shy_gal200

Hello all!! I have posted a few times on here and I am having a hard time dealing with something in my life at this moment!! I am currently pregnant and due in less then three weeks, I am also in the proces of a divorce, I actually go to court in less then a week. My husband wants to work things out, we have agreed that we are still getting a divorce but he wants to work things out. I have told him that I need to do some thinking about the whole situation, he left in the beginning and there are a lot of issues that we have delt with. I am not going to get in great detail because I have done that in the past and not gotten very many replies!! I am really needing some advice here, like I said I am due to have our baby in less then three weeks and I love my husband and I really do want to work things out, I believe that we can do it if we both want the same things!! He has told me that he is willing to go to counseling or whatever it takes, I think he has a big problem with relationships, he has three other kids and has never been there for the birth of any of them!! I want him to be there for our baby to born, I think that will maybe help him in a way with dealing with a lot of things that he has delt with in the past. I also want us to be a family again, I have a son from a previous relationship and I pretty much did it all by myself, I was by myself when I had him and I have been on my own ever since, well until me and my husband got married! So when I first found out I was pregnant, I was so thrilled, thrilled to have a baby with my HUSBAND and we were going to be a happy family, then about two months ago my husband left because he said he was unhappy, he since then has called and told me that things weren't as bad as he thought, and he missed me, missed coming home to me, missed just the small things like......sitting at home watching tv with me and my son. So anyways, like I said I really want things to work out, but I don't want to be the only one that is trying to work things out, I want HIM to understand that I have been here through all of this, all the stress that I went through when he left, the heartache, all of that. I am sure he had his moments where he was upset too, but he never really showed any emotions towards me in all of this til now. I don't want to put my whole emotions back into this relationship just so I can get hurt again, but I do want him back, I just don't want to sound or act totally desprate, if that makes sense! So if anyone has any advice, please please send it my way!! Thanks!

Hello everyone, I have posted a few forums on here in the past and everyone has been great with answering question, giving advice, and just being there for people like me in time of need!! I need some more advice!!! Here is a quick cap of what has been going on with me in the last few months: I have been married for about 2 1/2 years, currently 9 months and about two months ago my hubby left me. I found out somthings and I had reasons to believe that somthing was going on, maybe letting my imagination getting the best of me, he says he left because he was unhappy and was tired of us arguing all the time, he didn't want his baby coming into this world listening to her mom and dad do nothing but aruge!! He said and still says there has been nothing going on....even though he until a few nights ago was living with another woman. I still love him, but I am still also having a hard time believing him when he says that there hasn't been nothing going on, I know him and this girl moved in together less then a month ago and he says they are just roomates, but since then he is staying with a male friend of his because he says this girl wants more then just a roomate and he doesn't want that. He called a couple nights ago leaving a couple messages saying that he wants to talk to me about some stuff and he sounded really upset, well instead of calling him back the next day I waited for him to call me, and we got together the next night and did a lot of talking, I asked a bunch of questions and he answered them for the most part, he told me what has been doing on and he also said "I still love you, I miss you, I miss coming home to my wife" I talked to him since then and told him I wanted to talk some more there is more that needs to be worked out, there is a lot more to this, like I have caught him in lies, he has a rocky past with relationships, and he also has three other kids by three different women. Not that that's a bad thing, I have a child from a previous relationship, but his situation is he doesn't see all of these kids, one is a long story, one the mother doesn't want him to see the child, and the other one he sees on a regular basis. So anyways, like I said, I still love him and I want more then anything for us to get back together, I am just scared, I am scared of being hurt again....because I am a lot stronger now then I was two months ago and don't want to let my guard down and get hurt again, I also know there is going to be a lot of things we are going to have to get past, like me learning to trust him again, and him excepting the fact that he was wrong to do the things he did, he has a hard time admitting when he is wrong or saying that he is sorry for what he does. I guess I just don't know where to go from here, like I said a huge part of me wants him back, I am going to have our baby in less then a month and I need him here for me in so many different ways, but I also want to be strong on my own as well..... So anyways, if anyone can please give me some helping advice here..... that would be GREAT!!

