miniblinded2

I consider myself pretty average looking, but most people beg to differ, especially my boyfriend who thinks I'm absolutely gorgeous. I'm not a flirt, but I seem to get hit on all the time. Most of the time, it's just silly stuff, but I occasionally have guys make complete idiots of themselves and the stories are so funny that when I share them with co-workers and friends, they laugh their heads off. I'm tempted to tell my boyfriend about the really hilarious instances of guys pulling pathetic stunts to win my affection, but I'm in a long-distance relationship with a much older man (I'm 30, he's 47). I'm afraid he'll feel worried, jealous and hurt if he learns that other guys are trying to pick up his "gorgeous" younger woman while he's stuck abroad. He often makes jokes about how I must have guys jumping all over me all the time, but says this with an obvious tinge of worry and insecurity. I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I don't volunteer any info about "the competition". I know I'd probably feel uncomfortable knowing that all these young women were hitting on him all the time, I'd wonder if he was tempted, if they were prettier than me … all kinds of worries. Should I bother telling him my funny stories or keep my mouth shut? Our relationship is very strong, we love each other very much and have a great deal of trust and respect for one another. Obviously I'm not interested in any of these guys but I can't help but laugh and be flattered when I walked out of the grocery store and found my car covered in flowers with a love note from a stranger saying he finds me gorgeous, hopes his gesture isn't too creepy and leave his phone number and email. It kind of goes in the category of "You'll never guess what the heck happened to me today!" My mom has always told me to never talk to your man about other men, hence mom's the word. So what's the verdict? To tell or not to tell?

I come from a long line of people who always gets people's names wrong. When I was a kid, my mom would call for me by every one of my sister's names, sometimes she even called me by the dog's name! I've nearly called my current boyfriend by my ex's name on more than one occasion. I catch myself and I know he notices. Luckily, both start with the letter D. I'm so bad about confusing names that in the passion of the moment, I strictly use the terms "oh baby" or something of the sort because I'm too paranoid I'll use the wrong name. It has nothing to do with me thinking of anyone else! Trust me!! And my mind couldn't be any further from any thought of my ex! It's a brain fart. A form of name dyslexia. For a joke, try wearing a name tag at family gatherings. About the trip she took with her ex and thought it was with you... well, it's kind of nice that she associates all of the positive happy times in her life with you. It just shows that she's so happy with you that she couldn't possibly have experienced happiness with anyone else!! So obviously that happy moment she had on that trip couldn't have been with anyone else but you!

Willingness to lend money to someone doesn't show commitment!! Banks lend money... do they love you and want to be with you? Come on! Your ex is playing games with you to make himself look like a better man because he lent you money when you needed a hand. He's hurt that you dumped him for your beau and is trying to caste doubt in your mind about your choice. The only way you'll know how committed your b/f is is to ask him. And if he says he's committed to you, can you believe him? Well, like the rest of us in the world, the only "true" test of one's commitment is the test of time. As far as being used just for sex, well think: is it always wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am? Or is there more substance to your relationship? Discuss your level of commitment with your current boyfriend, not your ex! If I asked advice from my ex, I don't care how great of friends we are, he's always going to try to convince me that I was better off with him. It's a guy thing, they want to feel they were the best guy and you're going to spend the rest of your life regretting that you left him. It's an ego thing.

Alright, maybe I'm out to lunch, but what she describes happened that night sounds more to me like sexual assault. Being drunk and on 4 xanax, she must have been really incoherent and the guy took advantage of her near-vegetative state. I can't see her being able to give consent for any kind of sex under the influence of the drug-alcohol combo. Maybe a medical professional could clarify how coherent a person drunk and on 4 xanax really is. Maybe she's covering up for an infidelity, maybe she's telling you the truth. Stop drinking and go to counselling. Your drinking is hurting your kids. And punishing you wife is also hurting your kids. This is a case where you need to seek professional help.

I'm a younger woman with an older guy, I'm not sure if my advice qualifies for anything, but I feel your pain and though I could maybe offer some help. I was with a guy who was 13 years old than me and I met him when I was 23. Six years later, I "suddenly" fell out of love. In truth, things had been all wrong from the beginning. It took me quite a while to realize it, to admit I had made a mistake and to finally have the courage to call it quits. Was I too young at 23? To be honest, I had NO CLUE what I wanted in life and in fact, did not have a clue what true love really was. I realize now that the reason why I "suddenly" fell out of love is because I hadn't really been in love with him in the first place. My limited life experience just made me think I was in love. I thought I knew what love was, but I know I didn't have a clue. Like they say: Love is not attachment, nor is it detachment Love does not contain fear nor is it pleasure There is beauty in love There is freedom in love There is understanding in love I found true love... with a man who's 17 years older than me. Obviously, it wasn't an age thing that made my other age-gap relationship fail. BTW I'm 30 now. I know it really, really hurts, but real with yourself, you admit you had problems in the relationship (altercations). Sure it was passionate, it was exciting, but true love is not built on drama. Problems don't usually get better, they get worse! Roller-coaster relationships are not healthy for you. You're a strong independent woman... you wouldn't have gotten this far in life if you weren't! Eat bland crackers even when you're not hungry, read a book or watch TV when you can't sleep, and drag your butt back to work! You don't want to be broken-hearted and unemployed!! (PS: Don't count on disability insurance - I work in the insurance industry and broken-hearts don't make you eligible for benefits) Right now you're grieving the loss of a loved one. It's normal to feel how you feel. It will get better. Try to think of things you can to give yourself a boost, to reorganise your life. Maybe it's getting a new manicure or your hair done gorgeously, exercising or renting movies, long walks in nature or read magazines or books in a small cafe. Keep a diary and write down all your thoughts. Reconnect with your friends and family. This time is about you and finding yourself again. It will get better, don't worry. And smile. Just the act of smiling has a magical way of making your feel better. Try it!

I'm 30 and my true love is 47. He confesses to having "really low mileage" when comes to women. He tells me he can't believe he "scored" such a gorgeous young thing like me. We've been together for a year and he still has moments of insecurity. He asks me why I want to be with an old fart like him when I could get any guy I want. He worries that I'll someday get fed up with him and leave him. He's obviously looking for reassurance, but I'm not sure what kind of reassurance he wants. Does he want to be told he's loved unconditionally or that he's a stud in the... er, romance department? What can I say that will send his ego orbiting around the outer planets? Essentially, what I'm getting at is: 1. What are the biggest insecurities older guys have about being with a younger woman. 2. What do they want to hear from their younger woman which wil reassure them when they get insecure?