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justsweetgirl

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  1. justsweetgirl
    My girlfriend of three years recently moved out of state. She felt she had become burned out emotionally and physically. She wanted a change. So, she said adios to me and my two young daughters who have become quite attached to her, to say the least. She felt this would help her, and, in turn, help us. She said she loves me and will look for a job and send money to help with her portion of the bills. I believe she will. However, the bigger picture for me is this: We were abandoned, no? Our feelings were not taken into consideration. We were not consulted. She decided to go, and go she did. On the brand new motorcycle I am paying for. Oh, yeah, for the past eighteen months she has not been interested in sex. But when I suggested seeing other people, she said that was cheating. I am very confused. I am going through the twelve stages of grief seemingly daily; "I forgive her, she's doing her best" one minute to "I'm thinking of putting her things by the curb" the next. I am all over the place emotionally. I need some advice. Am I overreacting? I don't particularly like long distance relationships and she knows this. Her moving out does not seem like a step forward. Of course, the long and short of it is she thinks I should consider moving away from my 8 and 9 year old and move in with her. She thinks with phone calls and emails and a web cam, it wouldn't be so bad. For who??? Maybe she's not the person I thought she was. Part of me thinks I should just let her go. This was my first real adult, mature relationship. A lot of issues were worked on in three years. I feel I have grown tremendously as a person, a mother, and a partner. I have a lot to thank her for. I have been extremely understanding, patient and supportive. But I think it's time I stopped. I think maybe me and my needs and the needs of my family got lost somewhere in the process. What do you think?
  2. justsweetgirl
    I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years. During the last year,however, she has lost her sex drive completely. She says it's not me, it's the stress of her job. As she comes home from work every single day, I know she is not seeing anyone else. Our communication is great, we laugh, take day trips, rent movies, cuddle, everything...but sex. She tells me life is about more than sex. But now that I am not having any, it has become quite important. I have an opportunity to see my ex very soon. She is still interested in me. I know she wouldn't be opposed to having sex, and we were once well suited for eachother sexually. Only sexually. I love my girlfriend very much and have never strayed. I do not want to hurt her. I don't want to have a sexless relationship nor do I want to lose everything else we have together by breaking up. PLEASE HELP
  3. justsweetgirl
    Speaking from the perspective of someone who remained friends with an ex while in a current relationship, RUN. It hurt all three of us. If your gf went back to her ex after continuing to speak to him while dating you, then she wanted more than friendship with him all along. She never really gave you a chance. There were three of you in that relationship. You were not respected. To speak to her now, while she is with him, is to invite this kind of chaos back into your life. It will not work. It will not win her back. She may return temporarily, but continue to speak with her ex. Do you want to go through this again? End the drama. Let her go. Someone else will want you and only you. Good luck.
  4. justsweetgirl
    Why, exactly, do you love him? He hates religion, children and life in general. And you love all three. Forget about whether he proposes or not, you have larger issues here. Like compatability. I think feeling rejected because he doesn't want to marry has made you want that proposal more than anything on earth. It has blinded you to some very serious concerns regarding your future as a couple. Forget about getting married and pretend, for a moment, that you already are. What is a typical day like for you? Joyous and connected? Or the opposite? Take a good, long look. Could you be happy childless? There are too many questions and not enough answers in your current situation.
  5. justsweetgirl
    I cannot believe the nerve of some people. Breaks up with you and then, months later, calls to ask for money??? He gave you your wake-up call. He did you a favor. You are not a doormat. You will find someone absolutely wonderful - when the time is right. Take some time to heal. Pamper yourself. Spend time with friends and family - people who love you for you, and not because they want something from you. I have sooo been there. Doesn't it feel good to take control of your life! Be proud of yourself. I hope others in similar situations will read and learn from your experience. Good luck.
  6. justsweetgirl
    She may be having a good day when she calls and makes plans to see you and then her depression hits and she recants. Dealing with depression is very difficult. It's no wonder this is a rollercoaster ride for you. Is she on medication? Good luck.
  7. justsweetgirl
    OceanEyes is right. Do not push. Nothing turns me off as fast as being pressured. Respect his wishes. What you want is not more important than what your boyfriend wants. Remember that. The way you deal with this whole wedding issue may determine the way you handle difficult situations as a couple in the future. Good luck.
  8. justsweetgirl
    If she dumped you because she doubts your ability to take care of her later on, this is a huge red flag. Relationships encounter many issues and problems. Despite your feelings for her, would she stand by you in the future? Or pull a disappearing act?
  9. justsweetgirl
    I wouldn't contact him. If he wanted to hear from you, he'd call. He made his feelings plain. It's time to move on.
  10. justsweetgirl
    Either she said she loved you and didn't mean it, or the thought of loving someone is terrifying to her and causes her to run. You've spent four months with her. What does your heart tell you?
  11. justsweetgirl
    I have read some of your posts and find them to be insightful and refreshing. Welcome.
  12. justsweetgirl
    I had a friend who always had a crisis - or the same crisis - whenever we spoke. I tried to be as supportive as possible, but I became drained after a few years. I tried changing the subject but eventually I had to stop taking her calls. I miss her, but not the drama. And I don't think she can separate the two.
