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  1. Hi, I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is 26 years old. I worked as a digital marketing salary is only 462$ per month. And he worked as a sea farer 1000$ salary per month., Last year 2019, he have spent all his money and he borrowed to me a total of 625$ to buy his ticket plane and allowance for him to work again. And I ddnt even think twice, I lend him immediately. And he paid me just this month and year 2021,. Rightnow, I'm the one in need. My family and I is only renting a home to stay (and the owner of the land wanted us to move) and so, I want to help finish the construction of the house to new lot (me and my brother currently paying for installment of the lot.) So we can have a place to move. I only have 1,485$ in my savings, and I asked him if I could borrow 400$ just to add up. And will pay him 20% everymonth coz I'm also the one paying all the bills in my family home while my brother is paying the food.. :( and He said that he will not lend me even a small penny because it's not his problem and it's my family's problem. I blocked him in facebook after an argument and planning a break up for he was being selfish. Am I wrong ?
  2. I don’t know what to do anymore, but lately the suicidal thoughts don’t stop. They’re more frequent. They come daily. I was arrested for a theft misdeameanor 5 years ago. I had a withhold of adjudication, but can’t seal or expunge due to another charge I had previously sealed. I messed up badly, I had two lapses of judgement but one that is seemingly haunting me forever. After the case I went to impulse therapy, I volunteered for a year and a half mentoring and teaching children, teaching English, mentoring, and to various non profits, and I did a lot of personal growth. I truly feel I have paid my debt to society and since then I work even harder than anyone I know, because I know I have to prove myself now. But I keep getting denied jobs and I’m scared to apply to promotions at my job due to the possibility of an updated background check which some promotions need, and if I do apply I could get fired because my job which I’ve had for the last 5 years doesn’t know about it. I feel so stuck, I feel like I limit my own self from becoming successful because when I do try I get told no. I’m tainted for life. What’s the point of living anymore? My parents bring it up any time they can, I can literally feel their disappointment like a planet on my shoulders. I’m 25 and feel like my life has no more purpose. It doesn’t matter how much volunteer I do and experience I get without pay by volunteering. It feels like I will always have this debt to society no matter what I do. I’ve never felt this hopeless in my life
  3. Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. Long story short... The last few years has been what I consider the worst times of my life. in September 2015 my partner of over 8 years decided to leave me for a guy who she ended up marrying a year later. It threw my whole world upside down, as all these dreams & goals that we had together (or thought we had made) just blew up in my face, & I was pretty much left to pick up the pieces of my now shattered life. I know this might sound childish, but I was so emotionally invested in this person for so long and now I found myself single again, & having to literally reset my life at 31. Looking back now at 35, I saw it as an opportunity to get to know me again & really think about what I really want in my life & how I want to live, but yeah t's been a very heart aching, painful, emotionally draining process for me...and I'm still in the process kind of, I'm in a much better place emotionally now. That being said, I decided that I wanted to be debt by April next year, so I've been working a full time warehouse job to help me achieve that which is keeping that goal on track. The reason I've been feeling depressed a lot lately is because im 35 years old, I've never travelled the world outside of Australia (which is where i'm from), I don't even have a passport. I'm pretty much putting everything I make to paying off my debts by April next year so I can be debt free. I've been trying to avoid social media, seeing everybody (including my ex), who seemingly be having a great time travelling all around the world, while I'm just trying to get myself out of debt & get my life back...I've made so many hard sacrifices in the last few years & sometimes feel like is it all been worth it? I'm really yearning to quit my job, pack my bags and start travelling the world. But at the same time, I have this other yearning to be in a position where I will be 100% debt free by April next year which will put me in a debt free lifestyle position, where I guess i'd be able to have more money for travelling and more freedom to do it. (I only have my car loan left to pay off.) And I also plan to moving interstate next year to Adelaide South Australia, which I really love too...the rent is much cheaper than Sydney (where I am now), it's more relaxing & I feel I can get ahead much faster there...and plus I really miss living there too, & given all that has happened in the last few years with my ex, my finances etc...all this happened in Sydney where I am now, so I feel I need to change states. So my current plan is to just stick it out with my job until April next, i'll be completely debt free by then, then I can resign from that job & leave for Adelaide around July, & start travelling after I leave my job in April. Right now I guess I'm feeling very anxious & impatient bcoz its been a long time to be at this point where I am so close to being debt free & moving away. And as bad as I want to travel right now, which I cud if i really want to, I keep having the same thought in my mind saying to me "Just stay the course, stay focused on being debt free in April. Travelling the world debt free will be much sweeter than travelling with debt." I know there's tonnes of debates out there about debt free travelling lifestyle vs travelling while in debt. For me personally, this is not just financial baggage im letting go of, its emotional baggage too from 2015. I really do love the