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Itsok

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  1. Itsok
    Sadly it means she just isn't interested in you anymore and it's time to move on yourself. That's cruel that she stabbed at you with the 'new boyfriend' remark, but just a reminder that she isn't someone you want in your life. Do strict no contact and move forward.
  2. Itsok
    Don't spend so much time dwelling on the past and the fighting that has occurred. If I were you, I would spend more time focusing on yourself right now and let him 'come back to you' if you know what I mean. Spend time alone, figuring out what you want from this relationship too. It isn't just about him healing, it's about you healing too. Give each other some space and things will be alright.
  3. Itsok
    If she wanted to she could have a relationship with God and you. Couples do that, it's normal. If she really believes God wants the two of you to be separated, there's nothing you can do about it. Move on and do strict NC. Unfortunately, I don't think God wants this as much as she does. If you aren't religious and it's that important to her that you are, you two are just not meant to be.
  4. Itsok
    Of course it's always easier said than done, but keep in mind that she has outright told you that you aren't number one in her life and never will be. I don't think I could stay in a relationship like that, it's not fair to you. If when you talk to her she says that you will always be on the back burner no matter what, it's time to think through if this person is the one for you. It sounds like she has a lot more priorities on her mind and you aren't one of them.
  5. Itsok
    Honestly, I doubt he 'stopped in midscrew' to be blunt. He just added that part in for good measure and to sound like he had a change of heart. Yes, how many times has he cheated before? The fact that you had to find out about this because you contracted an STD is grounds for relationship termination. Of course any cheating is wrong, but I still maintain that he wouldn't have told you had you not gotten ill. If someone can hold in a secret like that for any length of time and not be eaten by guilt, they are not trustworthy. This completely sickens me and you have my deepest sympathies muse. You are a wonderful girlfriend and person I'm sure, and you didn't deserve this. I would seriously think about finishing this relationship. Something stinks about this whole thing, especially since he is getting annoyed with you about what HE did and you are questioning about. If I were you I would walk and show him that you won't tolerate this type of treatment. He knows that you have been cheated on and abused before, and still chose to go through with this. I don't care how drunk a person is, if they can be of stable enough mind to leave the bar, go to someone else's place and start having sex, 'drunk' is just an excuse.
  6. Itsok
    Have you been to a psychologist? I know, that's a bad way to start a post, but everytime I read your posts, I think you have an anxiety disorder that is serious enough to need treatment! You don't have to live like this, totally consumed by your anxieties and thoughts. Go and be checked out, and get some help instead of having to live trapped in your mind. All the things you are worrying about are absolutely unnecessary. There's no reason to worry about these things, but you can't stop yourself. There's no harm in being checked out and seeing if you are dealing with things well.
  7. Itsok
    I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you! My first question: Would he have confessed had he not infected you with an STD? Honey, don't give up your life and your happiness for this guy. You have done nothing to deserve this, and have already endured enough suffering at the hands of your ex. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. We'll be here to support you either way, and it WILL be ok! Tell us what you think you will do and we'll help.
  8. Itsok

