sisterlynch

I am a lot like that too. Luckily, my husband is able to take that from me occasionally. But also sometimes it is too much for him. He still loves me but not that part of me. I am sure you can see what I am saying...there are all types of people in this country. Some who accept us and can comfort us when we are feeling bad, and others who are distant and who only want to be given things all the time. Try to get a new viewpoint. Take some college classes. You were not the best person for her, but that doesn't make you a bad person. She knows that she wants something else, and at 18 that is a very difficult choice. Try to make yourself appear happy. That will attract others to you. When you get a new girlfriend, remember not to put too much pressure on her. We are all looking for someone who will complete us and make us feel whole. Consentrate on what is working and try to control your jealousy towards her. Realistically we all want to be the only person in our friend's life but how realistic is that? Don't get so hung up on your feelings. Don't assume that you know how the other person is feeling when they are not with you. My husband likes to see other people as potential friends and if I create to many barriers to this then he feels trapped. Would you want to feel trapped? I am sure that you have some wonderful qualities and are a great person. Know that times and feelings are transitory. We are all looking for the best possible relationship and somethings you just cannot force. Joanie email removed

You got involved with a self absorbed person who sees others as objects of desire. I know that it isn't popular to recommend medication, but sometimes that will work if you have medical insurance. Make yourself unavailable to people like that in the future. There are beautiful people in this society who are given so much, they get used to taking and never giving. If this is possible for you try to see him with a scar on his face or missing his fingers or something. Try to make his ugliness be on the outside where you can visualize what you hate about him. Get a new interest. Move, go to a new city. See old friends. Do any thing to comfort yourself. When you find yourself missing him think about the emotion that you felt when you saw him with another person. Let that disgust stick with you for 5 or 10minutes, and then try to comfort yourself. Disguise your bitterness with happiness and sometimes you will get into a habit of feeling the new feelings. Go to some type of support meetings where you can meet new people. Put an add in the personals section of the newspaper. There are plenty of people in the world who are like you, they just dont let others see the pain. I would recommend that you separate yourself from the pain in your own mind. we all get compulsive at times, but the quicker that you move on the better.

You are in a position of power. You are on the inside and she is on the outside. How you want to handle this is a choice that is up to you. I might try talking to her one of these times. She is probably lonely and wants his companionship. This is a judgement call. He will leave it up to you to make the decision. Remember all people love to be persued, and it is easy to say that they are just friends and leave it at that. Where do you see yourself in the future? Going from relationship to relationship or being in a steady relationship? Picture yourself 5 years from now, do you want to still be going through this with him or someone new? Tell him not to talk on the phone when you are around. He should be able to give you that much. The hardest question is does he want you or her? If they have had a relationship in the past, it is possible that they do have a continuing relationship and that you are the interruption.

Unfortunately, our society is so mixed up right now we are willing to settle for any affection even from a distance. Think of the men before WWII who got married quickly before being sent off to Europe. Think of your future and how likely it is that you will still see her as anyone but a friend. Everyone has one night stands occasionally, it is difficult that you want to still see her and she doesn't seem to care. This shows that you are a low priority to her. In a society where women are increasing in power, you see she is treating you like an easy "lay." Some men fall in love very quickly. I am sure that she is quite beautiful for you to accept this inappropriate behavior from her. If you still want her, tell her that you are seeing someone new, then she will be forced to make a decision.

She seems a bit unstable. All girls appear unstable at times, but you seem to have a whole list of items that you don't like about her. Make a list of things that you need and don't need and ask her to do the same. See how closely your lists are related. She may have totally different values. To make it work, you too need to put your relationship above all the other problems that you seem to be having at the time. Figure out your priorities and hers.

People with ADD have trouble staying on topic. They may appear bored or unsympathetic. They have trouble maturing. They throw themselves into something without thinking about the consequeces. However, they have a gentle loving side. They tend to be very confident in certain areas. Find out what their hobies are. They may be very interesting when they talk to you about those things --job, computers, sports. They have a low level of frustration, meaning they don't handle serious issues very well. They don't like a lot of pressure. Don't try to change who they are. Work on their behavior. They know that they have problems in certain areas. Don't ask too many questions. They have trouble with deeper emotions, like saying they are sorry.

Talk to a women's shelter. They should have councelers and legal advice. If his money is all under the table, he may be doing things illegally, so you could report it to the police. After 30 years of marriage you should be able to get alimony. Don't worry too much about the children. Worry about yourself to start. Get a job and feel good about yourself. Make yourself look attractive and eat healthy foods. Be supportive of your own position. Tell him if it doesn't work out with the other woman that you still love him and will return to him if he wants you to.