idea of living a debt free lifestyle, no mortgage, no car payments etc...deep down i know my gut is telling me to keep my eyes on the main goal which is freedom of debt which will lead to lots of travel. And I don't want to be in a position where I have to work like a dog in some job to pay off the travel that I did a year ago. Since my car loan is the only debt I have left, by cutting back on nice things, clothes, travelling etc, until April next year, I'll have it all paid off 20 months earlier, which I guess would be 20 months gained for travelling the world debt free...and i'll also have the money I need to move back to Adelaide by July as well. In the meantime now, I've just been sticking to that plan, & actually planning my travelling, looking at prices etc ahead of time & just deciding where I would love to start my debt free travel lifestyle, which has been lifting my spirits. But yeah, I'm trying to stay focused on the main goal & not let myself feel depressed or tricked into travelling right now just because I'm seeing people on social media doing it. I guess it's only 6 months until I'm debt free, and what's a another 6 months to achieve a debt free life for travel? How many people out there could say that right? If anyone out there could shed some light on this that would be great. :-) I'm sorry for blabbering on... Love you guys!
  4. I am engaged to a fantastic woman. We are getting married in May. We very much get together and love each other. There is one thing that is bothering me though and I am going to bring it up to her, but wanted some opinions first. Before we lived together and got engaged, we had a discussion about a number of things. One of them was her debt. She has run up a fair amount of debt over the last 5-10 years. She makes about 30k each year before tax and I make about 70k or more. I have a fairly inexpensive mortgage, but I have about 10k of debt I am trying to pay off. She has a horse that she boards that costs a lot of money each month and is a major reason for her being in debt. Now, we sort of agreed that I would take care of most things except for perhaps food and stuff like that. Well, I don't know what her debt is, but her monthly payments are in the arena of $400-$450. For the time we have lived together, she never seems to have money left over at the end of the month, even though she has no expenses now like rent or anything like that. I get nervous that she is still blowing her paycheck. I have a stock purchase program at my company that allows me to put in a certain amount of money each paycheck in order to purchase stock in one year at a 15% discount. It is a good forced savings plan that I convinced her to help contribute to and put towards paying off her debt. I have tried finding other things like that to help her control her debt. Anyways, what bothers me is stuff like today. She calls me up and says she has to come up with $98 to pay for her horse's vaccines on Wednesday. She doesn't have it and asked if I could lend her this. Well, I have lent her money on a number of occasions ($50 here, $100 there, etc.) and I never get paid back. I have written a budget for myself and what I can and can't afford. I can't really afford for her to ask for cash like that when I can't budget for it. Now, after we get married, we will want children (we have discussed this). If we are married and she is going to want to stay at home with kids, there is no way we will be able to make it by with only my paycheck and her spending habits. How should I bring this up to her? How should I let her know my concerns? I am trying to find a way of bringing this up without me totally sounding like a cheap money pinching jerk, but that I have concerns. I know I shouldn't have issues with just bringing it up, but its hard at some level to not be able to provide for what my "family" will want, even though I make a good salaray. Any input is greatly apprecitated. Thanks
  5. i ve been with my boyfrnd for 4 yrs since 2 yrs i ve been fighting everyday.. he is in huge debt and he promised he will resolve them in a yr or so but its taking em so long i cant wait to be with him. we love each other.. he is giving his work all the time and am feeling alone.. am arguing in every topic and tiny issue.. what to do to stop my anger
  6. hello all. i have been tortured with mental health problems for about 10 years now, and i dont think that things will get better. I've managed to stay alive so far, and will likely do so for a few more years yet. Thing is i dont really see a future other than living off state benefits. I have not had a girlfriend in years, i dont have any mates i dont have any money, i dont have a future. all i have is alcohol which i really truly hate. i only drink a few times a week nowadays and dont drink much either, but i know my future will evolve suffering, alcoholism and a premature death, whether by suicide or liver failure. I do see a shrink, though she is useless and i dont have a rapport with her. I also see a community psychiatric nurse as well. for example no matter how much i beg for help, they never precribe anti-depressants, or sleeping tablets or effective anti-anxiety medication As i suffer from debilitating anxiety i rarely go out, but when i do, I turn green , puke everywhere and faint when i do. I have been told that cognitive behavioural therapy would help, but because i suffer from psychosis i have been told that i am not eligible for CBT. I also have to feed my mum becuase she is so heavily in debt. consequently im always broke and have a little money to spend on myself. i just dont get it. i really dont see why i keep going, especially when i know what my future holds. life really is a stupid thing. cheers
  7. Heres the deal, since the moment i saw her i have felt an amazing feeling, one that i cannot explain, something that i know i so right. Whats funny is for the first time i feel like i would die t loose her yet i havent really even talked to her can someone please give me some advice on whether or not this girl is the one or if im going crazy anything would be appreciated phillip link removed (Free credit reports, debt consolidation and even credit cards!!)
