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gratefulpain

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  1. gratefulpain
    It’s hard ...but practice making your opinion of yourself more important than his opinion of you. His behavior stinks in my opinion. Me as a man would never treated someone that poorly... Time to work on you... time to say to yourself. "I count ..I matter" how he has treated you doesn’t change who YOU are... You can separate the behavior from a person and still love them. You can love him (from afar) but hate his behavior Acceptance doesn’t mean approval.... Heck go to link removed you... lol Take care.... NC the best way for now ~Pain is necessary... suffering is optional~
  2. gratefulpain
    volunteer that day giving to others takes the focus off yourself go camp for a night. by my house campsite is like 10 bucks.. build a fire sip wine reflect.. leave cell phone at home... do speed dating.. thats always cool.... as mentioned above... go buy a crappy piece of furniture from Goodwil etc...... remove all the old finish in the morning... sand and smooth for the middle of the day... apply stain/finish end of day... result will be somehting tangible you can set your coffee on... plus be really nice I dont suggest drinking too much..
  3. gratefulpain
    toot on! u go gurl!
  4. gratefulpain
    I would give her some stuff but not all the heart felt emotions you felt.... just say is was a bumpy road ... but time has healed you.... I spilled my guts to this girl at work and somehow i ended up in the friend zone... plus that she new my faults and weaknesses,,,, she also kind of lost a bit of respect for me for all the crap I took from my ex.... I would be very vague.. and say " if I had not have broke up with her ,,, I woulkdnt have had the chance to spend time with you''
  5. gratefulpain
    Glad youre doing ok..... u said (You have all these barriers up which make you extremely selfish) That happened to me in my relationship, and what led to my relationships end. So much went un-adressed, so much was swept under the rug, so much was never resolved that I became distant and started to not like myself for all that I was accepting. I didnt like myself and was unable to give much love because I didnt love myself at the time... Im not a psychologist but I wish there had been more talking and less distance... be carefull take care my .02
  6. gratefulpain
    Good post. You count!!!!!!!! she should be wondering the future she is going to have without you. this bit of a song helped my feeling of loss turn into gratitude then on to healing. good luck ~The dance~ Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared beneath the stars above For a moment all the world was right How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Holding you I held everything For a moment wasn't I the king But if I'd only known how the king would fall Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance
  7. gratefulpain
    dude i cant help but to relate to this.... my ex did the same crap... we had volleball practice same gym,, recently after break up ..anyway,,, she took really long getting back on the court after the 1st game and said really loud "sorry that was my boyfriend on the phone" OH MY GOD that crap hurt.....I held it together and started serious NC,, now she calls.. and i guess re-bound boy turned out to be a weiner head... now she says shes's sorry .and loves me... PLEEEeeeeassse!!! talk to the hand!! I'M SAVING ALL MY GOODIES FOR SOMEONE OF HIGHER CALIBER its karma bro...... stay strong no nc... i just been through it....
  8. gratefulpain
    NC NC NC I been there dude.... did I mention NC?
  9. gratefulpain
    when I was feeling like that I went to the bookstore, we have Borders books by my house.. I would read books on relationships etc. trying to get my own understanding.... you must stay busy... tire yourself out....go to a movie with friends etc.. stay busy up unitil time for bed... turn your phone off tonight.. tomorows another day...... think about this: HE should be wondering what YOU'RE doing.... not the other way around.. you're a class act and a fine person....his loss
  10. gratefulpain
    She said its scheduled for this weekend, she paid the down payment (not an expert on that topic) I think her family agrees its not a good idea to keep. The problem is i shouldnt care...although it is a life changing event and pretty traumatic for a woman to even decide that sort of thing.... she called yesterday I answered (not sure why) she acted as if we never broke up, chit chatting asking to borrow soemthing etc. etc... ,,, get caught up see how each is doing.. but im not into getting back together the wounds are too fresh..... I told her perhaps sometime in the futire we could walk the dog.but I suspect she's still too immature for that. I told her I loved her and probably always will. then she said "then why wont you take me back" I told her alot has happened, that her being with that other guy so soon was too much "get past".... she replied "we were broke up so I never cheated or anything" and plus havent you been with someone.. I told her no... she said yeah right.... then she started arguing... asking me why i stopped paying attention to her toward the end of the relaitonship etc. etc... then saying its all my fault..... I was the * * * * hole in all this.... that I need to blame myself... etc etc... then she hung up.... I turned my phone off.....I left my house for a couple hours just in case she drove over in a huff... I was doing so good everybody...how can someone effect me in such a way.... this is terrible... I feel like it happened yesterday.... the stament that keeps me strong is "if it had of worked out with that dude,, would she be calling me?" that really nails it... that makes me feel like second best... or better than nothing plan B
  11. gratefulpain
    what a weiner... I would 1> get your stuff out and 2> change your cell NC all the way... I'm a guy and even if it was a nasty breakup... being mean like that is just wrong ....