He may be uncomfortable with the coming baby. Most men don't really care for children that much. He doesn't want to grow up and he is treating you really badly. Tell him to stop what he is doing. If you are married, he must treat you with respect. Even if he is having an affair, make him stop it. He is really just using the other person or drug, drinks, whatever, to distance himself from you and the thought of growing older and being a father. Tell him that he is ok. Every thing he is doing and feeling is normal. But he has to sit down and tell you what he is doing. If he gets angry, don't react to his emotional outbursts. Let him settle down until you can go on. Take some classes on child psychology. They are normally available at the community colleges. If you are old enough to be married then you are old enough to make important decisions on your own. Don't stay in a physically abusive relationship. If it is emotional abuse learn to deal with his anger and distance. If he is seeing someone, try to contact her and tell her how he is behaving and that you are pregnant. She may not know that you exist. If he is just hanging out with friends, be as nice to him as you can. Make yourself as physically attractive as you can. Talk to him as if you are trying to meet a new guy. Tell him you will end the pregnancy if he doesn't stick around because you don't want to raise a kid all by yourself. I have been in a similar position as you are in. I got her email address off of his contacts, and just started to email her whenever he and I would fight. I even tried emailing some of his friends to embarrass him. It will not work overnight, but stick with it. Tell your mom or if you have a brother or dad, tell them too. It may help for him to hear it from an outside person.

I think all women are looking for a sweet guy who will take them places and have intimate conversations. The old idea that women have sex for love and men have love for sex is true. Most men have sex with people that they care for and most women count more on the people with whom they are physically intimate. Guys are able to separate their emotions from sex more easily because their genitles are on the outside of their bodies. They are also into the visual aspect of how a woman looks more than who she is as a person. Women are just the opposite. Women want a soft place where they can rest and be themselves and not what everyone tells them they should be or want. Sex always changes the focus of a relationship!!

Count your losses. He is a loser. Look for someone more innocent. He is a cheater. Please don't be physical with people unless you are in a continuing relationship. You cheapen yourself for being with poeple like that.

Ryan is just a guy. That is all. He shouldn't mean that much to you. Find someone more special or interesting to spend your time with. We all like people who are no good for us occasionally and that is just how it is. Don't return his calls if he asks you out tell him you are seeing someone new, even if it is a lie, it may work to get him to move on. Think about all the things that you would do if you were 18. He is wasting his life. Try not to get involved in someone like that -- you'll be much better off for it!

Have a check up to make sure you havn't contracted a sexually transmitted disease. A lot of married men cheat and can continue on with a satisfying marriage. He will probably tell you the truth when he is ready. Don't let him leave in the middle of the night. Don't let him be secretive about where he is going. If he is going to stay in this relationship with you he has to be willing to be with only one person. He owes you that much! There is a book called "Never be Lied to Again" Let him see that you are reading it.

He needs to tell you why he married you in the first place. He is missing something in his life, try to find out what he is missing. The average rate for sex is three times per month. Ask him why is he more interested in looking at women he doesn't know than getting over his insecurities. Tell him to get off the computer when you go to bed, interrupt his computer sessions. Ask him to show you his websites and try to initiate while he is aroused. Watch him masturbate and let him know that you want to learn more about giving him pleasure. I made my husband watch Dr. Phil a few times and that helped a lot. Tell him he is cheating by continuing to use those websites rather than your own body!

You have got to be able to talk to her. Offer to go with her to counciling sessions, take out the trash, pay special attention to her. Don't appear to be clingy. She may have another man on the side. Try to speak positively to her. Don't ever appear angry or frustrated to her. If you feel this way control your emotions or just leave the room. Eat healthy and get lots of exercise. If you need to start seeing other women, tell her first. She may reconsider if she sees you are moving forward. If she cannot see the future with you ask her for specifics in what she needs to get over her emotional distance. Both of you will need to change if you are going to stay together. Let her know that you are willing to make the changes she needs to be happy. If she really wants to leave, don't stop her. Let her know that she is hurting you and your future by her distance. Talk about how she was so attractive to you when you were first together. Keep in mind that this happens to everyone at times.

Both sexes marry for personal and practical reasons. We marry because our parents married and tell us that sex outside of marriage is wrong morally speaking. We marry to have children born into a stable environment. And most women feel more comfortable having sex with a partner who shares their values. It feels wonderful to work your way through problems and grow closer through communication! Marriage isn't for everyone. Look at the family history of your intended mate: do they have any divorces in their family. Ask your partner how he feels about that. It is also good to discuss how many children you two will have, where you'll work and manage family, work and your relationship together. Make sure that your parnter is marrying you for the right reasons. If there are disagreements keep a level head. It is possible to negotiate almost anything as long as you know that this person will keep their word. Go for it!