  8. heres the deal....we both seem to enjoy eachother's company, how can i finally let her know how i feel can you guys give me some ideas on ways of telling her places to go, and things to do... i would greatly appreciate your help link removed (free credit reports. free debt consolidation and great credit card prices!!)
  9. Okay, here goes nothing... I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years a few days ago. I am having a hard time, and of course this is not the first relationship I've had that hasn't lasted. I'm just tired of feeling awful and want to be happy again. But I know that I have rushed this process in the past, and so I don't know if I've ever had "closure." This time I want to have it so I can move on without any second thoughts. So here are my current second thoughts... I want to vent a little and get others' opinions to make sure I'm not crazy or just plain dumb. My now-ex is a real sweetheart. He's one of those "good guys" that hasn't, and I still don't believe ever would, lie or cheat to someone. However, he's older than me (almost 40, while I'm almost 30), and still lives with his mother. He also has a daughter that he doesn't have contact with (long story). I ignored these initial warning signs when I met him - I believe maybe because I was on rebound from a past relationship. Yet I grew to really love him. We were very compatible, with similar interests and communication styles. But when I found out that he had accumulated tens of thousands of dollars in debt in just one year (while we were dating), I started to have doubts about his maturity. What tipped it over the edge was he recently got his license suspended due to too many tickets. I understand that this can happen to a lot of people, but I was already doubting our relationship, and I didn't want to feel like I had to take care of him like I would a child. The thought of driving him places made me think that I would resent him. I don't know. Maybe I'm just selfish, and this makes me feel really awful. So my question is... Am I dumb for letting a "good guy" go (in terms of treating me well, etc.), or am I crazy for not being able to hold on to a relationship? These may or may not be questions you can answer, I know. Thanks for reading my looonnng post, and any thoughts are appreciated!
  10. I feel this topic hasnt been dicussed on here and Im really looking for solid ways to alter my mindset on it. Its something I want to change. I have always said the only thing that matters is how a person treats you. Not what they have in money or status. Ive always dated blue collar guys.... Until I met my ex. As time went on I discovered how rich he really was as well as his family. They had status and knew alot of important people. It would feel like a glamorous life. We'd go out and it would feel like hollywood status. It was a world where nobody struggled financially, the word mortgage was a taboo. The word debt was taboo. I couldnt relate to it . I came from a working class upbringing. But it grew on me and it became like nothing. Things people would find outrageous would be like nothing to me now. Like buying a house in full cash . So my mind got altered.... I wanted this for my future. I inserted myself in the life of attractive and rich people. I loved it. My future kids would have a great life. Right? ...wrong.... As many of u read,this ex was abusive to me. He treated me bad. U can read the posts. Not getting into it on this post again. But i realized how it all meant nothing if ur a crappy person. Left him finally. But since ive been swooped up into this hollywood type life and now spit back to reality ,i am very altered. I am a working class woman who wants a good man to treat me good... But its an adjustment to go back to working class men. I want my original feelings back where i felt good around anyone who works a 9 to 5. Where i can just focus on how they treat me and not what they can give me. Ive been talking to regular men and now the thought of debt scares me. The thought of bad credit scares me. The thought of having to have tough financial times scare me. I dont have bad credit. Im not in debt so why should I settle?. Thing is, these guys are great people so theyd make good partners. How do I stop this fantasy life my ex put into me and just focus on good treatment now. I dont want to overlook good men. I believe my ex was so negative on the working class it almost rubbed off into me AND I dont want that bcuz I am working class and want a happy marriage with love.... not just money. I hope I didnt come off as superficial. I am a person who was never superficial, became it because of a lifestyle change, and now want my old thinking back. Has anyone ever been in this situation. Any feedback is great. Thanks
