brando

Their is no protocol about how to act around an ex. Be yourself. It is really that simple.

Hey LB, I would maybe see a professional before labeling yourself with this condition. At least then you will know what your next step would need to be.

Well if you are asking if a person is "the one", then chances are they probably aren't. The problem with believing their is "the one" is that one may want to try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

I think to find men over 25 still living at home is not as uncommon as you may think. I have seen many immature men living on their own, so where you live or who a man ives with is meaningless. Lets face it, it isn't cheap to live on ones own today. The question is do you choose to live at home for finacial reasons, or for other reasons?? If it is a problem for your social life, then perhaps you can start thinking of finding your own place. I wouldn't worry about it. A woman who judges you because you are living at home may not be a woman you want to be with anywho. Think about that.

Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate them all. As for the Haiku, Happytown got me started with a few of his own.

A book lies on my nightstand Dust piles up like snow, Basho sneezes in haiku.

No I really liked that poem. Just wanted to be sure.

happytown is this yours?? I felt a bubbling inside So strong I had to do something It was creation It wasn't focused It was a pure and crude light I needed to lay it down before it burnt me I tried to hold it for a while I wanted it to be mine forever But it was only the spark not the flame So I sat down And I opened my heart to you all To allow the air of love to light the fire

KIDD, Do not SHOULD on yourself. Self Discipline is hard to maintain and instill on ones self. I can relate to your post... but as long as you enjoy the things you feel you need to do less of then their is no ham being done. You can only begin to change by taking baby steps. Living life one minute at a time. In that regard maybe you need to stop the things you feel are excessive in small intervals. DO not try to change things perfectly. I believe this is where the should of's come from. Their is no perfection only progress, remember that. Try to change the should to NEED. And try not to punsih yourself if you fail. Change doesn not happen over night. Especialy if you are aware of your procrastination. remember baby steps. You can spend your life beating yourself up over the things you should have or could have or would have done, in the end it wont get you anywhere, you didnt and all you can now do is start again today. So try to remember that their are no "should have" "would have" and "could have", their is only "I need to....." Every minute is an opportunity to start again. be well, brando

The loving you as a friend is a good sign she feels little romantic feelings for you. Do not take her confusion lightly. She may have doubts and wants to be sure, which in many cases this is the final stage beofre a break up. Sorry, if i were you i would forget her and move on and live your life.

Don't think it is about girls coming back, it is about people. Some couples get back together some do not. Any details to your situation??

The old cheaper to keep her philiosophy. I wouldn't know. But would you be happy living your life this way?? Besides seeing your kid under these conditions, would it be an amicable relationship to continue on together?? A relationship that is a positive influence on your son?

This tooth is nagging me, and Friday i wanted to extract it myself with a pair of slip joint pliers. Something I had ate, a morsel of food, either breakfast, maybe lunch, burroughed down into the decaying crevice and pecking on a nerve. That crumb of food, compacted, chewed, wedged deep within a once healthy crown of pearly white. It escapes the sweeping of my tongue, harboured from the relentless swirls of salt water and booze, swashing around my gums, over aging teeth, still persisting, producing a sharp piercing ache, pressing the same nerve over and over like some damn doorbell, announicng its unwelcomed arrival.

Allie, I would just be upfront with thte guy. Tell him the way you spilled it out here. Sometimes friends with benefits ends up with one person forgetting about the orignal agreement, no strings attached. I think this is the best way to let him know. be well.

Not sure what you mean by easier. I think it is helpful if you go out and enjoy dancing. I have always been a wallflower when it came to dancing. I have tried to go out and enjoy it, and i'm simply too self conscious to enjoy it. Im sure if i was able to enjoy dancing and well the music they play at clubs(I cant stand) then i would probably meet more women. SO in my opinion yes i gues it makes meeting the opposite sex that much easier in a club.

O, Just be pacient. It will come. You cannot force this acceptance to happen, it is a gradual process. A trick i learned is to watch my thoughts and to question if i really believe those thoughts. I found out later these thoughts are considered "LIMITING THOUGHTS". It is easy to get sucked up into our belief systems. It is as if we think they are etched in stone, the same way people think falling in love is beyond their control, and falling out of love. None of these things are etched anywhere. It is only a belief. We all choose the things we want in life, sometimes a few of us forget that all we need to do is make another choice. We are only powereless over others... not ourselves, and thier is a limitation on how much we control our own lives as well. The rest is up to God, the universe, or a higher power. Anyway, i know you can do this, one minute at a time one day at a time you will get past this. be well, brando

I just dont really remember baggage being much of an issue in past relationships. I guess after the hurt you suffered you want to be more aware of any red flags that can cause a relationship to be become no more. Or maybe you went nto the last relationship blind (as I may have) Best of luck.

yeh drink what you like it doesnt have to be coffee or tea. Or suggest going to another place.

i dont think it is relevant for someone to date who is not over their ex. It is all part of the process of moving on. Besides Orlander said he is not looking for a relationship, so what harm is being done. ???? Some baggage...hmmmm tough question. If she was in an abusive relationship then i would bail. If she isnt spending anytime with dealing with i would defintely bail. Emotional wounds are unseen and will surface more as you get closer to a woman (or a man for the ladies here). So i guess O, you need to think about what is accepotable for you and what isnt when it comes to baggage. And I think it is a great idea to date. Keep dating, but be up front with each woman about not wanting a serious committment. No harm being done here. be well

O, Yeah this must have been a real shock. Not the thing you want to hear... but it is what it is. You seem to be handling it well. You have a good outlook. To be able to see two sides of how you can react is key. Number two is the way to go. Things do hapen for a reason, and it is up to us to find that reason that pushed us through lifes mysteries. be well friend, brando.

Willow, i think you need to truly ask yourself if you believe this relationship is/was meant to be. It could be your strong belief in this thought is really holding you back from taking the necessary steps from moving on. Besides what does his family know about this relationship as meant to be??. Only God or a higher power has this ability, not people. I agree with Frisco, it is a gift that you two aren't together. Stop listening to those around you telling you this relationship is written in the stars. Suspend that judgement until you get a grip on your situation as it is right now. Accept that it is what it is, and focus on you and what you want out of life and how you will get yourself on that road. As far as the money he owes you, well you can't make him pay you back. You can try to set up a payment plan, but he stil does not have to agree to follow through. I would try to see if you two can work this out on your own, but if you find he is not living up to your agreement, then you may need to consider legal action against him. Especially if it is several thousand dollars you are talking about. Your only other option is to let it go completely, and I know you don't want to do that. It is a journey, and you need to take that first step alone. After the first, the next steps become much easier. be well brando

Id say men have a slight advantage, they are typically the approacher. Now depending on a guys self confidence, this will determine his ability and desire to approach women for dates.

yeah it is a mushy question... my ex..hmm we both knew when we met at a job we both worked at. We were friends for two years, and we were both in relationships when we met. Everyone we knew who worked with us always asked when we were getting together, i guess it showed that much. So we just knew before we ever dated. Do not remember who said it first, i dont believe it needed to be said. Where are we now???, divorced. SO much for that. LOL.

From what i have read on separation and divorce, a separation is usually a bad idea. It is usually the beginning of the end. If it can be avoided, avoid it, if it is something your partner wants, then you have little to say on this matter. Best of luck.

very interesting points made Red Queen.