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itsallgrand

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Everything posted by itsallgrand

  1. itsallgrand
    Excuse me if I'm being too blunt, but I find that there is this compulsion in Western culture to turn everything into a disease. There are gross amounts of misdiagnosis, and it causes a lot of pain. This girl is worried bc her boyfriend drives like a maniac. I would be worried too. Also, there seems to be other things going on. I just think this is more a case of circumstances than acute illness. If she could get out of the unhealthy relationship, I bet the worry would leave. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. Just my thought....
  2. itsallgrand
    Yeah. Honestly, I think you'd be cutting yourself short by doing this. You deserve more than this. Like I said in your earlier thread, you DO have the option of casual sex with someone else. Perhaps that is 'distasteful' to you or you don't want that, but it sure would cut out all these complications. You're making it clear 'ahem, I'm a healthy woman and I'm horny" lol. Well, you can find some booty without these emotional attachments or deal with the horniness yourself (and if this isn't an option; you really got to wonder IF it truly is the sex you are after or a warm man to give you attention and care). think about it. You can still find the man you've always wanted.
  3. itsallgrand
    Whoa, whoa, it's not necessarily OCD and none of us can diagnose over the comp. I'm interested to hear the answer to melrich's q. Perhaps she has legit reasons to be afraid. Perhaps this is an unhealthy relationship.
  4. itsallgrand
    pfffftt!! 'pretty girls' are no diff. from the rest of us (barring a few very unlucky people). The problem usually lies in the woman thinking 'i am so pretty' or 'i am not pretty enough'. or the guy thinking 'she's too hot for me' or 'she's not that hot, so i can get er'. lol
  5. itsallgrand
    Ugh. Well, you can try looking at the situation objectively for a minute. If he truly is flirting with you, that is wildly inappropriate. Gross even (to me). I don't know if he is: maybe your imagination is running away with you? It's very,very common to have crushes on teachers. He should not be feeding it though: he should be making clear that he is not interested AT ALL. In grade 10, my class had this english teacher. He was 25, and exactly like you described your teacher. He DID flirt with us girls. He fed his big fat ego off it. About half the girls in my class were ga-ga for him. I found him repulsive, even though he was a good looking guy and smart,too. That's just me though: my crush was my art teacher. He was much older and not flirty at all. But, he was brilliant and really pushed me to my potential. I tried to flirt with him, and was met with very harsh lines It was much more a mentor-student type crush. He used my crush to push my talent; and it worked. lol. I guess I don't know what you can do. Find a new crush?? Sign up for a new class if it is sooo bad!
  6. itsallgrand
    Hey, it might make you feel better to know that you did in fact last longer than a minute....she was rubbing you for a whole ride from park to house! lol Trust me, holding out is a skill like anything else. You have no reason to feel inadequate. And I'm happy you are able to 'practice' with someone who obviously understands this. have fun
  7. itsallgrand
    Hey. Well, I'm not too sure why you're having these thoughts? With my ex, there was a period of time when I had thoughts like this. He left for work for periods of time (a week or a month at a time). He is a bit of a wild man (found that attractive and annoying) so I would worry if he didn't call when he said he would. And I'm talking, if he was 5 mins late to call, I would be feeling sick! lol. I just loved him very much and worried a lot. For me too, it had to do with events in my life prior that him not calling on time triggered. In my past, someone was late without a call, and never came back home but was hurt. So...late calls=someone hurt in my heart. Is there anything in particular that gets you so worried? Maybe something that he does? Its' a fear you do need to control, which is a lot easier if you know what is making you so afraid p.s. enjoy being in love! how wonderful
  8. itsallgrand
    I agree. Bring it up casually, and let him know you would like to spend more time with him. It's all about what you can be happy with.
  9. itsallgrand
    WooHOO!! I am so so happy for you! You're doing great. I think it is a wonderful idea to go on a nice relaxing date with someone. Just go and have some fun, enjoy a nice night of company and getting to know someone (and doesn't hurt to get some attention and to know you're still a hot desirable guy). I wouldn't worry about those guilt feelings. They're normal, but will pass. Remember: you're just going to have a good time with someone new. You are no longer with the ex. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! lots of luck. You are moving on slowly but steadily. Lots of good things ahead of you yet.
