Daddy Bear
-
Posts
4,253 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
3
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by Daddy Bear
-
wow, talk about not sugarcoating it! i'm sure tod meant that in a nice way. well, pretty sure. anywho, i was really glad to read your follow-up story. you walked away with your pride intact and w/o being defensive. pat your damn self on the back. wicked awesome job!!
-
whoa, that's a * * * *load of red asterisks, lol. i really sympathize with your pain and anger. (deep breath) ok, i'm not gonna sugarcoat this b/c you laid it all bare so you deserve complete honesty. it's just constructive criticism, ok? and just my opinion. so please... don't... be... offended. you used the words "proud" and "pride" a lot, but half of what i read sounded more like defensiveness. the second time i read through your post, i tried to put myself in his shoes and i think i would've felt really mindfked. that may be why he pulled the *samantha* stunt on you, although i'm not excusing that abuse either. unfortunately i see nothing left there but ashes now. it takes two to tango and it wasn't all your fault but since you seem to understand where you went wrong at your end, my advice to you is to think of the lessons you learned as gifts and use them in your next gig. you sound like a strong person; you'll do fine without him. are we cool?
-
Up and down like a rollercoaster
Daddy Bear replied to Meeky's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
if there's one thing i know, Meeky, it's that love is not LIKE an addiction, it IS one, and a mf of one at that. so could it be that being in two different cities will be a blessing in disguise for you almost like when a junkie's connection gets busted and he's forced to kick the habit? i know that nothing anyone says will make the hurt go away immediately (yo, been there!) but try to remind yourself every so often that when one door closes, another one opens. that may sound like so much crippitycrap but looking backwards at my own life so far it does seem to be true. i'm sure it's hard to imagine, but something even better could be right around the corner, just out of sight... -
that wasn't very nice but lmao anyway
-
kudos for turning down her request for penetration when you thought it wasn't the right time yet. it takes a real man to do that. it could be that she's reliving some bad memories, but more likely it's just that a girl is literally changed forever when she loses her virginity and she wants to be sure that you are The One. even in today's jaded world such romantic notions still exist, and i think that's great. nah, Dako's right. it's the clown.
-
i thought ALL women were that way. my s/o clamps her legs together (as if the auditory signals weren't enough of a clue that she's done) and if i don't react fast enough, my head gets momentarily caught in the vise.
-
That's an entirely noble concept, but it didn't work for me. I'm guessing that the past issues to which you alluded have something to do with betrayal (it doesn't matter who did what to whom). In any case, hear me out: I had been married about 14 years when the rug of trust and security got yanked out from under my feet. Sparks flew, accusations were hurled back and forth and then we settled in and watched TV. But the 900-lb. gorilla was never slain. We could go weeks without the subject coming up and then some trigger would summon the beast from dormancy and it would start all over again. I tried to forgive. I told her I forgave. But the issue never really got resolved ("I'm sorry" could have gone a long way) and so the gorilla was always nearby. The ensuing years were never as good as those that preceded the betrayal because we both knew that Bobo could emerge from behind a door at any time and go on a rampage. I rode out the storm until our younger son was on his own, then filed for divorce. The ex and I remain in contact but she's more like a sister to me now, and to this day I occasionally catch a whiff of ape stink in the air. [edit: i'm talking about the metaphorical gorilla, not my ex!!] The moral to my story: it may be possible to bury the past, but first you'd better make damn good and sure that it's dead.
-
the anti-smoking ad that had the most impact on me was on a pack of cigs that a friend brought here from his native Canada. as i recall, it simply said, "WARNING: SMOKING CAUSES IMPOTENCE" ...which is why i'm trying to quit.
-
thanks, Raykay. a 16% risk increase among spouses of smokers IS a significant stat. i was really wrong on that one and will be much more careful around others in my home in future. however, the same data suggests that walking into an occasional whiff in public (as opposed to subjecting someone to working in a smoke-filled bar, which is banned here in California) is NOT something to worry about, so i still don't see the need for the drama coughs.
-
no, you're not crazy, but you are ruining your skin and risking serious infection. you will find much more permanent relief in going to counseling, trust. i'm sure that even around cheboygan you will be able to find a professional with an understanding of self-cutting behavior who can help without judging you or committing you to an institution. go for it today, and good luck!!!
-
i'm truly sorry to hear about that. so young and beautiful... many people who have lost a significant other find it necessary to allow themselves whatever they feel is an appropriate period of mourning (usually around 6-12 months) before considering moving on. it sounds as though you may find such an idea helpful to yourself.
-
the anti-smoking propagandists wouldn't irk me so much if they would stick to the facts, but if they did they wouldn't have much of a case. to those of us who have studied the data, the radical extent of the truth-twisting becomes annoyingly clear. rabid 'health' activists like the flabulous rob reiner believe that the ends justify the means, so it's ok to brainwash people to believe that smelling second-hand smoke can damage your vital organs since it's all for a 'good' cause. the world health organization released a study a few years back stating that second-hand smoke is NOT a health risk of any significance, so when some rude and uninformed douche gives me a phony drama cough, i generally respond with a genuine comedy laugh.
