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  1. Hi there Well this has been an ongoing issue hence the reason why this is starting to get to me. I know this has annoyed others who i have worked with as i work in a notorious y profession. Well I just hate it when i am saying something to someone and they stare at someone when I am saying it like I am stupid. Like today, i was telling someone my view on something and the b*tch i can't stand just stared at him like i am stupid or something. Thank god she is leaving in 4 weeks. I do have low self esteem and confidence and i am working on it but i hate this passive aggressive behaviour. L
  2. We are 31 and 30. After a very 1.5 difficult relationship: he is a loving person but also a very mean person. I don’t know where i had the strength to keep going. Basically I thought that if i keep going, if i am generous, loving and show him how nice life can be he will reciprocate and we will make it. I finally told him we should stop seeing each other because although we decided to live together from September while i was away he told me he doesn’t trust me and has doubts (at the beginning of our relationship he read my journal where i had wrote how much better another guy is than him - i
  3. I have a two year old domestic short hair cat. She is an indoor cat, but always anxious to get outside any time she sees the opportunity. She rushes past me when I open the door and if my arms are full I cannot immediately stop her. So, a few times a week she ends up being outside for a short while until I can lure her back in. I have several toys in the house to keep her occupied, but it does not seem to replace her interest in the great outdoors. I let her sit in window ledges to look outside and get a whiff of the good outdoor smells, but she sees squirrels and chipmunks and runs to
  4. Me and my girlfriend have had a really rough last couple of years. We’ve been at each other’s throats figuratively and literally. We both communicated very different and I had some pretty bad anxiety that caused me to be an avoidant when she had questions. We both see physical touch differently. For me it comfort, for her it’s aggression. I would try to be calming, but I’m a big strong guy and my touch came off more aggressive than it was in my head. This would cause a trigger and things normally escalate. I’ve shoved and pinned her either to try and calm her or out of self defense.
  5. Until last night I had been in a relationship for three years and it was one in which I was always walking on eggshells and disregard my own wants/needs in order to avoid him lashing out. His moodiness was legendary (his mother even asked how on earth I put up with them) and whenever the slightest thing didn't go his way he would show aggressive tendencies, such as kicking a chair or making out like he was going to punch me. He would call me deeply offensive names (f*cking c*nt etc) if I disagreed with him over the tiniest detail. He never actually assaulted me, but I was always fearful of
  6. TL:DR - my brother is behaving passive aggressively after I withdrew when he told me he was cheating on his wife. I was going through a rough patch for a while and my stepbrother gave me some assistance and let me stay in his family home for a while. I was a mess, but I picked myself up, and moved out. He was practically caring but he's never really been emotionally available. Then he comes to stay with me one weekend and he's freaking out because he says his partner is going crazy on him and thinks he's having an affair. I talk with him all weekend and then they decide to get marriage
  7. Hi all, It has been a while since I posted on these fantastic forums that have helped me get over three breakups, but I have spent a couple of years being single since my last relationship ended, and I have been trying to work on issues that I undoubtedly have/have had. One thing that I am struggling with is how I react to a perceived wrongdoing by someone, however minor it might be. I'm sure everyone reacts differently to such scenarios, but what I do is go extremely quiet, ignore the perceived offender for hours, build and build this negative image of the person in my head, get in a
  8. Some say that your spouse can make heaven or hell in your life. I love my wife. I do. She is also a good person. Well mannered. Good temper. Patient. She is smart and capable. Despite all these positive traits, we seems to struggle everyday. From simple everyday conversations, it can go downhill. Or making big decisions like the place we stay in. It seems to be so difficult to agree with each other. The other night, I was asking her to see my message in the group. I held out my phone as she walked pass 'hey look at this it is funny' I said. 'I'm not free, I'm tired' she replied. So
