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Darketernal

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  1. Darketernal
    The 'problem' lies in her court. Not yours. This means that if 'she' is gone out of your life, the 'problem' has gone out of your life. All the reason to let her 'stay' out of your life. Close yourself and prevent from having contact with this woman as it only ruins your life. It certainly hasn't brought you happyness. Not in the past and not in the future, so why would you allow yourself to admit to a pathway that brings you misery? She is a gateway to misery in the way she is now. Bringing her back into your life, only means that you passed the gateway and are walking to that same misery. If i where you id let her stay the 'hell' out of my life. I think there are a few wires loose in her head. Now that you are gone i think she is noticing what she is missing. (she just doesn't trust men!!! She is happy on her own!) Ya thats why she calls you and says that she misses you ,lol. These are quite some contradictions. And that said she is 'full' of contradictions. If you want her in your life again then thats up to you, i certainly wouldn't.
  2. Darketernal
    A shy guy 'just can't do that' His unhappyness comes from that he isn't able to 'react' to what you said. It doesn't mean he dislikes you, in his secret hidden corner he most likely likes you a LOT. But in the 'real' world he would 'never' fathom to say this to you because he hasn't the courage to speak this out to you. Or to anyone for a matter of fact. Everything stays 'within' the walls of his world. Basically you asking him out is an attack on his solitairy world on which he doesn't know how to deal with, this makes him extremely uncomfortable. The whole thing with shy guys is the following, they would love to have a person in their lives that would end their lonelyness. But you aren't on the same frequency as him, nor should you, but its the reason why you got 'repelled' by him. Basically if you want to go out with him , you'll need to drill a hole into his world and step in. This means the following. -don't give up. -make it very easy for him to date you. -become available. Even if he says No, to you. Just say to him, look you don't have to give a straight answer, i want to go with you to (movie x) on 'thursday(for examples sake)' just let a few days between it so he can think about it, then a few days later just ask him out again. This is important , because it means you will give him 'space' which he will definitly appreciate, also if he says no to your request, just ask him out 2 weeks later another time. If he says no then, well then just say to him ' i give up'. But here's my number (or e-mail) if you want to go out with me , just give me a call. Its only natural that his actions gave you a insecure feeling, i mean a guy that is so shy that he can only say 'no' to everything and everyone that comes into his life. Which gives you the feeling you are rejected, while in reality there is nothing wrong with you, it be just his shyness playing parts on him acting so weird. Just give it another chance as i stated above, after that just drop it then. He won't change or isn't ready to change.
  3. Darketernal
    Two guys laying in the same bed eh, for a straight guy such an act would be 'unthinkable' , so in such a situation(that is if he'd be single) i would definitly tease him in a simular way about being gay and such, 8/10 that he's either gay or bi-sexual. You see the problem is he still is in a relationship , and you have no right to interfere between 'him' and 'her', and driving a wig between the love that they share. You simply have to wait (and not at any cost or any price actively take part into making them separate) Watch out for that stuff, if you and him where together you would dislike a 'third' party who ruins what you have too, so don't do upon another what you wouldn't like seeing to happen to yourself. When he possibly breaks up then you can tell him your true feelings, basically it all has taken too much time anyway. I think that this stuff has being going on for quite a longer time 2-3 years mayhaps? The thing is , if 'your wrong' and he is 'straight' , it would make him 'extremely' uncomfortable if he comes to the knowledge that he was laying next to a gay person all those years =\ That's happyness for you but hell for him lol, i hope you can understand that. But anyway his comments are suspicious to say the least, but for now just wait and see.
  4. Darketernal
    I gues you can't do anything rather then cheer him up saying something like ' don't worry you'll meet the love of your life soon enough' , just keep on cheering and encouraging him.
