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kdreger

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Everything posted by kdreger

  1. kdreger
    Your problem is that you want to be in love. You're in love with the idea of her and you, not the reality. Nothing is wrong with that unless it effects your relationship with her. Which it is. There's a saying that if you want something too badly you give off a "vibe". Women can feel that vibe based on your body language and actions. At that point, you're your own worst enemy. You keep this up and you will destroy any chance you have. You have to appreciate that what you feel isn't real love. Real love is something far greater and far less selfish. Better to go in expecting NOTHING and then your behaviour will be more fair to both of you.
  2. kdreger
    ahahhahah I'm sorry, I was just following up the issue of penetration. I don't think you could consider the use of toys as penetration as people would argue that you're still a virgin if you haven't had sex with a "person". Fisting would be the closest thing to the male appendage .
  3. kdreger
    Kissing like sex doesn't have to just be missionary position all the time. All you have to do is get creative. Tease her. Run your lips along her lips. Be sensual. Use one lip, both lips. Kiss her on her face, her neck and anywhere else that isn't covered by clothing. Use your tongue. Don't lick her like a dog but like she's super hot. Like it's almost painful. Soft, slow and light. Breath slowly, put on soft music. Always stare deeply into her eyes. Intensely. Go slow as if time has slowed down. Start at her lower neck and run your tongue slowly and softly up to her lips. Making love is an art and you have to treat each time like it's the last time (realistically it might be). If she's getting hot, breathing tensely, talk softly how beautiful she is and how her eyes pierce your soul. How deep they are and that you don't have to words to describe them. Suck on her fingers and toes. Nibble her ear. She's an ice cream cone, it's a hot day and she's melting. Don't waste a drop.
  4. kdreger
    Phew. I've been where you are mate (minus the other woman). I wasn't happy and I struggled with it. In the end I left. Yet, looking back I could have done thing differently and I have regrets. As well, I miss my two boys dearly at times (I miss out on a lot of their life - like parts of their Xmas) BUT these pains are selfish ones - you will suffer for YOUR loss and your want of this other woman. You have to stop looking at your happiness for a moment and look at theirs. Some people will say that you should stick it out for the kids but decide if your kids will be happy when you and your wife obviously aren't. If you think you can overcome these things that effect your marriage then try to for your kids. If it's too far gone - don't beat a dead horse. Make the most of it. Leaving won't be easy, lord knows, but it has to be done if everyone is unhappy. That said, if you do leave, be strong and PROMISE YOURSELF that your seperation will not mean that you don't spend ALOT of time with your kids. Don't worry about your wife, she's a grown woman and it takes two to end a marriage. Worry more about your kids and make sure they don't suffer for all this. No matter what she says she'll get angry eventually and it will be stormy. Make sure you get a good lawyer and your protect your rights as a father. Give up material items to protect your rights to see your kids and make their lives less hectic throughout this. Most of all, remember you only live once, and although you should try not to cause pain for other people, do what makes you happy.
  5. kdreger
    Well I suppose the best thing to do is ask a lesbian but since I'm a lesbian in a man's body I'll comment . It depends on how "serious" you are as a lesbian. True lesbians do "fisting", which involves a fist and the other woman. Otherwise, you're going back to the Bill Clinton argument that unless there's penetration there's no sex. HA! Nice one Bill.
  6. kdreger
    A few things - apologies for being blunt. He's shallow and two months, although not short, is not a lifetime. You're young and you don't want to write off two months of your time and effort. Don't get yourself into a bad situation (and you KNOW it's a bad situation) just because you've invested some time and he was sweet ONCE. You are falling into a classic "chasing" trap. You are now chasing him. He chased you at the beginning and made you feel important and now the roles have switched. He's playing you and it's a classic. His strategy is to make you NEED him and to want to get him BACK to what he was at the beginning of the relationship and as far as I can tell, it's working. He's 25 and if your actively dating at 25 you can get sex way before two months. Hell, you can get sex on the first date depending on the girl. I'm not saying the fact that you are waiting is wrong but, as pathetic as it sounds, it puts you at a disadvantage if your dating someone as shallow as him. You have limited experience in serious relationships, you have controlling parents and you probably have a low self-worth. These combined make you easily manipulated. You feel as if you need to earn his love and that this is all a "test" of your love. Not true. REAL love happens naturally. Don't mixing the courting period (when he was nice) to reality (what is happening now). My suggestion is to DUMP HIM. DO NOT believe that you can't do better and don't ever think he's not playing you - he is. Don't fall for it as you will feel like a fool for years to come and he won't appreciate it's significance for you.
