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sisterlynch

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  1. sisterlynch
    The heart is an organ just like all the other organs in our body. We run or think or see over and over. Why would it be any different with falling in love...let me qualify that a bit: If you are already in a committed relationship, then you should be careful about male/female "friendships," as they often turn into something else with a little mood lighting and some champagne and oh ...Valentine's day is coming soon, isn't it? Be careful about who you love, there are a lot of independent women out there who conduct themselves with a lot of sexality and only a little heart...just like men have always done. Maybe check out girls who are younger and lack all the worldliness that makes us hard after a while.
  2. sisterlynch
    I thank you, Swingfox, for your words of advice. I too think that this is an important websight and I hope that others value it as well...
  3. sisterlynch
    No way, that would never work! You have to be free of mind and spirit to make a marriage work...they are difficult under the best circumstances! We all have several strikes against us going in to the marriage, hopefully you don't have too much baggage before you get started. We all change as we mature! It is impossible to expect that that person will never change! The difficult times will be unexpected and uncharted...and you will need to talk to the other person about their short-comings and make your words stick! You need to be sensative and vulnerable to them. Don't hide your feelings even if you know they will be uncomfortable. Change is hard, but if you are mature enough to chose marriage then you will make it work out ok for everyone!
  4. sisterlynch
    I think that it is nature's way of keeping us from making too many mistakes!
  5. sisterlynch
    Yes indeed, you are correct, however, we must be more careful with our red rose to begin with, it must always be handled with care as it is our true essance as a human to love a rose and to be loved in return!
  6. sisterlynch
    Please don't hurt yourself...there are people who care. At 30 you still have 30 years ahead at least! Nobody is really happy no matter how beautiful or rich! They only do a good job hiding their pain, we are all the same, just flesh and blood...believe in yourself, that is all.
  7. sisterlynch
    She'll have to work things out with him. You cannot really undo the problems that she has caused by her conduct and lack of forsight. She should be able to give up her place in the military to go back home and tie up the strings that she has left untied. She probably shouldn't mention you or the pregnancy to others until the divorce is finalized.
  8. sisterlynch
    She obviously thinks you are that kind of guy who will put up with her spoiled childish behavior! Teach her a lesson! Don't let her come to your dad's party, that will be pretty awkward--won't it? Any one who would say that he's a better (blank!) than you deserves to be on her own! Don't put up with this type of behavior! It will lower your standards too much! Go for someone who isn't so high maintanence! You can find cute without the (blank!) can't you?
  9. sisterlynch
    Good Job again Jessr, you're right on the money!! Let him back in the door. You are not ready to be on your own and neither is he. Don't let it become a revolving door for him to move in and out of at will. You will do well to read up on some good books that deal with infidelity. This will be a very painful year and you should probably seek counciling, because you'll need to have a lot of questions answered, but you don't want to go overboard that can be very damaging too. This is a huge burst to your self esteme and he'll need to bend over backwards to make things up to you. Let him come back little by little. Don't expect to have him walk right in and take over like he is used to doing. He'll have to ask for your forgiveness many times and say he is sorry many times...Maybe he has learned his lesson.
  10. sisterlynch
    Good answer Jesse! 8)
  11. sisterlynch
    Hey to everyone! Don't you think that time is of an essance in any relationship. Know when to hold them and know when to fold them. If you are in a relationship that isn't working out for one reason or another, don't you owe it to yourself and the other person to tell them exactly what you want. We all seek comfort from the cold, but if your relationship is not moving in the right direction...don't you owe it to your own sanity to move it in the direction that will make you happy...other than that you are waisting your time and that of others too!
  12. sisterlynch
    Yes she is right. This guy is really a player! I have trouble believing that your family is ok with this guy! What are they thinking? How did you meet him? In this country men are put in jail for what he is doing. What are you really gaining. He is not being true to you. You are a child and he knows that he should stick to women. Ask him why he needs you and his ex in his life. Aren't you mature enough to handle his rejection? Why does a man need more than one women? What is it about him that he thinks that this is ok. He is using you for your body and he has a lack of self esteme that says he needs an older woman and a younger girl for his complete pleasure. If he paid more attention to the woman instead of the girl, he would show himself to be a man.
  13. sisterlynch
    If he is distant he probably is not interested in breaking up your supposed marriage with his friend. What do you expect him to do? Admit that he has inappropriate feelings for someone in a committed relationship? Use your best judgement and get over it yourself...you owe it to your husband to ignore any feelings that you have for other men...not to encourage them! Be Good!
  14. sisterlynch
    Is there something in between waiting for her and going for it with her. How about getting to know yourself as a person. You wouldn't want to form a relationship with someone against their parent's wishes would you?
  15. sisterlynch
    I like Man U. I hope that you are feeling better. Break ups are never fun. Your only hope is to put that "Flier" in your past and look for someone closer to home that will love you and not run away. Switch classes if her presense still is upsetting you. Studying is to be your major concern. Nobody will buy a broken down horse. Make yourself more approachable. Dress better, appear happy even when you are still devastated on the interior, people will like you better when you appear confident. Nobody is really confident in every area. Try to find something you are really good at that you can do in public that will attract people to you. This may be difficult at first but you will get some positive attention and that is what you really need right now. Pretend that you don't need any one to complete you. That is a surefire method of attracting lots of interesting characters.
  16. sisterlynch
    I don't have this problem however, there is someone on Public Television who is a skin Dr. and I have followed some of his other suggestions and they have been very helpful. His name is Nicolas Pericone and his book is called The Pericone Prescription. Try out some of his suggestions and let me know if they help.
