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  1. Hi everyone! I am new on here and I'm looking for some advice on my relationship predicament. I apologize it is somewhat complicated/lengthy. I have been with this guy for 4 years. Our personalities are basically the same and we like all of the same stuff. But, lately we have been drifting apart and he doesn't communicate well at all. His major downfalls are that he cannot seem to get his life together. His license got suspended, he has no car insurance, a theft on this record, and he cannot find a stable job. I have been paying for our rent, groceries, and I have put myself in debt to k
  2. I feel this topic hasnt been dicussed on here and Im really looking for solid ways to alter my mindset on it. Its something I want to change. I have always said the only thing that matters is how a person treats you. Not what they have in money or status. Ive always dated blue collar guys.... Until I met my ex. As time went on I discovered how rich he really was as well as his family. They had status and knew alot of important people. It would feel like a glamorous life. We'd go out and it would feel like hollywood status. It was a world where nobody struggled financially, the word mortga
  3. Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. Long story short... The last few years has been what I consider the worst times of my life. in September 2015 my partner of over 8 years decided to leave me for a guy who she ended up marrying a year later. It threw my whole world upside down, as all these dreams & goals that we had together (or thought we had made) just blew up in my face, & I was pretty much left to pick up the pieces of my now shattered life. I know this might sound childish, but I was so emotionally invested in this person for so long and now I found myself single aga
  4. I have been with my partner for three years. We have lived together for the past two years. Last year I bought my own flat with the inheritance money that my dad left me and we moved out of our rented flat into it. We have had issues in the past with his money problems. He is a recovering CG and racked up a lot of debt before he met me. He tends to hide his problems from me and eventually I discover, he promises not to do it again and I forgive him. Besides that our relationship has been great. However I started a new job 7 months ago which has been extremely stressful and requires qui
  5. My mom had these crisis/ prevention people call me last night after she saw my dad punch and kick me. He has fits of bipolar rage. It has been like that for 12 years since I(17) was about 5. I have been getting hit(hard) off and on for 12 years. Back in 2009, a psychatrist asked me a bunch of questions, they told my parents I had depression, social anxiety and very mild anxiety provoking ocd. I have not seen a therapist or a counsellor. I did online school for a few years but when I went to a school it was small and they did not have counsellors there(they didn't even have a lunchroom or baske
  6. I am losing track of my family. I have not seen them for 18 years. It is eating me up. They are a bunch of control freaks, but that is not what I have to talk about right now. They used to trick me into coming there through guilt trips. I live far away, and it is expensive to travel there. Last time I was there was 18 years ago. Everybody ganged up on me and guilt tripped me into coming. There was this plan we would all work together on a certain computer project for 6 months. A writing project. Everybody kept saying that they would all be there, and that I was the main reason they were doin
  7. I live in a state that doesn't recognize community property. Our home was purchased solely by myself before we were married and that goes for all the major items inside and including both vehicles. I pretty much own everything. I only purchased my home 2 years ago, so the equity is negligible. I haven't put one cent into my 401k since marriage since I have been using every extra penny to pay down debt for this exact situation. So there's really nothing there for her either. Today I moved all the wedding gift money (5 grand more or less) into my checking account in case she decides to do so
  8. Please no hate, I am not a gold digger, I just want someone who I can be a team w/. I do have a BA, at the moment I am deciding what I want to do. In the mean time I have acquired a license and I work in the medical field. Almost a year ago now, I just got out of my 1st serious relationship w/a very unmotivated, immature and unambitious person, I will never date another person like him. I met a new guy, I really like him, but he has yet to go to college due to how expensive college is. He is currently saving up, but he does want to pursue a degree. Before I met my ex, I would have been e
  9. I've been dating this guy now for about a year and he treats me so wonderful... Buys me "just because" flowers, massages my feet after a long day's work, cooks dinner, cleans and is emotionally supportive. The issue that I'm having is that I'm always paying for EVERYTHING bc he NEVER has money. He had a high paying job a few years ago, didn't save ANY of that income, accrued a lot of debt including 70k in school loans and buying a bunch of material crap (expensive clothes, shoes, electronics for him and his ex at the time). He was laid off from that job about a year and a half ago (then his
  10. yabby

    I'm done

    This past month and a half has been the hardest thing I've ever been through, I'm so exhausted and nothing is getting better. My boyfriend left me, leaving me with ridiculous amounts of debt and stuck in a lease I can't break and can't leave my housemates with as they can't afford it So having to deal with heartbreak as well as all that and being in a state with no friends or family I lost my job and I cannot get another one and in running out of money I can't stop thinking about killing myself I wish I was dead Nothing is getting better Everyone is better off without me What is th
  11. Long post, sorry in advance, but thank you for reading! I met my wife 9 years ago and we've been married for 5 years. We were 25 when we got married. For the first 7 years of our relationship, she always had a decent job, was a hard worker and seemed very career-oriented, often expressing desire to move up into management given enough time to progress her career. During the early years, I got some certifications in IT and began my career as well, quickly moving up to Senior level positions, which meant more money but also more stress. We bought our first house and everything was going prett
  12. I dont want my relationship I have stopped wanting it for a long time already but no matter how much I try to be rid of it I always wanted my friendship regardless however it has been along time for me to continue feeling like this and at this point I personally dont care about the friendship I am on the side regarding reality and responsibility Me and my boyfriend have many bills we need to cover that reach over 3,000 usd and more to be exact. It would probably be less if it was individually however each of us have debts to cover. He has a job and ever since he started working when he w
