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  1. Hi there Well this has been an ongoing issue hence the reason why this is starting to get to me. I know this has annoyed others who i have worked with as i work in a notorious y profession. Well I just hate it when i am saying something to someone and they stare at someone when I am saying it like I am stupid. Like today, i was telling someone my view on something and the b*tch i can't stand just stared at him like i am stupid or something. Thank god she is leaving in 4 weeks. I do have low self esteem and confidence and i am working on it but i hate this passive aggressive behaviour. L
  2. I have a two year old domestic short hair cat. She is an indoor cat, but always anxious to get outside any time she sees the opportunity. She rushes past me when I open the door and if my arms are full I cannot immediately stop her. So, a few times a week she ends up being outside for a short while until I can lure her back in. I have several toys in the house to keep her occupied, but it does not seem to replace her interest in the great outdoors. I let her sit in window ledges to look outside and get a whiff of the good outdoor smells, but she sees squirrels and chipmunks and runs to
  3. Quarantine has me unearthing a lot of pain that I psychologically suppressed. One of those pains is my sexual experience I with an ex partner. *If I consent to sex and my partner decides to do unconsented sexual aggression like squeezing and pinching, almost like BDSM pain torture stuff, is this sexual assault? (I was in what I thought was a loving relationship and him being aggressive or wanting to hurt me was shocking) is this sexual abuse? *If I consented but show a non verbal revoke of consent like pulling away to the point where he was chasing me across the bed to get acces
  4. Hi all… Many of you will remember me from a few months ago and six months ago… I’ve been with my lady friend for pretty much a year. We’ve had our difficulties, but the last bunch of months have been without major turmoil. Until tonight. This is a pretty menial conflict, but I wouldn’t mind your input on it. I’ll preface the whole thing by saying that my lady friend had someone she cares about pass away this week, so she is certainly on edge. That should probably explain everything I need to know, really. That being said, she was seemingly quite angry with me because of what see
  5. We are 31 and 30. After a very 1.5 difficult relationship: he is a loving person but also a very mean person. I don’t know where i had the strength to keep going. Basically I thought that if i keep going, if i am generous, loving and show him how nice life can be he will reciprocate and we will make it. I finally told him we should stop seeing each other because although we decided to live together from September while i was away he told me he doesn’t trust me and has doubts (at the beginning of our relationship he read my journal where i had wrote how much better another guy is than him - i
  6. Ever since the beginning my boyfriend has been telling me that I am being mean. He uses phrases like "taking a jab" at him, "Yelling", "twisting the knife", things like that when I have no amount of anger in me. Ill be totally happy and content. When he does this it really hurts my feelings, like breaks my heart. He acts like such a victim and when I try to stick up for myself or explain to him that I wasn't being mean it turns into a fight. I noticed a pattern of when this happens he 1st gets really defensive then i'll get the "your tongue is like a knife". He also tells me sometimes that I a
  7. Me and my girlfriend have had a really rough last couple of years. We’ve been at each other’s throats figuratively and literally. We both communicated very different and I had some pretty bad anxiety that caused me to be an avoidant when she had questions. We both see physical touch differently. For me it comfort, for her it’s aggression. I would try to be calming, but I’m a big strong guy and my touch came off more aggressive than it was in my head. This would cause a trigger and things normally escalate. I’ve shoved and pinned her either to try and calm her or out of self defense.
