ice7990

actually, i moved to japan for her. she already lives here. she is japanese. i keep thinking that it was maybe pressure that drove her away and made her have feelings for him again. the pressure of getting married to me. she knew that my visa is about to expire and that her parents kept asking her when is she going to marry me. i know that might all change cause i am trying to get my visa extended. if this happens, then i know there wont be that pressure anymore. its just that from where i am sitting, i can see all the strikes against this guy and hoping that it will come into play and maybe she will be able to see it too. i mean, he may have been the love of her life in the past and she truly did love him for the 5 years that they went out but he was the one who left her for another woman while they were going out. he may not have actually slept with her, i dont know, but he did find someone and started seeing her while they went out after they broke up the first time and she tried so hard to get back. she later had to set him free. but the strikes i am talking about now is that he lives in another city from where she is, about 4 hours by bullet train, he has met her son once but when they first me, he told her that the son doesnt even look like him and was worried about how other ppl might think. her father doesnt like him because of how he hurt her so badly. he is japanese and she told me that she doesnt like to date japanese men cause of how they think and now that he has been back here for over 7 years, he prob has changed alot since the time they were going out and settling back in the japanese way. they met while they were both living in hawaii. her friends tell me that he prob wont take care of her son and love him as well as i did cause thats how japanese men are, esp towards a son that isnt even his. she has always told me that she doesnt want to live in japan and that she wants to raise her son in another country, and knows that i can move anywhere cause im not a japanese citizen but canadian. 7 years is a long time to be apart and i know that she has changed alot as well, since i have met her. that this might come into play here and that it wont be as if they were going out again. and she has a child this time around. that maybe she is trying to get something back that is only in the past. and her friends have told me that she hasnt done anything yet about these feelings cause she isnt ready yet, with all that work and stress she has. she told me that she cant take me back and her heart cant accept my feelings cause she has feelings for the ex. i keep hoping that she is still confused and doesnt really know wat she wants, but she knows how i feel and how i love her and her son very much.

i really need a womans perspective on this one. its been 7 years since they broke up and now she starts to develope feelings again for him. from everything that her friends have told me, he wont take care of her son as well as i did cause he is japanese. that she doesnt like dating japanese men and that her ex has been back in japan for over 7 now and prob changed alot since the time they were going out. when they were going out, she didnt have a child and now things will be very different. if things dont work out and her son isnt happy or she can see how he has changed and remember that it was him that cheated on her and left her, will she think about the happiness that we had, the way i always made her feel special and how happy her son is with me. will she remember the love that was there and how much i still love her now. do these even come to play and do women realize that happiness when things dont work out?? wat im trying to ask is, will she come back to me when things dont work out or go looking for another. the thing i know about her is that she told me that isnt the type to go looking cause she has her son's happiness to worry about. wat do you ladies think???

a question for the future...ppl change. during the 7 years of her break up with her ex, im hoping that he isnt the same person that she loved from the past and only trying to rekindle something from the past. i guess she cant see that he was the one that broke up and left her, she has feelings for him again. now if things dont work out and she does come back to me realizing it was a mistake, i will marry her and and take her back without a doubt. should i propose to her right away because of how strong my feelings are for her? i know i want to spend the rest of my life with her and she knows how much i love her. i dont want to lose her again and know i want to marry her. is that too much??

well, today is the day. 1 year ago we told each other how we felt for each other and we became the happiest ppl around. we completed each other that day and found love when we least expected. we didnt know wat was going on and was scared of our feelings but we told each other and became whole and became one. now i celebrate this day alone, thinking of that day as clearly as it was yesterday. remembering every moment we talked and every word that we said. that was the beginning of my happiness and hers as well. now, i hold on to memories and hope for that day to come back again. we both filled the hole that we had in our hearts that day and now, i am left with a hole again. i have given her my heart and she now still holds my heart. i dont even think she knows wat day this is or how important this day is anymore. the thought prob hasnt even crossed her mind since she has no feelings for me anymore. its going to be a very depressing day to feel the way i feel now and not have the one that i love with me to hold and profess me love for her again.

from everything i have read, i still dont know wat to believe. they say that absense makes the heart grow fonder. that the dumper will think about the dumpee. but how can that be true if her feelings are for another. if when she said that she doesnt love you anymore and isnt attracted to you anymore, because she has feelings for another now...do you really think that she is still thinking of you??? of the good that you had and the love that was always there??

thats all i can really do now is change the faults that i know she has mentioned to me. become a better person, for myself, for her and her son. i know that i will never lose the love for her and will always continue to think of her. but all i have now is hope. and hope that she can see the changes in me, even tho her feelings are for someone else. realize what she is doing and hopefully come back to me. and hope that if i get the extension and stay in japan, it will make a dif in her feelings and about us. funny huh...i pray ever nite for her to come back and for God to answer my prayers. just last nite, i decided to send God an email with my prayers hoping it will get to him and that he answers it. just wishfull thinking alot of hope there.