  12. gratefulpain
    Fides that was kind of a bummer statement. I know you mean well... I never viewed her as damaged goodsor will ..... she used to mean the world to me... I used to cry for her to come back and pray... but now its different.... she played me ... and hard as it may be I couldnt take her back I guess... I'm not sure even if friendship would be all that healthy either... just confused I guess.... I feel like theres just too much to overcome.... I think by taking her back I send a message thats says "play me I'm a sucker" it hurts because... although most wont admit they secretly want their ex back..the love they sued to know.... perhaps its my mind playing tricks or some unrealistic fantasy to "make it like it was" I prayed she would come back.......but not like this..... ;-(
  13. gratefulpain
    Hello, Quick summary.... 2 years living together... ugly ending...she got new BF one week after we broke up.. which simply crushed me...she call frequently but i dont answer or respond..... been doing 6 weeks strict NC. Anyway.... I got caught off guard yesterday with stange number on cell phone ... so I answered it... it was her.... asking how I was doing... It was akward.. she asked if I had a new GF I said no... then asked if I hated her ... I said no , theres no room in my heart for hatred I told her.... then she asked me if I still loved her.. i said yes but not in a bf/gf way.... she told me shes's been going through a tough time with a tough decision,,. right away I knew what it was.... shes pregnant... with rebound guys kid.... I did some quick math and that means the week we broke or second week,,, she must have got pregnant.... now she says he doesnt want the baby and he's a * * * * * hole bla bla... then she said she decided not to keep it... then she says she misses me she was wrong.... she's doing the medical procedure this weekend...and if we could possible have dinner or lunch.... I asked her what would be the point in that.. she said I miss you and love you and want to get back together.... This whole situaiton makes me want to vomit. I shared this with my family .. they told me to keep walking.... any comments welcome...
  14. gratefulpain
    Didnt want to start a new thread since this is along the same lines.. I got a text yesterday "Urgent Please call I need your input on something I am going through" Im not sure why but that made me pissed off.... I said to myself rather loudly in my car.... Your breaking up the "way you did it" made ME "go through somtthing".... but I took medicine.... cried my tears listened to slow songs sang the blues.... starved myself smoked a carton of ciggarettes.. drank a case of red bull daily... lived at Borders Books... neglected myself ....bascially fell apart because you decided to screw some dude a week after week broke up.... so when you text and ask me for input on your problems .... I want to scream F*&& You!!! hey that felt better... I think she knows im good hearted and preys on that for a reaction.... I mean I would always be there for her with big decisions.. etc. etc... Automatically I want to help,,, i guess anyone who needed helpI would ... so its kind of weird but doing NC makes me feel like I have to BE angry at her for me to be strong at NC..... Im just not that way..I dont stay mad very long .. but Im keeping it up.... she should have enough support,... Mom,, new BF,,, sister dad and step dad.......she's a big girl.... ~REO~ I've had enough of the falseness Of a worn out relation Enough of the jealousy And the intoleration I make you laugh And you make me cry I believe it's time for me to fly
  15. gratefulpain
    that letter was well thought out and heart felt. dont send it..... we're rootin for ya.....
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