Hello everyone, I have posted a few things on here before regarding my relationship....so here goes another..... I have been married for a little over two years, I am currently almost 8 months pregnant and possibly going through a divorce. A little over two months my husband went to work at a different job that requires him to travel out of town a lot, well the first week was normal we talked on the phone almost every night he told me he loved me and all that good stuff okay, well the end of that week, he came home telling me that he needs some time apart, he wants to find that special "happiness" that we had in the beginning.... well I thought to myself, "he is going to be out of town working anyways, I guess if he needs some time away.....this is a good time to do it" ......well the next couple days he was kind of distant when ever I would call him, wouldn't really call that much, it was always me calling him, which I guess if he needed some time maybe I pushed him, but needing some time away and talking on the phone even if it was only for a few minutes, didn't really think that was a problem. So anyways, after a couple of weeks of me thinking that he needing time away and thinking that he is coming back came to a big hault!!! I found out that him and guy friend that was working with him were staying at a "girls" house that they had met to save some money, okay, well I wouldn't have a problem with that to an extenet if he would of been honest with me in the beginning, but he wasn't and he denied it. So anyways, after that he came home and got the rest of his clothes and I told him that if we weren't going to be together anymore then I wanted a divorce, me thinking the worst here......I truly believe that he was messing around, so anyways..... later on after I talked to him a few times here and there on the phone, I said to him "what if I said I don't want a divorce and I want to work things out?" he said... "sorry" So maybe I am a fool for not wanting a divorce still, but dang.... I love him so much, I think that a baby needs a mother and a father.... he has three kids right now not with me and he only sees one of them, the other two kids, well that is a long complicated story. I have thought of my pros and cons about this, and maybe I am a fool like I said, or maybe I just love him so much I want this to work out what ever has happened in the past, I don't have proof that he was messing around. I have proof that he has lied to me more then a few times, and that isn't good either, I mean if you don't have trust you don't have a marriage, but I am willing to do what ever it takes at this moment to work this out... I just wish that there was somthing to say to him to make him understand that I do love him so much I want it to work, I know you can't make someone care if they don't, love if they don't, work it out if they don't want to work it out..... I just want to try everything that I can, that way I know I DID try!! So if anyone has any helping thoughts in this, please please send it my way!!! Thanks!

