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itsallgrand

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Everything posted by itsallgrand

  1. itsallgrand
    Okay. That's my gut feeling too. It would only cause pain on both ends otherwise. Thank you.
  2. itsallgrand
    Great post, great links, thank you! If you have more goodies like that I would love to see them. By the way, congratulations.
  3. itsallgrand
    I don't know. I wish I did.
  4. itsallgrand
    Well, because it may help you, I will say I have been where you are. I understand how devastating it is. What helped me was to hone in practical affairs. I kept constantly busy so that I wouldn't think much at all; I was too tired. Either doing something or sleeping. I'm not sure what is on your plate right now, but there must be something that could use your attention. I spent a lot of time on my body. I got massages. Took a lot of baths. Bought the foods that I loved. I didn't have much of an appetite at the time, so I wasn't eating properly. I made goals. They were quite small and achievable: to go to work on time. To make sure I ate three meals with at least a glass of milk. That sort of thing. And isolation is the worse possible thing right now. Be around other people when you can. i hope that helps in some way.
  5. itsallgrand
    lol. He might be concentrating. Hard to know without knowing him! Some people are quiet lovers. I'm very vocal and love talking, screaming, making all kinds of sounds. But some people just aren't like that. Are you ok with it if it turns out he's just a quiet love-maker?
  6. itsallgrand
    I know you feel horrible right now. So your mind is probably racing all over the place. That's ok; just let it do its thing, but try to not worry about it to much. You have suffered two big losses right in a row. That is hard for anybody. You may not believe this now: but with each passing day it will ease up just a wee bit more, until you finding yourself thinking about him less, and enjoying things with a bigger smile, and one day you'll be surprised to see how good you feel. Be really nice to yourself and let others be nice to you too. Is there anything special that makes you feel good? You deserve it. Little things like baths, walks, spending time with friends....these things really do help. lots of love
  7. itsallgrand
    I think that's wonderful. Really. You are truly enjoying her and the experience of getting to know her on that level. Don't worry about later. Scotcha said it.
  8. itsallgrand
    I'm so sorry. That guy sounds like such a jerk!! A complete dink! I hope you're well and your recovery is coming along easily. Do you have someone to help take care of you? It's such a difficult time. You made the choice that was right for you: surround yourself with ones that understand that. Please take care.
  9. itsallgrand
    Thanks annie. Yes, the fuzziness of the 'break' i asked for is what keeps me in doubt of whether i am doing the right thing. In my mind, it simply meant time alone as individuals, but with the same level of commitment. I asked for one month. And he was gonna be away. So I guess on my side - I was somewhat insensitive, which I have now come to realize, and that he may not have gotten the same impression that I had. That is the thing that hounds me. I think he does love me; but he was mad or confused and so turned away. I am an hardcore no-cheating, one man kind of woman. He knew that. So he must have known I would leave - which was a move on his part of leaving me first. Don't want to analyze this to death. lol. I think in my heart I love him dearly. I don't think I can or want to commit to him again though. He has poor ways of dealing with troubles; turning outside the relationship. I may be messed up in my ways sometimes - but I do not betray or cheat. lol. thanks annie
  10. itsallgrand
    I'll try to keep this crisp and short. Was seeing a man for many years. Several weeks ago I broke it off. NC. Fine and dandy. Our relationship was strained and unclear prior to the breakup. He left for work for a month; and I had asked for a break from the phone calls and long distance doo-ha. I told him I loved him. Wanted to continue our relationship per our monog-arrangement. The reason I asked for it was to get my head together. He saw another woman during that month, felt like cheating to me, I got upset and broke off. We spoke once after I cut contact. My initiative, I called. It was a call that allowed me to hear his side, and I told mine. He asked for friendship. I declined at the time, the possibility of later still open. Overall we hung up on good terms i thought. I was able to begin to not think of him so much. I have got where I can imagine things without him; it still aches and i miss him, but I'll get through it type of deal. Here is where I'd like some help in seeing the larger picture: He emailed me tonight. He says he realizes now how I do love him and why it upset me (the other woman). he goes on 'maybe we should date??!!' 'sit down n talk??' here's the funniest one 'if you really do love me how about we give it a serious try??' and 'ahhh every since we talked all i do is think of you' And I could think reading it was 'Ohhh poor baby. wah wah. Jerk butt' But deeper than the sarcasm and pissiness, I liked to see some acknowledgement of my side and feelings. I just don't like how he still doesn't get the degree he hurt me, and that he made it sound like Isomehow owe him . I haven't replied. Haven't really decided what i will do. Truth is, I love him like crazy...like crazy! But I don't know anymore if I want to be with him. I don't know that even if I do want to be with him, it would be the best thing in the larger scope. What do you think? I'm sure y'all have seen a million stories like this; so honest insight would be much appreciated.
