poohiegirl33

I know it sounds like I am pressuring him because I am talking to all of you in detail so that you will understand how I am feeling and what is going on. But, its not just the sex. I just want to be noticed. Just to have some attention. I don't know about other women....but, I need to feel loved and need to feel needed. I am not getting that here. And, I just feel so hopeless. He is a wonderful loving father though. And, he has really never been a overly loving person. But, it just seems to be getting worse the longer we are married. I have prayed about it. I was brought up in church and understand the Bible. So, I do know that it says that in the Bible. But, like I said........its not just the sex. I just want to feel like my husband loves me. Like I am not the only one in this relationship. I have never been unfaithful. But, I can honestly see why someone would be unfaithful when they don't feel loved. I would love to just be held and told that I am loved and appreciated for what I do. I guess alot of married women go through this. And, men don't always show their feelings. But, once in a while would be nice.

Thank you all for the great advice. I don't really think he is having an affair. But, I do think he has lust in his heart. He is a wonderful family man. Great father. And, I do think he feels guilty that he is having these lustful thoughts. But, still doesn't know how to get rid of them. And, looking at nude women isn't helping any. I think that I am an attractive woman. Although I have gained 25 lbs I am by no means huge. And, still have men flirt with me. So, I don't think I am to the point where he shouldn't want to have sex with me. But, I am currently on a diet. He says thats not why he has no desire though. He just keeps saying he's just tired all of the time. But, from what I have known about men........they are never that tired. At least not ALL the time. The funny thing is.....it doesn't seem to bother him at all that we don't have sex but every month or so. To me though....it just doesn't seem right. I want the affection......that goes with it. He never goes a day without saying he loves me. But, sometimes I am afraid that is just a habit that we have always done. I feel like if you love someone then you want to show them. He tells me that its all I think about. And, yes.....it is........when you only get it maybe once in two months. And, even then you only get it if you start it. I have done so many things to try to maybe put him in the mood. Even when I act like I won't take no for an answer..........he still says NO. I am very calm with him about this. I am not a loud nagging person. I just don't feel like this is normal. Do any of you think its normal?

I don't know what else to do. My husband never seems to have any desire to have sex. We have been married for 12 years. We just moved into a new house the end of March and have had sex one time since we have been here. It makes me feel so rejected. I am always trying to get him to and he always says he's tired. He does work alot of hours and his job is very physical. I try to be understanding. But, we are only in our 30's. The thing is he loves to look at dirty magazines. I hate them. It makes me feel even more rejected that he wants to look at other women. Especially when he isn't having sex with me. And, anytime he is alone he always masterbates. I don't understand if he is too tired to have sex with me but, not too tired to masterbate. I love sex and enjoy it very much. I have told him several times that I am not happy with the way things are and he just seems to have no desire to change it. We have a really good relationship other than that. But, if I try to talk to him about it he gets really angry with me. But, I don't feel like it is good for our marriage to go so long without having sex. And, yes.......I love the closeness that comes with the sex. I feel like I am in a one sided relationship. I am the only one who shows love to the other one.