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About Me

  1. Something I haven't written about here is that I've been an alcoholic since I was a teenager (I'm 36). Alcoholism runs in my family. My Mum's brother and Dad's father were alcoholics all their life. However I wasn't close to them at all and hardly knew them. My Dad literally never drank because he resented his father's drinking. My Mum hated her brother for his drinking and drinks very rarely and minimally. I started drinking as a teenager because I guess it's a big part of young people's culture here in Australia. Straight away I seemed to have an addiction to it (maybe genetic) and it's
  2. Hi I never liked the men in my life to look at porn once we were together and after having been married to a secret porn addict (he was looking at it whenever he could I think), I just don't know if I can agree to go out with someone again. Yes, the sexless or very depressing sex life which exists with a porn addict has scarred me, but my feelings about porn have existed since I was very young. I grew up on an army base and the way that porn and strip clubs reduce sex to a transaction disturbs me. I don't care what a guy did before we got together unless he was unfaithful to someone. I li
  3. Hey everyone! I've been in a on-off long-distance relationship with someone for the past 6 years. In 2015 he broke up with me for the first time and revelead he was a drug addict (addicted to oxys). He came back after 2 months saying it was all because of drugs and loved me and etc. He broke up with me more times after that and I implemented NO CONTACT but he would eventually find a way to contact me. And he manipulated me always. This whole situation made me feel like he loved me. He was fantastic in the beginning of the relationship. Now he has been 1 year sober and he contacted me
  4. i find it difficult to believe that those that have never walked in these shoes could ever fully understand what this is like. but really...i think it would be impossible for you to not understand certain aspects. it's still strange for me to talk about this. there are very few people that seem to get it. a choice in itself. to get it...is to open one's being to that same vulnerability. perhaps i've been conditioned by the general reaction. there are ALWAYS undertones that this whole process was a choice. alas, to choose misery would be a madness. in some respects...it was a choice. the in
  5. Lately I’ve been struggling with my purpose and have been striking out with the few women I’ve asked out/went on dates with. I’ve been focusing on social media and trying to show myself to be more of value. It’s almost to the point where I plan the end of my week to do things so I can show it on social media. Like this weekend I want to go to the beach just so I can vlog it. It’s like I’m craving attention. The attention mostly from one girl. I need to get out more but I feel like I’m just gonna do it just so I can show it off. This girl I met on vacation and I have been talking so
  6. I have decided that I’m just not relationship material. I have a severe addiction to quack and honk. It’s all I think about. All I want to do is chase them demons that quack and honk. They haunt my dreams at night, when I’m at work or seasons closed I’m watching it on YouTube, working on decoys, tuning calls. Now I’m going through withdrawals because I can’t get any more quack or honk chasing again until September. Guess I’ll have to get my fix by getting some gobble and spitting and drumming in April.
  7. I've always known I had issues with things like depression and anxiety, but after turning 25 recently it hit me how dysfunctional I am in general and I'm not sure what the best steps are to take to get help. I grew up with an alcoholic narcissist mother (father wasn't there much) and she sent me away to a wilderness and boarding school program at age 16. After getting out at age 18 I didn't know how to adjust back to the real world and started smoking weed all day every day. I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now be
  8. I started cutting when I was about 7 or 8, my older cousin was doing it and I was getting bullied so I tried. I'm now 15, and well I've been 'clean' per say since August. But anytime I get sad or stressed or anxious(I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression, so all of the time bassically) I start to get what I can only describe as withdraw. I sweat heavily, I get cold and hot flashes, I get fevers and aches in my body. It feels like a tention migraine but it's in every single artery throbbing to the beat of my heart. It ends up being followed up by really bad thoughts and I ended up cutting an
  9. Found out my husband relapsed and was chatting with other women again. No one knows about his addiction and I’m feeling super isolated and hopeless. I guess just looking for some support...
  10. I've been dating this guy for around 5 months now. He is my first serious relationship as I wasn't that interested in serious dating before. He is my only sexual partner I've had and I'm his fourth. We're both 19. Before we started dating he watched porn like any other person. I also watched it before dating him, but after becoming sexually active I didn't really need it and started to find it a bit gross. He still kept watching it which didn't make me happy but I didn't think it was a big deal. It however started to feel like a problem after a couple months dating and the fact that he had
  11. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 years now, on and off. A little bit of background on us: He was diagnosed with bipolar type II about a year ago, though he doesn't seek regular help for it. He takes the medication he's given but doesn't seek therapy which has always concerned me. He's tried a few therapists in the past and none really clicked with him so he's given up on the notion entirely. He's in a very unique position job wise, he's a freelancer, and when he is working, it's usually away from home. He makes a substantial amount of money for the few months of work, then spends t
  12. I'm crying as I type. I had a relationship for 7 years. We had 2 amazing children. My wife struggled with addiction for years off and on. I was always there. For her and for the family. There was so many lies which comes with addiction, the trust was gone forever. We separated. I have paid her a good amount of child support from the get go and I see my 2 kids A LOT. EVERY weekend and Wednesdays. I will not have it any other way. It was never a question. I'm a good man. I'm a good father. I'm successful. I love. There was always a lingering doubt in the back of my mind that my dau
  13. My boyfriend and I are having problems. Long story short--he says he's a porn addict. I caught him with photos of 3 other women which he had obviously gotten through text messaging. One was of his coworker. One was from a Craigslist ad he responded to. The other, an old fling. I believe that he hasn't physically cheated, he says he just did all of this for 'material' because of his addiction. Fast forward a few months--we're trying to work on things. We're in therapy, he's agreed to go to SAA meetings. He's put 'porn blockers' on his devices and given me all of his passwords because
  14. Anyone feel like their healing is slowed down or subconsciously sabotaged by the fact that if you give up the pain, you lose every last connection you had to that person?
