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russia

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Everything posted by russia

  1. russia
    it's a pain to have a underaged friend tag along on your bar quest, so you should do the bar trip alone or go with your peers. besides, you don't want the girls you chat up, when they want to go to the bar (which is why they are there in the first place) find out that your friend can't drink! instead, there should be lots of places that a 18-year old can go, that you can tag along and score with the younger girls.
  2. russia
    enjoy being a geek. playing chess beats trying to score with chicks anytime. you know the rules, you play by the rules in chess. if you want chicks, then you gotta either attract them by sheer animal magnetism (so they just flock to you, you don't have to do anything except maybe play football as quarterback) or else you learn how to push their buttons (as most casanovas do). common guys try their luck and get bashed all the time. cos we didn't take "communication with girls 101" like the experts did. when you breakup, there's going to be some bad blood so accept the bad rap she's giving you. some of it is bound to be true, unless she's completely evil. if she's really evil and none of the rumors are justified, you might want to do some serious thinking about who are the girls you like, man. which brings me to courtney, this bimbo gal you like. i suggest you keep her at a distance. she's not good for you and you know it. men always get suckered into the beauty trap. i'm here to save you from a fate worse than death! stay away from her! she's bad news, brother! but if you want a girlfriend just for sex, then ok. if she's not on speaking terms, just give her a card or letter. if she exposes it, make sure it's material you can live with. make opportunities to be with her alone so you can chat. then just treat her real good (sweet words, smiles, little presents - a rose is nice), that'll make her fall head over heels with you and you can do what you like with her.
  3. russia
    well, who's idea was it in the first place? if the boy started it, then he's got to uphold his part of the deal and handle his mom. if he quits cos it's HIS MOM, then he's not the boyfriend you need. if it was your idea, then you can always wait until he's a bit older. if he really likes you, he won't mind waiting for his freedom either. and he will automatically seek to show his mom that he's mature enough to start dating.
  4. russia
    how many girls would kill for your looks, but to end up stuck with a bimbo like him??? much better that some one likes you for your personality. lots of handsome men find it natural to make as many conquests as they can. after all, it's their god-given advantage. they can't help if if women flock to them, throw themselves at them. eventually, they may settle down, but are you the one? i think not. so enjoy the fun, don't take it so seriously, cos he sure isn't.
  5. russia
    rule #1. never cop out there's always something interesting to talk about. the reason nothing is interesting, is because you don't make the effort to find out what is interesting. can you see the logic here? if you don't make the effort, and you want a girl to mysteriously fall in love with you, provide subject matters of interest, and jump into your bed, it's pretty delusional. start conversing. start from something general, and then work down to specifics. how does that happen? as you talk, you listen real carefully, processing her words like mad while maintaining this cool composure (don't sweat it) and friendly face. ask open ended questions instead of yes and no. make sure you contribute to the subject matter (when it's still general, you should have some input). as you talk, zero in on the things that both you and she is interested in. sometimes you get it wrong, so you take a step back and move to another topic. learn, remember, move on. before long, you will have more topics to discuss than you have break time. resume conversation at dinner in a nice cozy restaurant with excellent food. you'll be amazed to have such incredible conversational skills you never had before. thank me.
  6. russia
    i think there is a certain level of satisfaction in hunting down your ex in online dating ads. i confess i might do the same if i were in your situation. print out the ad, hang it on the wall and throw darts at it, for extra value you might even want to put your excellent sleuthing skills to work at picking a gem out of the dating ads for your own personal satisfaction (ie. get yourself a date with a non-jerk) as for your job situation, is there some other career you might want to consider. or eat humble pie since you are currently jobless and take what you can find out in the market? a change of your work schedule may just take the edge off your need to read ads (ie. too tired after working the whole day)
  7. russia
    3 bad problems the first and worst: lack of communication skills. he will drive you nuts if you stay with him, unless he is willing to learn, and learn it and fast - ie. seek relationship counselling and communication skills. so far, he's never really spoken on a mature level with you. sure, things to be done, those anyone can talk and think of. but the things that he repeatedly does that hurt you? why isn't he aware and fixing those issues if he likes you a lot? the 2nd one isn't much better: immaturity. what makes him think a house and job makes a man mature? he's going to go through a few more cycles of immaturity before he is ready. if you can help him and he is willing to be helped, then there's hope. again, seek counselling the 3rd one is possibly bad or good: allergy to cats. either you give up cats or give him up. but the good news is, with the first 2 problems, you may never have to deal with this one. he's only taking the 'suffering' now. when he wins you, it's a different ball game. the cat goes. so is there any good that can come out of it? i guess he is scoring points with you with his very good behaviour right now. but can he keep it up? don't just settle for immediate results, cos character is what counts in the long run. you can't change him, so make sure you are getting a good enough man, or be prepared to accept him as he is.
  8. russia
