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kdreger

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  1. kdreger
    Some advice and steps. I've been where you are. 1) Cut contact! Give her space. Give her a chance to miss you! 2) When she comes calling (and she will) be her friend. DON'T pressure her about your relationship. Just listen to her and show her you care. 3) While talking to her express how you feel about her beauty and what a great woman she is. The rule of thumb for everyone is that you have to change how she looks at you after the breakup. At the point of the breakup she associated you with painful memories. Now you have to change that. Over time, get her to associate you with good memories - change, trust and love. Then you're on you way and you will see a change in how she treats you. Important though is giving her space. Don't try to control her life.
  2. kdreger
    Agreed. My situation is very similar to your. It's tough to stay friends with your ex but if you two are committed to salvaging a friendship out of the breakup - good for you. My ex is starting to date again and I wish her happiness even as I struggle with it. Life goes on.
  3. kdreger
    What your man has forgotten is how sex is different for women and men. I hate giving these kind of suggestions but based on what you've said. Ask for a seperation. Start to sleep in another room. Why? This is to knock some sense into him. What men in marriages don't understand is that when they're single they get sex LESS. That's the irony with his "divorce" threat. The advantage to a seperation is that you leave the door open for him to kiss ass, you get a break from him bugging you about sex and with luck he will learn to appreciate you. It's a tough step but you sound miserable and, honestly, don't live your life to please anyone (although if you have kids you do have a responsibility to them).
  4. kdreger

