Jump to content

avman

Platinum Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    8,644

  • Joined

  • Days Won

    4

 Content Type 

Everything posted by avman

  1. avman
    Excellent! Enjoy being his assistant. That sounds like a great compromise. Then you will have no need to worry
  2. avman
    It sounds like you are definitely taking good steps in the right direction. You'll never go wrong electing to spend time with your kids. That's an investment that pays you back for the rest of your life. Now go have fun with those model rockets!
  3. avman
    geliki welcome to eNotalone. It does not sound to me like you are ready to make a decision one way or the other about the baby. So I think you should take at least a few days if not a couple of weeks to really think about this. Honestly after reading your story I do not think this guy is a decent guy. I'm sorry, if he's putting all the blame on you for the pregnancy and pressuring you for an abortion without any consideration for your feelings then I don't have any respect for him at all. He is JUST as responsible for this and a decent man would not be putting blame and pressure on you about this situation. I really think you should make the decision you feel is best. Do YOU want this baby? Regardless of whether this man is in your life or not, what do YOU want? If you feel you cannot abort the baby then DON'T DO IT. You are the one who has to be able to live with your decision - he doesn't. Don't let him pressure you into something that you don't want to do. Make the decision you feel is right. Then you can tell this man what your decision is. And stick to your decision. You said yourself you know you cannot be a Turkish wife so don't let that color your decision in any way. This man isn't going to be around so do what you feel is in the best interest of you and the baby.
  4. avman
    You will not be able to get your wife back right now. She has done what any of us would have advised her to under the circumstances. Of course she doesn't believe you. Three weeks does not make up for ten years of problems. She's going to need to see real substantive changes that last. Right now you just need to focus solely on yourself and your issues. Forget the flowers, candy, cards, love poems, and so on. Your actions are the key. Let AA help put you on the right path. Once you are there, then you can see about whether the relationship with your wife is salvagable.
  5. avman

