Titus

Thanks for your kind words. It's really good to hear that there is hope for the future (our future). Again fear is a factor - we may meet someone else - but I will have to deal with that when the time comes. In the meantime you are right - I will have to take this oportunity for some self development. Here goes. Thanks, Titus

Someday - Let me try to explain my words: Why do I think I've lost her? I took her for granted - and let our relationship stagnate - there was nothing to hope for, look forward to - nothing for our future. I could of made it more exciting - listened to her and kept the relationship interesting - I didn't. Why didn't I think I'd lose her - because I was selfish - I put myself first - my desire's before anything else. Because we had gone through tough times in the past - and we'd always manged to get through them - and I thought this would be the same. She was always strong - believed in me - in us. She fought for our relationship from the start - I was unsure at times - unsure even though I could trust her with everything I am. I was an idiot. Again I took her for granted because I put myself first. Instead of spending time with her - example - she would want to clean the garage - go through old stuff, throw things out. I would think - Awww not something else to do again and tell her I was to tired etc. then go and watch Tv - or go onto the computer. In reality I was missing the point. The point is to spend time with each other - to laugh, share the exerience with each other. She understood that - I understand this now, but it's to late. It's hard, because she opened my eyes to so many new and wonderful things. I will be OK in time, but I think I will never get over this 100%

Thank you Taurean for your post. It is good to hear from people who have been through similar events - and who have obviously got through to the other side. Wise words - and ones I will try and live by over these next few weeks - until the ache has gone away and my appetite returned. It's tough to adjust to being single again - or think of the dating scene - and of the dinner/movies etc that lay ahead - of the endless "what do you do" conversations. In time I'm sure that will go away - and my old self will return. I have found my friends are indeed true, honest and helpful. I am blessed in that department. Again thank you for your post - it has been helpful.

yes I have spoken yo her about that. She told me to go out and have fun. and If I meet someone then so be it. She said the same thing for herself. I relaise that I messed up in the relationship - on several levels. I took her for granted and didn't appreciate her until it was to late. I've told her this - but she just sayd and her is what she sent me in an instant message: We have tried - over and over. I don't want to try anymore right now. I need a break. Toudh break - especially since I want it now - again to late. I hope that if I give her the space she will come back? whats the chance? has this happened to anyone here? I'm not holding my breath.

I will try. It's hard and many people have been through this before. We both love and care for each other - we still tell each other that. It's hard to imagine me loving, touching and caring for someone as much. Sometimes life sucks.

I understand that - it makes sense - but I don't want this feeling to go away - I don't want the hurt to go away - because if it does, it means she goes away. I know what I must do - It just hurts A LOT.

I'm having a problem dealing with my break up - and I needed a place to vent. My girlfriend of 4.5 yrs - 2 weeks ago we recently broke up - after having problems and trying to make things work out, we both decided to give each other space. It was a good breakup (if one is ever good) and we are on good terms. It's just I think I've messed things up. I love her. She told me we were not moving on in our relationship - she wanted to get married 2 yrs ago - but I kept putting her off. Now for the first time in my life I know what I want - her. I've tried talking to her - time and time again - but she just says she's happy not being together - that she needed space. That she needs to figure things out. It's hell. nothing could be worse than this. I can't stop thinking about her - loving her and needing her. I'm a strong person, but can't seem to get things together. I cry, am sad - I try and do the things that I always do - gym, kung fu, movies with friends - but it seems it's all for nothing without her in my life. I've moved out, found a small apartment (we lived in a house together) - and I feel terrible. I even drove to her house last night - I wanted to take her in my arms - hold her and take her away. Lucky for me - I think - she was not there. I'm trying to get it together - I know I need to leave her alone and give her time - I'm afraid though that we will meet someone else. You must understand how amazing this woman is - and how there will never be anyone like her again.

I'm going through the same thing - I realised to late that I love my girlfriend of 4 yrs - more than anything else in the world. She wanted to get married 2 yrs ago - I kept putting it off. I realized all the things that I cared about are meaningless without her. My advice is not to become friends. Seperation - however hard - is the only way to get her back into your life (if at all). She needs to know that you will not be there for her to lean on all of the time - she needs to know what she is missing. Perhaps, she will find out that she doesn't want to be with you - and if thats the case you will need to come to terms with that. But for you - in order for you to live your life, you should break off all contact - how can you live your life for yourself when you are at the beck and call of your ex-girlfriend. She wants the best of both worlds - to be single, yet to have your love and support. Thats not fair on you, because she will never return that in the current situation. You should do what is right - break it off completely and move on. I imagine one day in the future you will get that phone call from her - and by that time, you may not even be interested.