Benny1077

So last Monday I got a little too drunk and noticed the profile ex had created on My Space (hobbies included trying new things, having fun, etc....). Well I called her and she knew I was drunk. I asked her if she was sleeping with the guy I heard in the background talking to her Mom. She danced around it then said he was gay. However, she did admit to seeing and sleeping with another guy. I asked her where her morals were and told her I wished she was dead (I didn't say I was going to kill her, mind you). Then a couple days later, one of my friends who's Mom works with my ex warned me that she was "probably" going to file a police report and that she asked to be escorted out of work every day in fear for her safety. Everybody at her work thinks she's a big joke and just starved for attention. Is it true that the anger stage after a break up is normal? I really see that this girl is a psycho and not worth worrying about. I realize now that I MUST do no contact. Then the same friend who warned me told me she also slept with a married man at work and that she did it when her mother was in the house and knew what was going on but couldn't stop it because she is ALSO sleeping with a married man. And I was going to marry into this family. YIKES!

-I've learned that you can't love someone else again until you love yourself -I've also learned that sometimes the past should stay in the past

I was doing so well with NC then last night I called my ex. I got it out of her that she has been seeing and sleeping with another guy for a little over a month. Told her I didn't think it was like her to rush into something like that, which basically didn't give me a leg to stand on because we got serious after about a month. I said some nasty things and basically ended the conversation telling her I never wanted to see or talk to her again, which I thought was good considering how messy the conversation was and how much babbling I was doing. At least now I don't have to worry about people telling me things because now I know everything. I guess I'm not doing as bad as I think I could be, for now. And I definitely never want to talk to her again. This, I think, is the closure I thought I had before.

I do have female friends I could hang with, unfortunately a few of them were mutual friends with my ex, so again we run into the useless information problem. But there are others I could hang with. What about girls who also just had their heart broken? Misery loves company, but then both of us are also vulnerable right? Had kind of a bad day today, sleep should be easier.

Yea man, keep up NC. It WILL get better!

It's been two months since my breakup and although I see signs of encouragement I know I'm not close to 100% yet. I am doing everything people have told me. I get out every night I can (sometimes alcohol is involved, sometimes not), I have been doing no contact quite well, and I'm trying to get MY life back in order. My ex tried to call twice on Wednesday but I didn't answer, she left no voice mail. What do you think she's thinking if I am making no effort to talk to her? Is "out of sight, out of mind" really a good thing. I care what she's up to, but not enough to call. It gave me strength every time I didn't pick up the phone when she called. I still feel very lonely, not necessarily because I want to be with her, but because I want to be with somebody. Everybody says it's kinda early, some of my male friends however think it would be good for me to sleep with someone just to get my mind off things, I don't know if that's such a good idea. When is the right time to start looking for something else? I luckily do not live very close to her (about 20 min. away) and she doesn't come around my area that I know of, and I don't go around hers. As said in my previous posts, I'm having an easier time recognizing the things she did to tick me off, and that's helping. Plus my friends and family really weren't too sure about her anyways. There are a select few people who try and tell me things about her and I just cut them off right away. Why do people want to tell me things if they know it might hurt me? Have they no soul? Is me not caring about what she's doing showing strength or weakness to others? I'm starting a new life, I can finally see that, but what other steps should I take?

I know what you mean...I'm still having dreams too. Doesn't start my day off very well, but the mind works in mysterious ways. Mine basically consist of her telling me she hasn't slept around, but in the dreams she shows no feelings towards me...kinda like real life.

Very useful post....NC was next to impossible for me at first, and whenever I broke it, it did make me feel like I was back at square one. Now with me actually maintaining NC I still hurt sometimes, but it's not nearly as bad as it was. I am actually making myself happy at times and am surrounding myself with people who want me to be happy.

Yea, I was doing good until today. Then I realized it actually was Valentine's Day and started to remember things about my ex (s). I guess it's somewhat normal on a day like this but who knows

Yea, this is also my first "single" Valentine's Day in about 7 years. Yea it sucks breaking up before a holiday (my ex broke it off 12-18) but I'm just gonna treat tomorrow like a regular Tuesday, go to work and then maybe go out with my buddies. Things turn around, they really do...focus on the positives.

1. At this point, I'd rather never see them again....the fact that she could be happier with someone else is the ONLY thing that still bothers me 2)Probably 1 initially. That feeling seems to be somewhat "normal", but it passes. 3) This was by far the most depressed I've ever been, but it's the first time I've been the dumpee, so I don't know. 4)I think this is a little 1 and 3.....this actually was a rebound relationship that lasted 3+ years, also I'm still a little hurt over the situation so she is still on a short pedestal 5) I've spent a lot of time thinking this. Maybe it is the reason I was (and am) so hurt. 6) Yes, that did confuse me, but then I realized she was just being her cold self

Was with her for 3.5 years...she moved out in January. I've had NC for about 2 weeks, and it does work! The first few weeks were unbearable, didn't eat or sleep. Getting out really does help, at first I really didn't want to do that, but it has given me new life. I've shut off contact with anyone who might tell me what she's doing now, that seems to be working out well. I'm able to focus more on the negative aspects of my ex more, and the good memories are not as painful to think about. I found this site just in the nick of time. The advice I've gotten on this site has been priceless. Nobody sugar coats anything so I've really been able to focus on me and get MY life back in order. It still hurts a little, but I'm living my life.

Good move, keep NC. She's just trying to get to you. Pure immaturity that message. Actually her moving on so quickly, even if there was no chance you guys could reconcile, was immature in itself.

Do you think the fact that I told her to stop calling me will make her stop calling me? Because I'm not gonna call her. The thoughts of her are still there but it doesn't stop me from living my life, which is I guess as good as I can hope for at this point. The dreams I have at night kinda shake me up too. I'm always with her in the dreams but there's always another guy who she claims she's not interested in. I wish those would stop. I mean, she's not part of my life anymore so it shouldn't be bothering me wondering what she's doing. I can honestly say that if I cared about what she was doing enough, I would break NC or I would have asked her the other night when she called me. A minor victory right?

Thanks guys! It makes me feel good (maybe in a vindictive way) that I have "turned the tables" so to speak. But so what, she hurt me, so if I could show her in any way that I'm not laying down and dying then it's good right? I just dread the next time she calls. If any of you had followed my previous posts, because of the mail situation her mother wanted to personally pick up some tickets that were mailed here. I talked to her Friday night and told her I would drop them in the mail because I was making such good progress and didn't want to move backwards by talking to her. I think I shocked her when I said that. But it worked!! It made me feel better and helped avoid a painful situation. Is it possible that her mother told her that I said that and she wanted to get information on why I was feeling better?