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brando

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Everything posted by brando

  1. brando
    nick t I will not try to convince you or anyone that this is an easy thing to go through. I do not know why x's or exe's try to contact or remain in contact, not generally speaking. And having to see her around uni right now must be difficult. All i can add to try and help is focus on you. Do the things that make you happy, and continue living your life as if nothing has changed. You lost a gf, not your life. The happier you continue to make yourself the sooner you will fel better and perhaps one day maintain a friendship with her, if you do choose so. Sometiems we reach this place of being healed and friendship with an ex seems less desirable, but at least from this healed viewpoint we can make this decison based on what we want and not becaise we think we have to hate them over a break up. Enough said... be well brando
  2. brando
    well maybe she wants some friendship between you two, not sure. Their is nothing wrong with x's being friends or friendly. I guess both parties have to want it though. You seem to be doing alright. It may be natural to feel youve falle back from the healing process, esp after this experience. Hang in their, the road gets much easier as we travel further down it. be well, brando
  3. brando
    The only person putting you back a step is yourself not your ex.
  4. brando
    I always felt that by letting them go to live their lives as they feel they need to is the greatest showing of love. By trying to get them to change their minds, or to hear what you have to say is a message to them that what they want is not important at all. This is not a message of love you are sending them. Their are no ways of winning someone back. Their is tons of information on the internet about it and one has to wonder if it is true or not. I read once that by not accepting a lover telling you they no longer want to be in the relationship is a greater sign of selfishness. Live life for yourself, let her live for herself. No guarantees she will want to rekindle the flame that once burned. Their are no guarantees for love.
  5. brando

    Having Kids

    brando replied to CharlesF's topic in Dating Advice

    Charles, you aren't too old to meet a woman and to have kids. You are only 38, and you have plenty of life ahead of you. This woman, are you settling on her? If a woman told me what i will regret, i wouldn't want to be with her anyway. She has a bigger problem with this than you do. You need to ask yourself what it is you truly want. THen you make your decision regardless of what others think. Chances are this relationship with this woman would be difficult. If she is already thinking you will rergret being with her because she can't have children, I don't think she will ever forget this thought, and it will follow you and your relationship with her causing much unnecessary pain and trouble. best of luck..
  6. brando
    honeyspur, from a womans perspective, why would she want to act neglectful towards him, maybe i am missing this piece to the puzzle....
  7. brando
    Well their isn't much you can do here. It is about what he seems to want, and that is much different than what you want. Their are no formulas or sure fireways of getting someone back. The more you chase him the further he will run. So i would leave it be and simply live you life. Only he knows the reasons why he told you on the phone he is leaving you. All the speculatig one can waste so much time on will offer nothing more than questions. Accept what he has told you, as hard as it maybe, and as painful it is, acceptance is the best way to get through this.
  8. brando
    You can always try to make her a wee bit jealous. This may increase her curiosity about you if she is still interested. Talk to other girls, or another girl. Why settle for one when their are so many around you. I don't think you need to apologize, you have not done anything to offer up one. If anything she needs to apologize to you for acting rude and neglectful towards you. So perhaps you should be taking a different perspective on this situation. And she needs to start worrying why you are not talking to her. This is a classic case of what turns girls off. The more you persue her looking for an explanation, the less attractive you become. Do not let this happen.
  9. brando
    I didn t cower in the corner, but i tooka quick inventory of the stuff in the house and realized it is all replaceable. I got my stereo and my tools, except of course my drill which i have not had a use for since. So no big deal. I dont miss the stuff i let her have. Everyting is replaceable even people. So nothing to really sweat over.
  10. brando
    well i guess some need to believe this in order to feel better after being dumped. I agree with Frisco 100 % let it go and stop this childish thinking of living better is a revenge tactic. Live better for you and no one else.
  11. brando
    Congratulations, you two seem to have come a long way. Best wishes to a full reconciliation. Thanks for sharing...
  12. brando
    people dont turn gay. He is gay, and always was, and is finally tired of trying to pretend he isn't.
  13. brando
    why do you still want to be with her. Something doesnt sound right in this situation, nstead of being childish and playing thie nonsense game tell her it is unacceptable for you and end it.
  14. brando
    the physical act of sex is easy, but it is what lyes beneath the meaning between two people who share such intimacy is what is vital. Sex is not love, and love is not sex, sort of like religion and spitiuality, you can have one without the other.
  15. brando
    just think of all the sucky things their are being in a relationship. Far more sometimes then being single. Once you begin learning more about who you are...and the things you like in this solo period, the far better it becomes. Take advantage of it...stop worrying about the illusion of love. It will find you in the end.
  16. brando
    You may be experiencing some depression. Perhpas you can find a professional to talk with. Don't let this go by without speaking to soemone. It doesn't go away by itself. be well.
  17. brando
    I agree with Annie. Would anyone here on ENot, want to be the subject of a love intrests posts? Trust me you would not want to. It is different when a person is searching for information on relationships and stumbles accross ENA, then telling someone about it.
  18. brando
    I don't believe that if someone cheats is an indication of how much or little they love you. I wouldn't be too concerned about the article, and both men and women do cheat. Part of life. Their is no way to cheat-proof your relationship.
  19. brando
    and I just get real tired TRQ, this is a great line. It could be a great title as well.
  20. brando
    and then he must've had a moment of doubt or maybe he remembered that I had no problem with doors, I never have, Great lines, especially the "....he remembered I had no problems with doors,.." Great display of the false sense of self confidence in the guy.
  21. brando
    I think you still need to keep a sense of self even if married. DO your own thing whenever you can. If you are not keeping yourself happy, your partner isn't going to either.
  22. brando
    I have also read that it really takes only one person in a relationship from preventing a discusiion or a lite argument from going into the "hole" Some say use the STOP technique. Whereone of the two partners say stop when things are getting a little heated, a cool off period, and an agreement beforehand, a contract if you will, of how long the cool off period will be before trying to discuss again.
  23. brando
    Problems are opportunities in work clothes.
  24. brando
    The way I see it you hae a better opportunity than a problem. The nights she doesnt want to babysit is a free night for you. GO out have fun and don't worry about it. She is taking care of her child, it is important to her. SHe knows you are their and probably would like to be with you but cant. So if she can't go out, go out yourself. It doesn't mean she cares about you any less. Do not think in these terms, they are all wrong. You too have a life to live without her, so live it. Spend some time with her and her child when she doesn''t want to get a baby sitter, and then go out for yourself. Not such a bad deal in reality.
  25. brando
    Good point Chai. It has to be a mutual agreement to want to work things out, not just the dumper initating it or the dumpee. It is tough though being the dumpee and wanting to let the pother person know what you are thinking and feeling. But i learned a hard lesson some time ago. And it was harsh to hear it, but i was told it didn't matter what i wanted, it was what she wanted that mattered. Took some time for this to sink in. And i wasn't thinking what my ex wanted at the time, i was selfish. And all though many here will disagree with me it is important to try and understand what the dumpee is wanting. It was a great letter you wrote, and i hope you mean what you say in that letter. He may or may not respond. But you did what you felt you needed to do, so let it go now. Your words are out their, and it is up to him now to do what he will do with them. Be well, brando
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