  17. sisterlynch
    Try to eat lots of protein and get in shape. People who stay home too much lack confidence and that will not empower you to go forward. Stop thinking about her so much. She doesn't deserve it. Get a new interest or hobbie to help while you are rebuilding. Get off the anti depressant as soon as you can. A pill cannot help. We are a thinking and social human being. We need love and support and newness to make our lives more inteeresting. When you go to pubs try to meet new people who don't know your past and don't tell them that you are in a rebuilding period. If you go to church go to a nearby town, maybe there is another lost soul in that town waiting for a lovely man like you to build up a relationship with. Let the other girl go! You won't need her in the future. Let that be history and stay history for sure...you can do better! You know so in your heart! Set some long-term goals to get you moving in an entirely new direction.
  18. sisterlynch
    That girl on-line has a lot of confidence and started and stopped your relationship with her pretty easily. She knew she was taking you away from another relationship and that is like a competition for her--it interested her as a passtime. She isn't interested in a committed relationship right now. What if your ex got counciling. Do you think you could be interested in her again. That would probably interest the online girl again too because she wouldn't be so invested in your relationship. You need some emotional support and online girl just cannot give that to you. She is basically as insecure as anyone one else--beautiful or not, we all have similar reservations in life.
  19. sisterlynch
    Just be patient with her. Some times our feelings run stronger than others can tell. Don't be overly assertive because that might appear desperate. Don't do anything physically with her until you are sure she's over her other relationships.
  20. sisterlynch
    Brake up with him. It will only hurt for a little while. Why would you want to sleep with someone's husband? What if the man is also sleeping with others? Don't you feel like you are missing something? What if you were the wife? Make someone else your new man for a while, see what he says to that? You know that this is not emotionally healthy. What else could you do with that time spent with someone's husband? Don't you have any hobbies? What if he breaks up with you just when he gets tired of you? Try to picture how you'll feel when this is all over!
  21. sisterlynch
    Lots of people are afraid of rejection. That is why we have upon casual dating and friends. These are people that they can have intimate conversations with, but not feel rejected when their friendship ends or they find someone more interesting. We reserve our hearts for only a few people that we really trust. The rest remain outsiders. When women let down their guard, they feel more vulnerable, but they also feel true emotions that are different and can be unsettling in their newness! We are all afraid of change. But sometimes that is what it takes to survive. So instead of changing our 20 or 30 year old way of getting life accomplished, we hang on to what we know and what feels comfortable to us. If you are really willing to listen when people talk to you you can learn a lot from their expressions about how they feel about themselves and you. We normally judge others more harshly than ourselves. What if you took those well intended criticisms and turned them on yourself? Nobody ever accepts this challenge except under difficult situations. We judge others so we don't have to judge ourselves. If someone insults you wonder to yourself the pain that that person feels to want to hurt others. We women need to support one another. This is very important to our sense of well being. Don't try to make everthing into a contest. That way there will always be a winner and a loser. Let the men have their way and the women do things their own way. Don't put extra pressure on people. To keep from feeling foolish you need others who support you. Make sure that others support your way of doing things. See the glass is half full, or change your own perception.
  22. sisterlynch
    I remember feeling that way when I was young too. You have an excess of hormones and you have lots of people around, but you want a really close relationship to make you feel special. It will come with time. Most people don't have sex until they are 15 to 16, so you probably have a couple of years to go! Work on making yourself better. You are the only one that you can control (and change!). You can probably tell your parents what the problem is...that actually can make you feel better in the short run! Develop a new hobbie, make friends with your teachers! Those who teach Jr High are normally kids at heart. Look at colleges in your area. Go to summer school. Go swimming or some other outdoor activity. Be really friendly and outgoing toward everyone! Here is something to work on that will help put your priorities in perspective...it worked for my friend when he had somethings turn against him, attempt to treat each person exactly the same, with the same amount of emotional attachment, until you see that this is working, don't play favorites! If something goes bad ignore your bad feelings, always concentrate on the good aspects of every situation. Life is stressful, and you are really just entering in to adulthood--make it a good one. Remember don't get caught up in people's lives too much or you won't have that much left for yourself!
  23. sisterlynch
    Isn't there an old statement that says if you sleep with dogs you are going to get flees? Why have relationships when you are not that good at them? You just hurt yourself and others in the mix. Get your head together and get over your past. The more you cling to the past the unhappier you'll become!
  24. sisterlynch
    The more I think about it, On-line affairs really mean nothing to the worth of an individual. Think of it as a passion that he was exploring. It shouldn't really mean that much to him...how is his impulse control in general? Is he a heavy drinker or an over-achiever, workaholic? He probably has some form of ADD. Since you are thinking of getting together with him again, you may be able to ask him to seek counseling for his addictions. Take him back, that is my vote! When the hurt and embarrassment wears off he and you will be much the better off together -- keep searching his e-mails until your curiosity goes away. The truth is he may have been attracted to her but it was a meaningless attraction. It meant nothing to him or her. The clothes that we wear don't dictate the type of person that we really are. Look for a deeper meaning to all of this. Count it as a meaningless attraction and flirtation--nothing more!
  25. sisterlynch
    Jealousy is really a form of control. He is a Police Officer so his whole life is about controling others. My sister is married to a sheriff and I have a brother who works as a prison guard. Both of these characters are controling and difficult to be around. They deal in black and white issues. There is also a dark side to these militaristic-style individuals. Look at those women in the south who were all murdered by their green baret husbands. Try to picture your whole life of never having friends and always being afraid of his temper. It will get worse. After you have children, your figure will change and that may seem to make him happy at first as you will nolonger be attractive to others. However, his hunting instincts will overtake him. He doesn't love you. Love and control are very different. Love feels happy...control hurts your stomach. Ask yourself honestly how do you feel about him?
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