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tobigahart

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Everything posted by tobigahart

  1. tobigahart
    Hey buddy sorry but things don't look good. If she's having doubts this early on then she is telling the truth that she doesn't want to be with you. Regardless of whether or not there is another guy it doesn't really matter. You're just going to have to let this one go. She is being truthful in telling you that she didn't want to wait because the longer you were together the more it would hurt. I did the same thing to a girl once, left her after only 2 weeks and she totally adored me and I got along great with her parents. But often you are with someone with the hope that it might start to really work, but then you realise it's not going to and you have to move on. Be thankful she told you now and not later. Anyway, you'll find another one
  2. tobigahart
    Hey I'm not girl but I'll tell you that you have nothing to worry about! I mean as if she's going to think any less of you for something like that? If she's a friend to you, you'll only get support. Not resentment. This is nothing and I'm sure both you and her have better things to worry about
  3. tobigahart
    Jeez that was a long letter and yes I did read the whole thing! I'll tell you what, you really defined the saying "I think we need some time apart to sort things out" in that letter. You had some time apart, and hell you realised how much you really do love this girl and want to bewith her. As for her? If you're the one who left her, and she osn't over you yet then I reckon you actually have a really good chance. You managed to explain alot in that letter with regards how much you love her and want her and how you were so wrong in the past. If you ask me, if anything will get her back... then that letter will. You've taken your best shot with this one and I hope for the sake of the both of you that she crumbles at your words and takes you back in a second. Best of luck with this one mate, I really hope it works!
  4. tobigahart
    Hmm tough one. Young girls have a nasty habit of being a little to flirtatious and alot of them do it for the attention. If you really know her then you should be able to work out for yourself what kind of girl she is. Is she out there just to have fun or is she looking for something more? I don't see any harm in telling her you're interested in her by I have no idea what she'll say, that's for you to judge. But if you think you've got the nerves and courage to tell her, then go for it. You'll either get what you want our find out she's not really what you want after all. Good luck mate.
  5. tobigahart
    Hello! Unfortunately it looks like you are the victim here. There is nothing wrong with you or what you are doing. You really love this girl and she loves you to but she is doing the wrong thing by all three of you. She is cheating on her boyfriend (just by loving someone else), she is taking you for granted, and she is giving her heart more than it can handle. I really think that you need to talk to her about this problem. You need to tell her what she is doing and what she is going to do about it. She can't possibly believe that she can stay like this forever and she needs to know she has to do something about it. I would believe that her problem lies with her and her current boyfriend. It sounds like they have been together for a while and I can bet she is having a hard time just thinking about leaving him. And instead of confronting this problem, she is bringing you into the picture so she can forget about it. She needs to leave this guy. Obviously they are not meant to be otherwise she would never have gotten onvolved with you. She really needs to be strong and do what is right by all of you. And I reckon that if you hang in there, you might just have her in the end. Anyway, talk to her. Explain to her what she is doing and why it is so wrong. Help her work out why she needs to leave this guy. Don't feel selfish, like you are stealing her cause you are not. From the moment she admitted feelings for you, she had already left him. Now it's time for him to know...
  6. tobigahart
    Hey there! You have to understand that this problem has absolutely nothing at all to do with you! This guy (however much you love him) is a very insecure and unhappy person. He has some major problems in life and is using you to hide them behind. He might love you and care about you alot but before he expects to have a meaningful relationship with anyone he is going to have to look after himself. There is no excuse ever for cheating or abusing and no person should ever have to tolerate this. definitely leave this guy behind. And yes it will hurt, but he is not ready for a relationship with you or with anyone else... You deserve someone who cares about you alot more than this guy did and someone who will look after you and make your needs and happiness a priority. I hope you can understand what I am trying to say and I hope you can do what's best for you and leave this guy behind. He has his own problems which he needs to sort out by himself.
  7. tobigahart
    I guess you are feeling lonely now and maybe this is why you feel you need to be with this girl but I wouldn't let it control your life. Honestly, you are going to have to accept that you two can't be together and although this will hurt, providing you do understand that you cannot be with her you'll get through the pain. Someone else will come along for you one day and then it won't matter anymore. You have your whole life ahead of you and unfortunately sometimes they get away. Let her go, and make yourself available to the many more wonderful women there are out there.
  8. tobigahart
    Hey mate I don't think there is anything wrong with what you're doing. If moving apart slowly seems all the more confortable for you both then that's what you should do, regardless of what other people think. And if you do try the long term relationship thing, and you do slowly drift apart, you'll still always have that special conneciton with eachother rather than just breaking the connection once and for all. You never know, in your time of long term being apart someone else might come along who really interests you (or someone for her) and you'll come to realise that it was never going to work being apart so much. Anyway at least you're not completely breaking down. If things don't work out how you would hope, just remember that there are plenty more people out there just like her and you will get the chance to fall in love again. Anyway, I hope you guys can sort things out and live happily ever after!
