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AwdreeHpburn

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Everything posted by AwdreeHpburn

  1. AwdreeHpburn
    Wow RayKay - well said. I concur.
  2. AwdreeHpburn
    Wow. Exciting, maybe. 1st, What do you know about him personally? I understand its limited, but do you even know if he's single or hedro? (sp?) There are "appropriate" ways to flirt in the business world. I'm not suggesting overt eyelash batting or obnoxious laughter at his one-liners but maybe more than usual eye contact, bigger smiles, friendlier words, like, hey, good to see you. Or, oh, glad you're here today. And you can always make things more personal very easily thru small talk. Its OK to do that. If you get the oppotunity, ask him for advice on a movie or a book or a restaurant that just opened. Casually ask him about what he's doing for the upcoming holiday if there is one. Small talk is the fastest and easiest way to get info from someone without them really realizing they're even giving it. You - "So, what did you do for Thanksgiving?" Him - "Oh, it was great. My girlfriend's family flew us out to Vegas. They're loaded so it was nice that they paid because my mom just kicked me out. Now I have to pay half of my gf's rent. How 'bout you? See, in like 2 sentences you found out that he has a gf who he'll never leave cuz her family's wealthy, and until recently lived with his mom cuz he's cheap. huh? huh?
  3. AwdreeHpburn
    oh, I see. You wanted to know if the spermicide on the condom could kill the sperm already there from the first time?? Absolutely never. Esp that much later.
  4. AwdreeHpburn
    OK - so let me see if I got this.... You got drunk and watched some guy do dirty stuff over a webcam and feel like you cheated? Right? And the guy is a friend, and a gay friend who your bf is jealous of?? How will your bf find out? Why would that guy tell him? What is his reaction gonna be? I say, no harm no foul. You never cheated. You watched porn on an interactive feed. Has he ever had a lap dance or been to a strip club? I don't suggest lying, but not confessing a drunken mistake, little more than a peep show, seems gratutitous. Good luck!
  5. AwdreeHpburn
    unprotected condom? I thought you said you had unprotected sex and then an hour later used a condom. I don't get it. If you had unprotected sex, you increase your chances of becoming pregnant considerably. I think using a condom reduces that risk a whole bunch tho. I don't even know what an unprotected condom is. Do you mean one had a sperm killer and one didn't?? Am I really that old?
  6. AwdreeHpburn
    I agree with DN. What purpose would telling him serve. I think the reason you're contemplating it is because while part of you wants to share that stuff with him, part of you feels something not quite right about it. Maybe you could wait until he's back, you're together and he feels more safe and secure with the solidness of the relationship. I'm sure, as the other guys here have said, there's a part of him that would feel pride. And, its just feels good to be able to share your day and experiences with the one you love. In my opinion, telling him while he's so far away, could cause him undue stress and worry about what's going on while he's not there.
  7. AwdreeHpburn
    yeh - seems like its a personality thing maybe. My husband and I get in our moods. Sometimes I'm super chatty and he just looks at me like, "who talks that much?" Other times he's the chatter box and bores me to tears and still other times, we just seem to either sit quietly next to each other or just sit and talk. It totally depends on the day, our moods... If the silence feels uncomfortable to you tho - you definitely should bring it up.
  8. AwdreeHpburn
    Lost - I disagree with almost everything in the mirror said...of course its entirely possible for a guy to put in a lot of time, a lot more than an hr and 1/2, and a lot of money just for sex. AND, it's entirely possible he is rebounding, 6 mos after an engagement break off is not that long. But I do agree with in the mirror that you should take this one slowly, cautiously and patiently.
  9. AwdreeHpburn
    The bigger question - are YOU into him? If you like him and think he likes you, why not ask him? I mean, like, ask him out. If he says yes, then you'll know.
  10. AwdreeHpburn
    Stressed - I'm sorry you're in the predicament you're in. This is tough because you obviously care for him and want to help him thru what he's going thru but on the flip side are completely unhappy. If you were my sister or close friend, I would advise you to get out of this reltaionship slowly. Cutting him and yourself out of each others lives at this point will be really difficult. You're used to being his caregiver. But you need to be happy and have the opportunity to go on with your life and get out of it what you want and deserve. The timing may be bad and it is very unfortunate that he is suffering from mental illness with not a lot of family support, but that's not really your problem. I think if you make yourself available less and less, gradually, this will ease some of the break up tension for both of you. You should be fair to him however and tell him your intentions...that you feel it is time to move on but that you will still be there for him occasionally.
  11. AwdreeHpburn
    Getting together with an ex can go just how you want it to. Depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking for a site for sore eyes look at him and his life, meet him somewhere intimate and have a heart to heart. If you're going for an obligatory meet-up because he asked for it and you feel he needs it, then play it safe. Meet some where public, in the middle of the day, and keep it friendly but short. If you're looking for a sexual re-encounter for familiaritie's sake, I say...avoid it. That'll do more emotional harm than good. If you're trying to keep doors open, I personally think that's not fair and a bit like striging him along. Do you know when you'll be moving back or living in the same city? Is that coming up and that's why you want to keep the door open? I think you should really assess what you're/he's after and go from there.
