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AwdreeHpburn

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Everything posted by AwdreeHpburn

  1. AwdreeHpburn
    Nobillis - I don't know. I certainly can't speak for all women but for me, I just don't know. I dare not say all women who don't want to have sex are selfish, but...it is sort of selfish, FOR ME. When I know my husband appreciates sex and he knows that I appreciate going out to dinner, flowers, hearing nice things, him taking the kids, helping with chores and he actually does all these things!! Incredulously I say, what is wrong with me that I can't give him a little of what he wants! EVEN if he IS only doing those things to get sex, he is because he wants it and its important to him. I don't know why I get selfish at times. Or why other women do, if they do. If I went to a marriage counselor, someone who could help drag it out of me, I bet there IS a reason. Sorry RayKay, I was just asking... you said ...walk away from your wife and kids. I was just curious why you said it that way. No offense meant, really.
  2. AwdreeHpburn
    I agree RayKay with everything you said ....cept, why would getting a divorce mean he would be walking away from his kids?
  3. AwdreeHpburn
    They were greeting you, not questioning you. They had been waiting for you. Like your little pets, come to say, "hello mommy. welcome home. more food please!"
  4. AwdreeHpburn
    Cranston - I am in the same boat only I am your wife (not literally, obvioulsy). And I gotta say, there is a lot more going on FOR ME, than I let on. He says and does all the things you've said and done. I know I'm a s*&t and I really don't mean to be but I really AM exhausted at the end of the night, I'm really unhappy blah blah blah - bottom line, it's all very selfish. Its sad but true. At the end of the day, literally, its all about me. I'M too tired, I'M not in the mood, I just don't want to.... If my husband asked for a divorce because of it, which I can totally see him doing after 4 years of this - forget 8, he wouldn't stand it that long, I would be MORTIFIED! I may be alone and get totally blasted for this, but I think you should try the shock therapy approach so she knows you're more serious than complaining and complaining but letting her "get away" with it, in a manner of speaking....for 8 years. BUT, I suggest you try the, "I made us an appointment with a marriage counsler" first. Don't go straigt to the "I want a divorce" type shock. That could be fatal. If she asks why you made an appt, tell her because you've been thinkingabout divorce.
  5. AwdreeHpburn
    "sinlge although and serioulsy committed" is an oxymoron - by MY defintion at least. def - you asking for advice or permission? I think -and I don't mean this insulting - but I think you're being a bit naive. I think you should re-read Poco's response. He's experienced (quite a bit apparently) and the advice he offered sounds pretty solid to me. I have known plenty of people (not me, a close friend, ahem...)who've done this and there seems to always be "fallout" as poco so beautifully put it. I know YOUR relationship will be different and you probably WILL be the one guy and girl who pull it off flawlessly, but I think you asked for opinions so you could gather information. Consider yourself warned.
  6. AwdreeHpburn
    Good advice Elektra! Caterina I agree with every word of Elektra's advice. I am sorry you're hurting.
  7. AwdreeHpburn
    I've been trying to think if there any bugs that freak me out cuz everyone seems to have at least one. Bugs creep me out a bit but I don't have a de-mobilizing fear of any.... ...Cept woodticks. They are soooo disgusting. They bury their stupid little heads under your skin and dip it into your blood stream and drink from it like its the biggest beer bong in the world and they're at the party of the century. Then, like any of us would, they bloat up to like, 17 times their size. Its disgusting. I sooo have freaked out, screaming and carrying on...never fainted, but I did vomit once trying to take one off a dog..... blahhhh
  8. AwdreeHpburn
    I noticed fairie's avatar too....I liked it. I do agree with most of your post Dako. Coffee prolly is a gateway drug. Or maybe Kool-Aid. I think that's how I got started. Kool-Aid when I was a kid. And I think it wa my own MOM who turned me on to it. Coffee when I was a teen-ager, then it was on! Pot, coke... It is sort of silly when you put it that way.
  9. AwdreeHpburn
    I agree with Xmrth - as a girl, if I got a letter from a guy I'd never talked to, I'd be sort of weirded out. Although if its a guy I was into, I'd prolly be happy with any thing I got from him, but I agree with both posters so far, talk to her, no note, just talkie. It IS hard an no one would ever laugh at you for feeling that. My advice is... start small. Like Shysoul would say, start small. Just say Hi once. Then another day, say hi again. Then if/when you see her in the halls, say hi. Eventually you can have a longer conversation. If you know her name, use it once, say, "Hi xxxxx" That's how these things start. Looking, saying hi, longer conversations. Don't be afraid to let it take its course. Take the time that may be required. Ya never know, if you start saying hi, she might start talking to YOU.
  10. AwdreeHpburn
    yep yep - he needs to hear it. I agree with NJRon too, if its been that long, time he knows!
