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About Me

  1. Hi everybody....So I'm currently in a very strict COVID lockdown and as I feared I started to get heavy on drinking the bottles of wine. I feel really ashamed because I was in this Zoom SMART Recovery meeting two days ago and it was a good meeting. The facilitator was nice and the people were mostly older than myself but they said some very relatable things. In SMART Recovery you set week to week goals. My goal was not to drink alcohol for one week but pretty quickly I failed it. I drank a bottle of wine last night and also drinking one now. I do get help for my drinking the last 14 years
  2. This is going to be a long post so thank you in advance for reading it. My wifes ex has always been somewhere in the shadows. They did talk, I was always afraid this would happen. I was looking at old photos to make look nice for valentine's day, i saw that around 6 years ago, she started liking her exs posts. At the time she told me the truth, she had seen him, she said she felt i was distant. I was not in my right mind as it happened while I was having a mental break down. I was hurt, i felt that at the moment i needed her the most, she went to him, but a year later she t
  3. Something I haven't written about here is that I've been an alcoholic since I was a teenager (I'm 36). Alcoholism runs in my family. My Mum's brother and Dad's father were alcoholics all their life. However I wasn't close to them at all and hardly knew them. My Dad literally never drank because he resented his father's drinking. My Mum hated her brother for his drinking and drinks very rarely and minimally. I started drinking as a teenager because I guess it's a big part of young people's culture here in Australia. Straight away I seemed to have an addiction to it (maybe genetic) and it's
  4. I've always known I had issues with things like depression and anxiety, but after turning 25 recently it hit me how dysfunctional I am in general and I'm not sure what the best steps are to take to get help. I grew up with an alcoholic narcissist mother (father wasn't there much) and she sent me away to a wilderness and boarding school program at age 16. After getting out at age 18 I didn't know how to adjust back to the real world and started smoking weed all day every day. I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now be
  5. The abusive alcoholic Its been a while since i’ve been here but i need help. Im suffering as the guy i’ve been with for a year has been awful to me. Im embarrassed and ashamed. He is a functioning narcissistic alcoholic who refuses to acknowledge it. He says he drinks to relax. Well large bottles of straight liquor a day to me is not relaxing as one glass of wine is. He”s an angry drunk too. He refuses to spend time with me now, has poor hygiene won’t tend to his foot odor, won’t brush his teeth, spends only about 2 minutes in shower so he never really smells good, has verbally abused me
  6. We talk here and there, nothing major, a text convo or phone call every month or so. Talked to her last time off, I knew she had gone to rehab, a while back. She went to a live in rehab center down in Fl for her alcoholism, got sober on November 26,2018 and has remained so ever scince. I’m as proud of her as I can be. Just wish it would’ve happened while we were together, if so we may have had a different ending.
  7. Hi all, So a couple weeks ago my ex basically just got her uni friend (a guy) to pick her up and not seen her since. She lost her licence to drink driving. It was a very toxic/coercive control relationship from her. Insulting me, what I wore, saying I have no friends, my family hate me. Would split with me briefly and one time tell me she slept with someone and how he ed her real good. That hurt so bad. She's an alcoholic but doesn't think she is, has depression and bad anxiety. Craves attention from guys. Needs so much love due to not a great childhood. Would threaten to kill herself. A
  8. My girlfriend and I have dated for about two years. When we started dating I was aware that she enjoyed drinking alot of wine. During the past year she has increased her drinking. She drinks about a box of wine every afternoon now. She has started to let her hygiene go. She doesn't shower everyday. She goes to sleep real early sometimes. I assume because she is too drunk to stay awake. She has also started neglecting parental duties to her 5 year old. The child doesn't show her any respect and she doesn't discipline the child. Some nights she will have a "movie night" in bed so that she can dr
  9. This is a quote I came accross online today about guys stuck in the dreaded friend zone. "A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison f
  10. About 6 months ago, my [now ex] girlfriend and I broke up. What precipitated it is that she destroyed my ability to trust her due to lying to me more than a dozen times and a few things that just didn't add up. One of them, for example, was that she lost custody of her son to her ex and could only visit him with her ex and his mother present. She claimed her ex got away with telling a bunch of lies in court while having been an abusive alcoholic and drug addict when they were together. I'm pretty sure that the courts wouldn't make a decision in her ex's favor based on unsubstantiated lies, esp
  11. I really need advice on this one. I began dating this man who is an absolute sweetheart: charming, funny, sweet, nuturing, the whole nine yards. My concern is his drinking. Evertime we go out it seems like he has to have a drink. Just recently, we were at my house and it was 2pm and he wanted a glass of wine! He noticed that I didn't like it and only poured himself a little more than a swallow. Later that evening we went to a play and he ordered a beer. Other examples include a dinner I made for him and my roommates. He brought the wine and downed two glasses like it was water. We we
  12. He's 33, I'm 24. Been talking to a guy for about a month now on Bumble, we've been talking almost every day. He mentioned that he's on the app looking for a relationship. All the good signs, get along, have good chats etcetera. Bear with me while I talk about dates so it's clearer. On the 4th of this month, I replied to him about something, he responded and I had a very busy week/weekend so I didn't reply to him until the 9th, so 5 days later. He didn't ask a question, it was just a statement. He then replied the next day at a specific time, I replied an hour later and then he didn't reply unt
  13. So, this is my first thread. I came here because I have no idea what to do. I drank WAY too much to begin with. I can see now that it started 10 years ago, but really kicked in a little over 3 years ago. Going through a bruttal divorce, I started drinking to kill pain. I ended up dating a woman who has been there for me time and time again, but exactly like shestosmart's ex alchoholic, i was never there for her. Now I don't drink. It is a day to day battle, but I find myself a better father, and just better off all around. But i miss my ex girlfriend. I have hurt her so many times. I must have