  5. Darketernal
    She walked over you like a carpet and you let her do it. The person who loves you must accept you for who you are, she was demanding change from you i believe for the wrong reasons. I think she was the type of woman that was simply 'too beautiful' for her own good, making her head go up in space as she could get anything from any guy that she desired. I think that you shouldn't let people walk over you, no matter how beautifull they are. Outer appearance count less then inner appearances. She should have accepted you at the least. I mean this woman who dated other guys while you where with her is just someone who is 'wrong' for you , you need to be weary of these kind of females.
  6. Darketernal
    Wanna date me =) lol, i thougth that would cheer you up. Anyway don't be sad, ehm even if your overloaded with work, there's always even a little time in the weekend to go out for a few hours. That is if there is some outgoing life near you, or maby even within a short drive, don't let yourself be the one to stop you. Maby there you'll find the partner of your dreams, and can have a fun time in a simular fashion as your room mate is having. Its good to enjoy life and to let yourself go every now and then. Fun in moderation we call it.
  7. Darketernal
    The point is 'DONT' be dependent on your professor and his teachings. Because it will give you the idea that you aren't the one who is in control of your own life. Yes its bad if you have a terrible teacher, but are you letting your life being defined by the bad people around you, take back the power in your life. If you know he's a godawfull teacher , then grab your books and master the materials you need to study by your own means by 10 fold, if he's really that bad, then you have more chance by teaching the materials to yourself. You can't let * * * *heads threaten YOUR FUTURE, you can't let others determine YOUR future. YOU are the one who has to beat the odds and the bad teachers. Even if you are right for pointing the blame game finger at him for bad teaching, that doesn't mean you should allow him to ruin your future. How did it went again, ah yes. Take control of your own lifes destination , or let others control your destination for you. That's the situation you are in.
  8. Darketernal
    Your the one who is psycho into making contact with her, sorry bud but this misery you are experiencing something you have imposed upon yourself by calling her while you knew it was over! down:
  9. Darketernal
    You my man have been raped. Its sexual harrasment to say the least, and exposing you to sexual acts at your age at the time is considered to be pedofile , yes ,woman can be pedofiles too. Even just posting this here, means that you have been mentally afflicted by this in a bad way. I suggest(not kidding her) seriously to go to see a theraphist and get professional councelling as unwanted sexual acts can create mental devestation for many many years to come. By talk talk talking about it, you can try to find closure and bury the issue. These kind of events will also make you feel uncomfortable with future sexual experiences because you'll be constantly reminded about that 'bad' event, i can tell you tho that 'not' all woman or people are like that at all. Sex is something to enjoy, not to be tormented by. And that is something you will have to 're-learn' by loving your partner to the fullest, and enjoying eachothers bodies in such a way that you can be mentally satisfied with it in a peacefull manner.
  10. Darketernal
    This advice is something i got from a woman who had been married for over 50 years. A relationship is about being together, but still being able to do your own thing. Its called 'freedom within boundries' , and if you clamp to hard on her she will have this suffocating feeling that she has now. Everything in the universe attracts or repelles for certain reasons, i would just give her a 3 week break, and cut down on seeing her in half time after that compared to the amount of times that you are currently seeing her now. When she is with you, you need to make her 'happy' not suffocate her. Its delicate but try to find a balance in that ok?
  11. Darketernal
    The word 'damage' comes to my mind. You don't want to end up in a situation where 'both' girls come to hate you. Imagine this scenario you go out with jessica's friend, jessica becomes jealous , spreads bad rumors about you to the new girl,the new girl starts to hate you + jealous jessica will hate you + hate her friend. So far all these relationships have only done you damage, because you aren't able to provide continues light and love into the relationship, and because you go into the relationship for pure selfish reasons and desires, even if you fall in love with her do you really 'care' for her on long terms? You are hereby warned that this could end up into total mayhem, it could become very nasty , i also dislike how you put God into charge of your relationships. People have 'free' will to go out with whoever they want, its their individual choice to be with someone or not. God does not,will not and is not responsible to bring people together like that.
