bvnstar05

yeah, when i saw him on the bus and finally gave him the note, it was may 2007. he wrote back and told me he was in a relationship. but then i saw him working at a restaurant when i went to eat there a year later (april 2008 ). then after he approached me and we started talking about the bus, i left him my number on the table before i left. at that time (april 08 ) he was not in a relationship for a while. so basically, these notes were a year apart. hope that clears things up

we are both 20, our birthday's are actually just 2 weeks apart. but i'm currently a senior in college and he's a junior, but he is still older than me age-wise. after he told me he was in a relationship, i just wrote him back and told him it was totally fine, i was just curious or something like that. and i did pretty much forget about him for a year (went out on dates w/ other guys, etc.) and he never really came up again. until of course i saw him at the restaurant. it just seems like a long time coming, i feel like i've known him forever and its so surreal that we're finally together. we've talked about the past so much too, like he remembers me and that he even wanted to talk to me, but was too scared. in terms of girls forgetting about guys, i think it depends on the situation. i mean, i just saw something in him when i first noticed him, he just looked like my type and seemed like he had all the characteristics i was looking for. and turns out, he does but usually girls do forget, at least i've done so in the past when i thought that someone who rejected me was just not worth pursuing. but like i said earlier, i firmly believe that seeing him again after all this time was really my second chance and i couldn't pass it up, especially since i felt like he was sending me all these signals (the eye contact, kindness, smiling, etc). so, in a nutshell, i think that if you know that someone is just right for you and they don't work out the first time, they may be destined to come back into your life the way you had always hoped they would. might be cheesey, i realize, but i'm telling you, it is quite an experience

so i just wanted to update on this thread b/c something very interesting/surreal has recently happened. so this guy that i'd been painstaking trying to talk to and who ended up being in a relationship when i finally got up the guts to give him the note w/ my number, is now hanging out with me here's how it happened: i met up w/ a friend at a restaurant for her bday and when i walk in the door i see him, b/c he works there!! so he greets me and i'm so nervous/embarrassed and mumble something about meeting a friend, so i go sit down w/ her. i don't even look around cuz i'm so scared and my friend told me that he kept looking at me. so he came over, asked if he could take our plates away and then started talking to me. he was like, "aren't you from the bus?" and the convo went from there. he was soooo nice and very friendly, so before i left, i left my name and number on a napkin on the table. a few hours later, i receive a text, saying that he was happy that i left my number and that we'd have to get together to talk. it's now been a little over a month and we've been on a few dates and have so much fun together. i cannot believe this happened!!! i never really believed in second chances until this happened! it was so surreal to see him and just to even now hang out w/ him b/c it's been so long (an entire year) that i went w/out seeing him. but i am soooooo glad i had the courage this time to leave my number, he also said that he was glad i did b/c he was so mad at himself for not saying anything before i walked out of the restaurant. so to all those out there who are hoping for a second chance, keep your spirits up!!! if it is destined to happen, then it definitely will when you are least expecting it! thank you to everyone who contributed their opinions and i really hope everyone got something useful from this post. good luck to everyone!!!

wow am i glad that i started up such a popular thread. you guys all have really great points and as was stated twice earlier...i've learned sooo much! thanks!!!

haha, thanks mademoiselle!! i actually do feel more empowered to approach guys first in the future. there will be times where it'll depend upon the situation, but for the most part, i do feel more confident. and it helped that the guy was really nice for letting me know, and letting me know nicely. so there's one hurdle jumped, just waiting for the next! thanks everyone!!!

