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tobigahart

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  1. tobigahart
    Lol yeah sounds like more of an entertaining story than a call for advice Damn, you chicks know you kick our a$$ when it comes to getting what you want so I reckon you're gonna have to punish him big time! Make him suffer, and then post your story of how you made him beg for your mercy... hehehehe
  2. tobigahart
    Yeah kinda sounds like that one started mid-sentance Try again redjewel and we'll do our best!
  3. tobigahart
    Mr life is right. Gotta start somewhere and that place is talking. If you find common ground to tread on, once you're ready you can move to the next step and see eachother outside class. Go for it
  4. tobigahart
    Hmmm... I swear I answered to this exact same post a few days ago...
  5. tobigahart
    Ok, what will scare her away is being unsure of yourself. You might be about to shatter on the inside but you've gotta look confident. Also, to prevent any incomforts in the event of a rejection, when you ask her... make it clear that it won't change anything if she says no. Keep the mood light hearted, not heavy! And you HAVE to go through with it Regret will only make it harder the next time and you have much more of a chance with her if you're confident in yourself. Anyway, if she says no she musn't be the one so what does it matter Best of luck!
  6. tobigahart
    Yeah I understand what you're saying. I don't think you guys are going to get together though. But trust me, if you keep coming in close contact, either hugging or comforting etc. you will be in pain for a long time if you let doubt take over. Want to be friends? You're really going to have to put alot of effort into being just that and not feeling or hoping for any more. Don't let her looks blind you Think to yourself, if she your perfect girl? Could she be your soulmate, flawless in your eyes? We both no that's not true. You don't really need her, just concentrate on the other aspects of life and let your friendship be a part of it, not in control of it. As I say to everyone! it's going to be tough, but with a possitive outlook and a bit of willpower, you'll be fine. Good luck Al, you know she's not the one so don't worry bout it
  7. tobigahart
    Ahhh sorry to tell you mate, there's more... and I'm a guy so what would I know anyway! You'll know when she orgasms when she starts contracting... then can't stand you touching her afterwards The simplicity of it all. You ALWAYS know whether or not you have had an orgasm, it's never unsure
  8. tobigahart
    Ok okay oookkaayyy. Basically you are crowding her, cramping her style... not giving her space. If you ever want her to get back together with you it has to be because she does so of her own free will and not because of something you say or do to change her mind. Regardless of what you hear from friends or whatever about what she may be feeling for you, you really have to get on with your life. There is a FAR better chance of her coming back to you if she knows you can live without her. Independance is attractive in itself! so for the time being, focus on the other great things in life. No sucking up to her! nothing! act as if you're ok now and that you're ready to move on... It will be alot better for yourself as a person if you can at least try to overcome her. Even if she isn't the one, you'll learn alot more about yourself if you focus your energy on being an independent. Good luck
  9. tobigahart
    Ahhh that last line of yours is exactly! why you feel this way. It is soo important that you don't use a relationship to fill the gaps in your life alone. This will only leave you ever the more vulnerable if ever things go wrong. If you can focus on what you are missing in your life as an individual, you will be a much happier person, single or not! I apologise if this response was a but brief but really this is all there is to it. How do you think people can be happy alone? They have control of their life and live it to the fullest
  10. tobigahart
    Not that I've tried it (never been that depressed) but what Heretic says makes sense. Get up early and get out there. You don't need your mum, you are an individual and you can look after yourself. The challenges you face in life determine the person you become! You are stuck in a really difficult position, thats as clear as the light of day! but if you really put your mind to it you'll be able to get through, leaving the unsupportive people around you far behind. It is a very hard challenge but look inside yourself and believe you can do it. Remember this! If you truly believe something in your heart, then it might as well be true... If you tell yourself you are strong, you are capable, and that you can get through this and be a better person than you can imagine afterwards... then you can!
  11. tobigahart
    Anthony is your man in this situation outright! It is easy find someone who you find sexually attractive and as long as they're good looking (in your eyes) and you get along, you've got it. Finding someone who shares your exact interests and beleifs and would do anything for you can be excruciatingly difficult! The lower level of sexual attraction is only a minor thing and if after being together for a while, you still couldn't overcome it, at least you'd know you gave it a shot and you'd find being friends alot easier than if you always wondered what if? Once the attraction wears off between you and Paul you'll probably realise that your realtionship is missing the most important part. Give Anthony another shot. There are plently of Paul's out there but Anthony seems like a one of a kind. My only advice if you do get back with Anthony, don't make being intimate an issue to worry about. If you show him you love him physically, the attraction will bring itself upon you Good luck...
  12. tobigahart
    Got that straight! The cheaters always the one who's fault it is. If she got taken advantage of (like I was last year *cry*) then it's her own fault for letting herself be in that situation in the first place. However! If the guy was someone you know then feel free to beat him up anyway for being an inconsiderate prick
  13. tobigahart
    Lol, tiring... don't tell her that Guess it depends if you're making love or just trying to get off! I vibraters were too good then us fellas would go out of business...
  14. tobigahart
    Ohhh... mate I feel for you, it seems like you're really stuck here. As for advice... If you keep going the way you're going now you will get nowhere. She doesn't know what it's like when you're not around because she has you when she wants you. She is using you when she wants to and although you obviously love her, and she probably loves you too, I really don't think she knows what she wants and until you give her the time alone! to figure it out for herself she we keep doing this for a long time. She may not know it, or she may be ignoring it but she is really hurting you and doing only what is the best for herself. It will be VERY hard but you have to cut the ties if you ever hope to work things out in the future. If she loves you enough for you to be together again, she will come back to you. Don't give yourself over to her. Hold out and she'll know what it's really like living without you. It will be tough, but we're all here for you and if you think about it, it has to be done. I really hope you guys work out, Good luck...
