Itsok

Dear, if that's the case, I think he probably is seeing someone else. I have issues with men who do online dating, because many learn that they can have numerous relationships with lots of women who have no idea about one another. It sounds to me like he has at least one other woman on the side.

Personally I'm disgusted with your boyfriend. Sorry to say but I interpret his comment regarding you with other men as "I want to have sex with other women before I settle with you." I have real issues with what he has said to you, talk about being rude and unfeeling! I'm so sorry he said that to you! In my mind, I would really think through if this is the relationship for you. How old are you? If you are young, he's just too immature to be blunt, and you two probably won't date forever anyway, so if you like the relationship and are prepared to stay with him until he finds someone else he's interested in dating, that's fine. If you are older, I think that he's being honest, but I really would think about if this relationship is worth continuing. It's obvious he is thinking about going out and trying some new things, being with other people, and making some changes in his life. So let's say I'm completely wrong and everything I've said isn't true. 2 years from now, he comes to you and says, "dear, I want to date other people before I settle with you." Would you really be able to accept that? I know I sure as **** wouldn't! So he dates someone for 6 months, you wait around completely crushed and then he comes back...um, what? Is that who you want to marry? Mr. "Well she wasn't what I hoped so you're good enough." Ouchers!!! Goodness love, logic has some uses, and this scenario is one of them. I think you should read a book I have read, called "He's just not that into you." See if this guy matches with any of the descriptions, and if he does, seriously consider if this is who you want to be with forever. If you really love him, and really enjoy your relationship, that's fine, stay. But remember, he doesn't seem as commited as you, and that's not good. Good luck dear, remember, this is only my opinion.

Dear be very careful with this guy, he is a creep as far as I'm concerned. When there is distance like that between you, normally the relationship gets better because you miss one another. Personally I think he sounds manipulative. I dated someone like this for many years and eventually it turned very abusive. I'd run if I were you, with your head still intact.

Personally I think that's way too many for your age already. Don't give sex so early in a relationship because if you give everything at once, there's nothing to 'look forward to,' if you know what I mean. You should be spending more time doing date type things, like going to the movies, out for coffee, etc. You don't need to have sex with every man you date, you're still really young! I'm 26 and have had 5 partners because I refuse to be in any sort of fling. I will only have sex with someone I have long term relationships with. When you have that sort of standard, you won't attract men who are only in it for the sex.

I completely agree. Marriage isn't something to be taken lightly. Everyone gets married, thinking it's romantic and the thing to do. 1. Can you and your lover communicate through issues that are bothering you, or do things swing out of control and you have constant arguments and blow ups over trivial things? 2. Do you match personality wise, or are you complete opposites? 3. Do you have similar activities? 4. Do you love to talk to one another? 5. Are you first and foremost, good friends? I think these things should be considered before taking the plunge, but also when you are dating someone. If you can't get along with the person you love, you might be better off with someone else.

Sweetie, good luck to you. Of course you will miss him for the first while, but it looks like you are right to get out of this. He was starting to show some frightening tendencies that aren't smart to ignore. The whole relationship sounds frighteningly familiar to an abusive one I was in for a long time. First things are so amazing, the most romantic and loving relationship ever, then slowly, he has nothing to give, blames you for everything, manipulates you...this was getting abusive. Right now it's not easy, but when your head clears in a while, you will have a real eye opener. HUGS!

Darling, I've been watching your posts for a long time now. Leave him. I did mine and it was the best thing I ever did. Never talk to him again, move forward, keep your head held high. HUGS!

I just wanted to say that I'm truly sorry that this happened to you. But don't worry, everything happens for a reason. I would enforce strict NC though, it's not good for you to be there on the side like that. Things will get out of hand and it won't be good. Hugs, Itsok

Sorry darling, I wouldn't give the old guy the time of day. My ex pulled this once too, where he was all sorry and promised he would get married to me and everything. We got back together, and I stayed another 2 years waiting. Of course, he was abusive, but still. If a man hasn't asked you to marry him and says he is commitment phobic, that means they won't marry you. Every man who says he is commitment phobic will one day be married to someone else. Also, you weren't happy, and that much of an age gap is not healthy anyway. Go with the new. If it was meant to be with the old guy, it would have been right the first time.

It's not worth the effort with someone who is going to be abusive. Leave with your head still intact.