    My Story

    Itsok replied to Lilac's topic in Abuse and Violence

    Sorry he sounds like he's a jerk as well. I can't believe he would tell you that he's waiting for you to cheat on him! I would get out of this one. And btw, he says all that and then guilts you into staying? Yes, this is abusive.
  9. Itsok
    Take cranberry pills EVERY DAY. I used to get frequent UTI's and have been taking these continuosly for months now...and haven't had one. Be sure to use the washroom after sex, and drink plenty of water throughout the day.
  10. Itsok
    Don't worry, what you feel is completely normal and healthy. You don't have to go crazy missing someone every moment to be in love with them. The calmness and security you feel in this relationship shows it's for real.
  11. Itsok
    I don't think the correct advise is "if they cheat on you, cheat on them." What's the point of having a relationship with no trust at all? Not all men cheat. If a man cheats, he is unhappy in the relationship and he's not the one for you.
  12. Itsok
    You do sound paranoid actually. A bit too much so. It's ok to be concerned about what others think, but this is a bit too extreme. Don't worry too much You should sit down and write in a journal. Something is at the root of all this, and even you aren't sure what it is. Thoughts are like that. It's ok
  13. Itsok
    I haven't had it done, but I assume it would be uncomfortable but not severely painful. I too have heard that the cramping and pain from medicinal abortion is drastic. If you have considered everything and are going through with it anyway, then maybe talk to the doctor/surgeon about your concerns and maybe they can give you gas or something? I'm sure they could give you something if you are frightened that would relax you enough that you wouldn't be panicking. I would also like to add that many women who have an abortion do come out of it rather upset and confused about the whole ordeal. It isn't good for you physically, nor mentally. Do look into it a bit more if you can, or if you have already, God bless.
  14. Itsok
    I didn't read that part about the girl being nearly strangled to death. That's nothing to be glad about, and I don't think that qualifies as karma. Don't be hateful, no one deserves that regardless of what they may have done to you (or might have done? Don't blame her friend, your ex is the one that broke it off). That's not good to gloat about. Never gain happiness over someone else's misfortune. That's asking for a karmatic bite in the butt. Be careful with regards to being happy over this one! It's ok to be happy about your ex having gained a few pounds but not about something that drastic! Nevertheless, good for you...I think.
  15. Itsok
    Hi Sib, Good for you! I'm so proud of you for ditching this man who was so rude and unloving that he yawned while you broke up with him! He is expecting you will change your mind...don't. If you ever stand up for yourself, do it now. He just demonstrated how little the relationship actually means to him by being so uncaring and just plain rude to you. He didn't seem upset at all...that says something. I hope you had a glass of wine with that pizza girl, and welcome back to the real world, where someone who is loving and kind has been searching for someone as wonderful as you. I completely agree with everyone here. Accept your friend's support, and spend time taking care of yourself now. Be sure to get his junk out of your place as soon as possible or he will be back and you'll get guilted into staying with him. PM if you need anything and we'll have a chat.
  16. Itsok
    Nope kitty, then he isn't the one for you...and if he is, he will be back.
  17. Itsok
    Sorry to hear you were hurt so badly, but glad to hear you had the last laugh But remember that bitterness achieves nothing. As long as you know you are further ahead and don't hate, good for you
  18. Itsok
    Sorry but he is emotionally blackmailing you, no questions. He has had a lot of time to find a job, and like you said, you have been held back on achieving what you want because of having to financially support him. Less than 1% of people who cry 'suicide' from a breakup actually attempt it, and he isn't serious, he's just using it as a way to manipulate you into letting him stay and be a blood sucker for the rest of his existence. I agree with RC that you should contact his mother and then get him out of your place. It's not your responsibility to look after him. He is a grown man and could look after himself if he wants to, it's just that he doesn't have to because you do it for him. Get him out of there. He is taking advantage of your good nature. The relationship certainly hasn't been offering you any perks: he's been depressed, unemployed and acting like a teenager living in his parent's house. It will do him and you a world of good to not have to depend on you anymore. Do this for yourself and move forward. The time is now.
  19. Itsok
    He sounds just plain rude to me, and like he is too immature to try to still be friends after you told him the truth. Most people don't get as upset as he has over you telling him you have feelings for him. In fact, if he was really such a good friend, he would have said he doesn't feel the same way but would like to remain friends. Honestly I would evaluate if you truly want this guy as a friend. Don't bother calling or messaging him anymore. He's too immature for you.
  20. Itsok
    You should be honest with your current gf, and if things are that bad between the two of you, just break if off instead of going after your ex for a feel.
  21. Itsok
    I offer my deepest sympathies to you Avman, and my prayers are with you.
  22. Itsok
    Honey we all regret things that we have or have not done from our pasts. However, there's only one way to learn and that's to make mistakes. Many of us regret dating people, being part of certain crowds, being involved in certain things and so on. However, there's really only one thing to do: Live each day to the fullest of your ability, then you can look forward to the future and look back with no regrets. If there are things in your past that you regret, realize you were a different person then, and that life changes us. Our experiences will always shape us, and there's no reason to regret a life experience. It's ok to think about and reflect on things. It's ok to vent Just don't let your past dictate your future.
  23. Itsok
    I'm so glad it turned out alright for you. Obviously he is an awesome man and person, and I hope it all turns out well.
  24. Itsok
    I agree, you probably just aren't ready for a commited relationship, and that is ok. Just be careful about contracting diseases if you have multiple sexual partners, that's all. Sorry to hear you had such negative responses elsewhere.
  25. Itsok
    I think this is very disrespectful to their marriage Hope. I am quite sure were the situations reversed that he wouldn't tolerate this. Not nice.
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