  12. AwdreeHpburn
    sounds a bit protected and not very realistic.
  13. AwdreeHpburn
    K8tie, I think its fine to have crushes on people, that's no big deal. And sometimes its fun to get caught up in the fantasy or infatuation of a crush. But like poopy guy so succinctly put it, I agree you should stay away. Keep the fantasy fun and then find some one who's available.
  14. AwdreeHpburn
    hoping, sometimes dating someone else so soon after a break up can be harmful but I think it can also be a good thing. If you set proper expectations for this girl, let her know exactly where you are in the scheme of things, it can be ok. Be realistic, have no illusions about what the relationship is, and be honest with the girl, and then go for it. It may be very good for your healing, give you practice dating again and increase your self-esteem. Just make sure you are honest with this girl (and yourself) about coming off of a relationship and about what exactly you are looking for with her. Good luck!
  15. AwdreeHpburn
    Short answer, no. Not all married couples are unhappy. Long answer, not to get all scientific (cuz I can't really) but there really is something about the endorphins released during the "honeymoon" stage of all relationships that with time fades. I suppose that has something to do with couples getting increasingly unhappy and adds to the rate of divorce but... ...That happens to all couples, not just married ones. Marriage is hard and takes work to maintain, just like any other relationship. I have a sneaking suspiscion (sp?) that most people don't realize during the euphoric part of the realtionship that someday their strong passion will lessen. You have to do things to bring it back or keep it up, and that's pretty hard sometimes.
  16. AwdreeHpburn
    jem - I'm sorry for your loss. I completely understand your concern for your brother and mom. I think its cool that you're seeking adivce for how to help someone other than yourself. My advice to you however, is that you let your brother and mom figure it out. They are filling a need for each other and the arrangement is working for them. When your brother gets to a point where he just can't do it anymore, meets someone who likes him despite his weight gain and greying hair, or your mother moves on, things will change for him. You should take care of YOU. There are prolly things about yourself you're neglecting worrying about your brother. Take care of you too. Time will help this....
  17. AwdreeHpburn
    If you're not close with them, and your parents are divorced, let it be. Whatever B's motives for persuing a friendship with your father are, you and your mom should just take the "who cares" attitude. Could be all they want is a rise out of your mom and if that's what they're getting, they may just keep it up. OR - maybe they, your dad and B, just get along. So what? Not everyone HAS to get along, even if they are family. Your mom doesn't get along with B and obviously didn't get along with her ex-husband (your dad) so I hope for your mom that she could leave B and her ex to each other. Maybe they're all better off that way.
  18. AwdreeHpburn
    I like DN's advice. But I think southerngirl is on to something too...
  19. AwdreeHpburn
    tell him its not comfortable for you, that its too fast. i agree with scout, you probably won't like the response he gives you. And, I think you should prepare yourself for more contact from him even after you tell him to stop.
  20. AwdreeHpburn
    Ya know bunny, I don't have a lot of experience with cyber relationships, but I have a feeling they're not dissimiliar to other kinds. If this guys is being a creep, tell him you don't like it and then don't take it. You don't have to LET him be mean to you. You can let him know you have more respect for yourself and if he's not willing to repect you than you don't need it. Can you find a different group to game with? I know a lot of gamers and they take that stuff very seriously. If they don't think you are good enuff player, that can have absolutely no bearing on how they feel about you as a person, only how they feel about your skills as a player. But that's no excuse for rudeness. Tell him how you feel, give him the opportunity to correct his behaviour and if he doesn't, then you correct yours (by not letting him treat you that way).
  21. AwdreeHpburn
    why don't you two trust each other? why is there a need for such outrageous requests of proof? Sounds to me like neither one of you are confident in yourselves or this relationship. You either love each other or you don't. If you each don't believe the other person loves, not to be harsh, but maybe its time to cut the losses. You need stability for some arbritrary amount of time, he wants you to be spontaneous and move out there on the fly. Maybe you're too different. You can love each other and let each other find happiness.... elsewhere.
  22. AwdreeHpburn
    lol NJRon - that's awesome Just wanted to sound off. I think it depends on who the guy is. If he likes flowers, of course its Ok. I agree that you should find out what he likes. But I totally disagree with Rae. That sounds sexist.
  23. AwdreeHpburn
    Memi - he's joking because HE is inscure about YOUR level or seriousness. He doesn't want to appear over eager. If you never take him up on anything, he can just fall back on, "well, we were mostly kidding anyway." I say Go For It chica! Next time he half jokes about you coming over, joke back with, "gimme directions to your house." Or, "What time should I be there?"
  24. AwdreeHpburn
    barnettac - I'm sorry you're going thru this. Its really sad. I wish it could've worked out for you too. Things are going to get ugly. I stronlgy reccommend that you do not get into any discussions with her. Always insist she go thru your lawyer. Even re: stuff about the kids. Divorce is hard on everybody to be sure, but kids a lot less experienced in the ways of the grown up world. Maybe just keep them in mind for the most part and that'll keep you spurred on to get thru. I'm really sorry this is happening.
  25. AwdreeHpburn
    yeh - good call. But still, you're 21. You're a grown up. You're allowed to pick your mates, yeh?
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