  12. Darketernal
    Ok the thing is clear for me. Closure is the keyword. You see you can't keep the ex on a leash, this whole 'just be friends thing' is extremely unhealthy for you for him and your new boyfriend. It creates a triangle affair. So END a relationship 100% , before you engage into a 'new' relationship. That way the ghosts of the past won't come back to haunt you. That you allowed 'the door to be left open for your ex to come back in your life and ruining whatever you have' is the reason that things have gone wrong. You must understand that you can only be commited to 'one' partner, any other guy will only hurt the current relationship that you have with your current bf. So prevent this 'mistake' and don't create triangle affairs. Cast the bad people and bad elements continuesly 'out' of your life. THis way you'll only be left with the happy ends.
  13. Darketernal
    You have to 'confirm' and motivate him that he is allowed to do 'more'. He seems like a decent guy who wouldn't dare to 'violate' a woman, that's plausible because a guy suffers the possibility that a woman will scream 'rapist, and murderer' all over if he touches her in a place where she didn't want to be touched. Telling him that he is allowed to kiss you is important 4 you 2. That way you can encourage him to bring the relationship to a further level. He likes you for sure, otherwhise he wouldn't have showed interest in the first instance to begin with, thereforeeee just motivate him more. Keyword = motivational communication.
  14. Darketernal
    What you have to do in your life is to bring 'order in chaos' Everything is build onto unstable factors in your life, as wel as in his life. Trust me you 'cant' use a life that constantly crumbles under your feet. You want things in life that you can 'rely' on. You can't live from love, nor can he. You have to be honest to yourself both of you have NOTHING to go on futurewhise. K you have all these 'things' in your head, but your not being 'realistic' you need to get your head out of space and come back to earth and 'observe' how things "REALLY" are, and things are looking bleak. You shouldn't give up your life for this guy to begin with because the rule is. SECURE YOUR FUTURE FIRST , read that again. Without that there is no stable underground for both of you to live on. Unlike popular belief , marrying and getting kids is not an automatic ideal for happyness. You and him need a stable furtile financial ground to build on. Neither you are him have any of that. You love him, and you think that comes first, but the thing is he and you have to sort out the 'chaotical mess' and bring it into a financial order before you can do or build up 'any kind' of future together. The only thing you can do for him is 'pray' for him, as there is nothing substantial that you can do at this moment in your life to support him. I advice you to complete your studies, secure your future into getting a diploma and build up something substantial in your life that doesn't crumble in your hands. Maby in the future you two could have something stable together but unless he and you sort this mess out you'll never be able to live a 'substantial' financially secure life.
  15. Darketernal
    I would scold him for going on such a long journey with only 20 dollars on him, that's insane because anything can go wrong as he has learned the hard way. I don't see any reason why he would be hurt or anything but, he's probably on some bus ride already not having a phone with him(which explains the no contact) trying to get home. I wouldn't worry to that extend that he'd be murdered or something because he seems like a wanderer kind of type. If you ask me he'll manage and has made you worried for all the wrong reasons. Most likely he'll step of the buss and suddenly appear in your district again, alive safe and sound.
  16. Darketernal
    You shouldn't go into a relationship if you don't have time for eachother, i don't know if this is a long term thing but as you state it it doesn't seem like you have time for a gf, you see. A relationship is a continues investment from both sides, when one cannot make that investment the relationship degrades, and possibly a break up will follow. I wouldn't start investing in this classical bible example of where a man started building a tower, without checking if he had enough money to finish what he started. If you put time , where i placed money, then you know where im heading too in this example. Don't start things that you cant sustain or bring to a good end.
