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Celadon

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  1. Bravo, mfan. I particularly liked the line about the guy who's been emailing for ten years. My friend is in that situation (but not yet 10 years, lol).
  2. Glasses are dirty. I can't see a single thing. Too lazy to wipe.
  3. "I love you" - no, wait "I hate you but can't let go." That's co-dependence.
  4. Don't focus so much on what the other person is doing. I know it's hard when there's only three of you in the department. But focus on your OWN goals. Are you getting what you need? If not, maybe it IS time to move to another company. Yes, there is more to career advancement than doing a good job. But you don't have to be cozy with the boss. Side note: I would worry about harassment if the boss is being so buddy-buddy (whispering in her ear?) with your co-worker.
  5. I just find it incredibly interesting that a thread started six YEARS ago has been resuscitated. Shows that we have similar issues over time, I guess.
  6. I'd say your bf and his ex aren't behaving respectfully to you, so no wonder you feel jealous! I don't think that's wrong. I'd say that no matter how strong you feel you are, it's still your bf's responsibility to help you feel secure in his love. It's hard, but tell him how you feel.
  7. Niiiice. Thanks for sharing that. My favorite lines are: "We would surprise each other with alphabets made of twigs. It was a wonderful time to be alive, or even dead."
  8. You are not wrong for wanting to set the record straight. It may be an occupational hazard, but it is a noble one. You must continue to speak out for the poor and oppressed. But I think the real challenge is in figuring out how to do that in a socially acceptable manner. Sometimes, adopting a more lighthearted attitude is better than adopting a ferocious one. Sometimes I laugh to myself because something sounds so ridiculous, then when I go in to correct someone, it almost comes off like I'm amused. Sure, I may be deriding them a bit, but it's better than me coming off all hotheaded. Yeah, I agree with Abby. people feel like you're arguing with them when you don't acknowledge what they've said. it's basic (and hard to remember, that's one of my challenges ). Other people will get MORE argumentative when you put them down. Believe me, people know your friend is racist, or whatever, by what he says. So what you really want to do is provide correct information, not put him down. Besides, if *he's* argumentative and tries to win the argument, he's a loser. I work with a guy like that, and it's all pride and arrogance. You deserve to make your point, put the correct info out there. I might even suggest not solely addressing the guy with the wrong info, but addressing the group. You won't change his mind, but you could change the minds of anyone who is listening, know what I mean? The real battle is to win over everyone else, not the people who are too racist, sexist or otherwise prejudiced to recognize reality.
  9. Oh, I'm really good at taking things personally. It's second nature to me, really. But I've learned that it's not helpful at all to be this way, so I'm trying to go in the complete opposite direction. I think that NOT taking things personally is a good tool for self-protection. It helps me respond in a more rational, reasonable, compassionate manner. If I take things personally, I'm constantly feeling attacked or victimized. So to counteract that, I consciously try to put the responsibility on the other person, if that makes any sense. For example, I've got a difficult employee. She's just not interested in working cooperatively with me. I took it personally for awhile, but that got really old really fast. Created too much anxiety for me. So now when she glares at me or doesn't get done what she should, I tell myself, "She's the one with the problem. That's too bad for her." The trick to NOT taking things personally is to insulate (or isolate?) yourself from the other person's actions. And, don't believe for a minute that -- even if you were wrong -- that it makes you a bad person. That, I think, is really a key point. Some people are more prone to taking things personally because they are just more emotionally sensitive. That doesn't necessarily change throughout life, but I think we can learn coping skills that will help us to deal with difficult situations more effectively. BTW, I totally relate to renaissancewoman. My first thought when someone cancels on me is that it's a reflection of how they regard me.
  10. Always be willing to try something new. It will keep life fresh and you creative. P.S. Damn there is some really awesome wisdom here! Wow. I'm blown away, seriously!
  11. Glad to help, TheRock. Also remember that people go through phases in life. Some of my college friends got opinionated and sarcastic as they got older, but now they've mellowed again and we're having a good time. I'm glad we've kept in touch because the good times are here again.
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