  7. kdreger
    All I can add is help her to live her life and not dwell on it. Take her on walks in nature so that she has a chance to feel alive and enjoy the beauty of life. They say we grieve for ourselves and she is grieving over her loss and she has to see that life goes on. As other people have said, let it all happen naturally by just being an ear for her. I would just suggest that you help her with it by giving her a reason to feel that life is still a beautiful thing. Being outside and living is a way of healing.
  8. kdreger
    Warning: Don't think with the little guy. You have to make sure you're not mixing up love and lust. I "liked" all the girls I had sex with, doesn't mean I loved them. As someone else said, you and that friend need to have a heart to heart. The worst thing you can do to someone is lead them on by not being totally honest. That means being honest with yourself as well. Whenever sex is involved, thing get intense real fast and can get ugly just as fast.
  9. kdreger
    I would suggest, if you want to keep the long distance thing going, to try to make yourselves part of each others day. I imagine you have a good long distance phone policy. Well, look into doing things like calling her everyday when you get up or every night before you go to bed. Share your day with her and vice versa. A good way to do this is with a web cam, a mic and MSN messenger. It's better than a phone because you get to interact visually as well. Email isn't personal enough - the phone is better = the tone of voice is far more personal and intimate. I don't know how old you are but seeing her in person as much as possible is important. Long distance relationships tend to fail because of the disconnection that comes with distance. The loneliness aspect to it in that you just can't do something on a whim with that person and during sad and happy times that other person isn't there at the moment you need them. You can't hug them at any moment.
  10. kdreger
    Darn optimists . Seriously though, I'm sure there are positive stories out there. I just wouldn't go into online dating with rose colored glasses, as if it's a sure thing and will be a great positive experience. I think you really show your character online where being disrespectful and rude has no immediate consequences and a lot of people disconnect their online persona with their real self. True respect is given in spite of there being an "audience" and is given because it's (god forbid) the right thing to do.
  11. kdreger
    I was chatting with a female friend and we were discussing our experiences. hahhaah
  12. kdreger
    Are shallow, unrealistic, ignorant or rude? If so, online dating may be for you. Yes, online dating, a way of meeting people without actually meeting people. Ever want to get over someone without having to deal with your issues? Instead, would you rather torment someone else with endless stories of your ex while pretending to have interest in them? Great! Then join thousands of others in your position on online dating. You can: 1) Have unrealistic expectations 2) Lie about yourself, sorry I mean, sell yourself 3) Post the best photo you have knowing that you'll never have to really meet them so they won't see the real you 4) Decide to chat or not chat on a whim - rudeness doesn't exist online because everyone does it!! Wait! There's more! If you happen to come accross someone who is actually interested in finding a meaningful relationship, you can force them to become like you or leave feeling unattractive and worthless. Isn't technology grand!
  13. kdreger
    If you like Chocolate cake isn't the idea of having two pieces even better? Double anything you enjoy... the idea of two women attempting to please little ole me... woohooo.
  14. kdreger
    Don't compare masturbation to sex. Some warnings though. Don't masturbate too much as it can have 1 of 2 negative effects. If you masturbate too much: 1) You can make yourself a hair trigger and turn yourself into a premature masturbator 2) You can only get off by masturbation. That said, fast results from masturbation doesn't mean you're going to be a premature ejaculator. Just make sure to take breaks, change positions and learn how to control yourself.
  15. kdreger
    Errr.. asking about premature ejaculation without having ejaculated is like asking about having a peanut allergy without having eaten any peanuts. If you're worried about it you can do the following when you have sex: 1) Think about something "unsexy" while having sex so as to decrease your feeling of excitement: a) Your parents having sex (your dad saying "Who's your daddy" to your mom) b) Your girlfriend going to the bathroom ("Who's your daddy") c) Your best friends hairy back ("Who's your daddy!") 2) Make sure you change sexual positions so as to give some time to decrease stimulation - as well this gives your girlfriend the impression that you're experienced and kinky 3) Do not let your excitement get you ahead of the moment. You'll blow your wad 10 seconds of getting in if you've built it up to to biblical proportions. As well, it'll only be a let down.