  8. Until last night I had been in a relationship for three years and it was one in which I was always walking on eggshells and disregard my own wants/needs in order to avoid him lashing out. His moodiness was legendary (his mother even asked how on earth I put up with them) and whenever the slightest thing didn't go his way he would show aggressive tendencies, such as kicking a chair or making out like he was going to punch me. He would call me deeply offensive names (f*cking c*nt etc) if I disagreed with him over the tiniest detail. He never actually assaulted me, but I was always fearful of
  9. I'm in my mid 20's and am in the early stages of my career. I've been lucky enough to land a second job that is more in the direction I want my career to go and they are willing to train me. The thing is I've been living most of my life in a city that I kind of hate and am ready for a change. The cost of living is too high, the people here can be pretty aggressive, and it doesn't reflect the kind of lifestyle I want to live. I am very much wanting to move to a new city. I guess I feel kind of stuck because I'm wondering how to make the transition to move and get a new job so that I can surv
  10. Dad's 86, living alone out of state, he's been married 3x but is now single and has no friends. He speaks to only me and my sister, he's estranged from my brother. As you might suspect, he's not such an easy guy to get along with, but he's gotten better. He's not quite so opinionated, stubborn, and inconsiderate but he's still got his moments. I've always had the door open for him to move in with me and whomever I might be cohabitating with, at one time it was my exwife who was also ok with it, now it's my gf of 4 years. To them, he's my dad and he's family and if he wants to live with us then
  11. I am 25 years old and my husband is 32. We have a 16 month old daughter. We recently have moved into my father's house where he lives with his new wife of 1 year. We are only here 4 months until we get our new home. We have only been in the house two weeks and things are extremely tense. My stepmother went from being very warm and kind before we moved in, to a very passive aggressive person who acts like she hates me. She moves my things they are not allowed anywhere downstairs or mixed in with their things. She even moved my daughters toys out of the living room. All of this without asking. S
  12. Hello all. After many posts/threads concerning my relationship, I have finally reached the end of it and am not looking back. We are both 23 and an incident that happened Saturday confirmed that this is the right thing to do. A month prior, we went out and he got really drunk to the point of acting obscene in public (cursing loudly and even leaving me by myself as he walked away 1 something in the morning). The same thing happened Saturday except this time he actually put his hands on my arm aggressive repeatedly telling me to shut up and even threatening me to drive drunk and he threatened to
  13. I can't figure out what is wrong with my husband. I don't know if he's passive aggressive or controlling or what, but he gets very angry at any of my opinions that disagree with him and he is always looking for reasons to call me a hypocrite and brings up anything I've said from the past (or he thinks I've said) to try to call me out. I'll say something, and some time will go by and suddenly he's giving me a lecture about what I said and how I'm a hypocrite because I said something different before and usually it is completely unrelated and he's trying THAT hard to call me out on something uni
  14. Hello... Background to my story is that I already had two dogs... A big girl sharpei cross 8 years old and a jack Russell cross boy 3 years old (two years ago) when I got my new dog at 10 weeks old a jack Russell cross tiny girl. The initial reason we got her was because the family that lived in our street weren't looking after her properly, letting their little kids carry/drag her around unleashed in all weathers.. Anyway at first my boy dog would growl at this new arrival but she was unfazed by this, whereas my big dog was indifferent to her.. Eventually all three could be together without t
  15. Hello, I'm currently in a strange predicament that I can't figure out how to resolve. I went through a drive-through I frequent often and ordered a drink. There was this lady I had never seen there before who took my order and made my drink. For some reason, ever since then I've been having unprovoked thoughts about her. It doesn't matter whether I'm at work, home, or hanging with friends/family. I know some people may think maybe I'm interested in her or have a "crush". I'm confident that this is not the case. I've never sought to be in a relationship and I've never wanted to marry or h
  16. I just need advice to know I'm not actually crazy or if I am. About a month ago I asked my boyfriend of 3 years to just listen to me and not give me advice because his advice was more like an "I told you so" or just things I already knew but I just needed to talk and someone to listen to me. Which is now biting me in the butt that I ever said "don't give me advice" because he's used it against me 3 times already when I just ask a direct question. And today it just felt so unwarranted what he said and I just don't know how to go about it. I try to make him understand what he says hurts me but
