Itsok

She wasn't disrupting your relationship anymore, so why did you contact her? Being drunk can't be a continual excuse. I think the guilt will eat at you enough that eventually you will tell your current girlfriend. If you don't, this may get back to her anyway and by that time the story will be twisted enough that she will hear that the two of you did have sex. Then it will be over for you and she won't hear you out. I suggest thinking this through before just brushing it off and promising yourself you won't do it again. If your girlfriend finds out from anyone but you, the relationship is finished regardless, so keeping it secret may not be the best idea ](*,) If you tell her the truth, maybe she will hear you out. Of course your relationship will need some fixing but there's obviously something that needs repair if you contacting your ex, drunk or not. You know your girlfriend well enough to predict her reaction, so take that into consideration. You've thrown your ex a rope, of course she's going to grab it and keep contacting you. Tell her you were drunk and by the way, she should have realized that and ignored your advances. She knows you have a girlfriend and should be honorable enough to tell you politely to get lost. Tell her that you will not be contacting her again and that she should do the same, then keep it that way. Sorry I don't have more constructive advice

Why not give your pets to a friend or family member who you live close to? That way the kids will still have their pets and you won't have to tell them they are being given to strangers.

I don't think you are being out of line actually, but it seems that he enjoys living the bachelor life and may not quit once you have the baby. I think you both expect different things out of a relationship, and that is something that should be addressed pronto considering you are supposed to have a child together. You should have a talk about this now before the baby comes. If you moved to that town to be with him, how far away is your support system? Family, friends, etc? If he can't shape up and spend enough time with you to take care of a child, you might be better off moving someplace where you know you will be supported. Good luck!

Simply put: you have asked him to stop looking at porn and he didn't, you've broken up over trust issues before, and he has broken another promise to you. This relationship isn't important enough to him to not risk losing. Don't tolerate this behavior. I know many women who have, and can honestly say that they are absolutely taken advantage of by these men. He's cheating in online form and obviously has no guilt about it either. My advice: You have broken up with him before over trust issues, it appears you may have to do it again. If he is proving over and over that he can't be trusted, he isn't worth another moment of your life. If you ask him to stop, he won't. He has proven that. If it is this important to you that he not do this and he PROMISED he wouldn't, I wouldn't trust him with anymore of my time. Keep your self-respect and tell him you're through. He's wasting your time when you could be looking for someone who will be good to you. ](*,) Fool you once, shame on them, fool you twice, shame on you.

Be careful with that. If you don't avoid each other for a while at least, you'll start to have confused feelings about everything. Honestly, even if you don't speak for about a week it will round things out a bit. If you end up visiting more than that, you're going to have lustful feelings and encounters, which will definitely screw up your friendship plans, guaranteed. Things will get messy, you'll both get angry, and that will be it. Things will end, and you'll never even be friends. Good luck!

Be more choosy about the people you are dating. You are obviously attracting these men repeatedly...why is that? It's something you should look within yourself about as well, not just blame the men for. Just my 2 cents...

Completely agree. It's about how you see yourself. Start doing a simple diet and continue with your exercise program. You didn't gain that weight overnight, you won't lose it overnight either. It is something to work towards, not something to hate about yourself. Keep working at it and stick to a simple diet.

Get to the doctor even emergency room. This sucks, but they may have to freeze it, clean it and stitch it if it is that deep.

Hey you know what? Go out and reconnect with some old friends. Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean that you can't have pals. Certainly you've probably spent too much time together...you knew she was leaving for Hong Kong for goodness sakes. You can't make friends in college huh: join a group, go to an activity, and start doing things on a frequent basis and low and behold, you'll see some familiar people at all your activities. It is ok bud

