HeartBrokenYetReady2Heal

okay folks...i just recently came acorss this wonderful site....and darn it..it's really helped heal...and most importantly indicate that I AM NOT the ONLY ONE..going thru these things/situations in life... Anyhow i am going to TRY, really TRY to keep my story short and sweet...hope it works.. So me and this girl hit it off 3 years ago...it was the first week of university, our first year away frm home, we lived in the same dorm and everything...things we're great...we loved each other intensely and at that time...honestly we both truly believed we were gonna go the full distance and get married after university. Now lets Forward to 2.5 years later, under some extenuating circumstances, I am forced to leave the university...and I end up attending another, different university (3hrs away...300km) from where my lover (my ex now) was attending school. So slowly after we separated for school, in the beginning of sept 2002, things start to get rocky. She ends up always going out, our phone calls are more scarce and when we do manage to catch each other on the phone..we ended up fighting and so forth. It was beginning to be the perfect prelude to a BIG OLD NASTY BREAK-UP ! And then boom...there it was in November of 2002..we break up..call it quits.....yet decided to be friends and keep in touch once in a while and so forth.. 3 months later..she's dating someone new...me on the other hand....remained single, and was enjoying what the single life had to give...it is important to note here that, when me and my girl broke up..she was like repeatedly stating to me..."oohh i am never gonna get over you, its gonna take years, i wanna find myself and be strong and independent again before I EVER ENTER A NEW relationship with neone" and blah blah...what a BUNCH of crock huh? 3 months later ur banging someone new....hows does that work ?!?? so i stopped talking to her from about March 2003 till Sunday July 6th 2003 (2days ago)..I stopped talking to her because I had big plans to fulfill, as I am entering first year law school coming sept 2003..i mean she was not going newhere far..well not yet neways...well nehow..it had been exactly FIVE full months... which is a longgg time for two ppl to cut each other out completely from their lives, especially considering we were two ppl...who spent a lottttt of time togeth daily while we were together and stuff... How did i manage/ survive the 5 months---> the help of good friends and family.... i kept myself busy and get over her. Folks..just keep yourselves occupied... ur mind busy whenever u find urself in this situation... It truly, truly works...getting ready for law schools, with all the applications, exams and so forth...i was easily able to kill 5 months. So on sunday July 6th i see her online, on MSN (this msn thing can really work wonders in terms of patching sour relationships..lol)..and i decide to (cuz i was in a jolly good mood) send her an instant message....she replies..and we end up talking for about 30 mins on MSN..she agrees to call me the next day....she does...fills me in on the past 5 months, and the most important thing being.....her new bf......and of course me being the nice guy that i am..was genuinely happy for her and congratualted her on her accomplishments....she in turn asks me if i had found ne one interesting..i state NO. She ask's why not..and i state b/c i was going to try and patch things up with her again..and thus didnt want to explore ne new possibilities in the meantime...this really hit her hard i think.....she asks..ohhh really....and when we're u going to do all that and i stated to her; near the middle of the summer (july).. i really was going to ask her out again... The biggest sidenote: When we broke up...we agreed that if either of us saw someone new within the break up period..then there would be NO, or VERY VERY VERY LITTLE CHANCE of us getting back together again..it was our agreement that if ur heart cant be tamed by one person...then it simply wasnt worth it..i dunno..i think tht was a naive deal now that i look back at it... So as we can see she has obviously moved on..considering her current bf caught her on the FULL REBOUND....and I repeat...this is a PURE REBOUND relationship...this is not going newhere soon....he's not in skool, hes not her type...and even she gets angry and annoyed when i state jokingly...that her new man is perfect for her and that they should get married soon....i find this to be hilarious...why would u get involved with someone if u dont think that he/she is not the one...if u juss want the sex..be upfront about it...right ??....I know..after knowing this girl very closely for nearly 3.5 years now...she's gonna dump him now some time soon this summer and come running back to me...thats sooo not coool!! she's not gonna play me like that.... so deep down in my heart i tell myself...i will never go out with this girl again... things r cool now...we're friends again..i guess u can call it that..and now she wants to meet me, call, and basically be a part of my life again...what should I do? should I let her back in ? is she gonna play both her current bf and me for fools? and what if she breaks up with her current bf after realizing that its just a rebound thing...should i take her back then? she's always telling me that i make the perfect husband...and hints that we should get back together sometime in the future....but in my mind i think..Honey u lost ur chance when u went out with the new dude ?!? Ne help from all u wonderful experts wouldbe appreciated..thanks sorry for the poor grammar and spelling mistakes...and i know this damn post was a marathon..i promise not to do it again...cheers !! thanks a million folks!!

Hey whats up guys/gals, listen....i myself have fallen victime to heart break this past year..and am doing very well with the healing process...I was going out with the love of my life for 2 years....we went to the same university and spent ever waking moment together...then I transferred out of that school to another school in the smae province and things just COLLAPSED!!! We were 19 yrs old when we started and 21 yrs old when we ended things.. During the last few, bitter and hostile months...i heard the same crap..and BS that you guys all did..ohh space, time, independence and that good old' we're too young for this...these are all valid excuses to not get involved...but after 1yr, 2, 3 or 4..or whatever the case maybe...to use such vague excuses and cop out..is really ignorant if u ask me.....basically i think the spark/fuse had died between us..and i sense the same thing amongst these other relationships in this post.....once the spark dies, there is always bitterness, hostility and tension. So there i was, left stranded, confused and heart broken!?#$! wht did i do--> the best advice I would give to anyone, anywhere, who ever faces the circumstances of loneliness or broken hearts is to KEEP YOURSELF BUSY !! FORGET THE GIRL !! join clubs, hang out at malls, go out with friends, go clubbing (if age permits), check the movies out, do new things.....do what ever it takes you to KEEP your mind of this ex-lover of yours!!! Once I got into the rthym of doing this...thoughts of my ex were slowly fading away...i think i really took the break up personal...and I vowed to make something amazing out of myself..that one day..my ex...shall sit there and realize and think to herself..."Wow I lost/gave up on a REALLY great Guy!!" it is those thoughts, and feelings which i seek to ignite in my ex's mind..though it may sound saddistic....but its true...far too often ppl's lives collapse and crumble after broken hearts...but I vowed to be different, I vowed to be strong and active...and I ENCOURAGE ALL OF U TO DO THE SAME !!!! Make something of urselves, be Proud, Dont let ur Pride down and keep moving forward!!1 other then that i would say there is no better medication for a broken heart.. To prove my point....nearly after 4 months of having ABSOLUTE NO CONTACT with my ex...she msn'ed me once just this past week...usually i would just ignore her msg's and stuff...but a lot had changed in my life since we broke up and almost all of it was positive change...so i kinnda wanted to make her aware of that and told her of all the great things..ie. my acceptance into law schools, family success etc. and I COULD literally sense her jaw dropping on the floor thru the msn screen..u know why...cuz she was still on the same boat that she had been on when we broke up...nothing new..nothing exciting..all she could say was..ohh nick..your gonna go so far in life.. ......i may sound angry at my ex..but she truly is a sweetheart...and helped me really turn my life around....we may not be lovers...but i appreciate her friendship and will continue to make an effort at it!! to this young 17yr old, who is calling, paging,txting and buying flowers....ur being played for a fool (pardon my language and harshness0 but ur 17......trust me....ur life has not even started....ur gonna see sooo many beautiful girls in college/university, at workplaces, at clubs etc.etc. so keep ur eyes open and ur bound to come accross someone who will love u and appreciate u as much as u do to them!! thats all for now..but if u have ne further questions dont hesitate to email me at email removed