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russia

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Everything posted by russia

  1. russia
    Tina doesn't look too keen about you. i guess you not having money is a big deal with most women. presents can't keep a woman happy knowing she may have to support you the rest of the way. silence is a way to show rejection. if she was interested, she'd have contacted you already. or maybe she's travelling?
  2. russia
    something tells me you are not financially stable. this is a serious setback for you. a woman with a young child is looking for someone to look after them. her ex seems like someone who can. right now, for her, dreams (ex) look better than reality (you). anyway, since history is repeating itself with you, you should take a closer look at yourself and identify what is causing it.
  3. russia
    you have good suggestions, so i suggest you act on them. ask her for some guidelines to hang on. the once a week thing should be fine and fair if she needs to talk to a counsellor, you may want to encourage her
  4. russia
    you onto a good thing, mate. good luck!
  5. russia
    even if you want to be with her, she probably wouldn't want you anymore, since you were the one who broke up with her. 7 months on, she probably has another boyfriend already. if distance wasn't the problem in the past, it certainly is now. and that's not hard to understand, cos until you have been close to someone, you never know the feeling. and once you have been close, you don't want to part again. she's just being sensible about that. which means you are not really that important to her cos if you are, the distance and waiting wouldn't matter although you have been close and long for that closeness all the time
  6. russia
    try saying this every day: i don't want to ever fall in love again and then go ahead and enjoy yourself, minus love thoughts, doing stuff you like life is too short to mope. if the people you meet are too busy for you, find others who are just right.
  7. russia
    well, you are just starting out in life, so i will just offer two advice this first one is not even my own! i read it from a recent SHE magazine (now that's a brit mag). i paraphrased it as follows: flaunt it while you can. one day you will be 40 and flabby. then, your spirit will be willing, but the body is weak (or fat) the 2nd one is mine. no regrets. if you show yourself on the internet, you should know the price you pay. if one day you should find yourself in love with someone who cannot accept your 'exposed' past, it will be too late for regrets. so open your eyes, pay the price, and never regret.
  8. russia
    you have to realise that a real relationship is not the same as a virtual one. just cos you hit if off virtually, and then that one meeting, is no guarantee it will work out in real life. so she is scared. she is attracted to your virtual personality, which everyone knows, is never the real you. she already has a bird in the bush (boyfriend) with a firm future. why chuck it for someone like you? until both of you are real to each other in the virtual world, you are never going to win her over. cos you don't have the chance at the real thing as she is going to uni soon. however, as i am one who has gone through this before, i can say that when the 2 of you stop being virtual but real in your virtual world, your crush will turn into real love too. how do you stop being virtual. it means, don't pretend. if something isn't you in real life, don't do it in the virtual. and of course, she will also pretend. so it takes some time and lots of sharing and love and confidence before both your virtual armor is removed to expose the real persons it's going to take a lot of effort, believe me. if i had a choice, i'd go the real path instead. meet a real girl and take her out on dates. WYSIWYG
  9. russia
    here's the logical man's point of view: A - you still like her B - she still likes you A + B = good enough to try again C - she is playing hard to get good question. this beats any logic i know. guess that's why we are guys and not girls. it's not like you two haven't been there before, so why the push off? and she says she wants to be passionate. maybe you are trying to continue where you left off, and she wants to be wooed all over again. that's my best guess.
  10. russia
    gotta face facts. she out of your life. learn from it and avoid making the same mistakes again. 1. you are obviously not going to make it in long distance relationships. make sure your next woman lives close by 2. and you have to decide if your kids come first or your lover. if kids come first, forget about re-marrying unless your kids force you to! 3. finally, choose some one financially stable, if it's at all possible to predict that in the current economic situation! so look on the bright side, man. you are out of one really messy situation!
  11. russia
    don't say i didn't warn you. if you keep close ex-gf, you will find it hard to get a new gf that won't get jealous. keep reading this forum and you will know what i mean.
  12. russia
    don't let the marriage bit faze you. it actually talks about a concept called a love bank, which is how you maintain a relationship, meeting each others needs and not just what you think the other party needs cos that's what you need. and covers the reason why people divorce/break up
  13. russia
    looks like a clear-cut sex-for-love case to me. what do the others think? the evidence lies in his complete reversal of his viewpoints and that it came so quickly, the minute you decided to leave him. (no sex no love no win)
  14. russia
    i think if the relationship ended badly, there's no friendship cos too much collateral damage. you think she owes you big time for 'maintaining the relationship' and she probably feels the same! ah, what's the point? easier to live and let go. your next gf will thank you for sparing her the pain of having to be nice to your ex-lover-now-friend. but there's no need to hate. just let go and get on with your life.
  15. russia
    don't hate pete. cos he is higher up the ladder than you anytime. you are not even in the position to be jealous! first get yourself closer to her. which is practically mission impossible since you are disqualified by faith differences. you don't know her character cos you don't know her God. and you can't be yourself, you say? that's normal during the initial courtship phase. you don't know her well, she doesn't know you well. so err on the side of politeness. by now, you should know what she wants to talk about. and if you can't talk those same topics, find some other common ground, or you really become history (nothing in common!) as for faith, hey, if you're desperate, you're desperate. last resort, confess your sins, and repent and accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour. at least, then, if you still don't get the girl, you got a better deal. you got Him! God isn't so mean as to reject you cos He's treated as a last resort. at least you were desperate enough to turn to Him. lots of people are too smart to ever see the need to be saved.