    orgasm

    kdreger replied to crazyman17's topic in Sex and Romance

    An organism is a living creature... What? Orgasm? ahahhha Phew... sorry about that. Ever itch your ear with a q-tip? Feels good don't it. Now take that up a few notches. For men, an orgasm is nice. For women, an orgasm can be a life changing experience. Next time, I'm coming back as a woman.
  5. kdreger
    Online dating is the biggest fad going right now. The problem is that most of the people using online dating use it because: 1) They're not ready to face real people - TONS of people use online dating as mechanism to deal with their existing relationship. Every girl I met online was messed up. One complained about her ex ALL THE TIME. One was bipolar and had been in an abusive relationship... nuff said. One was so clingy she jumped me on the first date (not horrible but she outside of the bedroom she was just plain annoying). One was so aggressive it actually scared me - a guy! 2) They're incapable of meeting people the old fashioned way and won't learn. There's a reason why you use online services. Either you don't know how to meet people normally or you're impatient (read: hard up). 3) Mostly men use these online services. You want to test this rule. Use something like Lavalife and create an woman's account in intimate encounters account. Next: describe yourself as attractive with a high sex drive. You won't be able to log in ONCE without being attacked by instant messages... Online dating services are poping up everywhere and it's pathetic because it's the same dozen people on every service. Trust me. Meet women the old fashioned way - in person. You can assess their attractiveness and their intelligence while meeting them somewhere where you have something in common. Online dating is a facade.
  6. kdreger
    Play the game... If she takes off her top and shows off her bra, take off your shorts and show her your underwear. If she looks at you like you're nuts just say "It's hot!" and smile. Just play the game. If she's teasing, she'll give up. If she's seriously, she'll keep pushing in the hopes you make a move.
  7. kdreger
    Tread carefully... Just be friends, be strong. You're in control with what happens between the two of you. Don't be a fool and accept her right away - make her earn your trust. Take it slow...
  8. kdreger
    How do you feel about her? Are you interested? If not, just be cool. Don't lead her on and in time she'll let go. Don't assume anything as if you do you'll say something that might ruin the friendship. I wish I had more female friends who took of their tops around me
  9. kdreger
    Size doesn't matter. What people fail to comment on is that the actual sex act is short. The thrusting and grunting... short... What should be, and in good sex is, long is the foreplay. The teasing, the touching, the licking, the kissing... etc Hell most women can only have an orgasm through oral sex. If he is small BUT can give you long, good foreplay. Keep him. If his dick is huge but he doesn't believe in foreplay or is shitty at it... dump him. When a woman has had good foreplay... she doesn't care about size.
  10. kdreger
    I'm starting to let go of my soulmate. It was a hard long struggle that I'm still dealing with but I thought I'd give everyone some insight as to my thoughts. 1) Acknowledge the fact that you ex doesn't want to be with you anymore. You ex thinks life is better without you! Well F$&K them! They were lucky to have you!!! So you made mistakes - SORRY FOR BEING HUMAN!! (This was during the anger stage heh) 2) Think about your ex making out or having sex with someone else. Just try it! It's horrible but hate is GOOD! You may not want to hate your ex but it helps you let go. Don't forget sex without love is CHEAP! Know that you ex may get laid but it won't be good sex for AGES!! ahahahah (Ahem, more anger stage). 3) Picture your ex on the toilet. If it turns you on, you're sick. Picture it from various angles - yeah, that'll kill that romantic unrealistic ideal picture you keep holding on to. Stop thinking of your ex as the best thing that happened to you. Remember - on the toilet! Lots of ugly noises! This is symbolic - your ex had faults too! 4) Do what you can to pass time! Time is your enemy in the beginning and your friend at the end. I slept a lot, worked out, watched movies and tried to keep busy. It was hell!!! The minutes, hours and days took forever to pass. From someone who felt suicidal in the beginning to reborn at the end, trust me YOU WILL GET OVER IT AND YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!
  11. kdreger
    I didn't do a total disconnect and it was a long 6 weeks. She actually treated me better once I have her space. Thanks to disconnecting, I can accept it's totally over and although I miss her and think of her constantly, I don't grieve anymore.
  12. kdreger
    I'm in this position and I've pretty much given up. I still contact her a little but not in the same way I used to. She told me she went on a date the other day but that it didn't mean anything (yeah, ok). Anyways, I congradulated her and told her I was happy for her. I said, and meant, that I cared enough that I wanted her to be happy even if she wasn't happy with me. Now I'm just attempting to salvage a friendship. In all honesty, I'm tired. I'm tired of struggling against her doubts and her indifference. I'm just going to enjoy the break and not get into a relationship for awhile. They're exhausting.
  13. kdreger
    You're in a painful position because if you express yourself you may ruin the friendship. Instead you may just have to suffer in silence - an opportunity may present itself in the future - just don't push. Does she know?
  14. kdreger
    There some missing info that would effect the advice you receive. What has your ex done with the two months? Do you know? Who broke up and why?
  15. kdreger
    He's messing with you. As a guy, it's obvious to me. It's called emotional abuse. You play hot and cold and it messes with a person. I remember reading in one of these forum's a good analogy. Your partner is like a cat - you chase the cat, it runs. You ignore the cat, it comes to you. You need to have the willpower to ignore his emails and calls. What will happen? Either he will wonder why and try to find out or he will lose interest. Both are good. If he wonder's why he will try to find out - keep your distance. If he wants you back, make him earn it. My sister went through a similar circumstance. You have to regain your self-respect and dump this SOB. He will use you forever. If he marries this other woman, he'll still come back to you and use you. The only way you can take control of your life is by breaking his hold on it. Trust me, you can do it the hard way and do what you're doing for another couple years and learn the lesson I'm telling you or you can stop now and save those years.
  16. kdreger
    I agree with Sayer7. It doesn't matter how you feel. It matters how she feels. Take it slow. Don't have expectations. Just visit her once and awhile. Not too often but be around. After awhile she'll see you're just coming by to spend time with her as a friend she'll let her guard down. She'll start to share herself with you and the trust will build. You two got too intense too fast after being away from each other a long time. You have to take it slow or it'll crash and burn. Rebuild the trust and the comfort. If love can last 7 years, it can last awhile longer while you both figure each other out.
  17. kdreger
    I had this problem once and it made the first part of my relationship with a girl hard. By the time I came to terms with it, it was too late. I lost someone special all because she had lived a little (25 partners). You have to remember some people don't see sex in the same way or they didn't until you came along. Some see sex like a back rub - it feels good and God made it available. You can't discount someone for enjoying sex or doing things that you dislike before you were in the picture. As they progress they learn that sex is just sex and that making love is different. Don't hate someone for having so many partners, pity them as sex is never as good as having it with someone you love. Someone who has had many partners has never know real love. Once they do, it's doubtful they'll ever look at sex the same again.
  18. kdreger
    All you can do to win her back is be there for her. Show her your love of her (as a friend) and her heart may (in time) change towards you. The most important thing is that you can't expect her to change. You have to want to be with her as a friend as only then will you show her that you really care about her. Just take it slow. Let her make the decisions. Be there for her and really listen to what she has to say. The rest is up to her.
  19. kdreger
    You did the right thing. I had to do the same thing a couple days ago. I would feel a "high" when she was around but then later a terrible "low" when she left and I knew she didn't love me anymore. After awhile, I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I had to tell her that I couldn't see her for awhile or I would have driven myself insane. You have to keep your spirit healthy and you can't if you torment yourself by living in false hope. There are a lot of us in your position. It's been almost 2 months now and I'm still struggling but it gets easier. I cried in a few days and I don't feel the need to anymore. There's a sadness there and I miss her dearly but time really does heal you. Feel free to vent as you progress through the next month
  20. kdreger
    Still struggling with the fact that my ex doesn't love me anymore. I miss her badly. I was at the pub alone and wrote some short poems. She does not feel the same, anymore. Yet, I do. She does not miss me, or us. Yet, I do. She does not wake up, feeling alone, afraid, empty. Yet, I do. A hollowness inside me, such sadness, empty of hope. Yet, I know I will survive. Go on, she says. Where? I wonder. She says, Maybe, someday Maybe? Maybe is what I say to my son, to avoid saying... no. The color today is blue. like the sky, and the sea. Endless, and I am lost, in them.
  21. kdreger
    How do you know that you two were more than friends? Is it possible that the feelings were not mutual? That she was close to you but not as much as you wanted. It sounds as if she doesn't want to hurt you but that she's not interested.
  22. kdreger
    First off, 2 months is a lifetime when you're in love with that person. I thought 2 weeks was a long time! Secondly, there's a rule of thumb that it's far easier for women because a woman can get a guy faster than a guy can get a woman. Let's be honest, a woman can get laid any day of the week she wants - there will *always* be offers out there. Not so with guys. Lastly, grieving over a lost relationship is different for everyone. A year is a long time, you're only hurting yourself now. Try become friends with her as then you can look back at it as a learning experience and you got a close friend from it. You have to let go
  23. kdreger
    That's what I did. I told her that unless she can give me her love, we have to go our separate ways. I don't see her ever coming back and that's hard. Yet, I hate the way she makes me feel when she ignores me and teases me. Sigh.
  24. kdreger
    My ex comes over to visit and watch a movie. She tells me that there is no future between us but then leaving kisses me passionately. Tired from all the grief, I emailed her and told her that unless she wants to be with me, we have to go our separate ways. 1) How many people have gone through this themselves? 2) Did it ever work out? 3) Did you eventually become friends? 4) If you became friends, did you ask her WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING?!!? hehehe
  25. kdreger
    Actually, it's more likely things will work out after 2 years. There's been enough time for wounds to heal and personal growth. A lot of the time relationships fail because of timing - the two of you want different things from life and grow apart. Chances are the timing is better 2 years down the road.
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