  9. Should I keep an aggressive dog or not? I am seeking advice from pet owners on this matter. I only want advice and recommendations and please, no personal attacks or I will close this thread. I own a 9 year old mix breed (part terrier and part ?). I got her from the pound 8 years ago. They didn't have anything on her history. We welcomed her into our home and over time, noticed that she became very protective of me. She has anxiety and has become very aggressive. She has bitten my elderly father twice (requiring stitches) and has made numerous attempts at lunging at him when she feels
  10. Long story short. Me and my ex ended Sunday after a long battle with each other (Together 5 months but were good friends before we were together) he had a troubled family life and underlying mental issues I think. And me? Well I've accepted I go for men who tend to have issues or are passive aggressive and struggle with their anger. I've decided I'm putting my standards up again until I find someone whose on my level. Does anyone feel like they will never find a good looking man with a compatible personality to you? I seem to attract all the wrong attention and I don't know why! I'm also strug
  11. Hello, I live with my partner in a house share with 5 bedrooms. We didn't know anybody before we moved in, it was fully occupied. One of the other tenants called 'Ben' is aggressive and has a bad habit of flying off the handle: shouting, pacing back and fourth through every room and corridor in the house repeatedly, screaming into what sounds like the telephone, non-stop swearing in a way to be intimidating and unapproachable, constantly muttering under his breath and just generally being a very angry person. When he is in an especially bad mood, he throws things and turns a somewhat quiet
  12. I have a cousin that I've been very close with my whole life. She does not live in the same country as me but every summer she used to go away with me and my family on a holiday and we'd usually visit each other once a year on top of that. She can be quite an argumentative person and has pushed several of her friends away with her behaviour. There have been several incidents in the past number of months that have caused me to become a little less involved with her. The most recent event was when she told me that her sister (who myself and my family wouldn't be very close to at all) was getting
  13. Ever since the beginning my boyfriend has been telling me that I am being mean. He uses phrases like "taking a jab" at him, "Yelling", "twisting the knife", things like that when I have no amount of anger in me. Ill be totally happy and content. When he does this it really hurts my feelings, like breaks my heart. He acts like such a victim and when I try to stick up for myself or explain to him that I wasn't being mean it turns into a fight. I noticed a pattern of when this happens he 1st gets really defensive then i'll get the "your tongue is like a knife". He also tells me sometimes that I a
  14. I just need advice to know I'm not actually crazy or if I am. About a month ago I asked my boyfriend of 3 years to just listen to me and not give me advice because his advice was more like an "I told you so" or just things I already knew but I just needed to talk and someone to listen to me. Which is now biting me in the butt that I ever said "don't give me advice" because he's used it against me 3 times already when I just ask a direct question. And today it just felt so unwarranted what he said and I just don't know how to go about it. I try to make him understand what he says hurts me but
  15. Good day all, apologies this is a very long vent, let me start by saying the my current boyfriend and I had a rocky relationship for the past year but I did introspection and decided not to hold the mistakes he made over his head any longer so I do not wish to go into that…just to give you background on how it was not an easy ride and that contributed to very destructive behaviour (resentment, distrust, lashing out from my side). Important to note that we have a baby together. Focusing on the issue at hand, he went out last week with friends and promised to let me know when he arrives back at
  16. Hi guys, My dog has an enormous lump on his hind leg - it's like the whole leg bulges at the top (it's about 2/3 the size of a golf-ball - just looks like his thigh is swollen). We only found it last week when he got his hair groomed (he is a silky terrier with very long hair that makes him look much bigger until shaved). We took him to the vet who went in for surgery but didn't remove it as it is too large and wrapped around the leg. He has sent tissue for a biopsy but no results as yet. They initially did a needle biopsy that came back clear, but now he has got deep tissue. He told my mum
  17. Quarantine has me unearthing a lot of pain that I psychologically suppressed. One of those pains is my sexual experience I with an ex partner. *If I consent to sex and my partner decides to do unconsented sexual aggression like squeezing and pinching, almost like BDSM pain torture stuff, is this sexual assault? (I was in what I thought was a loving relationship and him being aggressive or wanting to hurt me was shocking) is this sexual abuse? *If I consented but show a non verbal revoke of consent like pulling away to the point where he was chasing me across the bed to get acces