    25 pounds

    avman replied to Gecko's topic in Personal Growth

    And it will help your depression too! Regular exercise and fresh air is fantastic for mental health. Pay no attention to the idiots who shout things. It doesn't matter what they think. It only matters what YOU think and feel. Congratulations on the weight loss and the fitness boost. You should be very proud.
  6. avman
    Your first post was quite clear, this happens when you are drinking. I see you've gone back and changed it now, but I remember what I saw. I stand by what I said - lose the alcohol. It is normal to have some sexual tension between opposite sexes but if you have control problems then do NOT add alcohol to the mix.
  7. avman
    Honestly I would wait until your baby is born and you've spent some time together before making this decision. You may very well change your mind military service, or you might be even more motivated. It's impossible to tell until you actually have that baby in your life day in and day out (no disrespect meant towards your pregnancy, it's just a much different thing once the baby is born).
  8. avman
    This one is easy - quit drinking. You are obviously having trouble controlling yourself so don't add alcohol to an already dangerous situation.
  9. avman
    Know yourself Know your accomplishments and be able to articulate them Know your weaknesses and be able to turn them into opportunities Know your management style and how you would react in certain situations - you will almost certainly be asked about it And finally, realize that the interview is also your only opportunity to get information. You should be asking nearly as many questions as they do when you are up to a management position. A good manager will want to know what they are getting themselves into.
  10. avman
    Why don't you attend the photo shoot so that you can see just how it goes? Then you will be in a better position to decide whether you can accept it or not. Like the others said, nudity is a pretty common art form. Your boyfriend would be limiting his career by refusing to do nude photography. As long as it is tasteful (and most of it is - I'm assuming we're not talking about pornography here) then there isn't anything directly sexual about what he would be doing. You'll have to decide for yourself, but I do still think you should attend a nude shoot or two and see just how non-intimate it really is. Some of the women who actually pose are a bit nervous or insecure too. Perhaps if you were there, they might feel more comfortable and everybody would benefit...
  11. avman
    Well I would just tell your boyfriend how you feel. Tell him that you understand that he really likes his friend and that you know they want to spend some time together, but that right now you are feeling a bit left out. Ask him for some special time just for the two of you, and then he can set aside some time just for him and his friend. I would definitely bring up the part about him and his friend walking off and leaving you alone and let him know how that feels for you. I doubt he realizes just how that affects you so talk to him about it. This shouldn't be an angry conversation or anything that would jeapordize your relationship. You just need to keep the communication flowing. Most importantly, do NOT make it a you vs his friend conversation. If you make him choose one or the other, it will not go well. Keep it strictly about how you really feel and what you need.
  12. avman
    Yes, it is worth it. But you must love yourself first and not hang all your hopes for happiness on someone else.
  13. avman
    You should really determine the value of the house now and settle on an amount. That will avoid any complications later when you actually sell. Of course, if you never want to sell I doubt she would wait forever for the money. Why not buy her out and take out a second mortgage that would pay her the 150k now? Then you can avoid all the messy issues years down the line, take the tax deduction for the interest that you pay, etc. This isn't quite right. The mortgage has absolutely nothing to do with the title to the house. In order to get her off the title she would need to sign a "quit claim" deed. This removes her from any interest in the property itself. The mortgage is totally another matter. And it's more a problem for her then it is for you. If for instance she signs a quit claim but you leave the mortgage the same and then you default on the mortgage, the mortgagor will come after her as a joint obligator to the loan. The mortgagor doesn't care who is on the title. They only care who is named on the loan.
  14. avman
    If you actually owed the money, then yes they could come back later and say you still owe the money. What they could not do is penalize you for the period between when you paid then and then they refunded you saying they made a mistake. They'd have to eat any interest charges and penalties because you had already tried to pay them in full.
  15. avman
    The Admins can change your username for you. Please PM me or email me at avman@enotalone.com
  16. avman
    I'll add my voice to the pile here. Your desire is a very noble one and I do so admire your wish to contribute and make a difference. But doing suicide hotline work is unbelievably draining and very taxing on the emotions. If you are not emotionally healthy it would not be wise to take on that role. Those moderators who have assisted me with possible suicide cases even on the forum will tell you just how much it takes out of you each and every time. You need to really be prepared and have a strong support system to tackle this. I would recommend some other alternatives where your MD will not really be much of an issue. And there are many of these. I work heavily in the scouting programs and we are always looking for people to help out. At your age you would be a terrific role model for many of the boys we have in our program and there are countless ways you can assist. You'd also develop many skills that can help you later in life and have a lot of fun in the process.
  17. avman
    Well I'm afraid she's not obligated to give you a second chance. Sure it would be nice if she would, but I don't think anyone can fault her for deciding not to. And I'm afraid you really don't have any right to be getting angry with her. The best thing you can do now is focus on yourself. You are getting therapy, so thats a good thing. Focus on what you can control and the actions you can take to make yourself a better person. Focus on being a good father to your children. They still need you regardless of what happens in the marriage. Forgiveness for yourself will come with time.
  18. avman
    When companies are juggling people's schedules to set these things up, it's not uncommon for it to fall into place at the last minute. People are busy with many other things and it's not that easy to clear out time. The company I work for is famous for not planning and then suddenly I have to hop on a plane the next day for some urgent thing that probably could have been taken care of a couple weeks ago. Try and roll with it as best you can. If you want the job you'll have to put up with a certain amount of inconvenience.
  19. avman
    You can still have that wonderful life with your sons. I know things look rough right now and I won't kid you that the divorce will not be a fun process. But this is a process you are going through in return for the long term benefit of a better life.
  20. avman
    It is only too late to turn your life around when your life is over. At any time before then, you've always got a chance to make things different. God always walks beside you. Never forget that even in your darkest hour.
  21. avman
    So now I am not getting what you are so upset about. She asked you to come with her.
  22. avman
    If you don't trust your girlfriend then your relationship has far more problem then a simple trip to Mexico. You also seem to have a problem with control. If your girlfriend decides to cheat, there is nothing special about Mexico that makes it more or less likely. You are going to have to let go and not be so jealous that it drives her away.
  23. avman
    I went back to some of your first posts on the forum. I think you've made some amazing strides in your own personal improvement. You should be very proud of yourself for that. One thing that you need to realize is that it rarely works to try to change your life for the sake of your partner. You have to change your life for yourself. That's the only way to truly make changes that last. Stay the course and no matter what happens with your wife you'll end up ok.
  24. avman
    And please stop swearing.
  25. avman
    Here's another vote for you did the right thing. She will not be happy about it for awhile, but eventually she will come to see that you did her a big favor.
×
×
  • Create New...