  17. Darketernal
    Your not over your ex-bf, you haven't 'moved on' as you would have liked us to believe. That's why you still feel dead inside and why even dating a 'thousand' guys could never meet up the standards with 'him', because if it isn't 'him' then it isn't 'going to happen' You want him back, thats for sure. Is that thought realistic? Probably not seeing your in sack and ashes here. I think you should never have gone into a relationship expecting things to work out just because it concerns 'your' case, a guy can pack his bags and leave anyday. The rest is just bull * * * * of what you wrote, you are giving the power away of your own life into someone elses hands , these new boyfriends they might as wel have been empty puppets from your perspective. With an attitude like that you are letting yourself to be nothing more then a log of wood adrifting in some river heading towards a waterfall. Nothing in this universe can make you happy exepct loving and helping other people, Life is what you make it, celebrate it. Bring this power back where it belongs, namely in 'your' hands. That way you will be a defining factor wether a relationship works out or not, if you do that then you will be acting responsible like you should for your OWN quality of life, which is defined by you, and not by any man. Stop being so shallow, stop expecting things from life that aren't there. What you need is 'closure' from your failed relationship. There are many great men out there , not only do they need a oppertunity, but you also have to give yourself a chance.
  18. Darketernal
    Wel, the virus must be present in de body, and the only requirement is that 'one' of the two persons having sex (regardless of sexe) has the virus and has unprotective sex. The blame towards 'gay' people came around 1980 or near that area, a homosexual person from the United States who had contracted aids after a vacation in Afrika had sex with males , then came back to America and spreaded the disease thru various male orgy's , where litterary hundreds of men had sex with eachother. This guy was referred as 'Nr.1' , even doctors would describe him as a very handsome male who had 'something about him' which of course was his sexual attraction. This is why Gay people 'get the blame' and why the mythical idea came that gay people 'created' the disease. The aids virus is normally found in chimpansees who are resistant to it, the tranfer from chimpansee to human took place, when a doctor (in a attempt to save human lives) took out blood from the chimpansees (in order to create a cure for some disease) and exposed human beings to the chimpansees blood , in which (the unknown at the time aid virus) was present, and mingled with the blood of these people who actually DID get cured but got one disease replaced with a far more deadlier package and became the first HIV positives. These African people had sex with numerous people in such perspective that the virus is spreading still over human kind today. But its not restricted to homosexuals at all.
  19. Darketernal
    Well your overly jealous which is a very bad aspect. This is all derived from your emotions running loose like a wild stampede. I would definitly try to get more control over your emotions into binding them with a leash so that you prevent yourself from coming into hurtfull situation. As what him concerns, i think you gradually have to show him your emotions , telling him something like. 'i hope you don't freak out, and i want you to just think of it , but i have feelings for quite a while for you, and really enjoy us being together' I think that confession is the way to go, because you always miss if you never shoot your arrows. You see its a win win situation, if you tell him your feelings and he says no, you can move on with your life, and if he says yes then you got yourself a boyfriend. =)
  20. Darketernal
    Ok , i would go out with her again , but i would say to her i want to go out on the sole condition that you don't 'leave' all of a sudden again, im sure you had your reasons but you have no idea how i missed you and how it has hurt me that you left me. I want you to promise me that your absolutely sure that you want me this time, because i have feelings too that can be hurt. thereforeeee this time i hope you are ready for committing yourself to me. You can e-mail that to her, and tell her that you still have feelings of love for her, and that you would love to go out again. With some hesitation i'll raise a green flag here, Be cautious tho.
  21. Darketernal
    You should listen to your 'gut' feeling. As it is your inner voice that is saying that something is wrong. Especially if it 'has' gone wrong before, then you should act as an enforcer. Check up, call her and ask her what she has been doing. "freedom within boundries" is the keyword, you see in comparison if you have a dog on your leash you can let it walk a certain way but still offer control over it when things go wrong. You have to 'steer' the dog back into the right direction. I have the feeling that 'although yes its a good thing that she can see her friends' , you 'released' the leash and now in comparison the dog is running away from you, and you are running after the dog =\ What i am saying here is that you gave her too much freedom in this relationship. With normal trustworthy people this shouldn't be a problem , but she has a bad past, in where she maby have cheated on you. You are only opening gateways for her to let this happen again , if you unleash her like you have done now. Regular eye to eye contact, talking and asking where she has been and what she has been doing should at least give her the idea of 'hey , my bf is checking up on me which gives me less room to cheat on him' , although it can still happen you should disallow her 'the room' in which she can make that move.
