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Itsok

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Everything posted by Itsok

  1. Itsok
    I completely agree with friscodj. It seems she isn't interested. She should be jumping out of her skin to see you now that you're so close. Something else is going on...she has another guy, she doesn't want to meet and be disappointed, something like that. In any case you don't need to sit around and wait!
  2. Itsok
    Just because you are feeling stressed doesn't mean that your relationship should go on the back burner my friend. I agree with Scout that she is feeling that she's also at the end of her rope. It's also stressful for her when you are constantly working, and when you aren't working you don't want to spend any time with her anyhow. If I was her, I'd feel the same way. Certainly you can sit at home, not go on dates and save all your money...but if you don't show your girlfriend some love and attention in some other way, you'll soon have a valid reason to sit infront of the tv and computer all evening alone. Working constantly doesn't equal "yay I have a good provider" in a woman's mind. It equals "If I marry this guy he's never going to spend any time with me or our family because he's so overdevoted to his job."
  3. Itsok
    You are absolutely right about religion not needing to affect a relationship that much. Two people can have opposite beliefs about many things and still have a stable and happy relationship. She will soon realize that she has to accept the way you and God interact or lose you for good. Because that is all this is about: you also believe in God, but interact with Him differently. That is no reason to break up an otherwise good relationship. God bless you and may you be lead in the right direction!
  4. Itsok
    Hi hunny Honestly, I wouldn't ask him what he did for Valentine's Day. I would try to avoid him as much as possible. Eventually you'll want to do strict no contact so that you can heal. Right now when things are so wishy washy, it's hard to do that, but soon you'll probably need to. PM if you need to chat. Hugs!
  5. Itsok
    Do not call. They will only manipulate you into feeling guilty enough to take him back again. He is not your responsibility, and you have no reason to look after him. He is a grown man and can take care of himself. Good for you for getting out of this. Definitely call your family ASAP as you'll need their support to help you to stick to your guns! It's a long road ahead, but the scenery at the end is breathtaking. Hugs!
  6. Itsok
    Hunny, I'm sorry that you are struggling so much right now. As much as you are hurting, rest assured that you WILL feel better soon. It will be okay! You are experiencing what we all experience...the worries, questions and tears that go with the ending of a relationship. The nerves are unfortunately common as well, and realize that will last off and on for some time. You have no reason to worry that you are not doing well, or that you will feel this way forever. Remember that you are hurting very badly right now, and that you have every right to feel upset! Don't squish those feelings inside, let them out! All that pent up frustration, hurt and anger has to be let out or it will eat you up inside hunny. What you need to do is some self-care. Time to spend time looking after yourself and comforting yourself. This weekend should be for friends, spilling your guts, and treating yourself. Be sure to eat and drink as much as you can, as the less you do those things the worse your upsetness will feel. Also, try to let yourself rest a bit more than usual as likely you aren't sleeping so well. Time to plan out your weekend: time with friends, going to see a good fun movie, do a nice facial, get your hair done, do things to really try to feel better about yourself. You will be alright, the sun will shine again. We're here to listen! Big hugs!!! P.S. There are tons of good 'break up' communities online. Google and see. Join a few and have your feelings validated. You can even buddy up Hope that helps!
  7. Itsok
    I don't believe that relationships which have deteriorated should bother trying it again. Unless the old issues are resolved, the relationship will turn into a replica of it's former self, and the break up will happen all over again, leaving both parties sorry they ever bothered. For the most part, issues that weren't resolved will come up again...and obviously the two were poor problem solvers in the relationship or it would not have broken up to begin with. I think break ups are a way of saying, "I can't deal with this issue so let's not bother trying." If that's the case, no second chances. The relationship needs to be important enough that there is no 'giving up.' Some people just are not meant to be...they don't have similar interests, goals, or lives. These people should not try again at all. Those things will never be resolved. If a break up happens 'spur of the moment' because two people are fighting (there's no major major issues, just anger steps in) then I think the relationship could be worth trying again, provided the anger problems were dealt with in an appropriate manner. Overall, I give a thumbs down to trying again. I know that will spark some contraversy around here as well! Remember it's only my opinion!
  8. Itsok
    I wouldn't do it. If she has decided there's all these reasons she hates you, blames you for this and that, etc. what do you need to prove to her? Nothing. If you two get back together, nothing will have been resolved, her issues will continue, and you will be torn in two all over again. If you really have moved on, there's no reason for you to resume contact with her, especially after all the nonesense you've endured. If you resume contact with her now, it will bring up all sorts of emotions and take you on a whirlwind. If you've come this far, don't bother turning back now. She has decided that you did all these things and nothing will chang her mind.
  9. Itsok
    You are doing the right thing, trying to move forward anyway. I didn't like that she is frustrated that you don't feel you should 'wait for her.' She is the one who ended the relationship, and if you choose to move forward without her, all the power to you! I wonder if this relationship will ever work out for you two...it seems she really craves someone who is more religious than you are to share a relationship with God on a different level than you are willing or able to do. It is so important to her that you are religious, and she wants you to show her how religious you are... I don't believe that the best way to have someone become what you want is to break it off and hope they change and come back again, 'repaired.' When people break up, they do so for a reason, and if that situation can't be resolved, the relationship should not resume. Obviously this is the breaking point for the relationship, so if I were you, I would decide fairly soon if you are willing to rearrange your religious beliefs to match hers, and become more of 'what she wants.' If not (I assume this is a 'not' situation) then it's time to move on. Big hugs to you. Good luck!
