Jump to content

tobigahart

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    103

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by tobigahart

  1. tobigahart
    In this case I would say manipulative is a bit too harsh. Alot of girls can just be insecure and they will feel the need to make you want them. They want to feel needed, they want to feel special, she may just want to hear from you that it upsets you when she ignores you. And yes, segagirl is right when she says girls must have what they want when they want it *sigh* aren't they cruel to us? As a solution, don't play her games with her (you ignoring her cause she is you) as this will lead straight to disaster. What you need to do it talk to her and tell her you are unhappy when she does not reply. Either she'll say sorry, realise how much you like her, and then make a effort to respond to you sooner OR she'll think your being stupid and not agree to do anything in which case you're better off finding out what she's really like now rather than later. If you're still on the forums lets us know how things work out... Good luck
  2. tobigahart
    She's the one with the issues mate, not you! I see my ex (who I left) almost every week and we get along great. Occasionaly she might have a cry and wonder why I left her but I'm always there for support. Mate I have no idea why she would be doing this. And you're right, something is wrong if you were totally in love for years and now she can't even talk to her. There is a slight possibility that it might be easier for her to not see you because she is suppresing the fealings she had for you and has still not worked through the breakup. Even if you're the one doing the breaking up it still hurts like hell... Other than that I don't think anyone is going to be able to give you other reasons for her behaviour. You know her better than we do and you know she isn't a nasty person on the inside. The sad thing is, you might just have to forget about her. It is a loss to you but its also her loss to lose a friend such as yourself. Sometimes thats just the way things are.
  3. tobigahart
    Hmmm... well if I was in that situation I guess a way of finding out without actually saying to her "i like you" would to be to step up from going to movies and talking to the next level. Ask her out to dinner. You are young though so I don't know if people your age do that but I reckon that would be a good start. Or if you're really brave, next time you're out together hold her hand She'll get the message...
  4. tobigahart
    Agreed... You're going to have to go at her pace here. She knows you're there and she'll let you know when she's ready again. It might be tough for you but just give her space and stay friends. Its clear she's not ready but you'll know when she is. Good luck!
  5. tobigahart
    Jeez I have been answering alot of tough ones tonite and this is one of them! First off, you sound like such a fantastic guy thinking about the wellbeing of others before yourself. That is definitely one of the finest charateristics a personality can have and you've got it. But but but! Although in his (the bf) ignorance of thinking his girlfriend is probably entirely devoted to him, he is actually being cheated by her in that she has feelings for someone else. Trust me, if he knew the reason she was with her (because you both feel he needs her for support) he would not be a happy person and he would rather she be entirely truthful to him. So although you both will be hurting him in doing so, and although you will probably feel like a selfish moron, it is only fair that he knows the truth regardless of how much it will hurt him. He will feel like his world is crashing down around him but once he's recovered he'll be alot better off and so will the both of you. Poor guy, I feel for him...
  6. tobigahart
    Now that's a tough one! I'm gonna have to think about this one for a bit... Firstly, not often is it the woman is the one not happy with the sex life. Well one thing is for sure, you have been together for 12 years so it won't/shouldn't be anything to do with you not being attractive in his eyes cause in my experience you tend to get past the looks of your partner after a while. As for what to do, you really only can talk about it... either together or with a counselor. Its such a shame that this has happened to you, especially considering the fact he is masturbating and reading porno's. A mutual sexual satisfaction is a VITAL part of a relationship and he needs to know how it is affecting the relationship overall. It will get worse and you will become more unhappy. If he notices you are unhappy alot of the time and that something is bothering you, if he cares about you in the way he should, he will inquire and will eventually have to resolve this problem you both have. I think the best thing you can do now is not try to cover up your unhappiness but let it be known, regardless of the time of the day. He WILL pick up on it... and if he doesn't, then there's another problem. Sorry that I can't bring good news but we're all here for support if you need us. I sincerely hope you guys can work this out and I wish you the best of luck.
  7. tobigahart
    Heehee you're funny! As if the nice people of this forum would ever brush you off just cause you're young. My advice, since you have both been together already you've done the hard part in getting to know eachother! Me and my ex (when we were together) never talked on the phone after the first few months. You begin to value time together alot more and you'll find it much easier being with someone in person and trying to find stuff to chat about. Maybe you can ask her out to lunch or to come see a movie or something. This way you can find out if you actually do have some stuff to talk about when you are in person. Anyway good luck. I think you're already lucky! I didn't get my first kiss till 17!!!!!!!!!
  8. tobigahart
    Hmmm... you're doing what I was doing to my ex. It probably comforts you to be in his presense as this is the way you guys have been for quite a while but deep inside you know its not right. The best thign for both of you is for you to NOT see him anymore. You really have the cut the ties if you both hope to be able to get out of this and still be friends. It will take him longer than it will take you to get over the realtionship but it is guranteed that both of you will be better off in the long run... You are going to hurt but you always have us for comfort and support I hope things work out for the both of you.