  22. Darketernal
    I am an intelligent, successful businessman with amazing achievements behind me = Worthless. Because you have ZERO knowledge off the spiritual laws that you have violated, because (yes besides laws of nature and physics,(and although this sounds like crap to you)) there are also laws of the spirit that dictate that whatever you cast on someone else will get thrown back on you, wether it be good or bad , what you seeded by leaving your wife, is now harvested by your lover leaving you for a another person. Now you can understand what kind of hell you have put your wife thru, and the feelings of lonelyness and dispair that she has gone thru. Good riddance one might first say, however just saying that would not help your case. You see, you always have to perceive things from 'another persons shoes' and how it affects someone elses lives, and you are learning this the 'hard' way how your irrisponsible actions devastated the life of someone else. You can't just 'go out' and ruin someone elses life like that. Is this your idea of marriage and making your wife happy? I tell you this. Nothing in this universe can make you happy but loving and helping others. Your life is only amazing from 'your persective' from a different point of view all what you have done is having put misery and darkness in other people's lives. If the measuring stick of the universe is perfect love, how do you think your life would compare to that. I assure your life is probably not going to look as 'amazing' of an a achievement as you like to believe it is. I want you to read some of these people's near-death experience, and you don't have to believe a * * * * what is in it.I merely want you to review your own actions, by reading about what happens after you die,and how God would reflect your life. link removed link removed And tell me your opinion after it, im dying to hear you on how you experienced some self reflection.
  23. Darketernal
    You have to realise that you 'CANNOT' give him the 'professional' help he needs to get rid of his drug abuse, you can only redirect him to seek help and goto a rehab clinic, but distantiate yourself mentally from him, keep the door on a lock, only talk to him thru the key hole, giving him giving directions to go and get help at a rehab center. If he rejected you for the * * * * he has now, then its 'his' loss. You are a wonderfull person and you deserve better then a liar, him going off with a 40 year old is only one of the first in many brain malfunctions that is degrading from the drug abuse on the path of self destruction he has chosen. You have to take care of yourself and keep the hell away from him, as he will try to 'pull' you into his vacuum of misery. I wouldn't call him or contact him anymore , you want a loving partner, not a drug patient who cheats on you!!!
  24. Darketernal
    The primairy reason that you don't want me to provide further input is because you are unable and unwilling to confront yourself with the 'truth'. What you need is a hard SLAP in your face, and ask yourself the question ' What in Gods name am i doing against myself?' ](*,) Your husband, he's easy readable to me, you see your husband is what we call a 'spoiled child' , why work if you hold your hands open and money flies in, why put the trash outside if the wife will do it for me, why make the effort to sleep in bed, while i can sleep right here? (Jesus Christ) So he just jumps from pleasure to pleasure from comfort zone to comfort zone, since you leaving him would put him 'out of the comfort zone' he begged you to stay, and you actually fell for it :splat: , its just sad. Anway when one takes a wrong direction and ends up in a world war one must 'go aaaaaaalllll the waaaaay back , to the point where it started out wrong' , then make a decision to take a different turn, rather then a wrong turn. You already came to the final decision that your marriage was a wrong decision from the beginning to the end. Now we are all waiting with eager for you to divorce him, take a step back and make healthy decision on deciding what direction and course you will take now in life. Don't worry about the kids, they have you, they never had a 'dad' to begin with. Marriage is a 'continues' investment from BOTH sides, You all only had "EGO MAN" , you must stop this self torture immediately and take decisive actions to bring yourself out of the darkness, and back into the light. Cast off your fear!, Look forward, GO forward, Never stand still, Retreat and you will age, Hesitate and you will die.
  25. Darketernal
    I would move with him, even if it was foolish i would try to build up another life where he is going together with him, if all things fail you could always go back to arizona.
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