Memi

...I can't tell you how refreshing it is when guys are completely honest with you. I'd rather have a guy telling me that they hook up with girls they meet at clubs (so that I can make a decision whether I want that in my life) rather than hide it from me, or not mention it and let me find out later (just to save me from the hurt in the beginning. I went on a date with a guy that told me the he wasn't really interested something long-term and that the most recent he hooked up with someone else was 1 week before we did (yes we hooked up before our first date out)....and instead of being angry, I was just thought, "atleast he's honest!!". But maybe it's because I'm so used to guys trying to hide everything...and ending up finding out later. Hope this helps some of you guys...

... in dealing with their emotions. She said that it takes longer to settle in a man's mind that they're in love or even strongly like a woman. And that when they say that "they don't know" they really mean it. It's just not clear in their heads at the moment that they could truly possibly be in love with someone. At first I thought it was a bunch of BS...but I think my mother could be right about this.... What do y'all think?

But I don't think Norman digs me in that way. We've talked before, we joke around, but we don't flirt with each other. We have, however, said that we should hang outside of work...but for nothing more than just having fun with friends. Also, Ignatius is not the type of person at all that would have to tell his friend to invite me somewhere he would definitely do it himself. So maybe this whole Norman thing is totally separate from Ignatius. I guess I'll find out tonight...and I'll update you guys tomorrow... Thanks for your thoughts!!!

Using the names you've given: Ignatius = The guy who flirts with me. Norman = the friend (who actually happens to be cute as well). Norman (Ignatius's VERY GOOD friend) called me to hang out with Norman and his friends which I would assume includes Ignatius....but then again, he never even mentioned that Ignatius would be there. I'm still going to go whether or not Ignatius is there...but it's just so weird.

And now for a (very weird) twist.... His friend actually just called me up and invited me out to hang out with him and some friends tonight. WEIRD! I mean, this guy has never called me before, although I knew he had my number because of work. What in the world is going on????

I do try to flirt back a little...but he knows that I "go slow", so I don't really like saying suggestive things without having the experience, ya know? I don't want to be a tease to him. I do sometimes tell him that he looks sexy and cute... but there have been times when I say something like "leave your front door unlocked " and it seems like he totally shuts down, like the flirting all of a sudden stops. Which is why I'm getting mixed signals.

Unfortunately, to this guy, it's probably become "messy". It could have been: Boy likes girl, boy flirts with girl, girl flirts back, a friendship ensues, boy and girl go on a date, boy and girl live happily ever after (I'm joking ofcourse). But with you and him it's like: boy likes girl, girl disses boy in front of others, girl pretends that he's no one important (because we all love to feel unimportant), boy gets frustrated and gives up, boy gets call from dissing girl to go out, boy is confused , and probably a bit scared, girl buys him drinks, boy thinks girl is manipulative and controlling, boy needs his manhood back, so he buys his buddy drinks..... ...do you see where I'm going here? You made something simple a little bit complicated and things ended up being really confusing to everyone.

lol! That's awesome! Was it just a one time thing? Did it ruin the friendship you two had before? Oh, and why were you "half-joking"? Did part of you not want to make out with her?

I called him last night. He had a movie that my friend had lent him and I wanted to see it (hey, it was the best excuse I could come up with!). I called him to see if he was done with it so I could borrow it...and he said that he hasn't seen it yet and that I could only watch it if I watch it with him at his place....again the flirting...so I asked him what time he'll be home (because he was out). At that point he got a little serious and said, "if you want though you can go get it my front door is unlocked." There was a little bit more flirting, but the conversation was over quick, with no invitation to hang out last night, nor any propositions for hanging out in the future.... ...are you guys SURE that he seems genuinely interested? I've read that book "He's Just Not into You" and it seems like he's just not interested. Could our age difference possibly have something to do with it? Would he be embarrassed to hook up with a 26 year old?

OK here's a little background...I work a few days a week with a guy who is 22, I'm 26. We've worked together for about 3 years, with just regular conversation, banter back and forth, and jokes, etc... We've never hung out outside of the job, but he is always saying the we have to hang out sometimes (but he never calls and actual does it). In the past year, he has made several allusions to "hooking up" with me with no strings attached, and now it's become an ongoing joke. Now here's the thing...he's gorgeous and I'm starting to feel very attracted to him, and kinda wish he was serious about it. My friends seem to think that if I did wanna hook-up that he would totally go for it, but I fear that there's a possibility of being rejected...and I don't want that! So my question is, do you think he would be scared off if I happen to call him and asked if he wanted to hang out. Do you think, from what I've told you that he would reject me and that all the flirting and joking was just that and nothing more? I should add, that right now, that's all I'm looking for: a hook-up, I don't necessarily want to be in a relationship right now.

....ever since the break-up I've had the biggest desire just to get up and leave the country. I've been on craigslist looking at the costs of flats in London, as well as jobs that I would need to support myself...and just starting off clean without the ex, without all the people that had ANY influence on us, or that remind me of him. Plus, I fancy the English accent quite a bit =). Am I going insane?

Just wondering, is this a brand new job? Maybe it'll take some time...acquaintances usually become friendships over time if there's some effort put into it. I was just reading a book that explained that if you want to make friends, find out what their "needs" are and see if you can offer any assistance, usually that's how great friendships start, when you help out someone...also, just talking to people about what their interests are (who doesn't like talking about themselves) can start communication rolling.

Maybe it's just scratching the surface, but I really do feel angry because I don't understand how anyone can betray me like that? Why did he lie about the stupid things and think that he could get away with away with just awful things. Why doesn't he care about anyone but himself? Why were his words never backed up with action? Why did I stay with him when EVERYONE told me that he was no good? (Well, I guess for that one, I should just be angry with myself...which I am). I'm angry because I don't have answers...unfortunately I might never get them. I hate him because he always gives me hope and then lets me down. And now he's abandoned me and I have no idea what he's doing anymore. I hate him because he never stood up for me. I hate him because his sister was trying to get him to go back to his ex, and he never told her to stop....and in the end, they were back in communication (and may or may not have slept together). I just hate him....and maybe that's good...maybe without the anger I'd just be the stupid ex that keeps going back. Even after my first post, I couldn't stop writing the angry emails. I did it up until yesterday. I decided I needed to stop because I was starting to feel like a LOUSY person, and that's not who I am! Throughout the relationship he has definitely brought out the worst in me! And I don't want to be that person....so I let go. I went out with my friends...had a blast...and I just feel better today. Maybe I was too dependent upon him for friendship? And I felt abandoned....

...I've been feeling extremely irritable. I get mad at every little thing that goes wrong....I get upset at people more quickly. I blame my ex for everything and even went as far as writing him several letters telling him how I hate him, and what's wrong with him, and just hurling insults at him. At first he tried dishing them back, but then he just told me he'd never read anything from me ever again. Which is for the best I guess. I'm just so angry...I feel like a fool for going back to him so many times only to find out more lies... How do I get over this and move on? How can I go back to my normal sweet self? Why am I so angry ALL the time?

....that we can fight and argue, say horrible things to each other, break up and that on Valentine's Day he could still ask me to be his Valentine? He never said sorry for anything he's done, we've been ignoring each other for the longest time (well, he's been ignoring my emails), and now he sends me little teddy bears and thinks that I can just forget about everything that has happened? HOW CAN SOMEONE BE THAT DELUDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1