rosalarian

I helped a friend of a friend of mine come out. Since then, we've become pretty good friends. We'd get together for coffee and kvetch about how much we both wanted a girlfriend. Thing is, she wants me to be her girlfriend, and I'm just not interested. She caught me off guard when she asked me if I'd go out with her, and, being put on the spot like that, I mumbled something that led her to believe I was interested. She doesn't know me nearly as well as she thinks she does, and has somehow made me out to be someone who doesn't sound like me at all. It wouldn't work between the two of us. How can I turn her down without being a complete 455h013? (Word to the l33t!) (Argh! Why can't I just wake up one day and be married? I hate dating!!!)

I had a friend with the same type of situation (except he was a guy wondering if he was bi). He liked girls all right, but he was constantly regected and after a while, he found himself looking at the males. He wondered for a while if he might be bi. In the end, he figured out that his feelings were a lot like jealousy or envy. The guys he was looking at were a lot like him, and the qualities he liked in them were qualities he wished he himself had. Could this be what you feel? I think it's just a phase or a response to hurt and rejection. You've only been thinking about it for two days. If you feel the same in, oh, say two months, then look into it more. If you feel different next week, put it down as another phase and go find some sute guys or something. *Shrugs*

I love this girl. She's not like anything I ever pictured as an ideal girlfriend, but she just seems so perfect. And hey! Lucky for me, she's bi, and she swings toward the lesbian side quite a lot. So we started going out. Problem: we keep breaking up. It's not because we fight or have personality problems or don't like each other anymore, it's circumstances outside our control, such as her controlling, homophobic mother and our extremely busy scheduals. We broke up for the fourth time a month ago because she said, due to all these problems, we won't get to see each other very often and it might be for the best. Well now the problems are gone. Her mom has suddenly gotten more accepting and less homicidal towards me, and our scheduals magically ended up being perfectly in sync, allowing us to see each other every day from now on. I'm still attracted to her more than I have ever been attracted to anyone else, and, even though she won't come right out and say it, I think she feels the same way. So my question is this: Should I go for a fifth helping, or leave the buffet even though I'm still hungry and the lines are now empty? (that's a bad analogy, but I'm kind of hungry.)