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russia

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Everything posted by russia

  1. russia
    are you trying to buy your ex? it seems like you are only succeeding in prolonging the inevitable, final, break. i know many real life examples of women like you, and i can't believe i never had that sort of luck with women, and envy those guys who can string along women like you and siphon off their money. i have to treat my women! and some of these guys aren't even as good looking or nice! eventually, when the money runs out, they run off to try their luck with another woman. i hope you see my point. esp so when your ex has been taking money without getting your permission. a very dangerous situation indeed. these men are very dangerous for your health, so please don't keep thinking you love them. most of them will not change their ways for love. as for his stuff, just throw it out by the USED-BY-DATE. he can either pick it up NOW, or rummage for it at the local dump and don't let your christmas be spoiled. use your money on yourself and have a nice dinner (just don't go to those lovely-dovey restaurants, naturally) and parties, or just enjoy those excellent christmas programs on tv/cable. guess what? you are not alone! there are lots of lonely people out there at christmas too, so don't feel too bad. you're in great company!
  2. russia
    yes, men will say anything for sex. you don't have to believe us. but you will, anyway, cos you want the relationship you didn't really make a clean break, cos it's not a definite break. a definite break is like there's a third party and it's real love between one of the pair and the 3rd party. so this one needs a lot of logic (men have it better here, i think. we're more logical) to get out of. so he's been getting out of it, but everytime you come near, the logic flies out the window for the guy. but he snaps back into logic mood quickly enough, as you can see from his on-off reactions. so you can either pull a let's-try-it-one-more-time thing, but you have to really change what's wrong with the relationship in the first place, or else really really give up, avoid, escape any communication with him. or else be really really cool in his presense especially among mutual friends.
  3. russia
    you already lost out, lady. i am sure you know how the process works, being smart and independent. FACT: the best (ie. not scared of commitment) guys are taken in school. after that, the process gets really fuzzy and random. now that you are already 24, you are only attractive to older men or else younger men who are not into commitment. you might find a younger man willing to commit, but you will always be afraid he's not going to last a lifetime. now that you know your target audience, it's up to you to attract them the only way that works. and it's not looks. it's paying them attention. for the older established men, admiring their power and youthfulness always works. for the younger men, just admire them and if you like their activities (sports, clubbing, etc) as well, you can't miss.
  4. russia
    just because you say breakup doesn't mean it's instant. the fact that you are spending time together says that the breakup didn't count. if it did, you'd be apart for good. i suggest you try and mend fences during this season and see where it goes from here.
  5. russia
    are you sure you want to be a step-dad at 24 to a girl who's already 9? if she gets married at 25, you'd only be 40 years old. that's assuming you managed to pay for her uni education when she turns 18. love and romance are important, but so are the serious aspects of keeping that love alive, and that includes financial management. if you have considered all angles, then go for it. your timing is perfect. and don't ever stop being romantic or you're history. these promises you made today are meant to be kept for a lifetime.
  6. russia
    i know i am going to get flamed for this, but here goes: if you don't have an orgasm almost every time you make love, after awhile, you're not going to enjoy it anymore. and the problem with men in general is, we are going to enjoy sex for the rest of our lives. if you are not there for us, we rove so think about why you are not having an orgasm. go see a sex counsellor or read some sex guide books (not porn, that's for deviant sex behaviour, actually, that's not a bad idea from a male point of view, haha). sex is between 2 persons, so don't let him put all the blame on you. find out what's really wrong first. just looking at the evidence (you being dry and not able to come) is not enough. you have to look at the circumstances behind that condition. he's not turning you on, obviously. i am sure if the right buttons were pushed, you'd wet yourself real nice and will want to have more of this enjoyable and close experience.
  7. russia
    it's the typical nice way of saying it's over for whatever reasons, and you having a baby is definitely one of them, he wants out. i suggest that for now, concentrate on loving your baby. it's the one who needs you most now. if someone comes along in a couple of years, and is ready for a kid too, who knows?
