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lost in the mix

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About lost in the mix

  • Birthday 10/28/1970

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  1. it sounds like the situation maybe be more pain and drama than what you really need in your life to be happy..A clean break may be healthy for you.
  2. i want her like a bee to a flower....lol...She's my world...We have three beauitiful kids....I love her..
  3. It's a fickle thing these emotions...I'm no therapist and am going thru a rough patch myself..But this friend of his, may be his next move...My brother told me to get out dating right away...he said the best way to get over your ex is the next....But i think that's a really shallow mentality...Is he that kind of guy?
  4. Is this a reasonable thing to just suffer through? My wife has left and when we even try to talk, it's just a barrage of blame of everything that went wrong.. If I even attempt to voice an opinion, I'm guilty of not listening. At first when she left it was because of my drinking, So I quit. Now it's about my temper...I feel she's taking EVERYTHING and blame-shifting from one fault to the next...Now I'm not dissagreeing with anything she's saying because what she's saying is the truth...What i'm wondering,,because I'm really at a loss here...Is there any contructive and patient,,non argumentive way that this can be separated into singular entities...So we can disscuss..one of my obvious infinite short-falls at a time?? I want to listen,,,keep my mouth shout and let her vent, but it's like she has a rolodex and just.....brrrrrrrrrr...Ding!...read that fu**er...remember that...I've got footnotes too!!!....It doesn't stop with one subject.. It's frustrating... I do understand where she's coming from...but this whole your and a-hole and here's my reason why thing is starting to wear thin..
  5. lol...glued er up...the kids are giggling with excitement!!!!
  6. You people are awesome, thanks for the advice...I'm really really lost right now...I'm trying to occupy myself...I bought a model ropcket to build, so when I take the kids out, we have that family oriented time....That's another aspect of the past i have to change....Time with my kids was something i neglected, because i was too tired from work or to buzzed to care....It's a sad tale of reality, but if i can't be honest about the hard truths, i won't get anywhere....I'm also using this forum as a test of honesty for myself...and all of you, my sounding boards....Thank you all so very much for your advice......It really wonderful to have people listen and not judge.
  7. I think you've brought a very profound thought to bear, and give people the realization that the "hurt" is compounded by the mind...When i read it...I didn't see anything about animal rights or religion...Just an opportunity to understand pain a bit better...Thank You for that....
  8. It's a frustrating thing, to face up to the past...when I try to talk to her, it seems that's what she's basing everthing on...and of course why wouldn't she? It's just frustrating to hear her constant throw the past in my face when there's nothing i can do to change what happened. I'm apologized out... Since I've found A.A., the serenity prayer, guides my day...along with "If i don't drink today i'm a success," and "Live in the solution instead of the problem." ..These are wonderful life guiding sources... My issues are dealing with the manic ups and downs in my moods. We have to associate with each other because of the kids...We meet at the park and i'll play with them...Hold small conversation with my wife, and try to maintain...But i so desparately want her back it hurts...To me quitting drinking is nothing compoared to quitting love. I bring flowers and cards, Do everything i can, and I'm getting nowhere it feels...But like you say...Space has got to be the answer...I've got a sponser in mind, who has been sober 42 years..He's a great guy..Here there aren't meetings on the weekends, which to me is the hardest time...
  9. Ok, I'm going to lay it all out, My wife left me three weeks ago after ten years together, we have three kid 8, 6, and 4... I've been an drinker all my adult life....I hit rock bottom three weeks ago...I got in a fight with my brother...came home at 1:30 am...the door was locked...I booted it in...Got in a screaming match with my wife, i was drunk she called the cops...i went to the tank...got out, she was gone...That was my bottom....She's in a transition house now, saying it's over... I hold her no blame for that.... Since that day 21 days ago, I haven't drank a drop....I've been submerged in A.A. trying to sort out the debacle i've made of me and my families life...... My history of drinking, has never been successful, and i've realized, that I'm just one of those unfortunates that have no control over alcohol, and that to live any kind of successful life. Booze can't be apart of it... I feel that the last ten years that we've been together has been a constant...not a black out, but more of a brown out...and it makes me angry at myself that i wasted that much life being consumed by a sickness. Now that i've woken up, and quick drinking that mess of my life is all to apparent....I tell her, that i've changed for the better, and she says that i haven't changed enough in three weeks to make any difference....Which begrudgingly i have to agree with...I know that drinking was a major part of the problem, but it isn't the only one...My temper is fairly short of late, i think due to the up and downs of drying out....but also, to break the mind-fix of learned behaviour, is completely stumping me...I mean i want to be better, i don't want to be even a shadow of who I was, because I was selfish, manupulative and emotionally abusive. When i play the tape over of the years, I can honestly say it was all about me. What an ... The hardest part is giving her the space she needs to heal. I realize how much I love her and now how much i don't deserve her....She says she loves me, but isn't in love with me anymore...It crushes me because i'm probably in love with her more than I ever was, since now i see how much she tried, and i was too blind to see....I don't want to smother her...but i don't want to let her go.....Somebody help!!!! Please!!
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