  11. I have been with my partner for three years. We have lived together for the past two years. Last year I bought my own flat with the inheritance money that my dad left me and we moved out of our rented flat into it. We have had issues in the past with his money problems. He is a recovering CG and racked up a lot of debt before he met me. He tends to hide his problems from me and eventually I discover, he promises not to do it again and I forgive him. Besides that our relationship has been great. However I started a new job 7 months ago which has been extremely stressful and requires quite a lot of travel. My new manager has been horrible and bullying me, so I have been coming home stressed and upset every night. A few weeks ago I discovered some debt letters (opened) in the flat and found out he hadn’t paid his employment tax or his car insurance (meaning he was driving around uninsured for months). I was so upset with him and I said I didn’t know if I could be with him in the long run if he kept hiding things from me. Fast forward three weeks, my job situation gets increasingly worse and comes to a head. We are having dinner one evening and he turns to me and says I’m not happy, I’m not sure if I love you any more and says he wants to move out. I’m obviously shocked, hurt and angry but I say if that’s what you want I can’t stop you. He then starts back tracking and saying maybe we could start dating again in a few weeks but he needs to move out. He is crying his eyes out over it. The next day he packs a bag and leaves, still crying and very upset. He texts me the following day and says how sorry he is and that he hopes we can meet in a few weeks and see what happens. I don’t reply until the following day and tell him how much he has hurt me. I suggest we have a call and lay all of our cards on the table (I suspected it could be money). He agrees and we speak on the phone and he says he wants us to work, that we deserve that and that we can meet up in a few weeks. He also says he wants some space but he doesn’t want us not to message each other and if I need him for anything then to please contact him. The following day he comes over to the flat to collect all of his belongings. He is crying and keeps hugging me and saying how sorry he is. When he takes the tv (his tv), I ask him if he will use it and he says no it will go in his mums loft. I said maybe I could buy it off him and he says “If all goes well it will be back with me at some point”. I agree to give him space and he says he will message me later in the week and set up a date for us to meet. It’s been two days and I haven’t heard from him and won’t contact him myself. I am so hurt and upset. With everything I am going through with work to, I feel like I am at an all time low and he is leaving me in the middle of it. If he wanted to break up with me why not just do it but he keeps saying we can meet in a few weeks and try to start over. He also hasn’t changed his relationship status on social media. I am so confused, I love him so much but I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for this. I mean he has cleared all of his things out of my flat and it was all so sudden, not a word of warning.
  12. I almost died a couple of years ago from advanced cancer. The treatment was brutal. I've been in severe debt. I worked my way out of it. I've been betrayed by friends. Nothing compares to the pain I feel from losing my partner. Even my most recent relationship, which lasted only a month and a half, has taken a severe toll on me. For the three weeks it took for from our initial split to the very end, I could hardly sleep, barely eat, and my mind was consumed with thoughts of her. Even at this time, 48 hours after I made the decision to let go, I can't stop thinking of her. Break ups are my one true weakness.