  8. russia
    sad to say, it's going to be hard to break your mould. and besides, relationships are about co-dependency. better for you to find someone who accepts your clingyness, than fight it. and better if that someone is able to gently and lovingly teach you to let go and still be closer in a relationship.
  9. russia
    there are lots of reasons why people can't make it for a first meeting. do give her a chance to explain it. and for all you know, she might be afraid she's not your type and decided to dump you before she is dumped by you. if you really like her and think you're compatible, then take your time to meet up. if she doesn't want to meet up, if could be a sign that she's not ready for a real relationship with you, for whatever reasons. go figure.
  10. russia
    hey, if you love the man, you love the man. it may still work out although he's been very very hurt and will never forget it. this is like adultery, you know? just minus the marital strings so you got caught and now you have to pay the price. so you now ask, is he worth it? some of the requirements are reasonable, and should be done without being a requirement even. the job change is definitely a must. it avoids the temptation from recurring. since you initiate the breakup with your boss, he will still harbour feelings for you (sexual mostly) some aren't so clear, like stopping seeing friends who know about the situation, unless they are the wrong crowd to hang out with in the first place. going to church is good, but it's not going to make you a better Christian. it starts from the heart. once you stopped this affair and confessed it, you'd find it a lot easier to go to church. like you have less one big sin, you know.
  11. russia
    nice start to a romance. you can return her compliment and see if she takes it well. if she returns with additional interest, the rest is up to you
  12. russia
    women don't have the same sex drive mechanism as men. relationship comes first. so since you have a rocky time now, don't expect sex as for the phone thing, don't call her up at those times cos it means you are just spying on her. really trust her because there's nothing else you can do anyway. if you want to chat on the phone with her, make a phone date or call when you know she's alone in her room and in the right frame of mind to chat. not when she's in the middle of a party. her friends probably advised her to turn off her phone cos you're such a pain.
  13. russia
    your guy isn't completely a jerk, yet. cos it takes 2 hands to clap. if you want to get physical with a guy who has no intention of going mental with you, that's your prerogative. for all we know, you're just playing with him while you're getting ready for the next guy. having had him before, your standards are higher, and won't settle for the kids around your age. as you can see, they are still way too immature. want to have fun but no strings attached. so you might as well get some physical satisfaction from your ex
  14. russia
    virginity, that's the question. did she buy your loyalty with it? did you accept the deal? if you did, then these are the consequences you accept. you are not a man for making love to a woman, but a man when you accept your responsibilities what is loyalty? what is love? only when it suits you? only when she was a virgin and wasn't clinging to you? why do you think she is clinging to you now? she's YOURS! like it or not. cos you made her cling. so now you want to make her uncling, right? easy. the plain truth always works. tell her your feelings for her died. you don't like her now, all clingy and bothersome. you hate having sex with her and having to be stuck with her cos she gave you her virginity. you never wanted a virgin girlfriend anyway. you wanted FUN and sow your wild oats. btw, you don't have a choice now. cos you don't love her and you are not mature enough to make the situation right. so break up. it's the least of the worst for both of you. of course, she might commit suicide, but that won't bother you if you even considered this course of action.
  15. russia
    even soulmates have secrets. but now that you've heard it, don't be upset. you know he is impulsive at heart, otherwise he would have thought it through weeks beforehand, sat you down and told you about it, get your approval, then make all the arrangements there's only one thing to do when there are 2 sets of grandparents. take turns. usually the man gets the first turn. arrange with your parents for thanksgiving on another day, and maybe they get first choice for christmas? to make the best of a tough logistics situation, arrange to meet at grandma's place. he should drop you and your kids off at grandma's a day earlier then you and he (or he alone) goes and gets his kids to grandma's if you think his kids are more familiar with the grandma and would like to spend more time with the grandma, then switch it around, have him pick up and drop his kids at grandma's a day ahead. then come back and get you and your kids then for return trip, he must send his kids home first, cos he will return home with you and your kids
  16. russia
    you assumed she's got internet access and is IT savvy, that's why she works in cafes & restaurants, right? just ask her for a date. you already know some of her interests, so suggest something along those lines. you like her, she likes you. if she rejects you, don't mean you have to stop eating there. just means no extra ketchup
  17. russia
    all families have problems. some have many, some fewer. some big, some smaller. why compare? enjoy his family, but don't apologise for yours. don't be embarressed by it either. you are not their keeper, but you should advise your mom of her rights. abuse is not acceptable. you have low self-esteem, cos you let yourself be measured by the quality of your family and not by your own abilities and personal character. but you have a choice before you. do value yourself.