  17. Hello everyone ! I think it might be helpfull for all men on this forum, inculding myself, if we had a list of red flags to watch out for when looking for quality women on the dating scene.Here's an initial list I created to start things off and feel free to add more if you think that I missed some. 1. Physically aggressive towards you, your friends, her friends, or strangers (includes pinching, punching, slapping, pulling, pushing, etc.) 2. Verbally aggressive or makes fun of you, your friends, her friends, or a stranger 3. Drinks and drives 4. Jokes around about being an alcohol
  18. My boyfriend has gotten into this habit of posting passive aggressive things on facebook whenever he is upset about something. He does it about many things, and our relationship is one of them. He wont go on a detailed rant about what he's upset about, but he will post song lyrics, quotes, etc. It is starting to be a regular thing he does for the last multiple months. Today he woke up and wouldn't talk to me. I could tell something was off and I didn't know why. He took an hour long shower and was blasting these songs about women who cheat. Then he shared off them on facebook. He leaves for wo
  19. Hi, So there's an agency we work with & I'm constantly in touch with one main guy there. We talk on the phone and its strictly business and mostly just formal/or aggressive depending on the work. We have meetings with the team often. So this guy behaves a bit off when we meet in person, considering I'm the main person he is in touch with- its very odd. I know he's single and he's quite an attractive guy. He also very aggressive and confident work wise. 1. He doesn't greet me. I don't get this. With every other person in my team, he'll shake hands with, be really friend
  20. So, I've been dating this guy for a little over a year. We're both in our early 30's. I love him, love his family, we have a LOT of mutual friends... (although he is very close to several of these really narcissistic players that I'm not fans of, but I never express that). I'm his first, really long-term relationship. I'm not sure where his issues came from, but I know he had a tendency to date women, get tired of them and end it after several months. I feel like I've struggled for the past 3 or 4 months with him; I'm not feeling important in his life, we talk everyday, but I rarely s
  21. TL:DR - my brother is behaving passive aggressively after I withdrew when he told me he was cheating on his wife. I was going through a rough patch for a while and my stepbrother gave me some assistance and let me stay in his family home for a while. I was a mess, but I picked myself up, and moved out. He was practically caring but he's never really been emotionally available. Then he comes to stay with me one weekend and he's freaking out because he says his partner is going crazy on him and thinks he's having an affair. I talk with him all weekend and then they decide to get marriage
  22. I want to go to a show (band) tonight so I invited someone I had dated before with whom I didn't have a complete falling out: and It was just a simple friendly no-pressure invite. She responded to say she was working and "but I'm around. How are you?". I responded that I was "perfectly well. Thank you. Perhaps another time. Cheers." She said that I'm "perfectly passive aggressive. It was just a friendly hello. Perhaps another time. Cheers?" I read up on passive aggression and the only bit that seems to fit is that perhaps sometimes I don't say exactly what I feel or what I wa
  23. I can't take it anymore. The inconsistency, the double standards, the passive aggression, the insults and the judgment. In the last week I've been personally censured for defending an OP when someone started calling him names....apparently that's actually a more serious offense than the original name-calling. If you look around...look at the threads where a woman complains about her bf / husband.....They're filled with labels. He's a: Jerk Douche, Ahole, Deadbeat, Loser, . the list goes on. You just don't hear that when the men complain. It's all: We can't judge her
  24. Hi all, It has been a while since I posted on these fantastic forums that have helped me get over three breakups, but I have spent a couple of years being single since my last relationship ended, and I have been trying to work on issues that I undoubtedly have/have had. One thing that I am struggling with is how I react to a perceived wrongdoing by someone, however minor it might be. I'm sure everyone reacts differently to such scenarios, but what I do is go extremely quiet, ignore the perceived offender for hours, build and build this negative image of the person in my head, get in a
  25. Some say that your spouse can make heaven or hell in your life. I love my wife. I do. She is also a good person. Well mannered. Good temper. Patient. She is smart and capable. Despite all these positive traits, we seems to struggle everyday. From simple everyday conversations, it can go downhill. Or making big decisions like the place we stay in. It seems to be so difficult to agree with each other. The other night, I was asking her to see my message in the group. I held out my phone as she walked pass 'hey look at this it is funny' I said. 'I'm not free, I'm tired' she replied. So
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