This sounds silly, but hear me out. It is alright. All people have some serious doubts about their mates at one point or another. How long have things been going 'really well' in your relationships? A few weeks, months, etc? You will laugh, but the times you feel that things are going bad are probably the times that things are going exceptionally good. Why? Because you don't feel that 'drive' to prove yourself, you don't feel rejected, you don't feel that there is anything to fight for. In short, you are probably spending too much time together and things have been going too darn good. Silly but completely true. *insert laugh or weird face here* I'm completely serious. I know women always say they want someone who is perfect, who they never fight with, with whom no problems ever arise...that isn't hard to maintain. Thus boredom sets in, and the routine of life makes you detach your strong emotions from one another. I bet if your fiance/boyfriend came to you today and said he didn't love you anymore, you would completely panic, all your doubt would be gone, and you would profess your undying love. Am I right? It's ok to feel this way. It's ok to question things. There's no reason to feel guilty or upset, or like you are doing something wrong. Also Serendipity, you are probably feeling resentment, which does put a damper on your feelings as well. You "haven't felt the same way about him... this last week, when he kisses me and hugs me, I don't feel the same affection for him that I used to.." You see? Don't worry sweetie, you are probably feeling a bit resentful, and are reading a lot into things. It has only been one week, and low and behold, you didn't feel this way until he didn't acknowledge your anniversary. Resentment puts a damper on loving feelings. I'm not saying brush all your feelings under the table. I'm saying that it's probably nothing and most couples go through times where they start to doubt things. That's completely normal and you aren't about to jump up and run for the hills are you? It's only been one week since you've felt this way. My advice: Go out with your friends a few times this week, go do some things minus the finance. Spend some time with yourself and I can almost guarantee that things will be alright for both of you. Also, realize you are hurt that he went out and didn't really celebrate your anniversary! You feel numb and confused and worry that you aren't important enough to him. Tell him that it was more important to you than you thought, and you are hurt. It will be ok I really believe it will be ok for you Have you ever read, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." I really believe that book and it says what I am saying now. It's true. Stupid and true, guaranteed.

I've gotten back together with ex's in the past and I can honestly say that for the most part, people who break up should stay broken up. There's a reason you broke up in the first place, and it wasn't being resolved. If you get back together, there has to be a complete overhaul in communication, in your connection together, in your ways of relating, etc. Most relationships that have broken up have never been serious or mature enough to withstand that. I've gotten back together with probably about 3 ex's and they are just that: ex's. It was all a waste of time to get back with someone when the relationship disolved and wasn't worth that extra time or effort. Since that, I can say that I don't believe in second chances. If you break up once, that's it. There's not a reason to try again, unless you broke up because one person moved away or something like that. If there were issued that made you break up and they weren't dealt with, they will resurface again, and the hard feelings you were dealing with all come up again, no matter how much apologizing, etc there is. One person at least always feels abandoned, hurt and confused about why you broke up in the first place. So there's my opinion. Sorry it wasn't a very positive one!

Both of these people are so immature you are wasting your time talking to them. Oh brother. You are just too nice for your own good. Also, it's obvious she is too nervous to see you, and considering you wouldn't see her that often since she is so far away anyhow, don't waste your time. Find someone closer and someone who is as mentally mature as you are.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who suffers with them. It makes me nuts! The only thing that works somewhat is ibuprophen, but only dulls the pain enough that I don't commit suicide.

Hi guys, I have had the worst splitting headache for probably about 3 days now and I'm getting truly pissed already. I go to bed with it, and wake up with it. I've taken tylenol, and it hardly makes a dent. I have my period in about 5 days, so I'm quite sure it's hormonal but enough already! It's hurting so much that I feel nauseated at times. Anyone else have menstrual headaches? What do you find works? Anyone tried PMS medications? Lemme know...I'm hurtin!!! ](*,) Itsok

Is there a reason you are still with this guy? He lies to you constantly, goes on porn sites even though you ask him not to, and belittles you in any way he can, to the point of saying that now he will leave things around to piss you off? I am so mad for you I could go to your place and punch the guy. Seriously, if you don't agree with his porn habit and he is continuing to do it anyway, he really has no intention of stopping. Do you really want to live with that forever? If it's not okay with you, he should be addressing that. In a good relationship, you could discuss these things and the issue would be resolved instead of ignored. Don't ignore your thoughts and worries.

You are not being silly. In my mind, that's a red flag. He drinks a few times a week and gets kind of aggressive when you are intimate. In my mind that points to two things: 1. He has a mild problem with alcohol 2. He has aggressive tendencies He shunned your concern with a "you turn me on and I was drunk" response to shield himself instead of taking any sort of blame and apologizing big time. In my mind, the second would be a typical response in a fairly new relationship. I would get out of this one. It's early on in the relationship, and if already you are having red flags and warning signs, the time is fresh to get out before any commitments are made. In the start of a relationship, each of you should be on your best behavior, trying not to upset the other in any way. He isn't trying very hard, and isn't concerned about how his advances made you feel. Personally I'd call it quits before you get tangled into him.

I don't know if getting her pregnant is a good idea at the moment. Ok, let's say that against the odds, you two are awesome and will do great as parents. Fine. Now there's still the other guy. She is still getting beaten up, etc. Don't you think you should be responsible for helping her get through that before trying to make her a mother? If you really love her so much, help her approach the authorities and get a restraining order from this guy and/or press charges for his continual assaults on her. THEN worry about your relationship.