-
when guys won't commit.... do they ever change their mind
Daddy Bear replied to miticalzz's topic in Relationship Advice
hold on, folks. sometimes people laugh because they're nervous. i know a girl who is madly in love but doesn't want to live with her s/o because she doesn't want to have to be 'on' all the time and the thought of being seen w/o her bra and makeup makes her uncomfy. maybe this guy really is telling the truth about wanting to see you more, miticalzz, but he is afraid of the subject of cohab b/c he doesn't want to lose you but on the other hand doesn't want to be seen w/o his bra and makeup (so to speak) and so he's avoiding your calls temporarily hoping that the prob will go away. does that sound possible? -
It's killing me
Daddy Bear replied to HoldMeTightly's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
you are gonna be so and so appreciative of your freedom when you get out of your parental bondage for good. it may seem like an eternity away to you now but that day will be here before you know it. ride it out, girl. -
Had a bad weekend...
Daddy Bear replied to FoxLocke's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
yuck. there are very few things more detestable to me than bible-thumpers trying to justify their prejudices. it just seems so... unchristian. ever notice how when these coneheads attack gays they always quote Paul's letters or Leviticus... but never Jesus? hmm, i wonder why that is... -
i concede that not all hobbyists become obsessed, but i can't think of a hobby that doesn't have a fanatical following. to me it's like drugs; not everyone who dabbles gets hooked, but all drugs have addictive potential.
-
i thought so, too. that's why i risked sounding like Stalky McDrooler in order to give her a pat on the shoulder. but worry not, Devyn. i live something like 10,000 miles (16,000 km) from you and there's a bunch of water in between, lol.
-
jerkesses, lol... what a great word, and not a single google hit, even in the singular form. i totally have to steal that one, Momene. remember: imitation=sincere flattery [edit: actually, there were 84 hits for "jerkesses". i goofed and searched google news the 1st time. 2 am here, wcis? i'm still stealing it from ya...]
-
one vote here for 69, and here's why: (1) less work for me (we go for honesty on this site, right?) (2) best chance of simultaneous blastoff, at least in my 'hood.
-
here's my 2 cents, or 2p, or however you good folks say it in bbc-land nowadays: commitmentphobes: definitely work better in pairs. money probs: this is one that disqualifies me from being the ideal hubby. i wouldn't wish my financial skills on my worst enemy (whoever that is). centered on you/clingy: = not being a whole person. friends with exes: wouldn't have it any other way. obsessive hobbies: aren't they all? bad past: i could swear i heard that the success rate goes up. in fact, i recall a stat that a 3rd marriage has a 90% success rate, but i could be wrong. here are some red flags that i myself missed or ignored when i moved in with my then-fiancee: drawer full of unopened mail, neglected cat, no food in the house, piles of dirty laundry/dishes, parents saying "wow, we thought she'd never get married!" but hey, it was my 3rd marriage, so it lasted 20+ years, many times longer than #1 (at age 15--thanks, mom and dad) and #2 combined.
-
bro, i hope like hell that you did call a suicide hotline and i hope that you were able to come back and read the rest of these posts. check it out: my high school years sucked, and i mean suuuuucked. i was picked on for being a geek and caught hell from so many angles i thought i was a human pincushion. not to mention that my parents moved me a to a strange state where i had no friends and we were so poor that my clothes came from the "slightly irregular" rack. and yes, i did cut my wrist in the 10th grade and ended up in the hospital. but thank god i survived, b/c it wasn't long before things turned around like they always do. i found a cool bunch of misfits like myself to hang with and pretty soon i had a girlfriend who i ended up marrying. we had two awesome kids, both of whom became killer guitar players, and to think i almost f***ed myself and missed out on that, plus all the great punk rawk shows that i've been to, the simpsons, south park, etc., etc. put away the blade, partner. there are millions of people out here who are ready and willing to get behind you, and there is NO SHAME in asking. please post again and promise us you're going to get some help, mmkay?
-
i already replied to your i'm over it post but when i came accross this one and read that you are my age i was compelled to comment further b/c it gave me great hope to know that there are girls like you in this world. if i ever have the great good fortune to cross paths with one i would consider myself very lucky indeed. i wouldn't care if she had donkey ears and a tail, i would treat her a damn sight better than the way you were treated by your former bf over the past 2 years. if i had ever stooped to act the way your 'man' did, my ex would have separated me from my reproductive extremities before i could blink. i'll say it again, and i would say it to his face: the jerk should be boiled in oil!!
-
devyn, i'm not a gambler but after reading your post (and even w/o taking into consideration the attractive photo) i would bet everything i own that you will find someone much more attentive and caring than the utter swine that you describe, and likely sooner rather than later. you sound like a really nice person and should be roundly congratulated for showing him the door. i'm sure everyone here on enotalone will agree that it's his loss, not yours. any boob that can't be bothered to give his gf even so much as a simple birthday card (!) deserves not only to be dumped, but imo he ought to be boiled in oil until extra crispy. i'm astounded that you had the patience to tolerate that type of behavior for 2 years. i wish you the best of luck in your future relationships, although i have a strong feeling that you won't need much luck at all.
-
i know, that might be tricky. maybe if you just ask him casually if he has considered counseling it will open up the subject or at least plant the seed in his head. the really hard part would be how to go about finding out if he gets morning wood. aaaand i don't have a clue on that one.
-
oh, ok. yeah, i understand that acetaminophen (tylenol) in large quantities can really mess up your liver and even croak ya, but if it was a few years ago and you have no symptoms like pain on your right side or brown pee then i wouldn't worry much. especially since you don't drink, smoke or shoot yourself in the gut, lol.