  16. russia
    if he's a real soulmate, he's yours. even if you have to take another year or twenty to get hitched. but i think you are blindsided by people's comments, and not actually sensing his responses to you. in other words, i don't think he's your soulmate. just that he's probably the first guy that met your needs for romance. if he's your soulmate here and now, he won't be saying what he said. he's just your ideal guy. but you may not be his ideal girl. but because of his 'nice' nature and your pre-disposition to him, the two of you look like a real couple and that just adds fuel to the confusion. so while it's not there, if you really like him, then find a way to keep on communicating with him, however far apart. but do try to keep pleasure and business separate. cos it's a world perception that admires men who can mix it up, but not women
  17. russia
    do you know if he like girls who take the initiative in a relationship? if you know he does, then make that move on him. cos he'll take forever to make the first move. heck, i am falling asleep reading about it here! if not, then it's pretty useless nothing is going to happen. you might want to use your friends to influence him, or talk to his friends to get some help. or else just trap him. if you know where he is going to be, dress up real nice (yet appropriate for the occasion) and then stay still, but give encouragement in eyes and smile, and let him do the moving.
  18. russia
    an experiment is when 2 persons decide to try something out. a relationship is when they stop experimenting and really start planning and living together. did you 2 talk about your feelings, hopes, dreams, and plan your short term goals and long term future together? if you didn't, it's just an extended fling. and if he hasn't been with gays in the past and none after you, then he was just sucked into a comfortable place for a while. when it became uncomfortable, he got out, as he always did. when sex is just an act and not a component of a loving relationship, it's hard to define it as gay. just physical satisfaction. that would be the equivalent of eating a good bar of chocolate.
  19. russia
    i am positive you need to read "his needs her needs" not being flippant but it will tell you why you are where you are, and why she won't come back. and also some tips on whether it's possible to get back together.
  20. russia
    his mom and your deceased dad may be best friends, but that's them, not the next generation (you and him) frankly, things look fuzzy still. a long phone call doesn't mean anything at this stage. him and her are still in the 'like' stage. anything can happen. so give yourself a chance, and go for him yourself. better late than never. and if the boy you like doesn't like you back, that's life.
  21. russia
    your bf is too inconsiderate. if he has any brains, he'd be the one finding topics you can talk about. after all, you can't be fluent in english if you never speak!!! of course, you can also be a little proactive and give him some ideas of topics you'd like to talk about. or even just talk about your feelings with him, so he knows what's causing your tongue getting stuck in the back of your throat have you tried karaoke with your bf? it's great cos you're not talking, but you're not quiet anymore. and a private booth's great for extra-curricular activities. (hahaha. i love using big words. they never get censored by the enotalone script) and choosing songs to sing together get you talking. of course, forget it either of you can't sing. then you can carry this sing-a-long attitude on road tapes. get cds and tapes of songs you both love. as you sing, you will naturally overcome your shyness at chatting. singing with your loved one is very intimate.
  22. russia
    tough luck, man. money talks and you're out. i think she would probably have no problems being with you if she didn't have money. once it's money, then money only talks to money, and since you have no money, no deal. her family probably talked her out of you. there's no way (ok. maybe 0.01% chance she'll return to you) the 2 of you are going to happen now. what happens after you both graduate, is another story altogether. maybe she'll accept you then, i don't know. the crystal ball tells me she'll probably marry rich cos she's used to creature comforts. now to extricate yourself. if you can transfer out to a nearer school so that you don't have to live alone or whatever, or else move to a domitory. i don't know if you can still get it at short notice. she's really unfair to you. i don't know if you want to hang in there or switch schools. but since your subjects are nothing special, you may want to save yourself the hassle of switching school, unless you can't stand the sight of her anymore. you can always blame yourself (no money), her (chicken) or her family (got money) or face facts and go on with life with what you have. surely a woman will come along who will accept you for what you are (the rich are few and far between, so your chances are good)
  23. russia
    you can't expect a needy person like him to abandon his pals for you when you are only there for him on the weekends. of course, he's got problems, but he's gotta realise it himself. no use telling him cos he'd just get mad with you. then again, most guys are sedentary. we get into ruts and we like it. that's why we do routines. they are safe and regular. monday night football, friday night pubbing. girlfriend on the weekends, stuff like that. women, on the other hand, just come from a totally different planet. they want to talk, and do stuff. and we are just trying to catch up most times. so the trick is to leave him be on the weekdays cos you can't change that and you shouldn't. if you have to say sorry to him, do it. cos nobody should change anybody. if you don't like what you took in, you can always take it right out again. of course, if you are thinking long term, you may want to seriously consider the relationship again. of course, in a permanent situation, some things will change, and he might even do it on his own. weekends, you have a right to how the time is spent. and so does he. so negotiate - what's important, necessary, urgent, etc. and look for common interests so he's not forced and you're not bored. hope he cools down and takes you back. or you might have 2nd thoughts and take off!
  24. russia
    you're already moving, so keep on going. just pop a casual question when you're at the library, like, "after the finals, would you like to unwind, and catch together?" or something equivalent. in the meanwhile, just keep chatting, just keep meeting up for studies. studying together is a great way to keep in touch. text messages of encouragement just before the exam is also a useful touch.
  25. russia
    not being sarcastic. i mean it. there has to be a level of security in him to let you check his email. so if he lets you, it means he's willing for you to see everything in it. so don't get too worried about reading his email. he wants you to! and everyone gets influenced, according to how much he or she believes in something in the first place. if he's shakey about you, then more influences against you along that line will sway him. if he isn't, then that's just noise to him. so i won't worry about it. cos he loves you (see paragraph 2)
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