  13. I dont want my relationship I have stopped wanting it for a long time already but no matter how much I try to be rid of it I always wanted my friendship regardless however it has been along time for me to continue feeling like this and at this point I personally dont care about the friendship I am on the side regarding reality and responsibility Me and my boyfriend have many bills we need to cover that reach over 3,000 usd and more to be exact. It would probably be less if it was individually however each of us have debts to cover. He has a job and ever since he started working when he was 20 (is 21 now halfway to 22) He has the money spending love. Like he always wants to spend money on stuff and more stuff to keep himself entertained. He has troubles saving and its my fault why he has issues saving. I want a job to have money to spend but also save in the ideal case of one day im hungry, I have the money to order what I want and no one can tell me otherwise cause its my money. I want to work but having a relationship and working is no longer working out for me. I have ran away from my boyfriend many times, like literally left and hid away from hours to days and he literally went through food rejections and feelings of depression. I do care about him during those times but if the only way he would feel better is if I would be with him again, then no thanks. But i still feel sad cause I feel bad that hes feeling that way. Not totally responsible cause in the end I want out of dealing with him. Anyways. I am currently looking for a job but he is making it a little difficult for me due to trust issues. I called a company i used to work for and the manager was quick to give me an interview date. I found that odd and he found that suspicious. I didnt pay mind only to the fact that it was actually an interview at a certain location, A chance. I wake up early and am ready in 30 minutes. He stops me to argue with me how he doesnt trust me. So i called the place where im taking the interview and put the woman on speaker clarifying my interview and he still didnt buy it. One time I left him because he prevented me from working even though at that time i was the only one providing and we needed the money to pay the bills, He got mad with how focused I was with them. The bills were still high at that point . Because of that issue I ended up missing out on work and ended up getting fired. I do not believe in self production (like if i were to make a game and sell it) I believe in labor in working. I work for this amount of time and get this much money. I want to report my taxes and get my money back and etc. However he insists to do so since i do nothing else but be at home with his family ( we still live with them ,big family too) Knowing we have financial problems he wants me to carry his child, On the loving side of my heart I would be happy to but on the other side,realistically speaking, There is no money to support a child. The fact that we owe money to multiple places cause me stress every time i think about it, imagine that if im pregnant? I dont want children until our problems are solved or at least extremely manageable. He cant do that by himself. I can get that getting stuff for yourself is important but we have been having debt issues for over a year I want to run away and stay low for a while so that he wouldnt look for me Im even considering to just hide and let him get on with himself till he doesnt decide to pursue me , then try again getting a job. But if i do that The bills will be on my mind and Im 99% sure I cant avoid him regarding those. Some of them go under my name and without them He wont have a pick up. Like no phone data which is important Good internet (we have our own since sharing the house wifi is slow) ......thats about it , maybe food if he decides to buy some He plans to get his bank out of negative since its the least he needs to pay off ( -$200) But that was the very first debt he owed and it was made back in 2015. I dont want him to fall and fail but I dont want to be there for him any longer I want to focus on a job to get rid of these issues and no longer on my relationship But why does that feel wrong I know he has an issue against it is it possible that he is right I dont know anymore our relationship is really difficult to comprehend
  14. Ok...boyfriends great....well...one thing.... the kid doesnt know how how to manage money...hes so in debt...he took out a lone for $4,000 and BELIEVES somewere in his head that he doesnt have to pay that back...that he actually fixed the situation.... he buys stuff and later on regrets buying it...he has a 2006 mustang convertable that is $700 dollars a month = REGRETS IT buys a bloflex=regrets it buys me a $900 dollar ring 2 years ago = doesnt regret it but is still paying on it i cant move in with someone like that... and on top of all this... on top of it all... he goes out and buys the newest x-box with that money... come ON ARE YOU SERIOUS? ITS NOT FREE MONEY!!!!! men...how do you talk to someone about that...expecially if there so use to giving there parents money for there gambling problem, giving everyone money...basically like being the father of the house... what do i say. how do i say things? does he know what is really going on...or in his mind...does he think hes really ok?
  15. Ok so me and my guy have been getting serous as of late to say the least. Talking marriage big time. He said he wants to wait to ask me till he can afford a ring and stuff (recently laid-off, damn IT feild!), so thats cool. I really don't care about the ring and stuff, but its important to him, so whatever, I have a little time. My question here... What do I get him? I mean engagment ring, I want to give him something... Is this customary for the gal to get the guy something? I have been looking online, and nada... No help. He isn't a ring sorta guy or I would totally get him a mangagment ring hehe, like he will wear a wedding band, i know... but other than that, nope. I was thinking really nice watch? If not that what? If girls do get the guy something, what do they get? Gee the men have it SO much easier! But seriously, I love him and I really want to get something when he asks me to express how I feel for him. I have till summer I think, he was talking about asking me then because debt would be gone (hopefully!) by then. So I have 6 months to save up really. So I would be able to have a few thousand really I could spend, so money isn't so much an issue as what to get him. Any of you gals (or guys have your gal) get something for your Mr. Right when he popped the question? If so what and did it go over well? I just want him to know how special he is to me and that I am crazy about him!