  15. So I have been seeing this guy for 9 months. He told me he used to be bad into drugs, went to rehab, and would have been clean for 2 years tomorrow. I snooped on his facebook (yes it is wrong to do that) and read this conversation 1:26PM J: Hey B can you still get bars? B: Yes I can J: can u get them for me tonight? 4:02PM J: Nvm man Should I confront him and possibly end my relationship over snooping. Should I just wait and see what happens? I care for this man and I don't want to see him relapse after all his hard work but I am so worried.
  16. About two months ago, I snooped on my boyfriend. I admit that this was wrong, but he had done some (small) things that made me wonder a bit about his faithfulness. In his e-mail, I found nude photos of 3 different women from the last 6 months. One was a coworker. It took me over a month to get all of the information out of him, and I'm still not sure that I have the full truth (he lied so many times, he says to protect me). The coworker he says was very aggressive with him and sent him the photo unsolicited (he still took the time to save it to his e-mail), that it was a short flirtation
  17. I've always been one to try to escape reality through some medium whether it's video games, drugs, music, porn, etc. Lately my mind has been in a dark place and while I have tried to use less the past couple weeks, I'm still in that mindset. I just drank an energy drink for no reason other than the dopamine reward and have been wasting away a few hours on the internet doing nothing productive. I'd say the worst thing about my personality is that I also have the ability to get addicted to people, usually narcissists. So I may have issues with codependency as well. But lately I have done a fu
  18. Hey Guys, I feel like im freakin dying here.its a real dillemma I have known this girl for many years... started being friends in high school then went to college in the same course. Then worked at the same place. I mean... i absolutely love this girl. We are best friends!.. and when we hang out we can have so much fun.... But after more then 10 years being in eachothers , lives sexual Chemistry started to happen and we started making out here and there... some touching. I am so so so so so (x1million) attracted to her. if i could say super explicit thing about how much a crave thi
  19. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. There are a few things that I am just not to sure about, because I have not experienced them. From what he has told me, he does not bounce from relationship to relationship. He has long relationships with women, but these women are all addicts. I have not seen any of this with him. After his last relationship, he was living with her and she started dating someone else. She thought that they decided to just be friends. He went to their house, took the mattress outside and cut it up. If I startle him, he raises his fist. I don't think he can he
  20. Hi everyone, New to the forum. I've been going through a hellish breakup with my ex fiancee. We've been together for almost 2 years. He is addicted to Meth and Alcohol. Been arrested for Meth possession 3 times in 6 months. He is addicted to porn 200 or more pages of videos a day. I've also seen emails to women who are looking to get "spun and " He's on dating/sex hookup sites. He only associated with drug addicts and drug dealers. I am not involved in any of that. He would lie about going to work. We lived together and he wouldn't help pay the bills equally. Maybe $150 here
  21. When your spouse/partner prefers porn over sex? Do they have a porn addiction?
  22. Hi everyone. I have a problem regarding my relationship. I am in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend, neither of us thought that it was possible to find a person that gives you so much joy and personal stimulans every day. But the problem is that he keeps lying to me. And that is definitely not the most healthy thing. When we got together some 1 1/2 year ago I told him about my views on pornography in a relationship. There is a personal reason for my dislike of porn: it ruined my last relationship. As my ex's addiction to porn grew (he was not addicted when we got together) i bec
  23. My girlfriend and I went our separate ways last week after breaking up over the course of two weeks, and we said goodbye on a good note. We both care for one another deeply but fell out of love. We both love each other very much and want to continue to support one another if need be. She broke it off with me and I took it very hard. I still am. After we said goodbye to one another and I began no contact. I made it 4 days before having a mental breakdown. I'm spiraling I to deep depression. I'm think I'm emotionally and physically addicted to her. I feel like without her there isn't a me. I fee
  24. Have you ever been a porn addict? Did you tell your partner? Did you love your partner any less? Has anyone been in a relationship with a porn addict?
  25. Hi there, I'm new to this so not sure whether I'll actually find any answers I'm looking for. First off I just want to say that some of the things I've done (which I will go on to explain) I'm not proud of, and I know I'm 100% in the wrong. I do not need to be berated, told off or anything else, I genuinely want some help, so if you're not able to help, that's fine, just don't tell me what a bad person I am please. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years - He is wonderful, kind, caring, sweet, loyal, my best friend, he makes me laugh, genuinely wants the best for me, and me for him, we h
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