Maggiebebe

well it's about 12:45am here, and We are on our last thread, I CAN'T put myself through this anymore, theres too much. It all made me realise that our relationship was almost dependent on stress in our lives and as soon as that disappeared we started to see what was so wrong. He didn't call me again tonight....I had to call him, I was sick of going on with him knowing theres a problem, and not wanting to solve it. He knows he has hurt me, but doesn't know to what extent. I'm ending this tommz night, after work. JOY. Im in tears, i have been for the past 4 hours, and well actually since i came back i havn't had a night i didn't cry. Things aren't meant to be, it kills me to know this, but im only a teen, A KID....and i think this is the end of the world. All you guys ever hear is the bad stuff that ever happened in the relationship....don't you ever wonder about the good things? I'll tell you this much, e has done so much for me, in the past 9 months, it kills me to know how much i had. He was the one person i could vent about anything to....i was the same for him. we were perfect for eachother. once school ended no more stress filled our lives, we had to be a stronger relationship. Tonight he said he wants to be best friend, basically to paint you a picture of how good of friends we are and how this actually made me stop crying for a weird reason, without all the physical stuff we had, we were the best of friends careing for everything and everyone....I want to be able to kiss him though, his kiss was one place i felt he didn't see me as cheating him out on the 50/50 part of our relationship...he saw me as giving him at that time what he was giving me. We don't like talking over the phone i believe that anything that is important should be good enough to talk face to face. whats to become of me? AS OF TOMMZ NIGHT I WILL BE THE ONE PERSON WHO I FELL IN LOVE WITH's best friend....im happy as can be, because i know this is the best for us, and maybe we will rekindle down the road, maybe we won't. i don't know. im so hurt. torn....and all i ever wanted, was someone to hold me when i was down, in times like these, and that one person, is at home sleeping as we speek. so i left off on the phone wanting to ask him one question... i want to know if he has ever felt like i hurt him, anytime in the relationship, and then i want to know if he knows how much this screwing around has hurt me...... im off to sleep, i work and then i cry, i cry then i work, lifes never going to change only the people in it,the fun part is the way they shape you. ~Maggie "love is always there sometimes we just are too scared of it and need time to grow up before we can feel it again...let love lift us up..."-Maggie

well girl you have it pretty good, this guy seems like a sweetheart for being there for you. heres something i would do if i were in your shoes, i know im a little young (17) but i have learned a lot about love. TIME IS KEY TO ANYTHING, and it sucks cause we will never have enough of it. The people we meet are going to take up time in our lives...the ones we love will be with you forever. what i mean is this man seems like he figured out he is not ready for a HUGE commitment, he wants someone there to love while he can still figure out what he wants, not like hes putting you off to the side, but more like hes going out and seeing if you really are the one. and believe me ITS NOT GOING TO COME BACK TO YOU AS EASY AS PEOPLE MAKE IT SEEM....please understand that this man probablly still loves you, but isn't in love with you, sometimes we need to give others time to figure out what they want, and if it is love everything the run into, and everyone they run into won't compare to who you are, and who he loved so dearly. don't give up on him, but dont hastle him on love let him know you still love him, but you love him enough to see that he needs time to figure out what he needs in love and in life. i hope i helped. ~Maggie

so you loved her, she still loves you, and you fell out of love, hey dont be ashamed, its your feelings, i mean hey, you need to talk to her about it and i dont mean, the "so i think we should take a break deal" no i mean go up to her FACE TO FACE (if you do it over the phone thats no good) and talk to her, i mean sit down and say listen i know things are going great, and i know i loved you (and if you still care about her please tell her) but things have changed, people change and sometimes your "partner" isn't changing at the same pace as you. YOU need to realise that as her boyfriend you STILL need to respect her, you STILL need to be there for her, because there is a big difference in guys and girls, girls will break down at any moment, and its really hard when no one is there to say "im here as your best friend...." please show that you love her but your not in love with her. ~i hope i helped. ~Maggie

well....hes says he loves you, he says he doesn't, he says he cares about you but doesn't love you anymore....he throws you around along with your heart like it doesn't hurt....and we all know how much it hurts. hes miles away, doesn't want to talk.....okay well heres one meathod, you are getting upset with his not making up his mind, i know love is a tough fence to jump over, the question is he worth the jump, does he treat you so well that you would die without it, or could you do with someone elses love? someone who has some MORE qualities that you would cherish. Don't make an effort for a week, and see how he reacts, (REMEMBER THIS ISN"T BEING WHO YOU ARE) if he enjoys it, then he isn't worth it, being who you are is who he'll have to accept you for. if he doesn't see any change, id really have a talk with him cause if he can't see that you are making no effort thats pretty low. and if he sees it and questions it, then theres still probablly some hope, just give it time. and if anything DONT LET HIM HURT YOU, AND GET AWAY WITH IT....thats the worst pain you will ever feel. good luck