  16. I got my own auto insurance policy about a year ago (I used to be under my parents since it was cheaper) and I remember them sending me a letter saying that my premium is higher because of my credit history and the amount of debt I have. I'm about $18k in debt due to school loans and another couple of thousand from my credit card. I was not aware of the fact that it would actually affect how much I'm paying for my car insurance. I always thought that it was based on your driving record. So does this mean that my premium will go down once my debt has been cleared?? Also, about one's credit history . . . it is to my knowledge that as long as you make the min payment every month, that it would not affect your credit history. Is this also true? I also have a habit of signing up for credit cards because of promotions and then cancelling them after about a year or two, does that affect my credit history as well?
  17. hey guys. my biggest problem...is what i am going to do with my life. i got good gcses. a levels BCC in maths, physics and biology ( god knows why i took them ) then i had a year out working in a shop and in as a waitress. I tried psychology at uni but dropped out after the first term. i haven't done anything since due to mia/depression. I don't even have a part time job. i can't stop thinging what to do next. I have a place to do fashion design and forcasting at a collage starting in september. But i can't just go and do that becasue i have nothing else to do. i don't think i will be very good at it. And im scared i will do that get into debt, finshish the degree,...and then not have a job. Im thinking of getting into a job and working my way up, just from having my alevels i suppose. but i have no idea where to start. what to do/where to look. I am so down and feel so huge at the mo i can't even walk to the shopS! I know i need to sort myself out but i just dont know where to start.
  18. Long story short: I'm getting my first apartment. I'm excited and scared all at the same time... I currently have about $700 worth of credit card debt, and I may have to dig myself a bit deeper to pay all the fees associated with first getting an apartment. I know I will eventually be able to get out of this debt, but the fact that I have it at all is what bugs me...and I only have $60 in my savings. I'm really going to be *just* getting by. I'll have about $180 leftover every month after paying bills (and estimating my electric at $100 a month-although it may be lower). And that does not include putting gas in my car... Most people I'm sure have been in this position before...I feel so stressed out, but I'm still relieved that I'm finally getting a place of my own. Does anyone have any advice for me? I've read tons of online articles about renting, so I'm not completely clueless...but this money-stuff has got me so worried...
  19. I have an older brother who is 36. He is single, never married- no girlfriend. Never left home, lives with my Mom. Hes a college graduate and makes over $150, 000 a year. He has taken a second job and now works weekends, he has no days off and gets out of work at like 9 pm. He comes home, eats, goes to bed and gets up at 5am. Hes in debt at all, owes no one any money. He tells me he is saving up enough money so he can have close to one million dollars and he told me he hopes to accomplish this by 40... He has gotten fat, his hair is grey. My mom makes him lunch. He tells me he will prob never get married cause hes fat now and has no life. I told him i think you should lose weight, he tells me no its too late hes 36 an old man. I told him at 36 he should have his own apartment and he will feel happy. He tells me hes been living at home for 36 years and having his own place will do nothing for him. So i told him but you havent tried it, how do you know? He says cause he knows. I think this is a very weird situation. I think its highly unhealthy. How do I convince him that having the second job is destructive and so is living at home when you make over $150, 000 with no debt at all? He is very nerdy and a mommas boy so i know this has to do alot with his behaviour.
  20. Is anyone else dealing with this matter? At this point, I feel I've abandoned my life to paying for my four year education. I had little practical or wise insight when I went about the college process. I did not know the difference from public and private schools, my father encouraged me not to work during school (he's not paying for it!). Now I owe more than I should. More than it's worth. And to add to that, I wanted to pursue a master's and was accepted into a program at UCLA but I'm seriously reconsidering. If I incur this new debt, I could likely end up paying more than 100k in loans. I honestly regret doing what I've done. I don't recommend college for the poor unless they are studying to be engineers or doctors.