  9. tobigahart
    Yah that's probably what you will have to do. The problem is though that you have not really moved on from her. I don't really know how to give advice on moving on from someone (i'm usually the heartbreaker ) but you just need to understand that to move on you will need a decent break from her completely. For a 5 year relationship, especially if it was a great one you will need months! to get over her. Staying in contact WILL prolong the process and dragging it out will only wear you down. It IS going to be hard but you can do it! Look forward to falling in love again, cause if you ask me, its the falling thats the best bit
  10. tobigahart
    awwww I would not be worried. You have to learn to look past such things as this. There are really only two ways this road can fork. 1. He does fall for this girl and does something unfaithful. In this case you win because you have found out sooner rather than later that he is not 100% devoted to you and thus not your perfect match. 2. He does nothing. He'd much rather have you than any other girl in the world (he stopped seeing his ex for you!) and you have nothing to worry about. Remember, even if he does decide he likes this girl better then you ARE better of finding this out as soon as possible rather than a few years down the track. There is someone perfect out there for you and you WILL find them - or maybe you already have
  11. tobigahart
    *sigh* the classic "should I tell her or not" situation... In my experience and that of others around me waiting is far too taxing on yourself both emotionaly and physically. If she makes you go to mush whenever you're around her then staying as just friends will kill you! and probably only get worse and worse. The thing is though, you don't have to go all out and tell he you'd die for her. I would advise letting her know you're interested in her but keeping a confident stance. Don't let her know you're going to go home and cry if she says no, act confident but let her see that its ok if she says no. This way, if she is interested she'll say yes! in which case you can THEN work on telling her your true feelings (not right away of course ). If she says she'd rather stay friends just smile and say "can't blame a guy for trying". Save the agonising heartbreaking for when you get home, you don't want her to have you out of sympathy! This way you can EASILY stay friends if it doesn't work and you'll also know that she's not interested, thus allowing you to move on in life and continue the search for you one true love Best of ~~LUCK~~
  12. tobigahart
    Hey! Chear up you'll be ok. Understand that the reason you are probaby feeling jealous is because it wasn't your choice. What you really need to do is focus on the possitives of the situation and not the negatives. You are free now! You obviously were not perfect for eachother otherwise this would not have happened. If you are having these problems now think of how it would have been in the future. It would probably only get worse. Believe that there are plently of people out there who think the same way you do and plently more guys with whom you could have a wonderful and fullfilling relationship. Just try to move on from this guy and resume the search for your soulmate Good luck, hope you feel better soon
  13. tobigahart
    One hint... DO NOT stay together for the sake of the kids that's foolish. It will only be worse for the two of you and your kids if you do this. Parents breaking up isn' the be-all and end-all for kids, it's common these days and trust me, having two happy families instead of one unhappy one is far more ideal and suitable for the kids. And if you think I don't know what I'm taling about I do! My parents split when I was 10, boohoo I'm the happiest I could ever have been and that's because my parents were and are happy being with other people. Having parents split my be confusing for a bit but you get used to it and after a while it's just the way it is
  14. tobigahart
    Awww - as a bringer of good news I hate to say this but I don't think things look good. If she is taking out her anger on you and you are still being as nice as you can then their is a good chance that the problem is related to you. Maybe she is bored and maybe she does want to leave you. I did the same thing myself to my ex. Not much you can do will be able to change what she thinks if this is the case. I think the best thing for you to do is give her some space (don't contact her, let her come to you) and let her work out her problems without having you involved. If she is contemplating leaving you then you're better off finding out sooner than later. If the problem has nothing to do with you then she will really miss you! and realise she actually does need your support. If this is the case (lets cross our fingers) then she'll come back to you and apologise after realising she can't live without you Good luck
  15. tobigahart
    Lol that questions a bit ambiguous. I guess it would depend on how I felt about the person!!! If it was someone I really liked then I'd slowly approach, put my arms around their body and draw them into a deep kiss
  16. tobigahart
    I can tell you why she is doing it. If she was with you for three years then sh no doubt genuinly cares about you. Regardless of what she may have done to you (I did the same thing to my ex, cheated after 3 years but thats another story) she may still love you and will still care about you. And if she says she's busy then she probably was. Its up to you where you want to go from here. Understand that getting back together is not an option. You can either accept that you can only be friends from now on, or let her know you'd rather not have her in your life at the moment. Don't pick up the wrong signals, she isn't trying to get back with you... just trying to make sure you're ok...
