greenie

ok, so basically everyone is saying ages and such. I see everyone's point, but now there is the question of is it so wrong to marry at a younger age and grow with your partner or grow on your own and look for the person that would fit with you? Personally, I think that if you are lucky enough to find someone when you are in your early 20s that you feel complete around and who respects and loves you jsut the same, that it is the best time to get married. I think that growing with that person is better and helps you guys to get along much more easily and happily. I may be wrong but many of us hope to be with someone and share the love, so why not jsut start young and grow with that person?

also what do you guys think will happen when you know that you are ready to settle down with that person? you'll always wonder what if, but when do you just ignore that?

the same thing is happening to me. only my man was only in kuwait for a month and he was in ft. lee va for another 4 months before that. they didn't have a mission for them, so he basically wasted all that time. he's back now and a little depressed. he said he's not happy with himself. and i could tell things we different before he had even said that. i don't know how to help him and what to do. we are much younger, 21, but I want to be able to help him but i don't know what to do. any suggestions?

how old do you guys think it is right to get married? I know there is the whole factor of love and emotions, but basically, what age do you feel is right to get married? How young seems too young and how old seems too late? Just speaking idealy, i know in the real world, there are many many more factors than age, i just wanted everyone's opinion. thanks

maggie, thank you very much for your advice. as time goes on i am learning that he is just a bit unhappy with himself. as he puts it. I don't know how to be tehre for him without pressuring him into anything your advice was very nice, have you gone through something like this before? not to sound rude, but why am i lucky, i feel so bad for him. i feel as though there isnt a thing i can do to help him. the man i love sooo much.

It sounds like he will jsut keep these trends going because you allow it. Go out and keepp yourself busy, date others and have fun. You can't convince him that you were meant to be, so unless he feels it and is ready to act on it, he is just stringing you along. Don't let him do that.

Is it stupid to break up so that you and your partner can work more on a friendship? It gives eachother space and a chance to see what life was like with less eachother. Has anyone ever done this? What would the cautions of this be?

sounds like you do miss her, but give her her space. If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't see the harm in calling her and talking about what you want in a relationship and ask her. Communicate. THe more clear you are on how the other is feeling, the space you have to fill in with your interpretation of things. Is marriage right for you guys? Not now obviously and it will take time to regain the trust that you are both in the relatioship for hte irght reasons. Time apart won't kill you either, it is time to grow and think on your own for a while.

how long ago did you guys break up? and who broke it off and why? I just wanted to get a better idea of what the background is on this. thanks

Secret agent man i must say you do give very complete advice. I reread your response today (after going kayaking and enjoying myself yeasterday evening) and I feel as though youhave steered me in the right direction. If he wants me back, we will need to seriously lay out what we expect and want and determine from there where to go. but for now, just space to grow on our own a little. I must say i am concerned (in the back of my mind) that we may grow apart. I hope this does not happen, and will try not to let it happen. I don't feel as though it is right for me to call him right now or for a couple weeks, just to give him some space. However, when we broke up he said he wanted to play tennis with me sometime this week, so im thinking I'll at least get a call from him, it not end up playing tennis with him. I plan to have fun with him and play tennis, im not going to hold myself back and keep to doing nothing, but do you think he is trying to lead me on? from another person's point of view, does this sound like a break up for good? I know you don't know all aspects and you don't need to answer, but i like hearing people's opinions. hence, the reason i post my thoughts and concerns. haha

Why are you asking that question? every girl is different and if you are trying to change yourself, well i can tell you that is something that a girl does NOT want.

as a girl, i think that your ex needs to learn to be aight on her own. It sounds like she just wants a man in her life to have a man in her life, whichever is cuter and more successful is the one she prefers. Now unless there is a lot of love for her in your heart andyou feel the same from her, I would just keep in the path you are in. There are other women out there and any woman would see a man with goals such as yourself in a good light. So date around

mad props for not letting your lower "brain" lead you. I think its awesome that you got out of the relationship and feel confident about yourself, it's just going to make her admire you more.

I think if you just wait till you see her in school again, giving her this time to herself and her jobs, that she will feel more relieved. I understand she needs to make money and with this economy, sometimes it requires 2 jobs and since you are 1.5 hours away, it would make sense to spend your time working so that when she does see you again, she doesn't have to be so concerned with money. As a girl, if i was to be stuck 1.5 hours from my man, and i had the option of making money over the summer and still seeing him in the school year, I would do what she was doing. She probably jsut knows she isn't holding up her end of the relationship and rather than a break up, maybe she is just talking a break. Hope this helps

i wouldn't do anything you don't want to do. everything is worth a try, but if you are feeling pressured, i would let her know. Yeah you should give it a try, but you won't enjoy yourself if you are forced to do something you don't want to do.