  21. for those who know... you will see me you will see me here or there there is no hope even in suicide the best of me has gone the courage to give all the body will live on as it wishes but the soul will have no part for i have slain it gray eyes and cold tomorrow hands washed in eternal silence a trail of blood to the opening of hell where i threw my dead soul and my debt was repaid but hey, i still have my sense of humor
  22. Im know im not the only person thats dealing with financial setbacks in the world, but lately I have been beating myself up alot about my financial situation. This whole year was bad luck after bad luck for my family and I. From having to move out of our Apartment right down to pinching every last penny just so my daughter can have food on the table. I fell way behind in my bills then I have ever did before. Then when I finally just about caught up, we had to move out of our apartment because my landlord needed her unit for a displaced family member. So there I had to skip some bills just to make first mionths rent and deposit for a new place. Thankfully we got that new place, but the cutting bills in half or skipping payments put us right back where we started at the beginning of the year. Everytime I think Im about to be rid of Debt the financial grim reaper seems to find me and pulls me back in the collection agency world. Im often depressed cause no matter how hard I try I feel like a failure. I look at my daughter and husband and I feel as if i failed them. My husband puts in long hours at work just so that we can have moneyleft over for neccesaties, I take care my daughter and work part time 4 days out of the week cause we cant afford childcare and the programs they do have out there for child care help wont help us cause our gross incomes is over the financial limit required for chil care assistance.. I could go on and on .. If there is anyone out there who has been down this road before have any advice on how i can recover it would be greatly appericated. And also will giving some kind of payment no matter how much it is to my creditors, do u think that would help them see immaking some kind of effort instead of just skipping them completely??
  23. Ahh I didnt think I would be back here so soon? Anyway I am going to vent. Maybe writing down the issues will clarify things slightly in my own head I have been dating a lovely girl for over a year now. Her financial situation was always chaotic even when I met here and while we where dating (About 5 months into our relationship) she had issues with accommodation. I had just moved into my own flat so I offered a place to her. That was about 7 months ago. Well, it hasnt been easy with visa issues and studies for her and she has managed to get quite heavily into debt, whilst I was paying all the household bills(I am 8 years older and professional person so dont mind too much). I have also paid for her studies(she need to study for her visa), most of the visa application and have pretty much been paying the lions share of everything Although our relationship is good(Obviously we have our ups and downs), she has become financially dependant on me and for the past few weeks has had absolutely no money whatsoever. When she did still have money available it was not like she was skimping and saving either. Recently she needed a moderate sum of money for a friend who was going back home that she owed money too which I provided. I was slightly perturbed when she didnt even acknowledge that with a thank you. We had been planning to go on holiday but under the circumstances I would have to pay for two and the holiday would probably leave her in more financial trouble than she is in already. She didnt really ask ask if this was OK with me and assumed I would just foot the bill I confronted her about not acknowledging the reciept of the money for her debt as well as why she assumed that it was OK that I would pay for both of us to go on the trip and she exploded and told me all I think about is money and in short that she wish she had never met me. She said she would have paid what would amount to a 5th of the cost of the trip. So I asked how she then expected to pay the overdue balances on the credits cards which amounted to about the same amount. This was met with a very hostile response I expected her to be upset but was not really prepared for so violent a reaction, but I replaied by saying that if I didnt feel right about this that we shoudl discuss it and its not really fair to react like that. She was as cold as ice and didnt want to enter into any rational discussion about it. I have decided I am going to stick to my guns on this no matter what the outcome as I feel that if we cannot really discuss these issues then there is not much point to relationship. Owing to visa limitations, she has not been able to get the best jobs, and I am sure she is not happy about being dependent on me, but she does seem to have a problem with money and if we are to have a relationship, we need to confront the issue of the mounting debt and I dont really think that an expensive holiday is exactly the right thing to do. Alarm bells are ringing as I am a hard worker and financially conservative, have no debt and I am trying very hard to get money together for house, own business, kids whatever comes up along the way. I am quite prepared to make the sacrifice of not going on holiday, owing to her situation and to help her with her debt and studies, but I dont really feel like it is a reciprocal feeling. It almost feels like the more I do the less it requires her to be financially responsible. I do have money for this holiday, and she knows that, but its not really a priority now and I would rather save it or do something for financial security or progress I almost feel guilty for