i really hope that you are right about a womans mind. at least this will give me alittle more hope. cause i truly love her and i dont want to lose her in my life. like i said, our anniversary is coming up (one of many that i have remembered) and i hope that she thinks about it when the day comes. and remember why she chose me and how we found each other and ourselves. and i know that her parents want her to move to and raise her son in another country outside of japan. i know her mom only wants her to be happy but would still like her to move and her dad just doesnt like the ex. at least with me, they both love me and have accepted me into their family and as a son. i dont think she even sees that either.

im still in japan just waiting for the answer from immigration. im really hoping that everything that i have done and am still doing now will have some affect on what she decides to do or change her feelings some how, even tho i know or heard that once a womans mind and heart is made up, there is no changing it unless something drastic happens. yes, he is just waiting, and so am i. i have kept up the NC unless she starts but i have not talked to her or seen her and just waiting for the results and then tell her wat is happening. i know that everything i write to her or say to her will have no effect and she already knows how i feel and everything i am willing to do, for us now, for her son and our future. i just have to keep on hoping and praying. im the kind of guy who remembers all the special days that we had and the moments. our 1 year anniversary of the day we found out about how we both feel about each other and the day she said i love you to me is coming up this mon. i dont even think she will even think about it or it even has crossed her mind. i remember that day so clearly, the day she told me she loved me and started crying cause she couldnt contain it anymore and didnt know what to do or say anymore and i told her i felt the same way and i have from the beginning but was too scared to say anything. not that day is coming and i cant even say anyting about it. i hate this. and there is nothing i can do.

the old ex is japanese but she told me that she doesnt even like japanese men, prob since her ex. and her parents love me. they already gave me their blessing and kept asking her when she is going to marry me. that she should just marry me now and move to canada. even her friends tell me that she doesnt like japanese men and that her ex still think japanese and they are saying that he might not treat her son as well as i did cause he is. they know how much i love him and take care of him and have told her that. and from what her friends tell me, she hasnt hooked up yet and is not ready but they also told me that her ex is waiting but not going to ask her until she is. thats wat im afraid of. im hoping that if i can get my visa soon, that may relieve some of the pressure of marrying me right away and give us more time. im hoping cause i knw pressure had someting to do with it too, even tho she never said it.

im already doing the NC. i leave it all up to her to contact me. i never initiate it unless she emails me or IM me. i have asked but i was very emotional that nite. she said cultural difference cause im from canada and she is japanese, but she knows better cause she has lived in the states for half her life and has a western way of thinking too. as well, im living in japan so im learning everyday. she said personality and different ways of thinking but i know i have changed all that in the past from my last gf and am a different person from the past. all my friends have told me that and even my ex from the past has seen the changes and know that i can change when i know how important something is to me. i have told my ex that too. i also told her that we may have these differences cause we didnt have great communication and that was a fault on both our parts. i know and have told her that if we spend more time with the one we love, those differences will become one and wont clash. and that some differences only makes the relationship grow stronger cause you learn more about the person. even she knows that i can change and knows how hard im trying to change but she cant accept my feelings now. she knows how hard i work at everything i do and am trying very hard to stay in japan. but i just dont think she can see that right now or even thinking about wat we had or could have if she took me back, for her and for her son. even last nite, i think i may have made a mistake when she asked how my day was. i think i gave off too much info saying how i was really busy, stressed out with school and studies and working my *** off. maybe i should have given her less info cause she never replied when i asked her how she was doing. i dont expect her to respond but would feel better if she did so that i know i didnt sound like i was complaining...something else she once said was that i complain too much. besides this, i dont know what else made her feel these feelings for her ex and decide to leave me for only feelings. and i think i already have closure. i only want her back now and want to be the man that she deserves, the man that has always treated her with love and made her feel special. cause my feelings will never change for her and only grow stronger. i have no doubts on that. i just wish she can see that and take me back.

no clues at all. just that she and her friend had hired him to do their webpage for them and that was when it all started. from there, the feelings started and she later told me after she broke up with me a month later. she said that she doesnt know where it will lead cause now that the webpage is done, she isnt ready to do anyting. her friends tell me that she is still not doing anything. yes, he was the love of her life long ago, but he cheated on her and didnt love her anymore. but she never expressed any issues with me. and she didnt leave any clues. all i know was that my visa was coming close and she was feeling the pressure from that and her parents about marrying me but i have been trying so hard to get past that and get the visa renewed so that i can stay without us getting married. she even asked me about that yesterday when she emailed me to thankme for helping her with some work that she was stressing over and asked for my help. im hoping that i get the visa but i dont know will that make a dif with us since she has these feelings for him. i just wish that she can see past these feelings that she has and see what happened with them in the past and see all the strikes that are there now. that she can see all the good and love that i have for her and her son as well as her family and all the things that i do to make her feel special and like a princess. she always said i treated her like that but cant even see it now cause of these feelings. i dont even know if she can still see all the good we had and happiness we had right now cause of these feelings.