  11. itsallgrand
    Ok. I read your post twice. Left, and came back. It's a really tough situation. Depression can really hit a person where it counts. Sex drive can just fly right out the window. And the worst thing about it: when you're depressed, you don't feel like you have the energy to do the usual things, you don't feel like doing a whole lot actually. She sounds really depressed. So depressed that she doesn't want to go to the doctor: maybe she has been through a lot of docs/therapists/pills and feeling like it just doesn't help. I'm not sure. One thing is for sure though: she needs to know exactly, in very specific terms, just how big a deal this is to you. It can be very difficult talking to someone with depression. It's hard knowing the balance of being compassionate to their situation and getting our needs accross. You love her and it must be hard on you to be in this bind. I need to think more about this....
  12. itsallgrand
    Dry humping is rubbing up against each others genitals and/or bodies with some sort of clothing in between. The chances of you getting pregnant are very slight, but it is possible. Your period is coming in 3 days? I would wait and see if it comes like usual. It probably will! Try not to worry too much about it til then. If it is late, go pick up a pregnancy test at the pharm. You'll know right away. It's gonna be okay. Just relax.
  13. itsallgrand
    Destiny?.......I don't understand. You feel like outside forces are in control more than you yourself?
  14. itsallgrand
    You should come work with me for a while. lol. Your attitude would change realllll fast or else you'd end up in the pysch ward. Yeah, life can be disillusioning sometimes. It sounds like that is what is happening here. Your expectations and hopes meet the 'real' world. It can blow a lot harder than we ever imagined, and be so much more beautiful too. .....how old are you, anyways?...NM: I checked: 21. Gotcha. blaming politicians...tsk tsk
  15. itsallgrand
    You've only known her a few months and under extreme circumstances. Realize leaving your wife and daughter had nothing to do with her with You. Escorts are much cheaper and easier on the heart. Tread lightly.
  16. itsallgrand
    Girls can be confusing-I used to be one! I wish I was more help, but that's pretty standard. Remember: she's pretty new to the whole thing too, so she might act a bit 'strange' sometimes. Just roll with it and have fun. I'm really pulling for you.
  17. itsallgrand
    Good luck! I agree...strike while the iron is hot.
  18. itsallgrand
    If you really want to turn things around and get right by yourself: You need to tell your wife what is going on with you. She really deserves to hear the whole story; so that she may decide if she wants to be with you. It's not fair of you to withhold such important information with a woman who you vowed to share your life with, through thick and thin. She has an absolute right to know. By doing this, you would cleanse your soul. I don't say this to be preachy; but how do you expect to ever gain peace within yourself without emotional honesty? It's simply impossible. Remember: it isn't just your show. The choices you have made (beginning with withholding your serious doubts and feelings from your wife) will have an impact on many people. Your wife and child being the most hard hit. good luck.
  19. itsallgrand
    I mean this as no disrespect, just honesty: You are thinking about this entirely tooo much. You are a young man. You have your own life to live. Fill your mind with your own concerns; you will have no time to worry so much about your friend. cheers
  20. itsallgrand
    DN: that's a good point, indeed. That is what is so tricky about being in any care position; such as a nanny. Your reputation, references, and past experience are your most important assets in finding employment. Whatever you do: stay or leave, you want to be able to walk away in the end on good terms. If further resentment or bad feelings are going to grow; this is when i would take a gracious leave. Give them plenty of time to make arrangements on their end, or to work out the changes necessary in order for you to stay. good luck.
  21. itsallgrand
    There's one other possibility....relatives! I left home early bc my mum was an alcoholic. I stayed at friends homes for weeks at a time: but that only went so far. I had an aunt who took me in for a time. Something to think about. If the situation is terribly bad, it's worth the upheaval of moving somewhere peaceful for the remaining year you have. what you choose, my heart goes out to you. That is rough.
  22. itsallgrand
    I like to use dreams as opportunities to gain a new perspective on my waking life. What's going on in your life right now? You dreaming about the ex could mean all sorts of things: and most likely it has little/nothing to do with her per se.
  23. itsallgrand
    Girl talking here... It means they are Horny! Nothing more. If it turns YOU off that they are so eager...well, that i can understand. I like a man with some restraint too.
  24. itsallgrand
    I personally dislike bars/lounges/nightclubs for finding a compatible soul. I go mainly to have fun. What city are you going to? Go with the 'vibe' and what people go to those places for. There's really no big rules at b/l/n. The idea is to have fun and enjoy oneself, be uninhibited, and to try new approaches to socializing: sounds perfect for you! Most folks there don't have much of a clue...so follow your gut and take some chances. Don't take home drunk women; don't pay for all the drinks; don't get so sloshed you end up waking upside something scary; and no drinking&driving. ...lol....have fun!
  25. itsallgrand
    I love pets and animals. If he really doesn't like them - to the point of not wanting to be around them in my home - it's a dealbreaker! Hehe...I got a good chuckle about men/cats being a weird combo. I think that's a running joke to a lot of people... Personally, I think man+pet=yeah! The man can keep something alive!
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