  10. Itsok
    I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low. However, remember these feelings the next time that you are tempted by a man who is clearly not a good person for you to associate with. You don't need the guilt, the pressure or the suffering that is the 'afterglow' of such associations, so be sure to keep that in mind when assessing if someone is a good match for you. Hugs!
  11. Itsok
    I have a funny feeling he has been more than verbally abusive to you. He doesn't sound especially stable. Start writing it all down, and be sure that you are protected. He doesn't want you to have a DNA test because he doesn't want to pay for child support. You're 9 months pregnant, this isn't the time for major stress. He obviously is not a stable man, or a loving one for that matter. Is this really the way you want your child to grow up?
  12. Itsok
    Oh Emma, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Do his parents know? They should be informed right away. His family also needs to know and they need to be sure to support you financially and emotionally. We're here to listen Emma.
  13. Itsok
    I think it's fine to date more than one person at the same time, provided they BOTH know and are alright with you doing so. Always be honest. However, I find it kind of odd that your ex is still 'hanging onto' you as you put it. There's nothing wrong with you dating someone else, as he is obviously having a good time playing the field it seems. At this point my only concern for you would be making sure you aren't putting too much emotional investment in your ex, as he sounds as though he is just in the relationship to get what he can out of each. Hope that makes sense, and remember, ultimately the decision is in your hands.
  14. Itsok
    Barb I'm so happy for you, and so proud of you! It's so lovely to see your progress! It certainly won't be all peaches and cream for the first while, but things WILL get better. Moving to be closer to your family is an excellent idea. You want your children to grow up around a loving support group to help them through the feelings they are experiencing and that you all will experience. Barb, I'm speechless. You have made incredible progress and I commend you with all my heart. Hugs! Itsok
  15. Itsok
    Yes, you were in an abusive relationship. Good for you for getting out of it. Now be sure to stay out of it. He sounds completely unstable and dangerous! Don't get sucked in again!
  16. Itsok
    He beat you infront of his family and they are making you feel guilty about it? Do you really want to be part of a sick, twisted family like that? Absolutely not. There's no reason for you to live in terror and there's no reason to have the feeling of lonliness in your soul at all times. You don't need him, you don't need this kind of life. You are a stay at home person...you can get a job. What you need to do is this: 1. Get a restraining order and fast before he returns. 2. Phone a woman's shelter/abuse hotline and let them help you find a job and counseling. Do this ASAP. There's no reason for you to feel that you can't get a job. 3. Understand that what you are feeling is completely normal and it will pass. Things will be hard for a while but soon you'll be on the right track again. You CAN do it!
  17. Itsok
    Sorry buddy, women can be abusive to their men too. And she definitely is to you. End this relationship and get out of it. She isn't right upstairs, and she won't be. The promises of 'never again' are just part of the cycle of abuse. I'm sorry but I think you should end the relationship right away. I guarantee this will be a problem that comes back over and over again. click on 'articles' then "identifying losers in relationships."
  18. Itsok
    If you've been fighting and things haven't been going well, it's natural to feel like you aren't as loving to someone. It should pass but if it doesn't when things settle down, it's time to think things through.
  19. Itsok
    Krissy, be careful. You recently got out of a bad relationship did you not? I have a small memory of you being in a relationship where you were also paying his way for everything, right? Or is this the same abusive guy? Sounds like you are getting into the same boat again, or that you haven't gotten out! Never put your life on hold for someone else. They have to support themselves and you, yourself. Unless you are married, there's no reason to compromise your future for him.
  20. Itsok
    If you adore the new girl so much, pursue her. It sounds like the only reason you are thinking of getting back with your ex is because she provides more 'stability' ...if that's the only reason, it's a pretty crummy reason to rekindle the relationship. Certainly the younger girl may move away, but who knows what will happen from now until she graduates? How do you know she won't want to stay, or move to a place where you'd like to go as well? Overall it comes down to how you feel about your ex. Regardless of where your new girl will be, if you feel more for her, you should be dating her.
  21. Itsok
    If you want to change and rekindle things with your new girl, break it off with the other one! You crave the drama because it's new and exciting to you. It's a new relationship: that wears off in time, just like it did for your girlfriend. In reality, you aren't being very fair to your current girlfriend and if you don't think you can restrain yourself from straying, it's time to end it and let her find someone who will be true to her. Unfortunately, relationships become 'routine' and then you have to learn how to spice things up a bit so the attraction returns, it's no reason to cheat. Sorry I'm not much help, but overall, if you don't love your current girlfriend, break it off.
  22. Itsok
    Yet another reason to get the heck out of this one. If you are worried she'll freak out and get violent, tell her in a public setting. Sounds rude, but it will work rather than have her lose her cool and hit you or something like that.
  23. Itsok
    That killed me!!! LOL
  24. Itsok
    You did the right thing phoning and that manager handled it very poorly. All they had to do was say they were sorry and that they would ensure their staff was made aware of the situation. Rude.
  25. Itsok
    I think most people are just miserable overall, and why? A lot of them live really happy, fulfilling lives...the monotony that many dream of.
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