  13. I had this discusssion with my long-term college boyfriend the other day, and I was wondering what you fine people thought of this topic. I'm planning on attending graduate school, and when it's all said in done I'm probably going to be about $120,000-$140,000 in debt. I know this, and I'm doing everything I can do save money - living at home and commuting to school for a few years, packing a lunch, working during school, applying for scholarships, etc. I'm halfway though my undergrad degree and I'm roughly $6,000 in debt, which is not bad at all, in my humble opinion. While having one
  14. I almost died a couple of years ago from advanced cancer. The treatment was brutal. I've been in severe debt. I worked my way out of it. I've been betrayed by friends. Nothing compares to the pain I feel from losing my partner. Even my most recent relationship, which lasted only a month and a half, has taken a severe toll on me. For the three weeks it took for from our initial split to the very end, I could hardly sleep, barely eat, and my mind was consumed with thoughts of her. Even at this time, 48 hours after I made the decision to let go, I can't stop thinking of her. Break ups are my one
  15. I found out a few weeks ago that my boyfriend of 4 years was spending money before we had it or just putting it on a credit card. He already has $15,000 in debt from his previous marriage. He has lied to me about how much he spent and he always tells me "I got it" or "I'll figure it out". After I found all of this out I took over the financial responsibility and took control of how much we were spending and where. Well jump forward to today, he told me that he messed up and bout a $300 scope for a gun yesterday. So not only did he put more money on the credit card but he also didn't tell me ab
  16. I don’t know what to do anymore, but lately the suicidal thoughts don’t stop. They’re more frequent. They come daily. I was arrested for a theft misdeameanor 5 years ago. I had a withhold of adjudication, but can’t seal or expunge due to another charge I had previously sealed. I messed up badly, I had two lapses of judgement but one that is seemingly haunting me forever. After the case I went to impulse therapy, I volunteered for a year and a half mentoring and teaching children, teaching English, mentoring, and to various non profits, and I did a lot of personal growth. I truly feel I
  17. Just seems like everything is falling in place just right. Everything is getting lined out. Debt situation for me is under control, hopefully a couple more months and I'll be debt free, then I can afford to buy us a house there in Podunk Kentucky. Going to start learning a new trade, learning taxidermy so after the kids are out of college I can come home to stay. Hoping for the best
  18. My boyfriend took me into his apartment and let me live with him and fed me after I got in a really bad car accident and had nothing; no car, no money, no job, no food, nothing. He knew I had nothing and offered to help me get back on my feet and asked me to live with him, even though I had another friend I could have gone to live with after the accident. I didn’t pay rent the first month I was there, and he fed me with the food already in his cabinets. Fast forward a little over three months and I had to move out after our conflicts started getting violent. We are still together but still
  19. I’m in a LTR, 7 years now, 5 years married in late 30s. The issue is my partner doesn’t appear to want to work. We don’t have children and even still I can’t motivate her to find employment. When we met she had employment but 2 years in lost her job and hasn’t bothered to go back into work. It would be all good and well if I was made of lot of money but I’m not. I do reasonable well, have a very busy job and many other side activities which generate small amounts of income. I’ve tried everything from not talking about it, to motivating her to seek employment by making suggestions, sending
  20. Hey everyone, Thought I'd post an update on what's been happening since my previous post. So a while back I made the decision that I was going to finish paying off all my debts by April next year, which will make me 100% debt free. I decided that I would take a full time job in order to accomplish this goal. I started the job in April & it took me about 6 months to finally get all my bills and stuff back to normal again, since I had been struggling with money before that due to personal circumstances I had been dealing with at the time. So as of now, I'm all caught up with my bills e
  21. I need some advise please. First a bit of back story: early this year my wife of 5 years (female 29) racked up a load of debt on a credit card and in the end got a large loan to pay for it. I (male 30) found out when I went through out bank statements and found the money going in then straight out She told me that she had gotten rid of the credit car, however after not trusting something she said about a transaction I went through her phone and her banking app and found that she was using her credit card. At the time I didn't say anything because I went through her banking app and found it,
  22. Have $500 to pay one first and wanted to ask which one I should pay first The one that I owe $ 700 or $2900? Thanks a lot
  23. I lost someone dear to me lately and it’s not the first time but this is the first time I had this epiphany. Growing up I did what I wanted to do, bought what I wanted to buy, cared about what I wanted to care about etc. I’m not a bad person ive always been sympathetic and never made anyone feel bad about the choice they make. I’ve done what I can to help but I always focused on myself and it didn’t affect me until now. I lost a great girl recently due to actions I’ve made in the past that put me in debt and I spend a lot of time at work to pay that debt off (as I’m used to). Made it had to
  24. I've posted not too long ago about the fact that I've been struggling with depression and I resort to cutting in order to control it: [thread]542313[/thread] Some back story... I received a Master's Degree in Law and I completely despise it. It was a career field chosen for me by my parents that no amount of arguing could get me out of. I didn't do well in my classes and now I can't even get a job vacuuming the floors of the most low rated unknown law firms. Teaching is also out of the question as even with a Master's I have no clue about Law. I was recently fired from my retail job and
  25. My fiancée and I have been together for 6 years. Whilst almost every other part of our relationship is great we haven't kissed or had sex in four years. The trouble is we live together (rented) and most of the bills are in my name. I also don't have any family and friends nearby (we live in her hometown) that I can count on for support or somewhere to stay. We also have credit cards with a couple grand debt on which are in our names. We are supposed to be paying it off by June (should I wait?). I just don't know how to go about breaking up with her. I know it's going to absolutely crush her
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