kdreger
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Everything posted by kdreger
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Do you have to see him? Break off contact completely.
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Sometimes only fear of losing something will cause you look at your mistakes and choices. Ask for a break. Tell him why you need it. Be strong. Either he will wake up to losing you and start to take your concerns seriously or it will be the end. BUT don't just break up. Give him a chance to grow and change as he looks at himself respective to the cause of the break. That way if it ends you will be better at peace with happens as you gave him a chance.
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AFTER A WHILE... After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong, And you really do have worth.
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Sure, ever watch When Harry met Sally? A lot of times you're at different places in life with someone. You like them, but they aren't interested. Then they like you but you're not interested. What you have to try to do is get that timing worked out!
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Not that it's going to make you feel any better, but it happens a lot when you're young. You and her were just at different places in life. You wanted to marry her and she wanted to explore more. It's tough because when you first started dating her you didn't know you'd want to marry her and she didn't know she wouldn't want to stay with you. That's what's tough - by the time you find these things out you've invested both time and hope. I suggest you go to Disney with a close friend. Enjoy the trip. Better yet, if there's a girl you like and you're friends with, take her. Don't have expectations but take someone who wants to spend time with you and you'll have fun with. For the love of god, don't go alone and do go!
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Which sex? The male g-spot is basically the prostate. If you can rub that during a man's orgasm - it'll be earth shattering. Problem is that it's in the ass and many many men stay away from there. For a woman it's at the top of the vagina below the clitoris. Many women only have orgasms through oral sex because you can stimulate the clitoris and g-spot at the same time. In both cases, it takes a lot of work to have good long orgasm's but it's one of those things where it's fun practicing!
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I do correspondence courses, wander these forums giving my obscure advice or go for walks. The greatest skill is the ability to feel ok being alone.
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hahahhahhah Genoh555, you're hilarious. Thanks for the chuckle. If only life was that easy
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I hear you buddy! I have moments like that every day. When you live with someone for 10 months, they become a part of you and giving them up is like giving up a part of yourself. It's hard. I miss my ex terribly and it's tough knowing that she's out there with someone new. She's telling him all the things she used to tell me, kissing him, hugging him and smiling at him with that lovely smile of hers. She's looking forward to his emails and he probably hears that excited tone in her voice. I don't even want to think about the fact that they're making love. It kills me inside. Some days I wonder what the point is getting out of bed. She's moving this weekend and although we talk once and awhile she hasn't given me her new phone number and who knows when she'll decide to give it to me as it will be a big step for her if/when she does. It doesn't really matter anymore anyways, it's over and we're both moving on. It's hard being the one who didn't want it to end but is forced to give up on emotions you still feel and the hopes and dreams you had with that person. Try to remember, as much as I do, that these moments come and go. I know how you feel about not wanting her to forget you as well. In some ways, she's in the new relationship to forget you and that makes it hurt even more. We're suppose to believe in fate, but how does fate heal a broken heart? Only time does that... ever so slowly.
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Only two things will happen: 1) You tell her - she feels the same - WOOHOO! 2) You tell her - she doesn't feel the same - DAMN! In both cases, you come to terms with your feelings. Tell her.
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ahahhahaha This sounds like a Seinfeld episode! Seriously though, some people avoid intimacy through involvment in other things. I suggest you distance yourself from the guy and see if he clues in. If his behaviour doesn't change, it's time to move on.
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That's emotional abuse. He has no right to blame you for his problem. If he was mature, he wouldn't shift blame and he would try to come to terms with him problem. Simply put, the basis for his problem is insecurity. I have had girlfriends with ex's who they saw a lot of and best friends who were boys. This guy has a problem with you living next door to someone of the opposite sex... sheesh. You might want to tell him: 1) You were faithful and he ruined a good thing because of his insecurity. 2) It's not your job to make him feel confident about himself and you don't appreciate, after all this time, the continued insinuations. 3) You don't want to be friends anymore because friends love you unconditionally and with a sense of hope, not in anger
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The best you can do is give her the space she needs. Otherwise, if you chase her and cause her stress, you will merely confirm her suspicion that being in a relationship is too much responsibility.
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Unwritten rules: There are many unwritten rules. Although feminists and misogynists would like it otherwise, our society still exists on the premise that the man is the hunter and the female is the game. Money, unfortunately, defines the successfulness of a man in many people's eyes = If you don't have money, you don't have women. If you don't want to live by this rule, you have to be honest with the woman. Say right away "I pay this time, you pay next time"? Or "I'll buy the ticket, you pay for the popcorn?" If she asks you, are you going to the movie: DON'T - "Yes, do you want to go with me?" = you're paying DO - "Yes, are you?" = forces her to decide for herself Realistically, if she wants to be with you, she doesn't need you to pay to make it worth her while. She'll want your company and that should be free.
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Wasn't this an episode of Friends? Chandler sleeps with someone while him and Rachel are "on a break". She is incredibly hurt and breaks up with him for good. The joy of that show was that for months we get to hear Rachel refer to it as something Chandler did wrong and Chandler constantly yells: "IT WAS A BREAK!!!" Kidding aside. Don't beat yourself up about it. If you don't make peace with your "mistake" you will live a huge weight. It takes two for a relationship to last and to end. It was on tenuous footing and the sleeping with someone else merely forced it in a direction it was heading anyways. It's actually better in some ways that it's over as you're going to have to give your ex time and space. Without the mistake you would have to struggle for ages and it might have failed anyways. As for learning from it, that's up to you. If you want to know if you're ex would believe you saying it won't happen again - only time will tell.