    it's always easier for the person who initiated the breakup to move on. cos he already moved on a long time ago. you have been under his deception so your responses to sever the relationship will be much slower. if you knew then and there, when he stopped loving you, when he detested your treatment of him, you would be just as ready to break up and move on with your own life right now. how is it that most people never communicate when they are unhappy with the way they are being treated, except when it's already too late? if he was really in a relationship with you, he should have told you when he was treated badly by you. so you see, the relationship had become just an illusion. he was maintaining a facade until he finally broke it off. just make sure you get your fair share of the breakup now. and take your time to heal and mourn your 'loss'. maybe reflect on where you went wrong. how your good intentions were received so badly.
  9. russia
    tough luck. the man you are considering seriously is at odds with your friendships with other men. friends or lover? you have to decide. you can't change your not-yet-lover, yet if you keep your friends, you will eventually drive him away. keep him, and you will have zero male friends (except maybe those certified gay, or maybe even not if he is against gays too) so why not pick a lover from among your (non-gay) male friends? that way, you get to keep your males friends and a lover who may not object so much. (he will still object. men are possessive too)
  10. russia
    if it's a small town, the best way is to make friends and get introductions. then you know a bit of the man before you meet them. so don't be in a hurry to get yourself a man. make friends first. online dating is a bit too quick if you haven't done it before. try online chatting first. and of course, never reveal personal data (eg. full name, address, contact number, ids and passwords) on the internet until you are really sure of the other party. the last thing you need is a stalker. my personal experience with online dating is cool if both parties are just out for fun and sex, not looking for attachment. otherwise, chat until you know the person before dating.
  11. russia
    dear natalie, if you think you have moved on but he hasn't, then there's no sense of belonging. belonging means you move together. it's not a location thing, it's not a physical thing. it's relational it's not how emotionally mature you are, but accepting each other and feeling secure in each other's love and companionship if you are resentful of his lack of forward movement in the relationship, please reconsider your future with him very carefully. you can't really change him. you can only change yourself, your attitudes. and when you do that to suit him, will you like yourself still?
  12. russia
    there's no guarantee for love anyway. besides, men take time to mature. so the 10+ years gap is quite ok. go for it, but is she ready?
  13. russia
    2 ways then get a friend who knows her well to ask her directly or ask her close friends about how she feels for your friend
  14. russia
    looks good, she's legally an adult, so nothing to stop the 2 of you. since you have the money and she has youth. just curious about one thing. how much time do you spend together each day? if it's less than 1 hour each weekday, and less than 4 hours on the weekends, then i guess the relationship isn't anywhere near hot yet, cos you can do without being in each other's presense. lots of activities to keep you individually busy so long as nothing else gets in the way, things should progress as you talk more and more with each other. don't let the pics and stuff get in the way. she may be real cute, but if you can't talk, sooner or later she will follow the way of your first wife. don't make history repeat. make it better the 2nd time round when you can talk for hours on end on a daily basis, without having to rack your brain, and you're miserable without each other, then you've got it made. fly over and propose immediately.
  15. russia
    eh, why not just ask her?
  16. russia
    if you keep on flirting, something is bound to happen
  17. russia
    personally, being a rebound guy is great. but you have to move out of rebound, or else she will thank you and move on. as the rebound guy, you know all her frustrations. so check them off against yourself and make sure you do something about them. it's so much easier than having to find out your faults a few months/years later. you can make yourself look so much better in her eyes, and you have a head start on most men on loving their mates examine if you really love her. if you do, don't be afraid to lose your heart.
  18. russia
    i assume you have found another man who is ready to take you and the kids in. or are you self sufficient to be a single mom and raise the kids yourself? will he give you sufficient alimony and child support? if so, go. there's no love, just obligations. you still have a long life ahead of you. you've paid for your foolishness with 10 years of your life. i think that's long enough.
  19. russia
    a guy who never tells you he loves you in all the years together. that's definitely not an emotional guy, much less emotionally unstable. he's an emotional cripple, and you have a soft heart for needy people. or else it's great sex. i don't know. and it doesn't matter anymore. right now, count your blessings, and take time to forget your ex. just stop thinking you love him. love him as a human being, not a lover. your lover is now the wonderful man you have and hold. so enjoy the him you have now, or waste your life pining for that which never was
  20. russia
    this is a long distance relationship. 5 hours is not a small matter. even 2 hours is a pain. so she's thinking, is she going to be satisfied with just having you for the weekend. is she a weekend thing in your life. if you chat (phone or internet) every day and every night, plus the weekend travel, then she won't have this problem. the communication links keep her in touch with you. she knows you are not having fun outside, cos you are always having fun chatting with her every day. also, you need to tell her where the relationship is going. she doesn't so she decides to opt out. there's no security, is there? you didn't tell her like how you want to get married to her as soon as possible, and give her a date to look forward to, did you?
  21. russia

