justsweetgirl

My girlfriend of three years recently moved out of state. She felt she had become burned out emotionally and physically. She wanted a change. So, she said adios to me and my two young daughters who have become quite attached to her, to say the least. She felt this would help her, and, in turn, help us. She said she loves me and will look for a job and send money to help with her portion of the bills. I believe she will. However, the bigger picture for me is this: We were abandoned, no? Our feelings were not taken into consideration. We were not consulted. She decided to go, and go she did. On the brand new motorcycle I am paying for. Oh, yeah, for the past eighteen months she has not been interested in sex. But when I suggested seeing other people, she said that was cheating. I am very confused. I am going through the twelve stages of grief seemingly daily; "I forgive her, she's doing her best" one minute to "I'm thinking of putting her things by the curb" the next. I am all over the place emotionally. I need some advice. Am I overreacting? I don't particularly like long distance relationships and she knows this. Her moving out does not seem like a step forward. Of course, the long and short of it is she thinks I should consider moving away from my 8 and 9 year old and move in with her. She thinks with phone calls and emails and a web cam, it wouldn't be so bad. For who??? Maybe she's not the person I thought she was. Part of me thinks I should just let her go. This was my first real adult, mature relationship. A lot of issues were worked on in three years. I feel I have grown tremendously as a person, a mother, and a partner. I have a lot to thank her for. I have been extremely understanding, patient and supportive. But I think it's time I stopped. I think maybe me and my needs and the needs of my family got lost somewhere in the process. What do you think?

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years. During the last year,however, she has lost her sex drive completely. She says it's not me, it's the stress of her job. As she comes home from work every single day, I know she is not seeing anyone else. Our communication is great, we laugh, take day trips, rent movies, cuddle, everything...but sex. She tells me life is about more than sex. But now that I am not having any, it has become quite important. I have an opportunity to see my ex very soon. She is still interested in me. I know she wouldn't be opposed to having sex, and we were once well suited for eachother sexually. Only sexually. I love my girlfriend very much and have never strayed. I do not want to hurt her. I don't want to have a sexless relationship nor do I want to lose everything else we have together by breaking up. PLEASE HELP

Speaking from the perspective of someone who remained friends with an ex while in a current relationship, RUN. It hurt all three of us. If your gf went back to her ex after continuing to speak to him while dating you, then she wanted more than friendship with him all along. She never really gave you a chance. There were three of you in that relationship. You were not respected. To speak to her now, while she is with him, is to invite this kind of chaos back into your life. It will not work. It will not win her back. She may return temporarily, but continue to speak with her ex. Do you want to go through this again? End the drama. Let her go. Someone else will want you and only you. Good luck.

Why, exactly, do you love him? He hates religion, children and life in general. And you love all three. Forget about whether he proposes or not, you have larger issues here. Like compatability. I think feeling rejected because he doesn't want to marry has made you want that proposal more than anything on earth. It has blinded you to some very serious concerns regarding your future as a couple. Forget about getting married and pretend, for a moment, that you already are. What is a typical day like for you? Joyous and connected? Or the opposite? Take a good, long look. Could you be happy childless? There are too many questions and not enough answers in your current situation.

I cannot believe the nerve of some people. Breaks up with you and then, months later, calls to ask for money??? He gave you your wake-up call. He did you a favor. You are not a doormat. You will find someone absolutely wonderful - when the time is right. Take some time to heal. Pamper yourself. Spend time with friends and family - people who love you for you, and not because they want something from you. I have sooo been there. Doesn't it feel good to take control of your life! Be proud of yourself. I hope others in similar situations will read and learn from your experience. Good luck.

She may be having a good day when she calls and makes plans to see you and then her depression hits and she recants. Dealing with depression is very difficult. It's no wonder this is a rollercoaster ride for you. Is she on medication? Good luck.

OceanEyes is right. Do not push. Nothing turns me off as fast as being pressured. Respect his wishes. What you want is not more important than what your boyfriend wants. Remember that. The way you deal with this whole wedding issue may determine the way you handle difficult situations as a couple in the future. Good luck.

If she dumped you because she doubts your ability to take care of her later on, this is a huge red flag. Relationships encounter many issues and problems. Despite your feelings for her, would she stand by you in the future? Or pull a disappearing act?

I wouldn't contact him. If he wanted to hear from you, he'd call. He made his feelings plain. It's time to move on.

Either she said she loved you and didn't mean it, or the thought of loving someone is terrifying to her and causes her to run. You've spent four months with her. What does your heart tell you?

I have read some of your posts and find them to be insightful and refreshing. Welcome.

I had a friend who always had a crisis - or the same crisis - whenever we spoke. I tried to be as supportive as possible, but I became drained after a few years. I tried changing the subject but eventually I had to stop taking her calls. I miss her, but not the drama. And I don't think she can separate the two.

It is too soon to be friends.

If the woman was talking to your husband's friend who happens to share his name and email account, why did your husband have her number and email among his receipts? Also, this doesn't explain the second woman's phone number and email address. If a man will cheat, he will think nothing of lying. I think you are being had.

What do the two of you argue about? I am trying to figure out if your personalities clash or what. If you usually can't stand to be within arm's reach of each other, and argue and stop speaking for a month at a time, these are not very positive signs. What is different now? And can it be sustained? I am glad you got invited to his party. But please don't get your hopes up too high, based on your history with him. Have fun.