Where do I start, I'm 17, Confused, and I Love my boyfriend with all my heart. okay so this isn't going to a "one time he said "i hate you" deals".This is where I am hurt. We have been going out for 9 months, we built a non-physical relationship for the first 6 months, and after that we became a little more physical. My big value is FRIENDSHIP BEFORE LOVE. you can't off-the-bat love someone, because Love is a lesson in itself, no one's the teacher, everyone is the learner. So, he went on a vacation for 13 days and then we had one day together when he got back and i leaft the next day for 13 days also. Not so bad huh, and Neither of us cheated, we are both against that. I get off the plane, i had a suspicion that he had somet hings to talk about so the last 3 days of this trip I had some thinking to do, you know I love this boy so much, he is my best friend. I get off the plane and kiss him, his kiss felt different, more distant. (people say i have this weird way of reading people im close with) we get in the car and he says, "we need to talk..." i start crying. I don't know what to think, my heart aches to be Loved and I don't know if the one person it aches for is there anymore. We get to a park and he mentions some things in our relationship that are bothering him, mainly about me. He first says, "I don't know how much you really love me" it hurts to know you have put so much into something and the one person who should be realising it doesn't!!! we talked and then i said i will do everything in my power to make it work. but he has to be there to help me along, and he NEEDS TO GIVE ME TIME. so for the next week i am confused, crying all the time, i had my senior pictures one day and my mom asks if everything is okay between me and my boy and i burst out in tears. MY BELIEFES: i believe that love and lust have completely different qualities and one should be able to determine the difference. I believe that God doesn't have one person for us, but many on the way to finding the one you will settle with and those many prepare you and hurt you in ways you can't imagine so that the one you are to be with is so golden you put your heart and soul to their grave. I believe that Love has problems, that love is about sacrafices and that love needs to be cared for. I believe that a non-physical relationship would beat all the odds, one with physical stuff needs to be watched 24/7 it needs to be built on love. my value in life is whatever you do wherever you are build it on love and love only. because only then will it mean something to anyone. PROBLEM: Now that I have been thinking round the clock, (in my sleep, at work, when im with friends, when im with family) i have thought a lot about some stuff like how I know some things aren't meant to be, and I know that sometimes we need to accept who people are. (he doesn't seem to do that a lot) i have realised that he doesn't like to think about what little things make me happy. some of those little things interferre with the little things he doesn't like to do, which i understand, BUT WE ALL HAVE NEEDS AM I WRONG? He said that I don't do some of those little things for him, and in reality, I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY ARE UNLESS I AM HIM, because no one can do what you like unless you inform them. I am in immence amounts of pain, he seems like he wants it to be over, hes not clear with body language, i seem to be doing A LOT OF THE WORK NOW. i want him to know that i do all that i can but sooner or later im going to breakdown from all the stress of not being loved in return. PLEASE HELP!!! Please help me, you can analyse what i have said you can give me tips. anything please!!! or email me email removed

Hey, don't bring yourself down! I know I'm a "little" too young (17) but I'll tell you this, we all know Love from different perspectives. Well I had just gotten back from a trip and this was the first time i had seen him in...26 days or so...And man its tough. we are still together (almost 10 months !) , but heres my story and how i have coped. He said right away " we need to talk"...i cried right then and there. we went to a park and he talked to me about all of this stuff going on that we have talked about tonns of times. o man that was last week and i was in so much pain, we worked things out...but he did mention "if you havn't noticed i have been having second thoughts" so ever since i herd those words, i have been very depressed...feeling like this is just time before he really breaks my heart. I told him that i will put in all i have for Love even though i have been i will put in even more JUST FOR US. notice how hes doing this talk with me and most of the things he says are very one sided. I have learned so much in the past 10 days than i have ever learned about relationships. 1. Never EVER give up who you are for someone else....this in turn will HURT YOU... 2.YOU aren't the only one with problems, suggest that you will work on those as hard as you can, but in return you need him to be there for you with as much love as you give him....because YOU ARE DOING THIS TO MAKE BOTH OF YOU BETTER. 3. don't start up a "well you have problems too" convo....there is only so much your body and mind can handle at one point in time, work on those, and if anything comes up that will help you along bring it up. i know its hard knowing its just a matter of time before it happens...but ask yourself, if hes hurting you...do you deserve to be in pain? I am confused still to this day (hence why i came to this site) i won't goto my friends because they don't give good advice...love isn't going to be all happiness, love is going to be a challenge that isn't going to take 5 days.....love is a journey that we all find impossible and some of us GIVE UP. (like my boy, i know hes giving up) I am too much of a loving person, really i am, i give all i can whenever i can, and to have the one person you love hurt you, makes you want to die, I actually lost my appetite because i was crying so much i wouldn't be able to swallow, (nothing serious, just temporary) but you need to be strong, and see that sometimes, it isn't meant to be. one last word, put in your all, have him put in his all too. if things are still bad, don't give up but ask yourself if you have enough energy to start again with him (give up all that BS....and be friends till things calm down) or if its better you part ways? its a tough life we live, and we need to live it the best we can with hurting as less people as we can, but to do that would seemingly impossible, knowing we aren't inside eachothers heads. good luck keep in touch. ~ listen to this song, or read the lyrics, "When You Come Back Down" - Nickel Creek