this is my second marriage and its abusive in every way, I sit here now with a black eye, and yet I feel ashamed to admit I miss him. How can I feel I love this man when everything he does is abusive to me. I use to be a strong black female with everything positive going on in my life, since I have met and married this man I have lost everything, I have achieved in my life, my beautiful home, my cars, my zest for life, my childrens respect, I have nothing now, but tears and feelings of total lonelyness. I know I have to leave him, he beat me in front of his family and now they're all upset with me for calling the police and the ambulance. They are making me feel quilty. I wonder why and it hurts so much. He says hes sorry yet he made no attempt to find out how I am doing. the police has a warrant out for his arrest, he ran when I called them. So far they have not caught him, He hasn't called or been home since this has happened its now 4 days. All his clothes are here and the police tell me I cannot throw them out of the house. I know he needs his clothes yet he is making no attempt to get them. I know I have a big mouth at times yet is this any reason for me to get hurt the way I am. I am a stay at home wife and have no income but his, I don't know how I am going to keep my phone, lights or any food in my home and this scares me silly. Yet I know he will hurt me again, this is only the beginning. Then why am I missing him and wanting to know we can make it. Valentines day is our annivarsary and its coming up soon, What do i do? why do I feel so alone and stupid, what do I do? I am tired I am not a dumb woman, but right now I feel like the whole world is against me for just saying I am tired of lying about my abuse. Help