  16. kdreger
    If it makes you feel any better I'm 34 and I've "dated" a 33, 29, 28, 26, 23, and 21 year old. Yes, a 21 year old - 13 years difference. I should have dated her mom as, obviously, when it came down to it we had very little in common. Two important things to remember: 1) Her parents will not be impressed. Tread carefully, they can cause a lot of problems. 2) It won't work out *unless* you two have things in common. Physical interest only lasts so long and you have to talk to her for at least a portion of the day .
  17. kdreger
    I still care about my ex-wife but I sure as hell wouldn't get with her again. Just because you break up and move on doesn't turn off your feelings. Sometimes the reason you leave isn't because you hate the person. Besides, more time passes and the more you remember the good things about past relationships, forgetting the grief and hell the ?@?$@?# put you through. So, yes, it's possible. The important thing is to understand this and keep those things separate. Don't let one cause conflict with the other. What can you do about it? Try to keep your contact with your ex to a minimum and MAKE SURE you never compare one against he other.
  18. kdreger
    At the beginning of your post it sounded as if he was contacting you in the hopes of "getting some" when he came back. He finds out he's going to be in town and so plays the distant lover in the hopes of getting some while he's in town. The last half just sounds like a freak. Either that or he's a jealous freak. Either way if you aren't having fun, delete his email address. You can date a jealous freak locally, you don't need to have one in the UK.
  19. kdreger
    Girl, I'm going to tell you an eternal universal truth. Ready? Men have fantasies. Men have fantasies about all kinds of women, doing all kinds of things in all kinds of locations. It's just a fact of life. You can't do anything about it and you will destroy a good thing if you allow it to come in between the two of you. It's better that you accept this universal truth. Ask around - you'll see he's not abnormal. That said, I think he's a pinhead for telling you. What was the point? I don't know him so I can't comment but it was disrespectful. Sure it was honest but come on... Instead, tell him that you've had fantasy about someone and make sure to point out a hot guy you know. This isn't meant for revenge but to humble him. He can fantasize all he wants but he has to understand that you can do it too.
  20. kdreger
    Your best friend has two flaws. 1) She's ignorant 2) She's high on herself Anyone who discovers their best friend is bi and then automatically assumes that they're going to be hit on is a fool. There's nothing you can do. She's not going to become un-ignorant. I applaud you for being confident enough to be honest with yourself and with others. Don't let one persons faults deflect from that. Accept that she has to grow up and that for awhile you two won't be close. Maybe in the future it will dawn on her how stupid she is being, but until then enjoy your new freedom.
  21. kdreger
    Geez, butch, just because you picked an idiot for a friend isn't a reason to think the rest of the world sucks. As well, if someone is going to treat you a certain way based on one-sided information they're, pardon the word, a tit. School is full of self-involved immature boobs, just accept it. When you care what other people think you give them power over you. No one is worthy of that, tell them to mind their own business. People should earn your trust and prove they're worthy of it. When they destroy it then you part ways and move on. You will have many friends in your life, some good, some bad. Don't let the bad destroy your chances in meeting the good. (Unfortunately there's more bad than good).
  22. kdreger
    She's just being protective and that's not a bad thing (unless, of course, she's FREAKING OUT!). You have to do baby steps. First, if you want to stay in town, do so with people (families) she trusts. As time passes she'll get less paranoid and call less. She probably doesn't want you to grow up too fast. The trick is to not rock the boat too much while you attempt to show her you're growing up. The more you fight it the more she'll push so unless you want it to go to hell, be patient with her. You never know what happened when she was your age. Her fears might be based on bad experiences of her own.
  23. kdreger
    Play the game. Call her your sexy woman. See what happens. Ask her if she's free to "teach you a few things". If she asks what, just smile. Throw some flirtation in there. She might get scared off or she might find it sexy. Either way it'll take it to the next level.
  24. kdreger
    Let time take care of it for you. No matter what know that it's what we don't do that we truly regret. Better to take the chance and be rebuffed ("friendship went kinda drab") then not do anything and always wonder. In time the uncomfortable feelings with lessen and before you know it all the reasons you got along so well we overcome that discomfort.
  25. kdreger
    DTB dude - Dump That Bitch Easier said than done of course but, honestly, what do you owe her. Now if you think that you'll feel better about the whole thing by telling her all these things to her face, go ahead. She won't care though as she's self-involved. Best to look at it as a learning experience and get on with your life.
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