  18. I was at the grocery store today and a man came up to me while the checker was ringing me up. He sat a beer can on the pay counter and says "hey man, you got that for me, right?" It was a stunning thing that I had just witnessed: someone so shameless and disrespectful would not only think to do this, but actually attempt it. I really thought he was playing a joke, which I truly thought was a cruel one for my tastes. I'm the type to really go out of my way to mind my own business, but there are different people in this world. So as I'm frozen, he doesn't relent and the checker doesn't know wh
  19. I haven't written on a forum before so please forgive me if anything I say or mention isn't as relevant as usual forums are, and consider myself as a very private person but seeking the advice of complete strangers feels as though it may be my last resort as I feel very lost right now and don't feel comfortable speaking to my close friends or family because I believe they would only tell me to leave the relationship and would not forgive me if i chose to stay. I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and a half, we have spent no longer than a night apart the entir
  20. So there's this guy i interact with at work... He is very business like at work and I'm kind of the same. Its all mono-tone and serious and aggressive. To the point you get a headache. So we had quite a few occasions where we went out together with the team and had lunch or drinks. And at lunch, he's sooo nice. Like gentle and sweet. Asks a lot of questions, gets really close, talks softly. At work hes almost like a difficult person or a ****
  21. I currently feel as if I am struggling inside myself and I'm not sure which side I should join. On one side I feel a deep anger at the world. I see all the racism, ignorance, homophobia, religious intolerance, bigotry, wars, and hate as something that should be crushed. People are so worthless and inhuman I shouldn't bother caring about others or caring about what's going on in the world except that which effects me. I should be selfish and only care about what benefits myself. I should be ruthless and merciless in life and my career. I should believe that there is no Good or Bad or Good an
  22. I met a male friend over a new project that I am doing. He is very caring, smart and nice, and basically has many qualities that I look for in a partner. But the problem is I am not attracted to him at all so I think for now it is better to just be friends. However, I am quite sure that he likes me and is being a bit aggressive with his approach. Am I being too sensitive? Or is he really being too aggressive? For example, he taught me to drive a few times. As I steer the wheels, he would put his hand on my hand to control the wheels. His hand is just kept on mine for a very long time. An
  23. Hi, Long story short. After speaking out on here and then to a few other people, i realise i am in an abusive relationship. To be completely honest, deep down i didn't need anyone to tell me, i already knew, i just thought i could handle everything that was thrown at me. I have put my current partner on such a high pedestal that i was blind sighted to all of his flaws, because he started off so great and made me feel so special at the beginning and when hes 'good' he still does that now. But hes controlling, Manipulative, Aggressive (has been verbally and physically) and i dont know what im
  24. I have been with my husband for 12 years, but married for 2. It’s come to the point where all of the things I liked about him have become more complicated, turning into the things I hate about him. For example: He is so nice and caring. He is so nice and caring that he can’t disappoint anybody under any circumstance ever. His undying need to please everyone gets in the way of our life daily. He has no backbone and can’t defend any distinct beliefs or values because he has none. He has 0 opinion about anything because puts everyone else’s opinion on a pedestal. This is why EVERYONE likes
  25. I know what the main responses will be here, "Block her", "Stop stalking", etc, etc. but recently my ex has been posting some PA things of social meda, e.g. "Don't settle for ty men" and the like. i just wonder what peoples' take on this is? It happened a lot after we split, but then went quiet. Since I started NC, only 3 days ago with LC before that, that one has now appeared! Speculating here but, could it be just the case that she's getting annoyed that i've not been in touch to stroke her ego, maybe that's the first affect on her of NC? I don't know, I know it's stupid of me to even think
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