Do your parents know what is going on? Have you told them all that has happened? If they knew, I'm sure they would temporarily allow you to have your pets at their home with them. I agree, phone a woman's shelter and see what they say. They might have better advice and more concrete solutions to your problem. Legally you can't rent an apartment because you have bad credit? I've actually never heard that before. I thought if you can put down the money, it's yours. Are you unable to sign yourself up 'co lease' if you know what I mean? Couldn't I for example rent the apartment in my name and add you on the lease? You mentioned before that you wanted your bf to add you on...that must be viable at least. I bet you could get a roomie and things would be alright, but phone the shelter and ask lots of questions and advice about your situation. Also, tell them about your credit problem. I bet that they know a place, or could 'recommend' you to an apartment complex for your own safety. Give it a whirl.

Problem solving is in order here. If you seriously want out, you will find a way, you will not make excuses, and you will find a way to do it. Start looking for an apartment of your own, or look in the paper for people looking for room mates. Or ask one of your friends to consider moving into a two bedroom somewhere, or renting a house together if you have that many animals. There's nothing saying you must STAY with your parents forever. You could crash on the couch for two weeks while looking for another place. Don't keep telling yourself that there's no way out. It seems your only obstacle is really yourself. You have friends and family to turn to. You could ask someone to look after your animals for a few weeks while you sort things out, etc. The possibilities are endless. There are abused women who leave and live in shelters because they have no money, no job, 3 small kids, and a psycho after them. If they can get out, you can too.

You did nothing wrong. You weren't happy, she wasn't happy either right? Things weren't going well for some time, and you had been trying to leave for how long. You were being manipulated into staying and that's never right. Don't blame yourself for her unhappiness. We can't please everyone, but we can try our best to be good to ourselves and to others when we can. It will be alright

Also, the longer you stay, the less strength you will have. You have to build up every ounce of courage and strength within you and start preparing to get the heck out of this mess! Sure it won't be easy! It will be hard! Getting out of this will be a big breath of fresh air for you if you'll go through with it. You can do it!

Careful planning is necessary to get out of these situations, and determination. You have to realize that what is happening is a continuous cycle, and that is all it is. Now that you are contemplating leaving, he will sense that and be the most loving and caring he has been in months. Abusers are very manipulative and many are just plain con artists. They want to keep you in this cycle because it is of benefit for them. Abusers don't love, they only cling to the familiar, and to their victims. Everyone is absolutely right that you must leave when he isn't home. Is your family in the same city/town as you are? Do you have a friend to turn to? What you should do is slowly pack up things that won't be noticed. If he does notice that some things are missing, say that you were cleaning and threw out some old junk of yours, but never mention anything unless he specifically asks. Be sure to tell your friends/parents when you are planning on escaping/moving out. You must have a safe place to go, and you must be able to leave very quickly. For example, when you know he is going out with the guys for a few hours, you must be prepared to phone your friend and say "Let's move!" and get them to help you pack up what you want/need and get out. Expect you'll lose some physical possessions in this process. That is a very small price to pay for emotional freedom. You say you have an emotional connection to him. Honey, it's only the abuser/victim connection. Once you are away from him, you'll feel confused at first but clarity of mind will come very soon. And also, it's like getting out of a normal relationship as well. You have to learn to let go of the relationship and move on, it's as simple as that. You have to make the decision that this is so unhealthy that it isn't worth staying, and not worth destroying yourself for. No one can tell you what to do. You have to make the decision yourself. I think you already have, but are asking advice on how to do it. You CAN get out if you plan carefully and maintain STRICT NO CONTACT once you do escape.

go to 'articles' then click on 'identifying losers in relationships.' It's a long read, and the biggest wake up call of your life. I know you think you can't escape because of a variety of reasons. I want to tell you this: the time to act is now. Start planning your departure. Start saving up some extra cash from working, tell your friends and family what has happened/is happening and plan a time to get out. When you leave, remember that he will suddenly become a completely different person. He will act like you were when you first started dating, he will profess his undying love and tell you how he is going to change. Most women leave abusers up to 7 times before leaving completely. That's how many times you believe the bull promises. Don't believe it. Nothing you do/don't do, the way you act/don't act, no matter who you are or are not, he will ALWAYS be this way to you and to anyone else he dates, period. Read that article and start planning your new year. PEACE!

Still nothing with regards to PMing you. It says you have it disabled.

Of course it's abuse darling, period. Let me PM you. You have your PM disabled.