  10. itsallgrand
    That is so lame. lol. You will have trouble with relationships if you can not learn to share your feelings with the one you are with. Being a man or a woman has nothing to do with it. I've dated men who 'pried into my head' asking "what are you feeeeling, hunny?" Time to figure out: #!. If indeed you are poor at sharing intimate feelings #2. If you are choosing insecure, obnoxious women. tc
  11. itsallgrand
    That's horrible. Poor woman sounds devastated; hard to blame her for feeling that way. Still, she needs some sort of reality check. She's wasting her life crying. Have you tried setting her up? I know it's not a full solution (therapy or a new job or moving or any change would be good for this girl) but being desired and pursued by another attractive person can really be a good 'snap' on the butt. Thinking to how devasted i was when i lost my live-in bf of many years. I just wanted to give up and die. My friends forced me pretty much, into situations where men (one guy in particular had been eyeing me for a good while) were giving me full attention and wanted me. None of it went very far, but I got a huge change of perspective, and a big old confidence boost. I realized "There are other people in this world who want me exactly as I am. I am desirable and my life is not over!" lol. worth a try
  12. itsallgrand
    Whoa. You really believed men are pre-humans with limited ability to feel? Mens be people too. In fact, I've seen more emotion from the men in my life than a lot of the women. 'Big girls don't cry'. Men do feel. It's a new day for you if you get that now. Hoorah! enjoy! take care of them.
  13. itsallgrand
    My God Girl, You are 16 and you're worried about being able to orgasm?!?! Who cares? Honestly! You have years and years to come Right now: Have fun. This isn't a performance. You don't have to orgasm. It doesn't matter! Really. Your time will happen soon enough. Find something else to think about. You're way too young to be stressing about this.
  14. itsallgrand
    I find this rather insightful. And it goes both ways. If you do the above (consistent boundary setting and communicating), it doesn't get boring: there's always something going on.
  15. itsallgrand
    I'm not sure what your question is? (maybe I'm dense). Just looking to vent?
  16. itsallgrand
    No Way, No How, Please don't do it!! You don't need the ex to find you a mate. I find it rude and condenscending of her to even bring this up with you. grrrr. No, it would be very bad.
  17. itsallgrand
    Dako's got good advice. Just don't act on it. Observe your own reaction. Don't act it out or tell; just watch. All feeling is fleeting.
  18. itsallgrand
    I take it as a compliment. It makes me smile, and depending on the situation... It's all grand. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.
  19. itsallgrand
    Is this chick your best friend from way back? I doubt you are an alcoholic from what you write. Jeez, when I was 20 I partied too. Big deal. So long as you are taking care of the important thing: job, school, family, bills, health. Do you spend less time with her now? She's not 21 yet. She may be jealous she's being left out of a part of your life. Good friends/roomies do that sometimes. At this age one tends to branch out - seeing less of the same old friends, meeting new people, having new experiences. I suggest you get some input from your family and other friends. If you hear a lot of 'oh yeah, you have been drinking an awful lot lately'...then it's time to cut back and/or see someone about it.
  20. itsallgrand
    Well, it really depends on what you can live with yourself. It would be wrong, In MY OPINION, to leave him bc you can't stand the burden of knowing you cheated. That would be very mean. That's just how I feel. If you were to leave him; you should at least give him the honesty and fess up beforehand. Give him the chance to express himself and tell you how he feels. If you decide to keep this to yourself, you know it will be a burden. Can you live with it? There will always be an element of dishonesty in the relationship. There will be a 'secret' that prevents the two of you from becoming as close as you could. The intimacy would suffer in a way. On the other hand, if you truly know you will never do it again (perhaps you care for him more now), it may be in your interest to not say anything...but, eeks, . You know what? I think you should just fess up. Choose the right situation to do it. That's all.
  21. itsallgrand
    Have you EVER dated someone your age? Of course, you date who you want, all things being legal. But maybe dating a few people your own age would be enlightening? Hey, even if it's just so that you end up back in an age-gapper, you could learn a few things about yourself and your patterns. coolies
  22. itsallgrand
    Y'know, it could be something as simple as your mum is stressing out right now. It's so easy to turn around and vent at our family - you're kind of like an easy target (you were around, basically). Most important is you don't take it to heart too much. I'm sure it will blow over. Just focus on you. You need to take things easy and not be too upset; for your health and the baby. You have a lot on your plate, girl, and I admire how well you are doing with all this. One day of rest was probably much needed. Sorry things are so stressful. Take it easy on yourself and try not to think about it too much, ok?
  23. itsallgrand
    Why would it seem desperate or pushy?! Geez, we wimmins are people too. I see nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out. If he doesn't like it: eh, he either wasn't interested to begin with, or he may be looking for a docile pliable woman who will take what comes to her. Asking men out puts the power back in our hands. haha! Seriously though, time to get rid of these ridiculous rules.
  24. itsallgrand
    The problem with this situation is that they are friends with each other. That's a bad choice of dates! lol. If you're interested in casually dating more than one girl, pick ones that don't know each other. And be upfront that you are a single guy still dating others. have fun!
  25. itsallgrand
    Well, no need to freak out just yet. He hasn't proposed or actually asked you to move in with him! He was probably testing the waters to see what you think and feel about the idea. Now's a great time for you to figure that out. Just bc you love someone doesn't mean you need to live together or get married. My favorite, most healthy relationship was one where we had our own homes. It was great. No rush to decide anything. Do what you want to do. Never feel like you must 'take the next step' for any reason other than you want to. How are you feeling about the idea now?
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