having financial goals and dreams of a better life, that I know are only going to materialise with hard work and prudence. I dont have any family here and if I scr£w things up, I am on my own. I feel like I am being unneccessarily tight (stingy for all you in the US), but its not like I am a millionaire(very far from it) and I will need to save hard to have any pension,funds for future kids school etc I know I am not being very romantic but , life is not always fun and after providing all the neccessites of life I am a bit irritated that she has racked up the debt and I dont really feel like using my hard earned cash to bail her out. I think it would be sending the wrong message. I am in realtionship limbo now as she is fuming, but I am not backing down. As her boyfriend I dont really feel I should be subject to such abuse nor obliged to do more than I have done. Has anybody got any takes on this? Any input appreciated
  24. Let me tell you my story.. I am 19, a freshman in college and I am going to the community college and still living at home with my parents. I was suppose to go away to school last fall but ended up changing my mind last minute because it was a privte school, I wasnt in love with it, and if I wanted to one day transfer half the credits wouldnt be accepted anywhere else So it would have been a waste of time and money. I hate the fact that I am going to the community college and STILL living at home. I have always said as soon as I turn 18 im moving out.. and I have always waited for that day.. and here I am 19.. still living at home. I am sick of it, and living in this city.. I never lived anywhere else in 19 years and I have known the SAME people the whole time. All of my friends have their own life now and we talk occasionally but i just crave moving away and meeting new people.. and being on my own! So my option.. My boyfriend of 2 yrs lives in Alabama during the school year he goes to Auburn University. I have been thinking seriously about moving up there after Christmas and going to the community college (10 mins away from his campus) next semester and then Auburn in the fall. He is living on an on-campus apartment so we couldnt live together because he has to finish the school yaer out in it. But we decided that we are going to live up there year-round because the main reason he came home during summers and stuff was to see me. So during the summer we can get an apartment together.. and live "happily ever after".. The problem.. I can't decide if I should move up their in the Spring or wait until the summer. I know it would be soo much smarter to wait untiil the summer (money wise) Because I am in some debt and it would give me time to get it all paid off and to save some money to rely on while I am up there. Also if I wait until summer I would have someone to share rent with.. and I wouldnt have to spend five months bymyself.. I asked God to send me a sign with what I should do and stuff and then that night I got an email about a job-opening for 30 hours a week.. which is perfect.. but I would still be struggling to pay bills... pay off my debt.. and buy everything I am going to need for an apartment (dishes,towels, blankets, plates, etc) So it would be soo much smarter to wait until summer.. but at the same time I dont want to wait at all and the thought of it kills me... I know 5 months isnt that long.. but its the fact that my b/f and I have been separated for a year and a half now.. i forgot what it is like to just be able to hang out with your boyfriend whenever you want.. and im sick of seeing other couples together and just knowing that I am old enough and done with high school and I can do something about it.. My heart says to move in the spring.. but my mind thinks about how hard it is going to be and basically reality.. But if I move up there I am going to take out a student loan for back-up money.. and I mean we are only in college once.. I feel that I should really take this chance.. but I know I have the rest of my life to live on my own.. So tell me what you would do if you were me.. or if anyone ever dealt with something like this.. what did you choose and how did it work out.. and should I listen to my heart or be smart about it and wait...
  25. I know its not right, its not easy to talk about. I have grown up with my brother all my life, im 25 and should be able to understand him, but i dont. It feels like everything in my life has been ruined by my brother. Hes so selfish and such an awful person. He has got himself into debt, and has joined the armed forces. Now we have creditors ringing us up 24/7 asking for money, even i have bailed him out of hundreds in debt to keep him out of prison for his spending problems. I will never see that money repaid. Well it goes back a long way, he has always used me as a way of fitting in, when we were children he joined a "gang" and told them all sorts of things about me so they had a target, someone to bully, just so he fitted in. He doesnt care about anyone but himself. Even now he is back for the weekend, my parents are on holiday and i finished a shift working at a bar, the house is wrecked, littered with beercans and fag-butts. It will take me hours to clean up, and i have to work tomorrow, when i asked him to help, he pointed out that my parents left me in charge, its my responsibilty. He even stayed up for 2 hours just because he knows that i like an hour to unwind after a busy shift. The worst thing is, he thinks I have a problem, its all me and he is fantastic! The question I am trying to ask is simple, should I hate him, because I do! Its not right, this goes beyond sibling rivalry! Has anyone experienced something similar? What should I do? Thank you for reading this. I need your help. Ben
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