  17. tobigahart
    Exactly as they said. You have to accept yourself as a person before you can truly be happy. You think guys with muscles are cool? Get some In the end though as mentioned above, looks are not what counts. Theyr'e just there to catch attention. If you can real a girl in using a different method (funny, supportive, blah blah) then you can let your personality take over and really hit home.
  18. tobigahart
    Hehe attractive. Hey, like it matters after 8 months! I think you both should be over that by now and that should be the very least of your worries! Anyway he's probably telling all the fellas how he has a georgious girl waiting for him and trust me, the more he thinks and talks about you- the morehe will want you. He'll just be making other girls jealous. No probs for you sweetie Love is the strongest force there is and it sounds like you've got it.
  19. tobigahart
    Agreed. Just cause they're going together doesn't mean she wants him! Could even be trying to make you jealous hey? If you've got the confidence then make the move. Anyway, just cause he goes with her doesn't mean she won't leave with you Good luck! The regret will kill you more than the rejection
  20. tobigahart
    I don't think she is being nice to you. *sigh* If she is not willing to deal with the problem or look at it then you seriously have to consider where therealtionship is heading from here. If she loves you and wants to be with you then she will talk about it, but if she doesn't then I don't think there is much you can do... Your heart will tell you what's right, and although you might not like what it says... ultimately you can only be happy if you truly follow your hearts desire. I sincerely hope the best for you. Just remember, there is plently of love in the world and I'm sure if you have found it once you'll find it again
  21. tobigahart
    definitely a tough one. Isn't love just the craziest thing? I would reccomend ending it because unless you are both totally bessoted with eachother and have been for along time then there are defintely more guys out there who will be able to make you just as happy while also giving you the convenience of being closer to your own age There is plently of love in the world and as long as you believe it, you will find love again and it will be just as sweet
  22. tobigahart
    Look at you! You're in love, how sweet. You so lucky, very very lucky. Be happy, overjoyed... smile to yourself. Take a look at the scenarios. 1. He doesn't love and will not be faithful. You relationship will suck but won't go on for long and afterwards you'll feel better about not having wasted too much time being with someone who is not perfect for you... 2. OMG he loves you!!! Don't worry, be happy. Either way it will work out for the best. Remember you should'nt aim for a good relationship, you should aim for a perfect realtionship and finding out sooner if he is a decent guy or not is a good thing regardless of the outcome Blah I crap on alot, kinda get carried away sometimes *hugs* hope you fell better...
  23. tobigahart
    Trust me, learning to love yourself will be the greatest turning point in your life. Ultimately you have to really know yourself before you love yourself (how can you love someone you don't know?!?!). You have to know your strengths and your weaknesses. Me? I have a killer brain that can do anything but I'm damn lazy and don't study. Who cares, thats me I'm very veeeeery shy, but one of the nicest people I know. Look for what you value in a person in yourself! Do you value care and generosity in a person? Well if you do then look at yourself, are you caring and generous? If not then damn! hop to it do some givin and some lovin! Become the type of person you love and you will ultimately love yourself Easy as pie! I found this out at age 20, only 1.5 years ago but ever since my life has been all the better
  24. tobigahart
    Woa common not everyone can just go in for the kiss. It's one thing to think you can do it but when it comes down to the few seconds before you go in, if its not the way you do it then its not the way you do it and you won't be able to go through. There are shy guys and there are not shy guys. We most likely are all shy guys Brando above has is right though that you can't cannot no way be in love with someone and be willing to accept friendship. It is true that you are probably using this as an excuse. Choosing the "friends" route will result in months of pain in which you will probably end up going out of your way to do anyhting for her, and in the end she will notice which brings you right back around to where you are now. Skip the months of pain and just talk to her. Don't mention ~love~ and keep the mood light hearted... Smile and pretend you're confident (lol, who really is?). Just let her know you like her... hell if I know the best way to do that, think you need a girls opinion for that one but if worst comes to worst at least you'll know and you'll be free to move on Best luck!
  25. tobigahart
    Yeh apparently we have to pretend we're confident regardless of the real guy we are My greatest problem is that I always assume everyone thinks like me. For instance, if I really liked a girl and she called me up no matter how damn tired I was I would talk to her all night long. But "maybe" what you might think someone is thinking is not actually what they are thinking. Back to you ----> If she is shy like you say then I am guessing she'll want you to take command. And besides, if you dont see her anymore anyway you can't have that much to lose. Regret will always be your greatest enemy causing far more sadness than you'll get from going all out and risking what you have now, which if you think about it isn't that great. Trying to be "just friends" with someone to whom you feel more for just won't work. If she rejects you, maybe a day or two you'll feel a bit sad but you will feel the great weight on your shoulders lifted right off once you recover. And no more worries, no more stress... you can move on. Best of Luck! If she isn't keen then she's not the one and you're better of knowing that sooner than later
×
×
  • Create New...