will probably start with a breast exam and make sure you know how to self check if you're unsure. Then the pelvic, which is mercifully short You'll lay on the table, scoot forward, feet in stirrups, you'll have a sheet to cover everything except your pelvic area though. He or she will insert a speculum, which looks a little weird, but basically it goes in nice and narrow, a hollow bit, which he'll then open a bit, don't worry not gonna crank way open, just enough where it'll hold in place. They're metal a lot of times, so it might be a little cold, and there's a click when it locks in place, which might startle you a little. You'll get looked at with a pen light first, to check for anything visible, then a small swab will be inserted and a small sample taken (you might feel a little pressure or slight feel of scratching, but not a prick or anything) to check for cervical abnormalities at a lab. Then the speculum comes out, and he or she will insert a finger or two and press down on your tummy at the same time, checking for the feel and elasticity of everything feeling normal, or anything which might be easier seen and felt. The more embarrassing part is then they will insert one finger (gloved and lubricated of course) into your rectum and press up to the finger in your vagina, checking the feel of the wall between there. Then basically you get cleaned up and it's over, except for getting a card to fill out for the results of your pap smear (swab). Probably takes 15-20 minutes tops. The doc may have more questions for you before or after, before, you'll be asked about your period, and he may discuss your birth control and if you've noticed any difficulties with it. And you'll get a reminder to have a pelvic exam done yearly, or to come back if there are any problems, or if you just plain have any questions. It's really not too bad at all - I'd have 10 pelvics over a dental appointment any day of the week, the worst part is usually waiting in the exam room in that little robe waiting and freezing to death!

I'd try and make it a little more casual, still with the same idea, like "Hey, so catch me up, how's things with you? (insert name) been treating you right? Had a chance to (insert something you did a lot) lately?" Still asks what you wanna know, but a bit less confrontational and direct as far as showing your intentions directly, and gives you more to talk about after she answers as well, instead of leaving you stranded for something to say that relies on what she answers. Try and think of a few things you've done lately or seen or read that give some good conversational material before she calls or you meet up - anything from hearing "stupid criminal news" stories to relate to something cute or thought provoking, vary the tempo a little so you're not left foundering for something to say

Yes, I'm aware of the study - it's also been challenged over and over and is considered scientifically unsound for several reasons. Even the article where it's laid out questions the validity of the statistic - many of the studies used weren't considered to be valid (he used other group's studies to reach his conclusion) and there is no apparent correlation when only actual medical records, and not patient's chosen disclosures, are used. Part of the problem with many studies is they depend on women disclosing the truth of their history as opposed to relying on medical records alone. It is still a fact that the cancer society, which has no politics at stake in this, denounces the statistic as unfounded in all their independent research and studies, though they do say that pregnancy itself has some protective effect against breast cancer. Believe me, if some definitive study comes down which is widely accepted as scientifically sound, I'd be more than willing to stand behind it, whichever way it comes down.

One thing I'd like to ask without asking for too much detail - was this someone she knew, and at least somewhat trusted? That can be an issue in itself - it REALLY knocks a huge hole in your confidence to judge people and trust people's intentions. And even if not - chances are she's still going through the "I should've known better" phase. Even if logically you couldn't have known better - hindsight is perfect of course, and it's then you see how you "could have" avoided being in the position to be taken advantage of or molested. It's hard to restore confidence in your ability to not only judge people - but to make good decisions for yourself. I've been through it myself - and it doesn't matter if you don't consciously blame yourself intentionally, you STILL look for things you could have done to avoid it, things you'd have done differently, for quite some time. If she hasn't gone to a counselor or support group - encourage her to go to one, or call one. There's a lot she may feel more at ease discussing with people who have actually walked in her shoes and know how the conflicting feelings can arise and how it can effect even everyday things. And there's a lot they can do to help and suggest ways for her to come to terms with both the rape, and with her feelings about it and about herself. This isn't something she should have to work through alone - and it sounds like she could benefit from others who have worked through and are working through the same things she is.

you might also want to have him blindfold you and touch you with different things that have different textures, temperatures, etc and in different places, and tell him what feels good, what feels like too much... have him vary the pressure, how hard or fast he massages or strokes, add a little good lube or massage oil at different temps - might help you concentrate on nothing but the feelings and physical sensations, plus it's a "trust thing" to let your partner do as they wish when you can't see what they're doing. Return the favor with him, don't just limit it to one area of the body, it makes for more surprise and anticipation. Get creative and think of things that are more "exploration" than "sex" to find out what surprise areas there are on your body that you react to, like behind the knees, inside arm, ankles, inner thighs, down the spine - the more turned on you get before being directly stimulated, the more ready you're gonna be.

Honestly - optimally (and I know a lot of people will disagree), I'd say mid to late 20's - not even so much because of maturity either. It's more a combination of stability - and of giving yourself a chance to experience things both as a single AND as a couple without the responsibility, and consuming 24/7 attention, a baby requires. Of course most women are quite capable much younger, but there's a lot of experiences you can miss out on when your focus naturally shifts to parenthood. I adore my kids - and being a mom is both rewarding and fulfilling, but I do realize I missed a lot of chances to travel, vacation, and indulge myself a little first - and it's something I'd advise everyone to consider. There are a lot of things you can't do so easily once you have children, and no, I don't resent it at all - but things like changing careers, changing residences, taking extra classes, are all much easier to do, and don't impact other people to the same degree, if you do them before you have others to take into primary consideration.