so the guy just texted me back saying that he's sorry it took so long for him to respond (2 days) and that he's flattered by my note, but he's already in a relationship. go figure oh well, at least i know and i'll never have to wonder 'what if'. closure's good i suppose

ok so latest uptake. it has taken me a very long time to talk to this guy b/c i kept getting mixed vibes from him. but anyways here's what has happened... today was probably the last day i could see him on the bus, cuz finals start next week, and he gets on the bus after me and it's pretty crowded but he manages to snag the seat in front of me. a while ago i had written a note and kept it in my bag in case i would run into him and was too scared to say anything. so since it was the last possible time, i gave him the note, which said: "so, i see ya on the bus a lot. we should chat" with my name and number underneath. before he got up to get off the bus i tapped him on the shoulder and said, "hey this is for you". he was kinda caught off-guard which i totally don't blame him for that but he took it, which is the important thing. then i got off the bus and just walked straight for my classroom w/out looking back. so, my question is, is this note sitting in some trash can somewhere? and if not, and say he was interested, would he even call? and is there a rule as to how long you should make a girl wait once she gives you her number? if nothing happens, i'm totally fine w/ it. i'm just glad i finally did SOMETHING...even i didn't really talk. let me know what you guys think!

so here's the latest: i finally saw the guy today. but i didn't see him initially so i sat down where i usually do. then i look up and see him sitting accross from me and i'm thinking "damn it...i didn't see you". so i thought that getting up to sit by him was too weird so i just sat there. opps. i did manage to make eye contact this time and he made eye contact as well so that's a good sign i hope. then i get off the bus and he follows but i look over my shoulder and out of my peripheral vision i see this guy walking behind, but oddly close to me. and he followed that way until we had to go separate ways. does this mean anything or am i just imagining it? usually people don't walk that close to me or anyone else for that matter. should i read this as some type of body language or what??

guys i appreciate all the advice so much! i've been checking this thread regularly to read everyone's ideas. thanks so much! unfortunately, the last time i saw the guy was that one tuesday where i couldn't even manage to make eye contact w/ him. so i prob haven't seen him for over a month and now i'm on spring break. i hope that when i get back i'll be able to see him more often, as classes get back into their normal schedules and professors don't tend to be so laid-back w/ attendance. so no juicy details quite yet...but please continue the advice!!! it's so great! thanks!!

our spring break isn't until the week of the 19th so i still have some time...however, i haven't seen this guy for over a week!! it's funny, because as soon as i finally know what i'm going to say and how i'm going to approach him, he's never there! it's so frustrating...that and i sorta miss him (pathetic, i know, after all i don't even know the guy's name i just feel like i missed my chance at a great opportunity...but who knows. so now i'm more concerned about actually seeing the guy again so that i can talk to him. i don't like this waiting...

see that's another thing i'm worried about. he does seem like the shy type, and there are always people on the bus, and no one really talks to each other so it's pretty quite. if i strike up a converstation, then everyone will be able to hear and he may feel a little uncomfortable, which may come off as cold. i don't want to embarrass him in front of everyone, but there really is no other way than the bus, so i guess i just risk it

thanks for all the awesome advice, everyone! it's so helpful! unfortunately, i haven't seen the guy on the bus for a few days...prob just getting there at different times. however, the day i did see him this week, i got off the bus i could feel him looking at me, but for some reason i couldn't force my eyes to look at him...even though i wanted to so bad!!! i felt like i failed myself after that day, and i knew that if i had just looked at him and given him a little smile, that would have been a big help. but i didn't, i was too nervous/scared. so now i feel like i missed one hell of an opportunity, and i only hope that i will get another very soon...

i agree with wilhelm about hooking up w/ someone doing the usual bar scene. however...thats just it...a hook up. and this is how diseases are spread amongst our generation (lol i'm j/k, sort of ) anyways, i say continue your pursuit of this apparently fantastic combination of a female unless you really get the "get away from me" vibe, which i don't think will happen. but meeting people in class is really hard...maybe she had somewhere to be right after class. take home message: keep trying, if it doesn't work out, you're bound to find someone else

so i sat one seat over from him and could not manage to work up the courage and just talk to the guy!!!!! what's the deal?? should i just make my presense known first or what? i'm so lost!

alright then, i suppose you all have convinced me...if i get on the bus on monday when he's already there, i will just have to push all inhibitions aside and just talk to the guy. the worst thing would be to do nothing at all, right?