kittykat

Hmmm... Seriously, i think there is no turning back. People usually break up on the pretext of something amiss. Like what a counsellor told me, people do not asks for breaks when they are happy. They ask for one when they have been unhappy for quite some time. Like you, me and my long time boyfriend broke up. He told me he felt that he didn't have the time because of his work to maintain the relationship. In actual fact, i found out much later that it was because he found someone else. I did what you did. I cried, begged and told him to give us another chance. We talked for the next month, didn't bring the matter up again. And viola! he called me and hastily told me it was over and ceased contact. I find it such irony. All i can advice you is that i know you really want the relationship back, you want to be with him all over again, but seriously, when you know he has turned away, he will never turn back sometimes. Do not be too optimistic, because i wouldn't want you to hold on to something and suffer another fall another time. Just find your close friends, i am sure they will be very supportive to your needs. Just give him the space he needs. I know it is tough, but please try. The more you pull him to you, the more he pushes away.... the theory of inertia. Take care of yourself and PM me, if you want to talk. Trust in yourself.... And... do not hide your tears. Cry out loud.. it would feel better... I'll be here.

not necessarily. I read my guy's mind.. but he left..

seriously notherenowhere, how can anyone be so heartless and yet walk off without a conscience.. it was 3 long hard earned years...

seriously, for guys Can you guys just leave a 3 year relationship and forget all the sex and all the passion all the good times and all the bad times you went through with someone who shared everything with you in just one month?? Please tell me? and within the same month, propose marriage to the new girl???

well, just an update. My ex, together for 3 years, had sex, had ups and downs which we braved together Read my initial post, Broke up with me a month ago Got together with this gal who adviced him to break up with me and told him that in a relationship people should be 100% compatible and no tolerance should be practiced. Now, he is intending to propose to her I feel so silly..

Thanks for the beautiful words. Just thought i could share with you a song. A song that really describes my feelings right now. its Roy Orbison - in dreams A candy colored clown they call the sandman tiptoes to my room everynight just to sprinkle star dust and to whisper "go to sleep, everything is alright" I close my eyes then i drift away into the magic night, i softly say a silent prayer like dreamers do then i fall asleep to dream my dreams of you in dreams i walk with you in dreams i talk to you in dreams you are mine all the time we're together in dreams, in dreams but just before the dawn i awake and find you gone i can't help it, i can't help it, if i cry i remember you said goodbye too bad it only seems it only happens in my dreams only in dreams in beautiful dreams I miss him....

Well, any ideas if this happens to a girl? As in if the guy was the one asking those questions and giving those doubts and yet after a relationship would be able to switch off like a switch?? My ex did... can anyone tell me why he is like that? why is a guy i loved so much treat me like this? And now he is with a new found gal

well, me and my boyfriend had a messy break up. It still is. I really want to get back together, but he thinks otherwise and is seeing someone else now.

Sorry sister lynch, i was not critising anything. I was just saying what i felt. I feel like the gal in his picture. The same thing happened to me and all i can do now is to pour out all these questions. He did admit and ask if he was a jerk. But question is, does he really want to admit it? Going and moving on from a long time relationship into another one so quickly doesn't justify his behaviour Didn't mean to get so critical...

I have been together with my boyfriend for more than 2 years. Things have been going pretty rough for us right from the start and we do hit bumps along the way in our relationship. We had also had sex and it was his first time as well as mine, Because we lived together for quite some time. I trusted him and he told me i was the one for him and so did i think so Right now, he has initiated break up with me and my whole world has crumbled. He said he wanted a breather. I guess because after sex, my attachment to him grew and started to get edgy with him at times. I would say insecure. And at the same time, we experienced a long distance relationship for like 6 months. He has now found someone else. He claims that it was only just after the break up. How can someone whom i have shared so much with, just walk away like that? Why is he so heartless? We are both religious people and it was not easy on us to share and have sex so often, but because i really believed he was the one. How can he just do this to me? Could anyone help? Why did he just turn away? doesn't he know how horrible it is to do something like this to someone? doesn't he have a heart? We both shared so much together. Maybe i did restrict a bit of his freedom.. but i was just so scared to lose him.

I know Coolguy.... i am trying.. but it is really tough to forget and not care for him and until today i am still loving him deeply. How can anyone forget something so intimate like a snap of his fingers? How could anyone just have a fling with someone for 3 long years? Not feeling anything??? How? How?

so.. he had some delusional thinking about the relationship for 3 long years and only waited for someone else to come along before he jumped the boat and 'woke' up from his delusional thinking that i should break this bond up because i didn't think she was the one for me right from the start. And because i was in delusional thinking, it also gave him the go ahead to have sex with someone he wasn't sure of. It also made him not only have sex once to realise it, but sex for 2 over years with someone he didn't feel right with... What is the logic behind that besides responsibility?

Yes, definitely he has the right to get out. But he has to first question if he was saying things out of anger? or was it straight from the heart. A relationship requires effort and work. spending time and effort in 2 years is quite a lot of time and effort put in. Yes, there might also be other factors that caused the break up. Friend's influence? Peer pressure. There was someone there so readily available so why not? Btw, why should he feel guilty if he did no wrong? unless he was cheating on her towards the end. Or else, why would there be the guilt element?

i can understand why you are saying all these. But have you all considered that the gal has given her all and everything to someone she thought would love her and cherish her. She gave unconditionally and that is what i see as true love. If you didn't love her, why sleep with her? if you didn't love her, why promise her? if you didn't love her, why keep her happy? Do you think that you are being justified by just jumping from one relationship to another just like a flip of a coin? Was it all just a game? where now it is just game over on the screen? How can this be fair to the other party? Can you justify if you were entirely unhappy for the past few years? I really cannot believe that anyone can say that!!!!! Think hard, think really hard adeius, WERE YOU?? WERE YOU REALLY UNHAPPY FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS? Don't let unhappiness in the bumpy part of the relationship at this point of time get you down and make you think that you were never happy or worse still, never even loved her! Don't do this!!!

You know something adeius, i think that having sex to someone and making promises to her at the same time can drive a gal to suicide. She has already said sorry ceaselessly, what do you want her to do? Kill herself before you forgive her? or probably you have forgiven her. But 3 years with someone for a gal is not an easy task. I am sure this gal loves you a lot! She can even disregard her dignity and ask you to go back with her. She knows that without you, her life is not worth living. And a guess is that this gal have sacrificed a lot for you. Has she ever quarreled with her parents over you? Has she given up her favorite food for you? Has she given in to your ceaseless requests? Has she tried to enjoy what you enjoyed? Has she given you lots of nice things that she felt meant a lot to you? Has she tried to get to know your friends better for you? Has she lost her virginity because of you? Has she disregarded what others felt and thought and still fought to be with you? If she has, why can't you give her another chance? Have you done equally amount she has done? What this gal has done is to love you unconditionally. All she ever wanted was your constant assurance, your constant attention and your constant love. That was all she wanted. And because she has lost something that meant alot to her, she used you as her crutches and you are complaining now that you are stuffed up. and hence breaking off with her. Well done! Probably she has done some things to make you angry. Probably like what most gals do would be to restrict your freedom, make lots of noise when you go out for a boy's night, quarel with you for no reason, make unreasonable requests and because of this, you are going to give up on her, what kinda man are you???? And yes, your own friends might not tell you, they might even support you in your face, but i can tell you for the fact that YES YOU ARE A JERK