even just yesterday after i helped her, she emailed me to thank me for helping her with her work and asked me how my progress is going. i told her that my papers are at the immigration right now and that its up to them. she then replies, lets just hope for a good outcome. later that nite, i went to her place to drop off some stuff i bought for her family while i was away. i emailed her saying that i dropped off some stuff cause i know it wouldnt be a good idea to see her. when i got home, she emails me to say thankyou and that i should have told her that i was coming over so that she could greet me and then asked how my day was. i emailed back saying that i didnt want to bother her cause i know how much work she has and that i am very stressed out with work now and that i am looking forward to the holiday coming up. i know this email and her unblocking me from her msn doesnt mean anything, just her thanking me for the gifts. i bought some chocolates for her son cause i know that here in japan, there is no halloween and that i wanted him to enjoy halloween and i told her that too. she told me that i brought the chocolate at the right time cause she was having cravings for sweets. and i bought some stuff for her mom cause i remembered that her mom mentioned about this long time ago. even last month, i knew that she was having this concert to sing at and i sent her flowers for goodluck. she emails me to thank me and says that they really helped cause she was feeling really nervous and getting the flowers really made her feel better. i told her that goodluck and that i still care and i would support her in anything that she does. im not trying to manipulate her in anyway, but i still care about her and her family. i just hope that i didnt come off wrong and that she really did see the sincerity in my gifts and from wat she heard happened on my vacations from her friends. holding on to hope that she can see the things and actions that i have done and am still doing now cause of how much i love her and still want to make her feel special and like a princess, the way i have always treated her. i know i may not change the way she feels for her ex but i keep hoping that she can remember why they brokeup and remember how i treated her and love her again.

i still dont understand why she left me. maybe im just analyzing this too much, but i just cant get over it. i mean, i spent almost a year with her and her son. shown them both love and happiness. she knows how much i love them and her son loves me too and thinks of me as his family. he doesnt have a father and i have always been the father to him since i met him. yet, she leaves all that for her ex that broke up with her 7 years ago because she all of a sudden has feelings that resurfaced again. its hard to understand. she's 35 and her son is 4. they both know that i want to be with them and love them so much, even tho he isnt even my son. her ex has never spent any time with him, and isnt his father either. she says that her son is the most important person to her and his happiness means everything and i have done everything a father would for his son and more. i have told her many times that i want to be his father and i love him like my own son. even her friends could see how much i love and care for him like no other. i just dont understand why she cant see that and would leave me for past feelings.

well, the story so far... i just got back from a little vacation and i went to visit my ex's friends in guam. had a good time and relaxed alot. had a chat with them and asked them if they thought that we are good together and they both said yes. they saw a side of me that they didnt see the first time we met on holidays cause my ex had just broken up with me then. they saw me laugh, play and seeing almost the person that i am cause im still not 100% happy yet but they did notice it. they told me that my ex still has feelings for her past ex but hasnt done anything about it cause she isnt ready yet. my ex had told them that i blocked her on my msn but i had to tell them that it was her that blocked me first. i realized how immature that was and i unblocked her and when i got back, she unblocked me and IM me, saying i hope you had a good time. that she feels guilty that i didnt have a good time on our last vacation. so yesterday, she IM me again saying how she is stressed out with this work that she is doing. i offer my help and helped her finish it which i hope made things easier for her. i told them that how can we be friends and get closer if she is blocking me. we will only drift apart and since her and her ex are still communicating, they will only get closer. i also told them that if she is stressed, that i can help like i always have, to relax her and help her in anyway, cause i care about her too much to see her like that. im sure her friends told her wat happened while i was away and how much i still love her and miss her and her son. they also told me that they have never seen anyone take care and love her son the way i do, esp since he isnt even mine and doesnt know how her ex will be compared to me but has told me that her son is the most important person to her and his happiness comes before all, and they know how much i love him. im still not going to contact her but i can only hope that she thinking of me and what her friends had told her about wat i said and did. not sure if this will get her thinking again or not. all i got from her friends was that this is only a feeling that she has for her ex cause she loved him so much in the past and wanted to marry him. but he was the one who cheated on her and fell out of love with her, hurt her and that her father doesnt like him cause of what he did. i only hope that she thinks more about that now and realize that she has someone here who would never do that to her and would always love her and her son the way i always have.

i know that it may not work out if they do come back. im just looking for some hope in my situation. trying to get some knowledge on how long did it take some ppl for their ex to just come back to them, realize that they made a mistake and wanted them back. at least its a start. for me, its quite important to find a new beginning with my ex cause she was my fiance, and she has a son that i love so much. i would take her back in a second and marry her without any hesistation.