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She thinks were just a rebound, need advice.
kdreger replied to rebound_steve's topic in Relationship Advice
I like your alias. You should give her plugs for actually caring enough about you to fear getting into a rebound relationship with you. It happens all the time! My questions is: why not wait? Can you just be her friend for awhile? Be patient. In fact, avoid getting into a relationship with her for awhile. If she starts to date someone else, don't worry about it. If you want this girl to be the one then let her date a little and use other men to come to terms with the four year relationship. As well, the strongest loving relationship starts with friendship. Be there for her and you might be pleasantly surprised with her love one day. -
You were raped at 4, started masturbating at 5 and you wonder if something's wrong? Ok. Let's start with some obvious questions: 1) Does masturbating make you happy or do you feel ashamed? 2) Have you talked to anyone about the rape? 3) How do you feel about yourself - your self-identity?
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someome explain to me the point.
kdreger replied to molluscum_fibrosum's topic in Suicide & Self-Harm
Yeah, I understand your argument. The problem is that: 1) people grieve for themselves - they don't want to lose you 2) people see suicide as a comment that life isn't worth living which is true 3) people blame themelves when people commit suicide because they wonder if they could have done something more There some important things you have to remember. 1) Feelings come and go. If you're feeling depressed and feel life is pointless, you have to remember that this feeling will not last. That is why suicide is so scary because people will make long reaching decisions based on a momentary feelings. 2) Suicide is defeating. There are things in life worth experiencing and you will never experience them if you decide to end it. Living is harder because living is ongoing and not easy. -
How you treat a woman is based on your level of maturity and inner growth. Admittedly there are a lot of men who treat women like crap but there are a lot of women who accept and thrive on this. It's the whole bad boy persona issue. As a woman matures she starts to understand what she really wants from a man - true love. As a man matures he starts to understand what he really wants from a woman - true love. Until then they play at different roles - user and used - until they understand what most wise people have learnt. All you want from life is companionship and to be loved. Everything else is shallow and meaningless.
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Look at it this way, she's in the same boat as you. If you don't make a move, she's not going to either. Remember! We only regret what we don't do. If you want to make a move and not lose the friendship do a classic thing I've done and I think is GREAT! heheh Get drunk and make sure she knows you're drunk. Then while drunk, ask her if she'd ever go out with you or sees you as more than a friend. She can then use your drunk state as a way to escape embarrasment (you're drunk! or you should really stop drinking etc) and you can blame it on that the next day to relieve any discomfort saying that you talk stupid when you're drunk and apologize. Best part is that the seed has been planted. She will now look at you as a potential love interest but not be uncomfortable with you as the only reason you hit on her is because you're drunk. Make any sense? Then again I could be talking out of my ass.
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how do i get him to like me, when he likes someone else?
kdreger replied to shy_one's topic in Relationship Advice
You can't make him want you. Really the question is what do you want him for? For fun or for the long term? For fun = Sexual torment. Hey, you asked! Remind him that he's a guy and you're a girl... be seductive. There's many ways you can do it. One day pretend you're telling him an important secret: "Am I ever embarrassed. I forgot to do my laundry so I'm not wearing panties today." That'll get his attention. Be skilled though - no one wants to be labelled slutty. For long-term = Be his friend. Be patient. Love is not something you choose or make. It is something that grows over time out of mutual respect and caring. Real love is something that happens without trying. If you want to rush it, he has to find you interesting in a way that makes him want to be around you. Don't ask me how to do that, only he knows what he's looking for. -
I wanted to add an important piece of information. The break is GOOD! Why? Because if you two ever plan to get married, and you're his first and only... bad news for the future. Chances are as he gets older, if he doesn't sow his oats or try other girls on for size, he will start to feel regrets and the "itch" with seem unbearable. He will be sitting at home one night as the kids are running around screaming and think to himself "what happened to my youth?". He'll start to wonder if he should have lived more when he was young because now he's old and married and these kids are driving him nuts. If he lives that question now, in the future he'll say... "Eh, I tried the single life... it was fun but lonely and I'd rather be here now then alone some place" Isn't it better that he gets it out of his system now while you're not married with kids. Let him explore that aspect of himself and when he's sure about you, he will come back but it is important that he discovers this as he needs to be 100% sure before you enter the next stage of your relationship.
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Agreed. Just be there for him. He'll open up when he's ready.
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You can decide the merit of this yourself... What they say is that to succeed in getting a woman back after a breakup is that the biggest uphill battle is her getting over her bad memories of you (associating you with bad feelings so she's only sad when she thinks about you). How you do this is make sure she associate thoughts of you with good feelings. Some quick ideas: 1) Make sure it is only a positive experience when you're with her 2) If she's in a bad move, get the hell out of there! 3) Avoid her at that time of the month!
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Need more info. Why are you unhappy? What would give your life purpose?