bootowser

I know people always says this but for a girl like me who knows all the signs, i truly know he hasnt or isnt planning on cheating on me. He practically lived with me. When we didnt see each other i was getting calls or coming to pick him up,plus i livein a very small town where people talk. Believe me i would have heard it by now. He is worried that i deserve better due to a bad weekend where he defended his mate in a fight and ended up getting into trouble and missing his work with my dad. this was the night before the break. his dad gave him a hard tie and told him he didnt deserve someone like me who always treats him right. he feels like im the perfect girlf, as there seems no end to what i do for him. nobody could possibly give that much in return. all this reasoning doesnt help me get him back though? i know he must love me but contacting me to get back together is a whole other issue especially when he really feels all of the above?

this is the thing, he said i did make him happy. He thinks it was him not trying hard enough with me that made me unhappy. He couldnt be further from the truth. I loved all the time we spent and the things we did and most of all how he made me feel. I would love to tell him this but all the advice i get does stress not to call? His things are at my house, so we will have to make it very final at some point. I have hope but at the same time i cant imagine him making a move to reconcile as it has always been me who does the first moves. once before after a small argument we broke up...it ended with me agreeing with him and telling him i would be up later for my stuff. He ignored me and came to my house that night, never to speak of it again. I called his bluff...this time i really thought he would call me that night. but he stil says its over. it had been 4 days now. i just cant see him as the person i know him to be calling one night and declaring his love?

Hi... this is long, sorry im just in alot of pain. On Sunday my boyfriend and i split up. It was his choice as he told me i deserve better and he wasnt giving me enough. Thing is , he is all i want and makes me 100% happy. This all stems from me doing so much for him and him feeling guilty as he cant give me the same back..i think he is insecure. I begged, pleaded and sobbed but all it done was make him annoyed and frustrated. He says he still loves me but its for my own good as he isnt good enough for me. I tried to talk to him on monday night at his house but he just wondered about trying to distract himself..i wasnt making it easy as i was crying etc. He said he would stil love to be friends as i am his number one, the only girl he loves and he will always be there for me. He seemed so genuine. I want him back so much...I sent him a message to his mobile in the middle of the night and he called me right back to check i was ok, but he still wont think about things. He says he hasnt had time to think at all. tuesday, he called to make sure i was up for work at 7 am, called at tea time to see how i was (this time i was chatty, breezy and i didnt cry or make my voice sound pathetic and i never mentioned out break-up). then again last night at 11.30pm he called again as he was walking home from a football match..this time we spoke breifly again (stil not crying). I really want him back and i keep hoping he will change his mind..i wish i could run to him and tell him how i feel. we saw each other everyday for the past year and i know we were good together. Hardly any arguments or anything. Is there hope? or were the calls just guilt making him check on me as he cares?What if he misses me but lets his pride stop him? any advice from anyone been there and won them back? I never called him last night nor did he call me...the longer this goes on the worse i get. I feel like its not over yet, but what else is it...Lets face it he couldnt be anymore clear. but it was all done in such a quick conversation?

Tips for getting over him. ok...first of all face up to it..it sounds hard but you are not the first or last person to be dumped! Dont try to stay friends..it never works. It makes it harder to move on. Lets face it - do you really want to see your ex getting on with his new life and his potential new girlfriends? Staying around will not make him want you back...he dumped you! backing off from him may even do the trick . He may want you when he realises you have moved on. Imagine how good it will feel when you turn down his offer of a date as you have other arrangements with some other guy who you deserve! Delete his phone number, cell/mobile number! Discard his photos, and any other reminders! Look up old friends who may not have even met your ex- no reminders and you dont have to talk about him. All you have to do is go out and have fun! Feel free to cry if you still miss them...but give yourself a time limit of how long you are allowed to cry for! It sounds stupid but you need a release sometimes, this way it is controlled to a set time of only five mins! You will need at least one close friend who knows everything about the break up. One who will remind you what he did to you. This friend will probably hate him for hurting you so they are a great person to stop you contacting them, talking about them all the time and someone to help you get back out there! Everytime you are going to contact him- call her instead! It works! Have fun with guys....safe fun. Dating really does make you forget for a while and who knows you may meet somone ...maybe even your soulmate in the process! Make yourself happy..........never rely on anyone other than yourself to make you smile. Go out running, start painting, cooking, buy a pet ...anything to fulfill yourself today. Most of all , allow yourself in time to remember the goodtimes as this person was important once. If the break up was not too bad...e.g. no cheating, abuse etc. You may want to be friends. Only after a good time of being apart though.The more serious the relationship the longer you need. Cherish your yesterdays; dream your tomorrows; but live your today's.

I have to say this is a great community! you get sound advise from those you have been there before...all of my advise led me in the same direction. Do less, care less, accomplish more! Its already working...calling me when im out shopping(for me not him) calling me later on to see how my day was? Surprising me by having dinner ready!! Now all i have to do is keep up the good work! Thanks everyone - your great!