Hello everyone, I have had a lot of problems with my marriage and right now I am at the toughest spot I could ever be at. I am almost on the verge of getting a divorce!! I have been married for a little over two years, I am 7 months pregnant, and recently we have decided, well he has mainly decided that we need some time apart. Well he has been working out of town and when he isn't working he is also staying out of town to get the space he says he needs. So he has been spending time away from home, away from me, and according to him it is because he needs time away "to get that happiness back in our marriage". I recently found out that there possibly may be a woman involved. Let's just say long story short that I guess in my heart I have to make a really important decision. I have to decided weather or not to truly believe in my husband. He says there isn't anything going on and I have talked to this "other woman" and she says that nothing is going on as well, which if there was something going on I don't know why she would lie about it, I mean what the heck is she going to gain right? right....? Or maybe I shouldn't believe either one of them, I don't know what to do. My thing is that, if there is somthing going on and I say "well I believe you" then later on if things do work out between me and him then who's to say that he will think "well shoot, I got away with it before, I can do it again" Because like I said, weather we are together or not, he works out of town a lot. I guess I have to decide that for my self, but if anyone has any advice for me....please.....please... send it my way!! Somthing that I will also add here, I have a child from a previous relationship that lives with me, he also has other children but they don't live with us, and there has also been a lot of distance between them, and that is a big issue with all of this as well, I think that he is scared about the whole responsibility about having another child. I say that I think he is scared, but yet he doesn't come out and say it. He says he wants to be there for me and the baby if things don't work out and that is great!! When I did tell him that I wanted a divorce, maybe he wasn't expecting me to say it, I am not sure...I have asked him "is this what you want?" and he just sat silent, I said "why aren't you saying anything, he says "I don't know" I said "you don't know why you aren't saying anything, or you don't know if this is what you want?" he didn't say anything for a minute then said ...."I don't know if this is what I want......." then said "yeh just do it" So in my head I am thinking, "well what do you want? if nothing is going on like you say, then why haven't you come home.....to spend time with me....instead you are staying out longer and longer....." So anyways, I don't know what to do, one part of me just wants to go ahead and separate, because I need to worry about my health making sure me and the baby are okay and that my son is okay as well....but another part of me wants to work things out.....I want him back in my life....I want him here when I have the baby.....I want to be a family again!!! I just want to say to him..... "what would you say that I forgive you for what you have or haven't done....I want to work things out?" Am I just completely nuts or what?????? I can't just jump into his head and see what is going on....and I can't just sit him down and talk to him and tell him how I feel because he isn't here. I can call him and talk to him, but the things that I have said that I want to say to him, I don't think they need to be said on the phone. Course he may not want to come back, so if I ask him to come back he may not even consider it. We have talked a lot in the past couple days, just chatting about things that are going on....and I told him I wasn't in a hurry on filing the paper work for divorce, if it happens it happens, there are other things that we needed to worry about before we actually did that...... he asked me "well you have already said that you were filing" and did say that I was going to do it but, I was mad and hurt when I found out the things I found out....if it don't happen right away well.....we will work on it, I told him I am going to live day to day and what ever happens happens...I do care what goes on. So anyways, if anyone has any insight on any other this, any advice at all..... please send it my way!! Thanks!!

Hello everyone, I have had a lot of problems with my marriage and right now I am at the toughest spot I could ever be at. I am almost on the verge of getting a divorce!! I have been married for a little over two years, I am 7 months pregnant, and recently we have decided, well he has mainly decided that we need some time apart. Well he has been working out of town and staying nights out of town as well. So he has been spending time away from home, away from me, and according to him it is because he needs time away "to get that happiness back in our marriage" so he says okay!! I recently found out that there possibly may be a woman involved. Let's just say long story short that I guess in my heart that I have to make a really important decision. I have to decided weather or not to truly believe in my husband. He says there isn't anything going on and I have talked to this "other woman" and she says that nothing is going on as well, which if there was something going on I don't know why she would lie about it, I mean what the heck is she going to gain right? right....? Or maybe I shouldn't believe either one of them, I don't know what to do. My thing is that, if there is somthing going on and I say "well I believe you" then later on if things do work out between me and him then who's to say that he will think "well shoot, I got away with it before, I can do it again" Because like I said, weather we are together or not, he works out of town a lot. I guess I have to decide that for my self, but if anyone has any advice for me....please.....please... send it my way!! I also have another one to throw out here....I have told him that I want a divorce, maybe he wasn't expecting me to say it, I am not sure...I have asked him "is this what you want?" and he just sat silent, I said "why aren't you saying anything, he says "I don't know" I said "you don't know why you aren't saying anything, or you don't know if this is what you want?" he didn't say anything for a minute then said ...."I don't know if this is what I want......." then said "yeh just do it" So in my head I am thinking, "well what do you want? if nothing is going on like you say, then why haven't you come home.....to spend time with me....instead you are staying out longer and longer....." So anyways, I don't know what to do, one part of me just wants to go ahead with the divorce because I hate playing games, but another part of me wants to work things out.....I want him back in my life....I want him here when I have the baby.....to be a family again!!! I just want to say to him..... "what would you say that I forgive you for what you have or haven't done....I want to work things out?" Am I just completely nuts or what?????? I also think maybe there isn't anything going on, this is just an excuse to be away from me because he truly wasn't happy here, so if I ask him to come back he may not even consider it. I know I am asking for advice here and I don't have all the facts, but this is mainly it so... please if anyone has any advice........any at all, send it my way!!!! Thanks!