  15. tobigahart
    Since you've been intimate before you shouldn't have too much trouble (well at least as some) in talking to her about this dillema. You know what you want, you have your bounds set out... and it seems that the only options best for you are to either be with her and have a living relationship, or cut the ties altogether. The feeling I am getting from you is that you are not happy with the current situation so looks like your gonna have to change it. Tell her she is giving you the wrong message and that she is either going to have to admit she likes you, tell you why she can't be with you, or break it off (relationshipwise) altogether. You're feelings count just as much as hers so take a stand.
  16. tobigahart
    Hmm I really feel for you mate. I have two things you can do to try and relax. The first is an easy one and helps relax your muscles making you feel like a squishy floppy thing Concentrate on your toes, flex them hard.. really hard! and hold it for 10 seconds then release... keep taking deep breaths. Now flex your ankles for 10 seconds and hold.. then relax... Work your way up your body, calves... thighs, stomach... fingers, hands... take your time! and take deep breaths!!! once you've reached your head, providing you really flex'd your muscles and held them for a long enough time your body should flop into your matress leaving your muscles very relaxed. Now for your head. It takes effort but what you have to do is imagine yourself in the most peaceful place you can think of. I myself prefer being in a lake at the bottom of a waterfall. Just lose yourself in the sounds of the place and the feelings of being there... and if you're really game, imagine meeting the love of your life (not your ex!) and let your mind drift... and dream... knowing that one day this will be the way you will live, in the near or distant future. Might not work for you but willpower is the key. You have to believe that happiness, greater! than what you have so far experienced, exists in the future... Good luck
  17. tobigahart
    Mate I think she may just be using you for comfort if she still loves her ex. The ball is clearly in her court in this situation. Ask for my opinion? She is doing what is right for her and not for you... and I think she is mistreating you BIG time. Your only way out ofthis is to talk to her and resolve this. It is clear as the light of day that she is sending signals your way! but if she's not willing to face the consequences (you falling for her) then she should'nt be doing this. I wouldn't worry too much about causing a rift between the two of you by bringing this out in the open, because its obvious she's openly flirting. Sorry but you're going to have to talk... I apologise that I couldn't bring you good news (one of the downfalls of being honest all the time!) but I honestly believe it is in the best interest of you both to discuss what's going on. Don't feel down though, you might be surprised by the results... and if things don't turn out the way you hope, then at least you know what she was doing and you can move on in your life. Hope it turns out ok
  18. tobigahart
    Agreed agreed agreed... they're both right. You did the right thing with will be better for the both of you in the long run. Anyway, once you're over her you might even become friends again. As for you, do a little thinking... don't repress your feelings, let them flow free and then begone with them. Once you're thinking clearly again (and it might take a while because of the 7 years) it will be time to resume your search for your one true love You have my support, and I wish you luck and happiness.
  19. tobigahart
    Yet again Heretic's right -- It is very unusual that she would come over and visit you but ultimately, if you are looking to save yourself from being hurt you are going to have to understand that she may come close to you only as a way of making it easier for herself. I did the same thing Giving in will give you short relief but its the talking that will be the best for you in the long run... Best of luck, I sincerely hope things work for you both.
  20. tobigahart
    Hey like she said though, they were bumpy from the start. Having sex could have been his way of hopefully strengthening the bond between himself and her. No guy hangs around trying to get sex for one year. To put it simply, you just have to realise he was not the one for you and neither were you the one for him. You took your relationship to the next level (by having sex) and unfortunately for you both it didn't help. Focus on the future, you'll find someone who appreciates you more and someone with whom you will be alot happier with. It's a shame it happened but it's time to move on. The best is yet to come...
  21. tobigahart
    Neither! 38 to 20 is too large of an age gap for you to work perfectly together. And seeing someone just cause they like you is no way to find true love either What you have to understand is that there is not one person out there who you could match perfectly with, but MANY! Don't settle for second best, you'll only regret it later in life. In you're aiming for true love wait till you find that perfect person who meets ALL of yoiur criteria (well I'm sure you could miss a few if you had to ). I have'nt found mine but I know there are people out there somewhere who would die for me, and me them...
  22. tobigahart
    Dam straight! Heretic knows his 5hit. Being happy is your own choice always. And life is a game (in my perspective, challenge). The more challenges you face, and subsequently conquer - the stronger you'll become and the better a person you will be overall. You don't NEED a girl to be happy. Sure it'd be nice and help distract you from what's really bothering you, but before you work this out... you're not gonna get far. Sort yourself out first, build yourself a opssitive perspective on life, you'll be fine.
  23. tobigahart
    Obviously your problem with sleep is related to being apart from your ex who you obviously loved. Perhaps you are still really hurting on the inside in which case your time to think at night will probably be doing you a good thing in terms of getting over her. One thing you might try doing is getting your thinking done during the day instead of forgetting about it because you are busy or active. Think of how much you miss her, how much you loved her, and then... how good it will feel when you find those feelings again with someone else... Sweet dreams! (weird thing to say to another guy but hey, who cares )
  24. tobigahart
    All you have to do to keep her interested (which eventually won't be a problem once you're in love ) are simple things like having lunch in the park or inviting her over to watch a few movies. Talking is the best way to really connect with someone so if you do things that just give you time to talk, you'll be fine. Just being in your company should be enough to keep her interested if she really likes you so don't worry! You'll be fine
  25. tobigahart
    Hey if she thinks she's better off alone then, well... she is gonna be surprised! You don't have to do a thing to get her back, she'll come begging if she has any sense. But if you want to give her a few hints along the way do small things like sending flowers or cards etc. She needs to be loved and you're the one to do it It's just a matter of time... Good Luck
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