  18. russia
    i can identify with you because i am in the same situation, same time frame. maybe better, maybe worse. cos you are already planning to meet as you have spent more time with each other, it's like a real relationship but not completely so. so now your inconsiderate acts are really perceived as such, and not brushed away in the early days of courtship. during friendship, a lot more is tolerated, since there is no 'loss' of the giving away of a heart. but when it turns to love, then every hurt and rejection and recrimination is a stab into the other party's heart. this will go on after you meet too. meeting is a new milestone, yes, cos you have more situations to handle now. instead of just voice and text. you have your full 5 senses to love and hurt with. i guess some might say it's easier to love without sight first. cos it's love of a person's personality. assuming you are not deceiving each other about your personal character. if you put on an internet mask, then when you meet, the deception will come off very quickly, or else you have to continue with your deception until such time as when you are found out or you give up cos it's just not yourself. or maybe you will change to become that 'better' person (very small chance of this!) all those *beeps* happen in relationships that are made directly too, so it's inevitable between 2 individuals. but you should not accept it as something that will go away with time. it will only go away with time if you understand why it happens and what both of you can do to make it go away. so you talk it through in truth and with sensitivity. sometimes, it's not really deliberate hurt, but crosstalk/misunderstanding. you may think you are helpless, if she is hurt when you have not intended to her hurt. or vice versa. but if you can both cool down, don't say hurtful things, but ask what is the real root issue, see it from each others' point of view, and be prepared to change on both sides to accommodate each other, then you will build a lasting relationship.
  19. russia
    this is one of those times when i am glad i am wrong
  20. russia
    all that every man really wants, deep down, is a woman like his mom. who loves him unconditionally, and pampers and treats him like a king. of course, these days of female emancipation, you have to look in 3rd world countries to find these girls. and even then when you find them. they change! of course, society does train a man to expect less and to put in more effort on their part in a relationship. but your man is pretty low down the civilisation level. so you can take him back, but you have to accept that he's not going to be any better than he was. if you expect more, expect that he will up and leave again. and the dumb brute that he is, will go from woman to woman until he finds one that operates at his level. so how does he gets the girls? well, the courting behaviour is a lot different from long term relationships so take care of yourself and your kiddo.
  21. russia
    while you were caring for him online, someone else got to him in real life.
  22. russia
    just cos you got a loud and hell attitude socially, doesn't mean you can't love someone. if that someone is courtney, then go for her.
  23. russia
    all i am going to say is: you never listen to good advice, so i'll give you some bad advice you want: go ahead and do what your heart tells you to do.
  24. russia
    gone are the carefree days of youth. you exchanged it for the necessary evil of earning good money. not a bad deal, if you didn't have the sword of damocles hanging over your head. you might want to see a psychiatrist about your situation, cos 6 years is too long to live like that, esp when you used to be happy-go-lucky
  25. russia
    you are one lucky dude. enjoy the "no-strings attached" free sex. in the past, you actually had to pay for it with "love". just be safe and use a condom. you never know who she's been out with. hahaha. just joking. seriously now, i think she found the earlier relationship lost the sparkle of the friendship you once had. when you were friends, you were more considerate, more caring, more supportive. when you "got" her, you stopped doing some things for her. i think if you talk to her about getting back together, and talking about where you went off target (cos you always love her so it's not like you deliberately withheld love from her, you just didn't know you were doing that by not doing some things that she continued to need while in a relationship), you might have a good chance of repairing the damage and even improve on it.
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