  9. tobigahart
    Putting pressure on such a delicate situation like this will not work in your favour. The only thing you really can do now is to give her the space she wants and see if she changes her mind. As for you and contemplating suicide, I think that you have been using this girl to hide your real problems in life. No-one should need someone else to live, it's just not right and for her to know that she is the only thing that matters in your life can only be a negative thing. You have to understand that to be truly happy you have address your problems and sort through them rather than hiding them behind something else. It's not fair on this girl for you to be leaning your entire life on her and if you love her as much as you say you do, then don't you think you could find the will and motivation to move on with your life? I am not meaning to be putting you down here, just trying to let you know that there is more to life than just 1 person. You shouldn't be living for just one person. You can see the potential damage this can do to someone as you are feeling this hurt and lack of will to live right now. Can't you instead learn form your mistake rather than running away from it? If you can shoe her you can be happy you have alot better chance of getting her back, and if she still doesn't want you, well you're happy anyway right?
  10. tobigahart
    Hehe I quite liked your analogy actually As for your situation, I think that if she really wants to give it another shot then she'll come to you. She after all is the one who broke it off so it's up to her to resume the relationship. She might not be ready for a full time lesbian relationship and maybe she wants to experience some of the other side too. If you have broken up four times already then obviously something is not quite right... You could try talking to her about it but I honestly don't think it's what she really wants right now. If it was, then I wonder why she hasn't come back to you. Best of luck with this, and don't worry if it doesn't work out. There are plently more people out there for you!
  11. tobigahart
    Since you're only 14 there's not really a rush to go out and tell people. I don't reckon there would be many other guys your age coming out ofthe closet either so unless you feel you need to tell everyone, don't do it. You've got years anyway for things to happen and change and you're still very young. But if you do feel you need to tell you're parents then I really doubt anyone is going to care less. I think my little bro (17) might be gay and if he is then he's probably scared out of his mind of me or anyone else knowing but the truth is it wouldn't make a difference. People might make gay jokes and stuff like that (hell I do all the time!) but it does't mean they actually have anything against it. It's like blonde jokes- we joke about how they can be stupid but when it comes down to the individual blonde, no-one actually believes they are thicker than the rest of us. Anyway, just tell them when you're ready. There's no rush but they won't think any less of you anyway
  12. tobigahart
    Hey mate I wouldn't be worrying too much yet. I don't know much about std's but I really doubt you'd be feeling the effects that soon after. Was it the first time you had sex? If so then this would be the reason you're feeling strange. If not, well maybe you did something different this time or perhaps the female in question was a little tighter than your average. Alot of strange things can happen down there that often we won't have a clue what the hell is going on but usually things will sort themselves out. Anyway the doctor should be able to clear things up for you. Best of luck with this, and don't start worrying until you know for sure.
  13. tobigahart
    Hey mate, damn sounds like you're in love!!! As for advice? She'll kiss you when she's ready. I mean as if she wouldn't know you're keen? Take it easy... very easy! Don't apply any pressure to this situation. You've clearly put the ball in her court. If she want's to keep the game going, she'll have to return it Good luck!
  14. tobigahart
    Heh I think that sometimes... Hmmm wish i had a oyunger girl that would be nice. Then I think, hmmm... with I had an older girl that wouldbe nice. I reckon more often than not it's just a variety thing. A change is as good as a holiday they say and like grantw said, you're alot funner when you're a younger person. More vitality, more joyous! Some guys who take young girls might be doing it because they are insecure, and being with someone younger makes them feel better about themself and more in control than being with someone on the same level as them. Anyway there are many reasons, and it will differ from guy to girl. As for myself? As I'm only 21 'younger' girls for me reside in the chaotic age bracket of teenagism, so frankly... I don't trust them For most people that's too young to be getting serious anyway. I hope that kind of helped, even just a little bit
  15. tobigahart
    I hope we can provide you with support and answers too. I'm no doctor though, and I'm only 21 and don't know much about phobias (excpet my phobia of asking out women!!!) but I'll try my best. You may, just possibly, be feeling this because of something that happened to you in your past? It's just an idea but often cases like this are traced back to childhood or ever your teen years. We really need to know how long you've been feeling this. Also, how did it go when you met your husband? What it awkward at first or did it just seem right? How do you feel about yourself physically? You're comfy with your husband now, what about other people such as family and friends? Provide us with a few more details and we might be able to pin out down to somethign more specific. Other people will know alot more about this than me and I really hope you find what you want here. There are great people here and if anyone can help you, we can
  16. tobigahart
    I hate to say it but you really did do the wrong thing right from the start! You probably already know this and it hurts me to have to tell you but you really did the wrong thing not once, but over and over... I don't want to treat you like a fool, but you must know the more you apply pressure to a sensative situation, the much higher chance you have of breaking it rather than healing it. You called too often, you obsessed, you abused... you broke what you had. If you ever hope to have anything meaningful from this guy again, you have to say sorry (no big deal just an email or a message) and goodbye. Just like your quote, if it's meant to be he'll come back but you cannot force it, or even encourage it. You've stepped beyond the boundaries and the only way he's ever coming back is of his own accord. As for yourself, take the time to grieve the loss. I imagine you are feeling a hell of alot of pain right now, and you will so for the near future. But please don't hope to work things out... please, for yourself, try and work through the loss. Hope always lies in the future and you only ever learn from your mistakes. You need to really think about what went wrong, why it went wrong, and not what you should have done! but what you will do in the future. It's not all negative. You'll learn a hell of alot from this experience, about love, life, and emotions but you're going to have to work through the loss first. It's going to be very hard but I personally am here for you, as well as all the other advice givers here. I deeply apologise if I was harsh, but it's honestly what I believe. Contact me if you'd like to chat. I'm here for support... otherwise, good luck and best wishes for the future. We're her for you.