Hello all!! I have put a few posts on here already, here goes another!! I have been married a little over two years now and I am currently 6 months pregnant! I really love my husband, but I feel that he doesn't want to spend any time with me. He works full time, days, and over night shift as well, and I am working part time days. I feel like the spark we used to have is totally gone, there is not even a little light to shine. I feel that my husband has either fallen out of love with me, or somthing. I don't believe he is cheating on me, or at least I hope he isn't!! He works long hours and sleeps long hours as well. I do understand the whole work thing, he is tired from working long hours, so he sleeps, then when he wakes up, he is around long enough to eat, hang out for a bit, then off to work, or off to a friends house to hang out! Like I said, I don't believe he is cheating on me, but there is somthing going on, what it is I don't know. I have talked to him about this several times, he says "I can't just sit around the house, it's boring" Well him saying that, is saying that I am boring and he doesn't like to spend time with me. Yes I do understand it is boring to just sit all day long, but there are things we can do together and we don't. I have made sugestions, lets go do somthing together, wheather it is just driving around, or going to the store together or somthing. He never wants to. I have asked a question like this in the past, I really don't want to hear "give him some attention" because I do that, "give him compliments" I do that too!! Please if anyone has any sugestions, please send them my way, I am at my witts end here, I don't know what else to do!! And like I said before, I am 6 months pregnant and I love him so much, and I want this to work, if he isn't around for me now, who is to say that he is going to be around for his baby! P.S. I don't want this question to sound selfish, I just want some help, I know it is both of us that needs help, but, I have asked him, and he says nothing. And I do know it takes to to make a marriage and I feel like I have tryed so hard, and not getting anywhere!! Maybe if I go about it a different way, so if anyone has any sugestions to how I can go about making things better, please let me know!! Thanks!

Hello there, I put a question on here a while back and things aren't getting any better, if anything, I feel they are getting worse. I have been married a little over two years and recently found out we are going to have a baby. I just feel like we aren't married anymore, we don't have make love hardly anymore, we hardly ever spend any time together, we can't have a normal conversation with out arguing about somthing, maybe I am just being paronoid, as my husband says. But I just feel that things are going to have to change soon or I don't see this relationship going anywhere but down, further down then it is already. Can anyone help, I really want this marriage to work, like I said I really really love him, and he says he loves me as well. I just don't know what to do! I have tryed to make him understand what I am feeling, but nothing seems to change, does anyone have any ideas for me? Thanks!

Hello, I have been married for two years and we are going to have a baby in about 5 months. I want to know some of you opinions on my situation. When we first started going out together just like every other relationship it was great, we got married fast, and maybe it was too fast, I don't know. Well now we are married, and like I said going to have a baby and I am afraid of this relationship going down the drain. We hardly have sex anymore, I think he would rather look at porn on the net, who knows maybe I am wrong. He checks out women on the net all the time, porn I mean, it isn't like he is meeting women I understand these girls aren't going to just hook up with my husband, or he is going to hook up with these girls, that's not it. I just don't understand if he doesn't want to be with me, having sex, then why the heck is he checking out naken chics on the net. I don't know maybe I am over reacting, when I ask him about it, he says "oh honey, you are just over reacting, we don't have to have sex every night" but that's it, it isn't every night that I want it, but when you are only have sex maybe 2 to 3 times a month and your suposable love one is checking out porn on the net, what is wrong with this picture? I have even asked him that, and he says the same thing, "you are over reacting" I don't know, maybe if he really does love me he would quit, who knows!! I just feel like we are growing further and further apart, I don't make this "the mission of the day" to find out why we aren't having sex or why he is distant, but I do feel like he should be honest with me, and I have tryed to talk to him several times about alot of different stuff, and I get no where, maybe we need a break from each other maybe we need to break up for good. I don't know!! If anyone has any advice for me, please send it my way!! Thanks!