  13. justsweetgirl
    It is too soon to be friends.
  14. justsweetgirl
    If the woman was talking to your husband's friend who happens to share his name and email account, why did your husband have her number and email among his receipts? Also, this doesn't explain the second woman's phone number and email address. If a man will cheat, he will think nothing of lying. I think you are being had.
  15. justsweetgirl
    What do the two of you argue about? I am trying to figure out if your personalities clash or what. If you usually can't stand to be within arm's reach of each other, and argue and stop speaking for a month at a time, these are not very positive signs. What is different now? And can it be sustained? I am glad you got invited to his party. But please don't get your hopes up too high, based on your history with him. Have fun.
  16. justsweetgirl
    You know, before my gf moved out of state to be with me, we often joked that we would be happy living in a grass hut so long as we were together. Well, we aren't laughing anymore. We are barely making ends meet and our relationship has suffered. Emotionally, physically, sexually, psychologically. We have forgotten why we made the sacrifices we made in the first place. We stopped making us the priority. Our stresses became number one. We started arguing all the time. We lost our way, but I believe it is not insurmountable. We are starting with small changes. That will eventually lead to bigger ones. You have to remember what made you fall in love in the first place. There are a million and one ways to say I love you without spending a lot of money. What hurt more than the lack of money, was our mutual lack of respect. You can be right, or you can be happy. It's your choice. I wish you the best.
  17. justsweetgirl
    Ok, if you can set a goal to wait two months before killing yourself, is there any way you can set a different goal??? I felt the same way during different times in my teen years. Somehow I survived them. And I am so grateful. I now have two beautiful and wonderful daughters, who would not be here had I taken my life during a depressed time in my youth. There is nothing you are feeling that others have not. You are not alone. I don't even know you and you bring me to tears. There is no way not to hurt those who love you by doing this. You will ruin multiple lives. People will blame themselves and their lives will cease to have meaning. Their pain will be unbearable. Is that what you want for your legacy? To have others feel the way you do right now? There is help out there. Hotlines, counseling. I was friends with someone when I was sixteen. Then we had a falling out over something stupid. She hanged herself because her parents would not let her date this guy she liked. It has been over two decades, and still I regret that I did not make peace with her before she died. Two decades. Please...
  18. justsweetgirl
    I wouldn't need to know why he said it. Saying it speaks volumes. I would be done with him. Period.
  19. justsweetgirl
    Either attempt a quick peck on the cheek and see his reaction, or ask. He's your bf and you love each other; shouldn't he be easy to talk to?
  20. justsweetgirl
    You can miss someone even though being together was less than ideal. Remember why you broke up so often. Was it because the two of you were not getting along, or do you have a habit of breaking up when things get uncomfortable? Examine your behavior during the relationship, and hers. Have you changed? Has she? Did she meet your needs? You have to ask yourself some hard questions.
  21. justsweetgirl
    She's been sick for a month? Is she okay? Sometimes, when one person stops being affectionate or attentive, it doesn't necessarily mean that person's interest has waned. It could be stress from school, job, family, friends. Yes, it is important to let your gf know how much she means to you. But you should also ask her why she is acting differently towards you. You cannot read her mind. The two of you need to communicate. Also, why is her not being nice to you acceptable because you say it's part of her personality?
  22. justsweetgirl
    Honestly, if he said he was fed up with you for wanting to get back together and broke up because he didn't want to be serious, I would let things be. Also, he's had a whole month to call and chose not to. I know you don't want to hear this, but he is making his feelings very plain. Now you've picked up the phone and want to know how long to wait for a return call. Stop calling, stop waiting - period. I know you feel there is more than a bf/gf connection, but he didn't even want that much of one. You can't make someone else want what you want, or want you. You have different expectations for being together. You are getting the raw end of the deal. Find someone who can give you what you offer in return. Stop waiting and settling. You are worth more. I know you miss him, but you are better off accepting the reality of the situation, rather than hoping and being continually disappointed.
  23. justsweetgirl
    Why doesn't she trust you?
  24. justsweetgirl
    Why "forget it"? Your situation has changed? Or you just aren't interested in hearing from anyone? Personally, I think the whole watching someone's child, baking cookies and having a family day thing sounds divine. You don't know what the furture holds, but then again, who among us does? You enjoy each other's company, you are getting to know each other. I think her time with her bf is growing to a close. She is lucky to have you. If she spends her time with you mourning her bf, then not enough time has passed. If, however, she is able to focus on the two of you, awesome. Take it slow - which, I know from reading some of your replies to posts - is what you yourself would advise. Keep the expectations grounded; don't jump for joy prematurely...but don't assume you are going to crash and burn, either. Enjoy the moments. Good luck.
  25. justsweetgirl
    I know what you are going through. In my case, the lies didn't stop because the person I was with was not content to be with one person. She needed constant attention, from numerous admirers. It took me a while to realize nothing was wrong with me. The problem was her lack of self-esteem and insecurity. I don't know what the issue is with your wife, but the lying is only a symptom. You have to get to the root of the matter. Good luck.
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