    Flirting 101

    russia replied to Sara002's topic in Dating Advice

    as a guy, i can definitely say, it's looks first, then interest. so dress appropriately: tattoo, piercing and chains and stuff for biker dudes, skimpy sporty attire for the jocks, feminine for the nerds. and sexy for the right occasions, like parties and dances as for interest, eyes that say "i'm available and interested in YOU" and a great smile helps. you hold him in your eyes for that moment just a bit longer than a casual glance. not stare, not drool. you need to practise nice, regulated blinking of the eyes in an eye contact situation. of course, body language helps. the usual looking only at him and not the other guys, crossing your legs at the ankles while sitting to show off your legs, or crossing your legs at the knee and pointing your top leg at him, leaning towards him or touching him lightly on the hands or thighs, all that helps him make up his mind. ENJOY!
  22. russia
    well, at least she knows you very well now. the least you can do is to ask her back those questions. and if she doesn't like you, then that's that. you have to accept the bare (intentional pun here) facts. next time, never do these stuff without checking first. i never give real info out on the internet, unless i want someone out there to know i am real.
  23. russia
    ok. here's the bad news first. nothing is going to happen when you go to pubs with that loser attitude. girls go for confidence. even if you are shy, you have to show that you are not shy, just the quiet sort. but think she's something special and so make the effort to contact her. how do you build confidence and fight shyness? by thickening your skin. some girls are going to like you, many are going to reject you. if you start with that in mind, your odds for success already improve. if you continue to be afraid of rejection, then skip the rest of this msg ready for rejection? the thing is, it's personal, so don't take it too deep. look at it this way. the girl is a stranger, you're a stranger, so if you approach her and it doesn't work out, it's not like you lost a job or family member. ok? shrug it off and get to work on the next girl. you might want to do a bit of retrospective and see where you went wrong. sometimes, you didn't do anything wrong, she's just not interested. but if you have body odor or bad breath and you didn't do anything about it, then no one can help you get the girls. once you present yourself well, next, behave well. checking out the girls is not a problem, but don't keep checking them. you have to zoom in on a couple. make eye contact. if the girl looks back, give a nice warm smile. practise this in front of mirror and friends where possible. don't do dracula on fright night. if she smiles back, keep eye contact, and if she doesn't flinch, you can start to move in. the chatting bit is up to you. keep it clean, keep it balanced. don't hog and don't clam up either. so have a few current topics available. music, movies, studies, interests (not i like to watch tv the whole day, sporty stuff is quite safe, like tennis or swimming. yeah, esp swimming!). last but not least, never ever forget to get her number. if you don't, you'll never get a date. and always call her back the next day. otherwise, she'd have forgotten who you are.
  24. russia
    with his current job insecurity (since he anticipates returning to the city) he's not going to be in the right frame of mind for an engagement, much less a wedding. you will have to wait a long time. or else just live with him without expectation. even if you do so, you have to consider getting a job in the other location, cos it doesn't make sense to commute 2 hours each way a day. he certainly won't think it's causing you hardship, cos he's the one in pain now (yeah, he's a selfish pig) your past bad times have obviously strained your relationship. he loves you but has not been putting in the necessary effort to relate to you. otherwise, the bad times grow less with time, not more. maybe the fault is yours too. couples need to work on communication, and not just crisis management. i am glad you had a chance to seriously talk through after he recovered from his drinking (something to worry about here. he uses alcohol as a crutch. not good) and while you were over at his place, did you have a sense of belonging? did he make you feel you belong there, belong to him? if you did, then go with your feelings.
  25. russia
    lots of girls/women are in your situation. i should know, cos i am a guy. and i never have a single clue a girl likes me more than just as a friend, unless she does something about it (like tell me directly. anything less, i don't get it.). so if you keep on refusing to give hints, then some of the guys that should have been yours, will end up caught by other women. it's not flirting, cos you are not advertising yourself to everyone. but showing real interest in just one guy. if you are friendly to all the guys, then the guy you want won't get it. so withdraw from the rest, and give your guy some hints, and try and get him in a one-on-one situation (like private tuition) or being in the same activity/group so that he can appreciate you better
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