  14. I feel so lost and alone right now. I haven't drank since she broke up with me and i've been to an AA meeting. At first she just needed some time alone but suddenly made the decision to end it completely instead. It's been a harsh realisation for me that i've lost someone i love so much because of my actions and only my actions. None of the blame can go to her because she was always there waiting for me but she couldn't wait any longer. We were engaged and no one ever thought we would break up, we were seen as a sort of "power couple" around here. Over the last 12 months i slowly dug mysel
  15. So last time I was off, I went to my ol lady’s house for a few days. Where she proceeded to get drunk every night. Not the biggest deal I know she’s a functioning alcoholic nothing new there just a little aggravating talking in circles. One day I was helping her get caught up on washing, went to put some clothes up for her and found a journal type thing she had been keeping for years for her son to give him on graduation. The last entry was written in June of last year, it said, I’m thinking about getting married just to have someone to help us out. Idk maybe I’m reading too much in to
  16. So this may be a crazy long story so I'll try my best to keep it short. My bfs mom was abusive to him when he was young and got him hooked on drugs. Now she is constantly around telling him his new habit(drinking) is okay. (Not saying the drugs aren't a problem but the alcohol is wrecking his life and everyones around him) I try over and over again to convince him to stop because from the time he wakes up til the time he falls asleep he is drunk. He started doing this months ago and it's getting worse and worse. He's abusive when he drinks. His mother lives with us and she sees this and still
  17. I am trying to build a deeper more fulfilling relationship with my husband who I love so much. He cares for me and loves me but he doesn't always show it. He isn't engaged with me and the kids when he is with us. When he does do things with us, he chooses what we do and how we do it. It has to be something that interests him or he doesn't participate. I feel like I get more compliments from strangers than him. He misunderstands me a lot and is rarely supportive of things important to me. He becomes resentful of those things. He rejects my proposals to do things alone without the kids.
  18. I’m not sure if my husband would be considered an alcoholic or not. He goes short period of time without drinking but for the most part he comes home many nights after I am already asleep and when i wake up in the morning I can literally smell the alcohol coming out of his pores. When we are at an event he drinks like a fish. His alcohol tolerance is incredibly high. He drinks in the middle of the week. I’m okay with an occasional drink or two on weekends or special occasions but I think multiple nights a week is too much. This also makes me not want to start a family with him and makes me oft
  19. I'm very nervous about returning to school in brick and mortar reason for a number of reasons. I'm 38 years old I'm recently married School is 3.5 hours away from home, I will be in the dorms From experiences I have diagnosed myself with alcoholism and I have been sober for over a year and a half I am planning on only being on school premises 3-5 nights per week to go to class and labs and come home on weekends. But, being so far north and starting school in January, I do expect there will be snow storms which may postpone leaving or keep me there through weekends. I am trying to get
  20. My husband saw the special on NBC about a pill to help control drinking called Naltrexone and The Sinclair Method. He admits to being a high functioning alcoholic and wants to try this to cut back. Does anyone have any personal experience with this?
  21. My ex wife (43) and I (44) divorced in 2013. We have two kids (boy 18 and girl 12) who live primarily with me but stay with their mother every other weekend. A few weeks ago she started dating a man I know, who is very handsome, has a HUGE heart and is really funny. He’d be a great pick, except he’s a blackout drinker who commonly does the things alcoholics do such as pass out outside, go to jail, lose control of his bowels (yes, it’s really that severe,) etc. Although I don’t really understand her choice of this guy as somebody to date (they started going out a few weeks ago) it’s tru
  22. Hi everyone, I have had a rough upbringing with an alcoholic mother and very separated family. I'm over that but it feels worth mentioning before I start this, as I may have some trust/commitment issues towards women. I've been seeing this girl for awhile now, not long at all really.. 3 months. I'm working very long hours at work, running my own company, working on portfolio, studying for a course etc.. I have a very busy life, I've never been so busy. I enjoy it all, except the job - it's just an in between. I broke up with her today and for the first time in my life I was the one
  23. I recently picked something up again with a guy I had a very strong connection/history with 2 years ago (it was a 6 month thing). We had been dating for the last month and it was all going great. However, although he always had some problem drinking, this time around I realised that this was far more serious than it was years prior. I am not an alcoholic myself (social drinker) and from this relationshiop, I've only recently realised that because my father was an alcoholic, I am drawn to wanting to help men like him and wanting their care and acceptance. We had quite a history where he was qui
  24. I had a terrific friend in college that was always something of an alcoholic, even when we were that young. He's a really great guy - smart, funny, clever, handsome - but a terrific drunk with a terrifying urge for alcohol. I haven't seen him in person since a friend's wedding in 2002. We ended up sleeping together (I was drunk, too). We called each other occasionally because we remained friends. Never any romance between us - always just a great friendship with one silly mistake. Flash forward to last year. He began calling me ALL THE TIME. I was involved in a serious relationship, so
  25. So as I am nearing 40 and am single, my options are growing increasingly limited. My main problem is that I have a lot going for me: I am attractive, fit, highly educated, earn a 6 figure salary, own my home, have no baggage in terms of kids/ ex husbands and no addictions. I have a lot of disposable income and like to travel several times a year. I have been trying to find someone who will be my equal but guys that are single in similar age range are basically messes. Either they are going through nasty divorces and broke, or they are recovering alcoholics or are permanently unemployed or look
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