  11. AwdreeHpburn
    barnett - I'm really sorry you're going thru this and that you're kids are going thru this. Its always a tough thing... I am not an attorney so there are many questions I can't answer but having watched my brother go thru this recently I just want to tell you, beg you rather, get a lawyer. They WILL tell you what you CAN get, what the laws are and are usually pretty good about being honest. And, they usually work with trying to get you what you want. If you can pay for a lawyer, get one. They're very worth it. I don't think you will have to pay for her to have one. That sounds weird. My brother's horrible, horrible ex went and got one well before my brother could afford one and until he could he was SOL and got the very raw end of the deal. Anyway - there should be no "court" necessarily, mostly meetings with mediation. I doubt being granted the divorce will be a prob, sounds like you both are ready for it, so to speak... I suggest you get an attorney and go for the gold. Go for it all. Don't cut her out of the kids' lives, but go for it all. Asking for everything leaves a lot to negotiate with. You shouldn't have to pay for any of her fees. She's on her own now. She left you, which I think will help your "case," for the divorce at least. File - and file quickly. Good luck dude, serioulsy. Try to get what you can. Often good fathers are raked over the coals and its sad and sort of sexist.
  12. AwdreeHpburn
    OK - so what I get from that ques is that it IS indeed bad, you're just looking for the degree?? Why IS it bad?
  13. AwdreeHpburn
    Maria - I really do have the same prob - most everything else looks fairly normal but my tummy - cept I don't think of mine as very small. I've heard LOADS of guys say they like a little pooch on tummys. The radio show I listen to in the morning did a call in poll - sort of weird - but lots of guys were calling in saying they sort of like a little tummy. But really, the only way to get rid of "fat" is a good cardio work out - Yoga Booty Ballet. If you just have a little toning to do, try sit ups or crunches or something.
  14. AwdreeHpburn
    yeh what venus said. sounds like a LDR to me....days can go by with little word. Try what venus said.
  15. AwdreeHpburn
    wow...yeh, that is a long time. You should prolly get this figured out then. If this is gonna be long term, this could be your life. Are there other issues or are things pretty much ok otherwise?
  16. AwdreeHpburn
    you go fairie! I totally agree. Get as far away from this guy as possible. Move on. I don't understand why you HAVE to see him socially, but if there's no avoiding it, you need to act unaffected because he's not worthy of your true emotion.
  17. AwdreeHpburn
    never is... how long have you been dating him?
  18. AwdreeHpburn
    good for you boplait - I'm glad you decided that you're better off without it!
  19. AwdreeHpburn
    Pretty much harmless?? Search the web. There have been many, many studies that proves that statement wrong. Pot does do things to the human brain. I'm not judging smokers, honeslty. But marijuana is harmful. If it makes cancer patients feel better, whatever works and I'm glad there are things that do. But I have known WAY too many non-cancer patients who smoke that stuff like cigarettes (which are bad too).
  20. AwdreeHpburn
    ...and take a look at yourself.
  21. AwdreeHpburn
    I agree with Orgasmictofu and fairie on the gateway thing. I too think it depends on the person. When I was a teenager, it WAS the gateway drug for me. But it wasn't for some of my friends. Just for the record - drugs are bad. Even pot.
  22. AwdreeHpburn
    maybe you're just a really curious person. or maybe he hides things and things don't feel right because they're not. confront him. ask him about it. if he gets pissed, talk about that. maybe like last time, there is nothing to find. if you are naturally a suspicious person, deal with that. maybe you need to trust him more or maybe you're like that because he is untrustworthy. talk it out, with yourself. like I said earlier, the only stupid question is the one NOT asked, even of yourself.
  23. AwdreeHpburn
    not meaning to be callous, but doesn't that feel weird to you?? That you ask him stuff and he gets mad at you?? Are you ever in any other kind of situation like that in any other aspect of life? Where someone gets MAD at you for asking them stuff?? How are you asking? Are you accusing? Are you asking sarcastically? Are you being demanding? Not that its on you, I'm just trying to find a reason in my mind why someone would get angry about being asked a question. Unless...wiat....unless he's got something to hide?!? yeh...good guy. Gets mad when you ask him stuff, hides things from you...
  24. AwdreeHpburn
    dude, I'm so sorry. He IS a player. He is no good, selfish and the only way to "win" this one is to act every time you are around him that it did NOT get to you. That will drive him nuts. Act like you have already moved on, you're the happiest person on the planet...If you HAVE to see him sometimes, bring along a date, even a "dummy" date if you have to. Never let him see how much he has affected you. That will just feed into the sickness he has and will fuel the fire. I'm sorry he "played" you and is doing the same thing to a wife and lots of other girls. He's sick. But you are not. You found out, got out and have a chance at real happiness. You gotta play a player. Post here about how you're feeling, but don't ever let on to him how hurt or angry you are. And try stay away from married men. They're trouble all around.
  25. AwdreeHpburn
    yes. do you guys talk about stuff? why not ask him about it? Oh, and there's no such thing as a stupid question. Except the one NOT asked...
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