  17. tobigahart
    Hey I wouldn't get too hung up on this girl. I know you probably feel like hell right now and feel like your world is crashing down around you, but the pain won't stay and you'll bounce right back. One month, although plently enough to totally love someone, is not really that long a time overall. Of course the pain will be just as bad when you break, but the passing of it will be so much faster because of only being with her for a little while. Really if its not working after a short time, chances are it won't work in the long run and her 'fooling around' with another guy in the meantime is a very clear sign that she's not ready to be commited to anyone. She probably won't be for years! Hey, you don't need someone else to make you happy do you? You have yourself! Show your true strength and get through this. You feel so much better in a week You can do it!
  18. tobigahart
    The source of rage you do not know deep inside these problems grow From the past you still hurt deep releasing rage so you can sleep But soon to come you shall not fear for always you'll find help right here Typing now our end is never we'll be here now, tomorrow, forever...
  19. tobigahart
    Hey mate what are you wanting to know? I reckon she probably did the right thing by him... A girl with 5 boyfriends probably will only end up hurting him I don't really know what your needing help with but anyway, thats my opinion. What do you think she should do?
  20. tobigahart
    Yeah I wouldn't take too long either. You probably konw how the crush goes, you like someone... you really want someone!! you lose interest and move on to someone else... If you have the guts, do as Luvs 2 b luvd advised and tell him you like him but not to let in ruin the friendship. Even if it does make it awkward for a short while after you'll easy return back to the way things were. Anyway good luck, if you're still here when things get sorted out let us know!
  21. tobigahart
    Well my theory on love (as harsh as it may seem) is that if it's not perfect, it's not meant to be. You two are not meant for eachother, and although you might be able to have a generally happy realtionship there is alot better out there! I don't think he is showing much consideration towards you by questioning what you're doing and acting the jealous one. When I left my girl I wanted nothing more in the world for her to meet people! I valued her happiness above anything else (unfortunately the reason I stayed with her for so long) so if he really wants the break up to work, he's going to have to do better than he's doing now! Don't jump into another relationship straight away, but take some time for self reflection just being alone and enjoying your own company. You'll heal faster this way and be ready to tackle the world (and new guys sooner than you can imagine! Good luck with everything, don't drag it out it will only hurt more! *hugs*
  22. tobigahart
    That is some whack grammar you got there Anyway, I myself reckon she's keen for you. But she doesn't want to hang out with your friends. Too much pressure, and they make her shy anyway. I reckon you're going to somehow have ask her to do something with you "just the two of you". Yeah that'll be tough but I reckon its the way to go. You're not necesarilly saying to her, "Hey I like you lets hook up" but rather "Hey, lets do something together, we might have fun". If she's interested in you'll she no doubt say "yes" to your proposition and if she doesn't then she screwed it up! If she's not interested, she'll say "no thanks" but you don't really lose much here. Something like that is hardly going to ruin a friendship... all you did was ask her to see a movie or have lunch etc... N-e wayyyy--- howp dat elpz u!
  23. tobigahart
    Yah he's genuine! If he was only after a bit of action there is no way he would have told you from the start that he was leaving in a month. He risked not having a chance with you by doing that and I think that should speak for itself. It is a real pity that he is leaving though and I know its gonna hurt you a bit but think ofthe good rather than the bad. It will hurt at first but once you're over it you just smile Anyway, cherish the time you have left... We're all here for you if you get upset once he's gone.
  24. tobigahart
    My answer to your final question would be insecurity. You can't expect someone who's been without parents (real ones anyway) to have an overly positive outlook on life. She may appear happy on the outside but be deeply crippled on the inside. She is with this guy cause she's too afraid to be alone, she can't be alone... You have nothing to worry about with approaching this girl though. I bet she'd love to have you as a friend. But I strongly urge to start as friends! That will mean a hell of alot more to her than a guy who only wants to know her cause he fancies her. Make friends, get to know eachother, the rest will sort itself out. Anyway, if you're only initially going for friendship there will be a whole lot less pressure on yourself and you'll be feeling a hell of alot more confident I hope you have success with this girl. Go help her out, not knowing your parents must be tough...
  25. tobigahart
    Woo for me! I'm shy... maybe there is hope for me yet. Oh yeah, I'm almost 22 and I have never ever ever never approached a girl or let a girl know I was interested in her. Retarded hey? I'm the type of fool who always waits for the girl to come to me. And since its usually the guy who's supposed to do all the work I reckon I'm probably only meeting about 1/4 of the amount of girls I really should be meeting. Bit off topic but I really like that Polar bear thing, it's tricky And damn, I wish girls did more of the "picking up"... some guys are terrified or approaching women! (.. me... *cough*...)
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